Being sober is difficult

HeavyHands · April 2010

Keep up with an exercise regimen. Hiking, mountain biking, running, etc... All of those are activities you can do alone or with others. For example, look into joining a local club centered around activities that don't take place at a bar like a cycling club. You'll get to enjoy the outdoors, and meet new people outside of your current circle.

If you're computer inclined at all you should make a spread sheet to track how much you spend on alcohol. The annual amount might open your eyes. Then, when you look back on the past year, you might think to yourself "For the amount I spent on alcohol I could've bought a super new tv, really nice mountain bike, donated to charity, taken an amazing vacation, improved my house, etc..." It's surprising how quickly it adds up.

Best of luck with your efforts.

HeavyHands

P.S. Do you have a goal in mind, or are you doing this kind of arbitrarily/ just for a change? The issue is: If you don't have a goal with your actions, you won't know when you've reached your goal and may become dismayed and fall back into old, unhealthy habits.

pandora · April 2010

Cavstarr313 wrote:

So on March 29 I decided to quit drinking for a while.. I have been a "go to the bar after work" kinda guy for a while and I would always drink like mad on the weekends for sure.. I have been working out and feeling good lately ( i felt like hell normally for the past x years). The problem is i am having trouble hanging out with all my friends and even going to band practice with my one band because they all drink. And don't get me wrong, i am not Anti in anyway, i just get tempted. So basically i find my self getting really bored and feeling alone a lot. Anyone goy any ideas of fun things to do that don't involve drinking on the weekends???

I've found people do things out of need and a lot of our habits are set by midlife, which I'll call 35 and often influenced by what we saw as kids, things out of our control.
If you NEED to quit drinking because its causing trouble in your life it will most likely stick, either with your efforts or the help you will seek.
If you NEED to drink because it is a habit you enjoy, a stress reliever, entertainment or a mutual lifestyle with your significant others you will probably return to drink or never quit in the first place.
Its not a lot of fun to be sober around drunks this I know I carried 2 children and of course didn't drink. I felt bored, agitated and very disconnected, not a fun night out. Its best to seek sober friends if you are feeling unfulfilled.
So I guess it will come down to your needs and time will tell what's right for you. Try the nonalcoholic beer too that might help a little.

Claireack · April 2010

I gave up drinking for years, just because I used to get a little out of control really, not nasty out of control, just stupid. I guess the fact that I felt out of control scared me a bit.

In all that time I just carried on as normal, went out with friends etc. I tended to always be the designated driver. I still had a good time but because I was still doing the same stuff I never felt deprived of anything.

About 10 years ago I started having the occasional drink again, I rarely drink during the week, but occasionally at the weekends I'll have a bit of a blow out (and because I'm not a regular drinker, it takes bugger all to make me drunk).

I guess just try and keep busy and keep doing the things you enjoy but without the alcohol.

Anyway, that's probably not much help, but good luck.

Ms. Wes C.addle · April 2010

I can honestly say that I feel great about chosing to not drink. I am a total binge drinker. Vodka is my best friend in the world.... he understands me!

After way too many bad choices and feeling guilty when having a cocktail or two, then trying to supress those feelings with more, I made the decision to just stop. It was contributing NOTHING to my life or relationships with those close to me.

I try to stay very busy- writing, music, movies, pretty much living outdoors, swimming, biking. I think if I had a partner to go through the sobriety with, things would be easier. Sometimes I feel like my life is so completely lame- not going out and socializing... but sometimes we form false relationships with people due to the alcohol aspect. I think you realize who your friends truly are and if you really had anything in common with them besides the mutual attraction to getting shit-faced.

I have drank twice since Jan 1st and hate myself for not being strong enough to stick it out and stay sober. The beginning of the year was a complete overhaul- no drinking, drugs, smoking or coffee. And, having so much stress in my life, this has not been easy at all. I am proud of my sobriety but can't stand to be around people that are drinking- even to talk to some of them, hearing them drown their sorrows, its sickening. Life is much too short. At least it instills in me the fact that I have made the right decision for myself. It sometimes is waaaay too much of a crutch for people. An excuse.

But, I don't mean to preach..... I miss my friend, Mr. Goose, every weekend. Best of luck to you! There is nothing wrong with still socializing in pools of liquor... just make up your mind and stick to it. Reward yourself in some way for staying strong.

LikeAnOcean · April 2010

It's so true about your friends influencing your drinking habits. I've been avoiding a good friend for this reason.. The type who buys you drinks, refills your drinks, buys you shots.. really when I stay sober we don't have much fun.

And NO MORE SHOTS for me.. EVER!.. Shots are meant to get you drunk. I'm only in it for the buzz.. Next time someone buys me a shot, I'm refusing, unless and ONLY if its a birthday... Only red wine and a healthy Guinness from now on.

I've set new drinking rules for myself, which also include not drinking before 10 pm, no shots, no more than 3 drinks a day during the week, 6 max on weekend.. Moderation is hard to accomplish when you have binge drinking friends.

pandora · April 2010

LikeAnOcean wrote:

It's so true about your friends influencing your drinking habits. I've been avoiding a good friend for this reason.. The type who buys you drinks, refills your drinks, buys you shots.. really when I stay sober we don't have much fun.

And NO MORE SHOTS for me.. EVER!.. Shots are meant to get you drunk. I'm only in it for the buzz.. Next time someone buys me a shot, I'm refusing, unless and ONLY if its a birthday... Only red wine and a healthy Guinness from now on.

I've set new drinking rules for myself, which also include not drinking before 10 pm, no shots, no more than 3 drinks a day during the week, 6 max on weekend.. Moderation is hard to accomplish when you have binge drinking friends.

Well now I know I'm really really old

I had to read the no drinking before 10pm rule quite a few times before that sunk in

we are about done at that time! so I can guarantee that rule will probably change but the no shot is the key to a lifetime of drinking without regret.

LikeAnOcean · April 2010

pandora wrote:

LikeAnOcean wrote:

It's so true about your friends influencing your drinking habits. I've been avoiding a good friend for this reason.. The type who buys you drinks, refills your drinks, buys you shots.. really when I stay sober we don't have much fun.

And NO MORE SHOTS for me.. EVER!.. Shots are meant to get you drunk. I'm only in it for the buzz.. Next time someone buys me a shot, I'm refusing, unless and ONLY if its a birthday... Only red wine and a healthy Guinness from now on.

I've set new drinking rules for myself, which also include not drinking before 10 pm, no shots, no more than 3 drinks a day during the week, 6 max on weekend.. Moderation is hard to accomplish when you have binge drinking friends.

Well now I know I'm really really old I had to read the no drinking before 10pm rule quite a few times before that sunk in we are about done at that time! so I can guarantee that rule will probably change but the no shot is the key to a lifetime of drinking without regret.

lol, well I'm 31.. not sure what is considered "old" here.. I figure, to keep it under six drinks and be out until the bar closes, this is the good time to start.

pandora · April 2010

LikeAnOcean wrote:

pandora wrote:

LikeAnOcean wrote:

It's so true about your friends influencing your drinking habits. I've been avoiding a good friend for this reason.. The type who buys you drinks, refills your drinks, buys you shots.. really when I stay sober we don't have much fun.

And NO MORE SHOTS for me.. EVER!.. Shots are meant to get you drunk. I'm only in it for the buzz.. Next time someone buys me a shot, I'm refusing, unless and ONLY if its a birthday... Only red wine and a healthy Guinness from now on.

I've set new drinking rules for myself, which also include not drinking before 10 pm, no shots, no more than 3 drinks a day during the week, 6 max on weekend.. Moderation is hard to accomplish when you have binge drinking friends.

Well now I know I'm really really old I had to read the no drinking before 10pm rule quite a few times before that sunk in we are about done at that time! so I can guarantee that rule will probably change but the no shot is the key to a lifetime of drinking without regret.

lol, well I'm 31.. not sure what is considered "old" here.. I figure, to keep it under six drinks and be out until the bar closes, this is the good time to start.

54 is considered old everywhere

but if I take a disco nap I can maybe make it til the wee hours with the best of them but I did think that pretty funny

dcfaithful · April 2010

he still stands wrote:

Instead of drinking I "smoke" once a week

Cigs, pot.........crack? just teasin'

Thoughts_Arrive · April 2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zw3FTiWRXF8

CAVSTARR313 · April 2010

dcfaithful wrote:

he still stands wrote:

Instead of drinking I "smoke" once a week

Cigs, pot.........crack? just teasin'

Crack might help

Everyone seems so supportive.. I dig that.. PJ fans are the shit boy!!!

michelleelise · April 2010

How about coffee shops? I used to hang out at one that was opened by a former alcoholic so he and his friends would have someplace to go besides a bar. Most of the ones in my neighborhood also have live music. Of course, everyone there is addicted to coffee

But at least you don't feel that pressure to drink.

I've sometimes gone for months without drinking. Not because of drinking problems, but sometimes I get to feeling like it's wasting too much of my money and I'm being lazy. If I have a drink after work, I know I won't go out cycling or hiking that evening, I'll either end up staying at happy hour or I'll go home and watch TV, which makes me feel pretty lame. The good thing is that once you find a new activity you like, you end up meeting all new people and it gets much easier to stick with it

dcfaithful · April 2010

Cavstarr313 wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

he still stands wrote:

Instead of drinking I "smoke" once a week

Cigs, pot.........crack? just teasin'

Crack might help Everyone seems so supportive.. I dig that.. PJ fans are the shit boy!!!

Of course we're supportive.

What is more annoying than a "friend" ridiculing you because you won't have a drink after you told him your desires to take it easy?

in other words, some of my friends. :roll:

oona left · April 2010

I stopped drinking at one point.

I really did feel like an outsider when I was around people who were drinking when I wasn't. For one thing, they thought mildly humorless things were hilarious!! That alone can create some feelings of alienation.

It took a while, but I did get used to the scenario (I avoided it for a stretch, to see if my comfort would change, and it did). I no longer feel "outside" the fun, so to speak.

However, there comes point in their drunkenness where I can no longer tolerate them. It is then that I take my leave. No hard feelings.

Heatherj43 · April 2010

AA or NA are programs to help you stay sober, but bigger than that, they offer a great social network and keeps you busy.
I have heard some people say at meetings that they are not there for socializing when in fact, it has to be the biggest thing the 12 step programs offer.
It takes a little while to get to know people, just like it does in any other part of life, but there are people there just like you. Give it time and you will find a whole group of people to enjoy life with and doing things that don't revolve around drinking or drugs.

mca47 · April 2010

I'm having me a Jack and Coke right now.

Mmmm.

Been a long week...

Lauri · April 2010

haha I've been wishing I could drink more on the weekends

.

mickeyrat · April 2010

eyedclaar wrote:

Alcohol is a blessing from the gods. However, like with any gift from on high, mortals are all too often consumed with greed and thus a blessing becomes a curse. Or, their robot brains just aren't wired properly for booze.

this is me. "I" robot!!!

CAVSTARR313 · April 2010

mca47 wrote:

I'm having me a Jack and Coke right now.

Mmmm.

Been a long week...

Dick

JaneNY · April 2010

For those who don't think they can give up drink, here's some inspiration:

Henry's as badass as they come, and straight edge.

I don't drink because I like to keep my wits about me at all times. And I work out a lot and have friends there. So yeah, cultivate friends who aren't into drinking.

Being sober is difficult

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