Being sober is difficult

CAVSTARR313

So on March 29 I decided to quit drinking for a while.. I have been a "go to the bar after work" kinda guy for a while and I would always drink like mad on the weekends for sure.. I have been working out and feeling good lately ( i felt like hell normally for the past x years). The problem is i am having trouble hanging out with all my friends and even going to band practice with my one band because they all drink. And don't get me wrong, i am not Anti in anyway, i just get tempted. So basically i find my self getting really bored and feeling alone a lot. Anyone goy any ideas of fun things to do that don't involve drinking on the weekends???

catefrances

funny you should say that.. i decided at the beginning of this week to get on the wagon. i dont have your problem of bandmates who drink but today whilst out shopping i was thinking oh no i wont go to the bottleshop here ill wait til i get home then ill go down later, itll be a good excuse for a walk. then i realised what i was doing. seeing bands live will be a test and so will staying up late at night. i havent decided whether its good thing im doing yet but well see how i go this time.

sorry no ideas on how not to drink aside from staying asleep.

JDB

Play sports or watch porn.

MC170228

Try AA. It is a NO obligation engagement. You can learn a lot and get some hope and strength from others. It is extremely beneficial to be around these people if you are having these kinds of thoughts. You also do not need to be an alcoholic to go. It's free and there is a meeting almost every hour on the hour in most major cities.
http://www.aa.org/lang/en/meeting_finde ... rigpage=29
This was very beneficial to me. I wen to NA because booze was not my problem. But they follow the exact same program. It is not a cult, but does follow a spiritual program. No religion is necessary. Many Atheists are members. No two meetings are the same EVER. This is just a tool for you to use. I hope it serves you well.

LikeAnOcean

I'm in the same boat, at least, I'm trying to cut back. I was averaging four drinks a day during the week and 6+ on weekend nights.. I've managed to cut it to only two drinks right before bed, otherwise I get really bad insomnia.. I also plan on drinking lighter beers with lower alcohol content when I go to the bar from now on.

dcfaithful

I think the hardest thing for me would be to not crack one when getting home after work.

Stay strong though, like you said...you're not anti. Are you cutting back, or trying to kick it indefinitely?

CAVSTARR313

dcfaithful wrote:

I think the hardest thing for me would be to not crack one when getting home after work.

Stay strong though, like you said...you're not anti. Are you cutting back, or trying to kick it indefinitely?

Quit indefinitely.. But i did say i will have a beer or two when i go to Cleveland for PJ.. After that, I don't know.. I do enjoy the way i have been feeling the past 18 days

CAVSTARR313

JDB wrote:

Play sports or watch porn.

I do play basketball and i love me some porn

_

I've never been in your shoes, but I've had a boyfriend who was, including the band problem. It was hard, but he was successful in the end. One thing he did was ask his bandmates to not drink in front of him at practice. Of course all the gigs were still at bars, but once his friends (including some of the bartenders at the music venues) knew about his efforts they were mostly supportive and that helped. Then, instead of feeling pressure to drink, he felt pressure to stick to his goal since everyone knew about it. Off the top of my head, some things to do that don't involve drinking are: movies, hiking, sports.... okay, that's all I've got. Most other things can involve drinking (or not), especially depending on your friends. Also, I think there's a thread around here for people who are trying to quit drinking. There seem to be some really wise people there.

Mostly I wanted to just say that I know you can do it if you set your mind to it! Good luck!

_

Cavstarr313 wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

I think the hardest thing for me would be to not crack one when getting home after work.

Stay strong though, like you said...you're not anti. Are you cutting back, or trying to kick it indefinitely?

Quit indefinitely.. But i did say i will have a beer or two when i go to Cleveland for PJ.. After that, I don't know.. I do enjoy the way i have been feeling the past 18 days

I also think it can help to replace your old habits with new, healthier ones. Like, maybe go for a run after work instead of having a drink. Or something.

dcfaithful

Cavstarr313 wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

I think the hardest thing for me would be to not crack one when getting home after work.

Stay strong though, like you said...you're not anti. Are you cutting back, or trying to kick it indefinitely?

Quit indefinitely.. But i did say i will have a beer or two when i go to Cleveland for PJ.. After that, I don't know.. I do enjoy the way i have been feeling the past 18 days

Yeah, it is nice to basically de-tox your body of that stuff. Makes you feel a lot more...clean, I guess.

I hate to play devil's advocate here, but a beer in PJ wouldn't be terrible. Life is about rewarding yourself, but keeping it in moderation.

LikeAnOcean

dcfaithful wrote:

Yeah, it is nice to basically de-tox your body of that stuff. Makes you feel a lot more...clean, I guess.

I hate to play devil's advocate here, but a beer in PJ wouldn't be terrible. Life is about rewarding yourself, but keeping it in moderation.

This is true.. 1 to 3 drinks (moderation) is actually healthier than no drinks, better yet if its red wine.

I guess many have a hard time stopping once they start though. Seems like some people can only binge or go cold turkey.

CAVSTARR313

scb wrote:

Cavstarr313 wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

I think the hardest thing for me would be to not crack one when getting home after work.

Stay strong though, like you said...you're not anti. Are you cutting back, or trying to kick it indefinitely?

Quit indefinitely.. But i did say i will have a beer or two when i go to Cleveland for PJ.. After that, I don't know.. I do enjoy the way i have been feeling the past 18 days

I also think it can help to replace your old habits with new, healthier ones. Like, maybe go for a run after work instead of having a drink. Or something.

I have been riding my bike after work most days, weather permitting... but it is the 10 o' clock on a saturday night that is killing me.. Last saturday night, i walked to the post office to deposit outgoing mail in their mailbox.. thats it!!! i came home and watched Naked Gun.. Alone!! this is not how i pictured my life

the wolf

Cavstarr313 wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

I think the hardest thing for me would be to not crack one when getting home after work.

Stay strong though, like you said...you're not anti. Are you cutting back, or trying to kick it indefinitely?

Quit indefinitely.. But i did say i will have a beer or two when i go to Cleveland for PJ.. After that, I don't know.. I do enjoy the way i have been feeling the past 18 days

my only advice, if you think you may have a problem and want to quit. Don't do the beer at the PJ show.

I went almost 50 days without drinking. It was pretty easy too. Decided to drink one weekend that was sort of a "special" weekend and fell back in. I'm now drinking more than I ever have.

If not drinking is something you really want, I wouldn't do the beer at the show. I'm sure PJ will understand.

he still stands

I decided to drink less a few months ago. Instead of drinking I "smoke" once a week, at most, usually less. It is so much better spiritually and physically. Alcohol is poison... what a shit drug. I still have a drink or two (literally, no more than 2) now and then but I surround myself with people who are not big drinkers. That is important.

I go kayaking and rock climbing a few times per week. Last night I ran a few miles and went to see a movie with a cute girl. This weekend I have my son so that'll be great!

Life is SO much better without alcohol. I don't know if you believe in karma but in my experience it exists. Physicists call it "quantum entanglement." Treat your body better, do better things for yourself and for others, and life will deal you some better cards!

eyedclaar

Alcohol is a blessing from the gods. However, like with any gift from on high, mortals are all too often consumed with greed and thus a blessing becomes a curse. Or, their robot brains just aren't wired properly for booze.

Satans Red Mosquito

I gave up weed about a month ago, and I used to smoke at least twice a day, but on average 4 times a day. I was a pot head in the truest sense of the word. I gave it up, because I was fat, out of shape, a junkie, and knew I needed to save up for the tour. The first two weeks were brutal. I was depressed all the time, bored to fucking tears. I hated life, I saw it as a boring day to day suck fest. I was a total dick to my girlfriend, but then I realized either I can live in misery or I can find the good in life, and I went with the latter. Don't give up, man.

eyedclaar

Satans Red Mosquito wrote:

I gave up weed about a month ago, and I used to smoke at least twice a day, but on average 4 times a day. I was a pot head in the truest sense of the word. I gave it up, because I was fat, out of shape, a junkie, and knew I needed to save up for the tour. The first two weeks were brutal. I was depressed all the time, bored to fucking tears. I hated life, I saw it as a boring day to day suck fest. I was a total dick to my girlfriend, but then I realized either I can live in misery or I can find the good in life, and I went with the latter. Don't give up, man.

Interesting. I smoke more than that and I don't have any of those problems. I'm fit, active, artistic, mentally engaged, and happy (well, happy for me is a relative term).

JonnyPistachio

Hey man, I'm in almost the same situation as you, except my band doesnt really drink much. I just started drinking hot tea during rehearsals becasue my throat was hurting a bit. Now thats all i drink. I also started working out a bit and have felt better than ever. I used to drink 3-4 mights a week, but now I just feel like its ruining all the work i do to stay healthy.

Dont get me wrong, i still have drinks with my g/f and the guys every now and then...
ultimately, i never understood the whole "dont drink around me" mentality. let others do what they want and make your own path.

Kevinman

Nobody likes a quitter.


Just kidding, good luck, I couldn't do it.

chadwick

smoke some easy does it.
drinking... not so much fun.

HeavyHands

Keep up with an exercise regimen. Hiking, mountain biking, running, etc... All of those are activities you can do alone or with others. For example, look into joining a local club centered around activities that don't take place at a bar like a cycling club. You'll get to enjoy the outdoors, and meet new people outside of your current circle.

If you're computer inclined at all you should make a spread sheet to track how much you spend on alcohol. The annual amount might open your eyes. Then, when you look back on the past year, you might think to yourself "For the amount I spent on alcohol I could've bought a super new tv, really nice mountain bike, donated to charity, taken an amazing vacation, improved my house, etc..." It's surprising how quickly it adds up.

Best of luck with your efforts.

HeavyHands

P.S. Do you have a goal in mind, or are you doing this kind of arbitrarily/ just for a change? The issue is: If you don't have a goal with your actions, you won't know when you've reached your goal and may become dismayed and fall back into old, unhealthy habits.

pandora

Cavstarr313 wrote:

So on March 29 I decided to quit drinking for a while.. I have been a "go to the bar after work" kinda guy for a while and I would always drink like mad on the weekends for sure.. I have been working out and feeling good lately ( i felt like hell normally for the past x years). The problem is i am having trouble hanging out with all my friends and even going to band practice with my one band because they all drink. And don't get me wrong, i am not Anti in anyway, i just get tempted. So basically i find my self getting really bored and feeling alone a lot. Anyone goy any ideas of fun things to do that don't involve drinking on the weekends???

I've found people do things out of need and a lot of our habits are set by midlife, which I'll call 35 and often influenced by what we saw as kids, things out of our control.
If you NEED to quit drinking because its causing trouble in your life it will most likely stick, either with your efforts or the help you will seek.
If you NEED to drink because it is a habit you enjoy, a stress reliever, entertainment or a mutual lifestyle with your significant others you will probably return to drink or never quit in the first place.
Its not a lot of fun to be sober around drunks this I know I carried 2 children and of course didn't drink. I felt bored, agitated and very disconnected, not a fun night out. Its best to seek sober friends if you are feeling unfulfilled.
So I guess it will come down to your needs and time will tell what's right for you. Try the nonalcoholic beer too that might help a little.

Claireack

I gave up drinking for years, just because I used to get a little out of control really, not nasty out of control, just stupid. I guess the fact that I felt out of control scared me a bit.

In all that time I just carried on as normal, went out with friends etc. I tended to always be the designated driver. I still had a good time but because I was still doing the same stuff I never felt deprived of anything.

About 10 years ago I started having the occasional drink again, I rarely drink during the week, but occasionally at the weekends I'll have a bit of a blow out (and because I'm not a regular drinker, it takes bugger all to make me drunk).

I guess just try and keep busy and keep doing the things you enjoy but without the alcohol.

Anyway, that's probably not much help, but good luck.

Ms. Wes C.addle

I can honestly say that I feel great about chosing to not drink. I am a total binge drinker. Vodka is my best friend in the world.... he understands me!

After way too many bad choices and feeling guilty when having a cocktail or two, then trying to supress those feelings with more, I made the decision to just stop. It was contributing NOTHING to my life or relationships with those close to me.

I try to stay very busy- writing, music, movies, pretty much living outdoors, swimming, biking. I think if I had a partner to go through the sobriety with, things would be easier. Sometimes I feel like my life is so completely lame- not going out and socializing... but sometimes we form false relationships with people due to the alcohol aspect. I think you realize who your friends truly are and if you really had anything in common with them besides the mutual attraction to getting shit-faced.

I have drank twice since Jan 1st and hate myself for not being strong enough to stick it out and stay sober. The beginning of the year was a complete overhaul- no drinking, drugs, smoking or coffee. And, having so much stress in my life, this has not been easy at all. I am proud of my sobriety but can't stand to be around people that are drinking- even to talk to some of them, hearing them drown their sorrows, its sickening. Life is much too short. At least it instills in me the fact that I have made the right decision for myself. It sometimes is waaaay too much of a crutch for people. An excuse.

But, I don't mean to preach..... I miss my friend, Mr. Goose, every weekend. Best of luck to you! There is nothing wrong with still socializing in pools of liquor... just make up your mind and stick to it. Reward yourself in some way for staying strong.

LikeAnOcean

It's so true about your friends influencing your drinking habits. I've been avoiding a good friend for this reason.. The type who buys you drinks, refills your drinks, buys you shots.. really when I stay sober we don't have much fun.


And NO MORE SHOTS for me.. EVER!.. Shots are meant to get you drunk. I'm only in it for the buzz.. Next time someone buys me a shot, I'm refusing, unless and ONLY if its a birthday... Only red wine and a healthy Guinness from now on.

I've set new drinking rules for myself, which also include not drinking before 10 pm, no shots, no more than 3 drinks a day during the week, 6 max on weekend.. Moderation is hard to accomplish when you have binge drinking friends.

pandora

LikeAnOcean wrote:

It's so true about your friends influencing your drinking habits. I've been avoiding a good friend for this reason.. The type who buys you drinks, refills your drinks, buys you shots.. really when I stay sober we don't have much fun.


And NO MORE SHOTS for me.. EVER!.. Shots are meant to get you drunk. I'm only in it for the buzz.. Next time someone buys me a shot, I'm refusing, unless and ONLY if its a birthday... Only red wine and a healthy Guinness from now on.

I've set new drinking rules for myself, which also include not drinking before 10 pm, no shots, no more than 3 drinks a day during the week, 6 max on weekend.. Moderation is hard to accomplish when you have binge drinking friends.

Well now I know I'm really really old I had to read the no drinking before 10pm rule quite a few times before that sunk in we are about done at that time! so I can guarantee that rule will probably change but the no shot is the key to a lifetime of drinking without regret.

LikeAnOcean

pandora wrote:

LikeAnOcean wrote:

It's so true about your friends influencing your drinking habits. I've been avoiding a good friend for this reason.. The type who buys you drinks, refills your drinks, buys you shots.. really when I stay sober we don't have much fun.


And NO MORE SHOTS for me.. EVER!.. Shots are meant to get you drunk. I'm only in it for the buzz.. Next time someone buys me a shot, I'm refusing, unless and ONLY if its a birthday... Only red wine and a healthy Guinness from now on.

I've set new drinking rules for myself, which also include not drinking before 10 pm, no shots, no more than 3 drinks a day during the week, 6 max on weekend.. Moderation is hard to accomplish when you have binge drinking friends.

Well now I know I'm really really old I had to read the no drinking before 10pm rule quite a few times before that sunk in we are about done at that time! so I can guarantee that rule will probably change but the no shot is the key to a lifetime of drinking without regret.

lol, well I'm 31.. not sure what is considered "old" here.. I figure, to keep it under six drinks and be out until the bar closes, this is the good time to start.

pandora

LikeAnOcean wrote:

pandora wrote:

LikeAnOcean wrote:

It's so true about your friends influencing your drinking habits. I've been avoiding a good friend for this reason.. The type who buys you drinks, refills your drinks, buys you shots.. really when I stay sober we don't have much fun.


And NO MORE SHOTS for me.. EVER!.. Shots are meant to get you drunk. I'm only in it for the buzz.. Next time someone buys me a shot, I'm refusing, unless and ONLY if its a birthday... Only red wine and a healthy Guinness from now on.

I've set new drinking rules for myself, which also include not drinking before 10 pm, no shots, no more than 3 drinks a day during the week, 6 max on weekend.. Moderation is hard to accomplish when you have binge drinking friends.

Well now I know I'm really really old I had to read the no drinking before 10pm rule quite a few times before that sunk in we are about done at that time! so I can guarantee that rule will probably change but the no shot is the key to a lifetime of drinking without regret.

lol, well I'm 31.. not sure what is considered "old" here.. I figure, to keep it under six drinks and be out until the bar closes, this is the good time to start.

54 is considered old everywhere but if I take a disco nap I can maybe make it til the wee hours with the best of them but I did think that pretty funny

dcfaithful

he still stands wrote:

Instead of drinking I "smoke" once a week

Cigs, pot.........crack? just teasin'

Thoughts_Arrive

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zw3FTiWRXF8