Most ridiculous lyrics?

gabers · February 2010

My vote goes to Das Schutzenfest by Faith No More. Thanks Youtube for filling in the blanks in German. I know some but not all of the missing English lyrics. Please correct if you're fluent in German!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNha3e_FNnI

["The Shooting Match"]

We went to the shooting-match,
Speaking for myself,
She looks like a german girl

Black-brown is the hazelnut
Black-brown is her hair

Oh my Bavarian girl, days ????
Lie down, shit, of course not with him
The shooting-match, never seen again

We're making love in the pigs trough
My trousers are exploding because of my dick
She thought I was a ???
Her ??? was like an ice-bone.

Oh my Bavarian girl, days ????
Lie down, shit, of course not with him
The shooting-match, never seen again

Oh... bell... yes yes.. Dog... Dog away
Dog away, Asshole... DOG AWAY

She makes a white-sausage out of my dick
She's dancing ????? and Shoe-plattler
Her arm pit was fresh and smelled like
Summer morning... summer morning

Oh girl ??????? her bra,
Shit, weekend! but not with her
The shooting-match, never seen again
... never seen again.

Und auf Deutsch...

Wir trafen dann
Zum offen Schutzenfest
Fur mich sieht sie aus
Wie Heinos Schwester

Schwarzbraun ist die Haselnuss
Schwarzgebraunt ist war ihr Haar

Oh mein Bayrisches Madchen, tage bloss hin hervor weissen
Leg dich auch hin, wir scheissen eben nicht mit dem
Das Schutzenfest, niemals mehr gesehen.

Wir machen Liebe
Im Schweinetrog
Meine Hosen platzen
Auf mein Dudelschwanz

Sie dachte ich war ein dandy
und Ihre wade waren wie Eisbein

Oh Madchen, tage bloss hin
Leg dich auch hin, wir scheissen eben nicht mit dem
Das Schutzenfest, niemals mehr gesehen.

Oh Klingel..... Ja Ja... Hund!.... Hund weg !....
Hund weg, Arschloch... HUND WEG!

Sie machte aus meinem Hurz, eine weisse Wurst
Sie tanzt ute-ut und Schuheplattler
Achselhohle war frisch und duften wie
Sommer morgen, Sommer morgen

Super!

Oh Madchen, tat mir ans
Superlochwel ihren BH Wochenende,
Scheisse aber nicht mit der
Das Schutzenfest
Niemals mehr gesehen,
Niemals mehr gesehen

But of course this was intentionally ridiculous, I was referring to more of the unintentionally ridiculous.

SCMike10 · February 2010

"Only time will tell if we stand the test of time"- Why Can't This Be Love? by Van Halen. :roll:

BinFrog · February 2010

The worst rock lyrics ever, and I will maintain this until the day I die, is Eve 6's "Inside Out". It is the WORST attempt at sounding "deep" I have ever heard. At least with Nickelback or other terrible bands, you know they are a joke. This freaking song makes me want to gouge my ears out whenever I hear it. He's trying so hard to come up with these witty and creative lines one after another and each one falls so short it's not even funny. Ugh:

I would swallow my pride
I would choke on the rinds
But the lack there of would leave me empty inside
Swallow my doubt
Turn it inside out
Find nothing but faith in nothing
Want to put my tender
Heart it in a blender
Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion
Rendezvous then I'm through with you

I burn burn like a wicker cabinet
Chalk white and oh so frail
I see our time has gotten stale
The tick tock of the clock is painful
All sane and logical
I want to tear it off the wall

I hear words in clips and phrases
I think sick like ginger ale
My stomach turns and I exhale

I would swallow my pride
I would choke on the rinds
But the lack there of would leave me empty inside
I would swallow my doubt
Turn it inside out
Find nothing but faith in nothing
Want to put my tender
Heart it in a blender
Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion
Rendezvous then I'm through with you

So Cal is where my mind states
But its not my state of mind
I'm not as ugly sad as you
Or am I origami
Folded up and just pretend
Demented as the motives in your head

I would swallow my pride
I would choke on the rinds
But the lack there of would leave me empty inside
I would swallow my doubt
Turn it inside out
Find nothing but faith in nothing
Want to put my tender
Heart it in a blender
Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion
Rendezvous then I'm through with you

(bridge)
I alone
Am the one you don't
Know you need
Take heed feed your ego
Make me blind
When your eyes
Close sink when you get close
Tie me to the bedpost
I alone
Am the one you dont
Know you need no you don't
Make me blind
When your eyes close
Tie me to the bedpost

I would swallow my pride
I would choke on the rinds
But the lack there of would leave me empty inside
I would swallow my doubt
Turn it inside out
Find nothing but faith in nothing
Want to put my tender
Heart it in a blender
Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion
Rendezvous then I'm through with you
Now im through with you

Through with you
Rendezvous then I'm through with you

gabers · February 2010

BinFrog wrote:

The worst rock lyrics ever, and I will maintain this until the day I die, is Eve 6's "Inside Out". It is the WORST attempt at sounding "deep" I have ever heard. At least with Nickelback or other terrible bands, you know they are a joke. This freaking song makes me want to gouge my ears out whenever I hear it. He's trying so hard to come up with these witty and creative lines one after another and each one falls so short it's not even funny. Ugh:

**SHUDDERS**

Oh yeah, I have a special place in my heart for my digust in this band and song. So bad. Plus, the lead singer reminds me of the bully kid from A Christmas Story.

megatron · February 2010

She's such a tough enchilada.. filled up with nada . jj

this line makes me wanna punch you

Back_Pedal · February 2010

BinFrog wrote:

The worst rock lyrics ever, and I will maintain this until the day I die, is Eve 6's "Inside Out". It is the WORST attempt at sounding "deep" I have ever heard. At least with Nickelback or other terrible bands, you know they are a joke. This freaking song makes me want to gouge my ears out whenever I hear it. He's trying so hard to come up with these witty and creative lines one after another and each one falls so short it's not even funny. Ugh:

I'm not even sure if he was trying to make any kind of point in that song...wow.

PatrickBateman · February 2010

I couldnt get past 15 seconds of any of the songs from Body Count (Ice-T's "rock" band) complete cheese from the music to the lyrics to the production to the "singing". Horrendous

edit: so I went to copy and paste some of the lyrics and found out they made 3 more albums!

BALLBOY · February 2010

Has to Limp Bizkit's(anyone remember that crime against music) Nookie. " I did all for the Nookie so you can get a cookie & stick it up yer ass" Not much else to say.

youngster · February 2010

Everything Zen by Bush has the most godawful lyrics of all time:

There must be something we can eat
Maybe find another lover
Should I fly to Los Angeles
Find my asshole brother
Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow
Dave's on sale again
We kissy kiss in the rear view
We're so bored
You're to blame

Try to see it once my way
Everything zen
Everything zen
I don't think so

Raindogs howl for the century
A million dollars a stake
As you search for your demi-god
And you fake with a saint
There's no sex in your violence
There's no sex in your violence

Try to see it once my way
Everything zen
Everything zen
I don't think so

I don't believe that Elvis is dead
I don't believe that Elvis is dead
I don't believe that Elvis is, Elvis is

There's no sex in your violence

Stonerlady · February 2010

Oh I so agree with Das Schützenfest.
To be real honest: I don't know just one German who understands all the words. And neither do I. And it's sometimes no sense at all.

facepollution · February 2010

youngster wrote:

Everything Zen by Bush has the most godawful lyrics of all time

It's funny, as bad as they are, I still quite like the song :oops:

Not heard that Eve 6 song in years, but I remember thinking it was ok when it first came out.....

Pepe Silvia · February 2010

that dr dre song, keep your head ringin

'i know you're bobbin yer head cause i can see it'

pretty much any bush song

'the cupboard is empty, we really need food, summer is winter and you always knew'

house of pain

' i never eats a pig cause a pig is a cop or better yet a terminator, like arnold shwarzeniger, tryin to play me out as if my name was sega but i ain't goin out like no punk, bitch, get used to 1 style and yo, i might switch' it's especially funny because he never changes his style

Evacuation Rules · February 2010

BinFrog wrote:

The worst rock lyrics ever, and I will maintain this until the day I die, is Eve 6's "Inside Out". It is the WORST attempt at sounding "deep" I have ever heard. At least with Nickelback or other terrible bands, you know they are a joke. This freaking song makes me want to gouge my ears out whenever I hear it. He's trying so hard to come up with these witty and creative lines one after another and each one falls so short it's not even funny. Ugh:

Imagine some lame cover band playing it in front of the Spectrum while you're waiting for the doors to open.

That's what I think of now when I hear it.

glorified G is here · February 2010

Don't forget about "Whoomp, there it is" or " I'm Too Sexy (for this shirt) "

Lizard · February 2010

It has to be MacArthur Park!!!

someone left the cake out in the rain / I don't think that I can take it / 'cause it took so long to bake it / and I'll never have that recipe again .

WTF??!!!

mookeywrench · February 2010

king Missile - Detachable Penis

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again
This happens all the time
It's detachable
This comes in handy a lot of the time
I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble
Or I can rent it out when I don't need it

But now and then I go to a party
Get drunk
And the next morning I can't for the life of me
Remember what I did with it
First I looked around my apartment
And I couldn't find it
So I called up the place where the party was
They hadn't seen it either
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.

I called a few people who were at the party
But they were no help either
I was starting to get desperate
I really don't like being without my penis for too long
It makes me feel like less of a man
And I really hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak

After a few hours of searching the house
And calling everyone I could think of
I was starting to get very depressed
So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast.
Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place
Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street
I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven
Some guy was selling it
I had to buy it off him
He wanted 22 bucks but I talked him down to 17
I took it home
Washed it off
And put it back on
I was happy again
Complete
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached
But I don't know
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass
I like having a detachable penis

Got a hard hard head · February 2010

There was a song that made number one in the UK and everyone was raving about. Except me. I HATED it. And here's why

It was a theme she had
On a scheme he had
told in a foreign land
To take life on earth
To the second birth
and the man was in command
It was a flight on the wings
Of a young girls dreams
That flew too far away
And we could make the monster live again
Oh hands move and heart beat on
Now life will return in this electric storm
A prophecy for a fantasy
The curse of a vivid mind

Don't push too far
Your Dreams are china in your hand
Don't wish too hard
Because they may come true
And you can't help them
You don't know what you might
Have set upon yourself
China in your hand

Come from greed
Never born of the seed
Took life from a barren hand
On eyes wide
Like a child in the form of a man
A story told
A mind of his own
An omen for our time
We take a flight on the wings of fantasy
Then you push too far
And make your dreams reality
Yeah! china in your hand

But they're only dreams
And you shouldn't push too far

WTF!!!

eeriepadave · February 2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6a-AHLRoAw

I might have to go with Youngster and say Everything Zen by Bush also.

Micky Mouse has grown up a cow. WTF?????????

Pepe Silvia · February 2010

eeriepadave wrote:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6a-AHLRoAw

I might have to go with Youngster and say Everything Zen by Bush also.

Micky Mouse has grown up a cow. WTF?????????

while i am NOT defending Bush's lyrics i think that Micky Mouse has grown up a cow is kinda meaning a golden cow or whatever, like so many kids worship him. maybe worship is too strong, but like in Dogma, they say the micky mouseish character has become an icon for too many and i think at 1 point they refer to the character as a golden cow or something.

i think 99.999% of their songs have crappy lyrics but i think everything zen is 1 of their better ones, which still doesn't make it great. like 'there's no sex in your violence' i think is a comment on our culture and media being driven by sex and violence. look at most action movies; lots of explosions and the hero has sex with a girl with big tits.

i still say

the cupboard is empty, we really need food
summer is winter and you always knew

has got to be the worst Bush lyric that i can think of!

or maybe

i'm a machine head
from green to red
machine head
yeah

facepollution · February 2010

Pepe Silvia wrote:

[ like 'there's no sex in your violence' i think is a comment on our culture and media being driven by sex and violence. look at most action movies; lots of explosions and the hero has sex with a girl with big tits.

Hmm, I always thought that line was a blatant rip-off of the "sex is violent" line from Jane's Addiction's Ted Just Admit It - just something cool sounding to throw in there.

Pepe Silvia · February 2010

facepollution wrote:

Pepe Silvia wrote:

[ like 'there's no sex in your violence' i think is a comment on our culture and media being driven by sex and violence. look at most action movies; lots of explosions and the hero has sex with a girl with big tits.

Hmm, I always thought that line was a blatant rip-off of the "sex is violent" line from Jane's Addiction's Ted Just Admit It - just something cool sounding to throw in there.

it's possible i'm just reading way more into it. i didn't think of it until i noticed that line in dogma then i thought maybe it could have some actual meaning.

Most ridiculous lyrics?

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