Being sober is difficult

CAVSTARR313

So on March 29 I decided to quit drinking for a while.. I have been a "go to the bar after work" kinda guy for a while and I would always drink like mad on the weekends for sure.. I have been working out and feeling good lately ( i felt like hell normally for the past x years). The problem is i am having trouble hanging out with all my friends and even going to band practice with my one band because they all drink. And don't get me wrong, i am not Anti in anyway, i just get tempted. So basically i find my self getting really bored and feeling alone a lot. Anyone goy any ideas of fun things to do that don't involve drinking on the weekends???

catefrances

funny you should say that.. i decided at the beginning of this week to get on the wagon. i dont have your problem of bandmates who drink but today whilst out shopping i was thinking oh no i wont go to the bottleshop here ill wait til i get home then ill go down later, itll be a good excuse for a walk. then i realised what i was doing. seeing bands live will be a test and so will staying up late at night. i havent decided whether its good thing im doing yet but well see how i go this time.

sorry no ideas on how not to drink aside from staying asleep.

JDB

Play sports or watch porn.

MC170228

Try AA. It is a NO obligation engagement. You can learn a lot and get some hope and strength from others. It is extremely beneficial to be around these people if you are having these kinds of thoughts. You also do not need to be an alcoholic to go. It's free and there is a meeting almost every hour on the hour in most major cities.
http://www.aa.org/lang/en/meeting_finde ... rigpage=29
This was very beneficial to me. I wen to NA because booze was not my problem. But they follow the exact same program. It is not a cult, but does follow a spiritual program. No religion is necessary. Many Atheists are members. No two meetings are the same EVER. This is just a tool for you to use. I hope it serves you well.

LikeAnOcean

I'm in the same boat, at least, I'm trying to cut back. I was averaging four drinks a day during the week and 6+ on weekend nights.. I've managed to cut it to only two drinks right before bed, otherwise I get really bad insomnia.. I also plan on drinking lighter beers with lower alcohol content when I go to the bar from now on.

dcfaithful

I think the hardest thing for me would be to not crack one when getting home after work.

Stay strong though, like you said...you're not anti. Are you cutting back, or trying to kick it indefinitely?

CAVSTARR313

dcfaithful wrote:

I think the hardest thing for me would be to not crack one when getting home after work.

Stay strong though, like you said...you're not anti. Are you cutting back, or trying to kick it indefinitely?

Quit indefinitely.. But i did say i will have a beer or two when i go to Cleveland for PJ.. After that, I don't know.. I do enjoy the way i have been feeling the past 18 days

CAVSTARR313

JDB wrote:

Play sports or watch porn.

I do play basketball and i love me some porn

_

I've never been in your shoes, but I've had a boyfriend who was, including the band problem. It was hard, but he was successful in the end. One thing he did was ask his bandmates to not drink in front of him at practice. Of course all the gigs were still at bars, but once his friends (including some of the bartenders at the music venues) knew about his efforts they were mostly supportive and that helped. Then, instead of feeling pressure to drink, he felt pressure to stick to his goal since everyone knew about it. Off the top of my head, some things to do that don't involve drinking are: movies, hiking, sports.... okay, that's all I've got. Most other things can involve drinking (or not), especially depending on your friends. Also, I think there's a thread around here for people who are trying to quit drinking. There seem to be some really wise people there.

Mostly I wanted to just say that I know you can do it if you set your mind to it! Good luck!

_

Cavstarr313 wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

I think the hardest thing for me would be to not crack one when getting home after work.

Stay strong though, like you said...you're not anti. Are you cutting back, or trying to kick it indefinitely?

Quit indefinitely.. But i did say i will have a beer or two when i go to Cleveland for PJ.. After that, I don't know.. I do enjoy the way i have been feeling the past 18 days

I also think it can help to replace your old habits with new, healthier ones. Like, maybe go for a run after work instead of having a drink. Or something.

dcfaithful

Cavstarr313 wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

I think the hardest thing for me would be to not crack one when getting home after work.

Stay strong though, like you said...you're not anti. Are you cutting back, or trying to kick it indefinitely?

Quit indefinitely.. But i did say i will have a beer or two when i go to Cleveland for PJ.. After that, I don't know.. I do enjoy the way i have been feeling the past 18 days

Yeah, it is nice to basically de-tox your body of that stuff. Makes you feel a lot more...clean, I guess.

I hate to play devil's advocate here, but a beer in PJ wouldn't be terrible. Life is about rewarding yourself, but keeping it in moderation.

LikeAnOcean

dcfaithful wrote:

Yeah, it is nice to basically de-tox your body of that stuff. Makes you feel a lot more...clean, I guess.

I hate to play devil's advocate here, but a beer in PJ wouldn't be terrible. Life is about rewarding yourself, but keeping it in moderation.

This is true.. 1 to 3 drinks (moderation) is actually healthier than no drinks, better yet if its red wine.

I guess many have a hard time stopping once they start though. Seems like some people can only binge or go cold turkey.

CAVSTARR313

scb wrote:

Cavstarr313 wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

I think the hardest thing for me would be to not crack one when getting home after work.

Stay strong though, like you said...you're not anti. Are you cutting back, or trying to kick it indefinitely?

Quit indefinitely.. But i did say i will have a beer or two when i go to Cleveland for PJ.. After that, I don't know.. I do enjoy the way i have been feeling the past 18 days

I also think it can help to replace your old habits with new, healthier ones. Like, maybe go for a run after work instead of having a drink. Or something.

I have been riding my bike after work most days, weather permitting... but it is the 10 o' clock on a saturday night that is killing me.. Last saturday night, i walked to the post office to deposit outgoing mail in their mailbox.. thats it!!! i came home and watched Naked Gun.. Alone!! this is not how i pictured my life

the wolf

Cavstarr313 wrote:

dcfaithful wrote:

I think the hardest thing for me would be to not crack one when getting home after work.

Stay strong though, like you said...you're not anti. Are you cutting back, or trying to kick it indefinitely?

Quit indefinitely.. But i did say i will have a beer or two when i go to Cleveland for PJ.. After that, I don't know.. I do enjoy the way i have been feeling the past 18 days

my only advice, if you think you may have a problem and want to quit. Don't do the beer at the PJ show.

I went almost 50 days without drinking. It was pretty easy too. Decided to drink one weekend that was sort of a "special" weekend and fell back in. I'm now drinking more than I ever have.

If not drinking is something you really want, I wouldn't do the beer at the show. I'm sure PJ will understand.

he still stands

I decided to drink less a few months ago. Instead of drinking I "smoke" once a week, at most, usually less. It is so much better spiritually and physically. Alcohol is poison... what a shit drug. I still have a drink or two (literally, no more than 2) now and then but I surround myself with people who are not big drinkers. That is important.

I go kayaking and rock climbing a few times per week. Last night I ran a few miles and went to see a movie with a cute girl. This weekend I have my son so that'll be great!

Life is SO much better without alcohol. I don't know if you believe in karma but in my experience it exists. Physicists call it "quantum entanglement." Treat your body better, do better things for yourself and for others, and life will deal you some better cards!

eyedclaar

Alcohol is a blessing from the gods. However, like with any gift from on high, mortals are all too often consumed with greed and thus a blessing becomes a curse. Or, their robot brains just aren't wired properly for booze.

Satans Red Mosquito

I gave up weed about a month ago, and I used to smoke at least twice a day, but on average 4 times a day. I was a pot head in the truest sense of the word. I gave it up, because I was fat, out of shape, a junkie, and knew I needed to save up for the tour. The first two weeks were brutal. I was depressed all the time, bored to fucking tears. I hated life, I saw it as a boring day to day suck fest. I was a total dick to my girlfriend, but then I realized either I can live in misery or I can find the good in life, and I went with the latter. Don't give up, man.

eyedclaar

Satans Red Mosquito wrote:

I gave up weed about a month ago, and I used to smoke at least twice a day, but on average 4 times a day. I was a pot head in the truest sense of the word. I gave it up, because I was fat, out of shape, a junkie, and knew I needed to save up for the tour. The first two weeks were brutal. I was depressed all the time, bored to fucking tears. I hated life, I saw it as a boring day to day suck fest. I was a total dick to my girlfriend, but then I realized either I can live in misery or I can find the good in life, and I went with the latter. Don't give up, man.

Interesting. I smoke more than that and I don't have any of those problems. I'm fit, active, artistic, mentally engaged, and happy (well, happy for me is a relative term).

JonnyPistachio

Hey man, I'm in almost the same situation as you, except my band doesnt really drink much. I just started drinking hot tea during rehearsals becasue my throat was hurting a bit. Now thats all i drink. I also started working out a bit and have felt better than ever. I used to drink 3-4 mights a week, but now I just feel like its ruining all the work i do to stay healthy.

Dont get me wrong, i still have drinks with my g/f and the guys every now and then...
ultimately, i never understood the whole "dont drink around me" mentality. let others do what they want and make your own path.

Kevinman

Nobody likes a quitter.


Just kidding, good luck, I couldn't do it.

chadwick

smoke some easy does it.
drinking... not so much fun.