Most ridiculous lyrics?

gabers

My vote goes to Das Schutzenfest by Faith No More. Thanks Youtube for filling in the blanks in German. I know some but not all of the missing English lyrics. Please correct if you're fluent in German!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNha3e_FNnI



["The Shooting Match"]

We went to the shooting-match,
Speaking for myself,
She looks like a german girl

Black-brown is the hazelnut
Black-brown is her hair

Oh my Bavarian girl, days ????
Lie down, shit, of course not with him
The shooting-match, never seen again

We're making love in the pigs trough
My trousers are exploding because of my dick
She thought I was a ???
Her ??? was like an ice-bone.

Oh my Bavarian girl, days ????
Lie down, shit, of course not with him
The shooting-match, never seen again

Oh... bell... yes yes.. Dog... Dog away
Dog away, Asshole... DOG AWAY

She makes a white-sausage out of my dick
She's dancing ????? and Shoe-plattler
Her arm pit was fresh and smelled like
Summer morning... summer morning

Oh girl ??????? her bra,
Shit, weekend! but not with her
The shooting-match, never seen again
... never seen again.

Und auf Deutsch...

Wir trafen dann
Zum offen Schutzenfest
Fur mich sieht sie aus
Wie Heinos Schwester

Schwarzbraun ist die Haselnuss
Schwarzgebraunt ist war ihr Haar

Oh mein Bayrisches Madchen, tage bloss hin hervor weissen
Leg dich auch hin, wir scheissen eben nicht mit dem
Das Schutzenfest, niemals mehr gesehen.

Wir machen Liebe
Im Schweinetrog
Meine Hosen platzen
Auf mein Dudelschwanz

Sie dachte ich war ein dandy
und Ihre wade waren wie Eisbein

Oh Madchen, tage bloss hin
Leg dich auch hin, wir scheissen eben nicht mit dem
Das Schutzenfest, niemals mehr gesehen.

Oh Klingel..... Ja Ja... Hund!.... Hund weg !....
Hund weg, Arschloch... HUND WEG!

Sie machte aus meinem Hurz, eine weisse Wurst
Sie tanzt ute-ut und Schuheplattler
Achselhohle war frisch und duften wie
Sommer morgen, Sommer morgen

Super!

Oh Madchen, tat mir ans
Superlochwel ihren BH Wochenende,
Scheisse aber nicht mit der
Das Schutzenfest
Niemals mehr gesehen,
Niemals mehr gesehen

But of course this was intentionally ridiculous, I was referring to more of the unintentionally ridiculous.

SCMike10

"Only time will tell if we stand the test of time"- Why Can't This Be Love? by Van Halen. :roll:

BinFrog

The worst rock lyrics ever, and I will maintain this until the day I die, is Eve 6's "Inside Out". It is the WORST attempt at sounding "deep" I have ever heard. At least with Nickelback or other terrible bands, you know they are a joke. This freaking song makes me want to gouge my ears out whenever I hear it. He's trying so hard to come up with these witty and creative lines one after another and each one falls so short it's not even funny. Ugh:

I would swallow my pride
I would choke on the rinds
But the lack there of would leave me empty inside
Swallow my doubt
Turn it inside out
Find nothing but faith in nothing
Want to put my tender
Heart it in a blender
Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion
Rendezvous then I'm through with you

I burn burn like a wicker cabinet
Chalk white and oh so frail
I see our time has gotten stale
The tick tock of the clock is painful
All sane and logical
I want to tear it off the wall

I hear words in clips and phrases
I think sick like ginger ale
My stomach turns and I exhale

I would swallow my pride
I would choke on the rinds
But the lack there of would leave me empty inside
I would swallow my doubt
Turn it inside out
Find nothing but faith in nothing
Want to put my tender
Heart it in a blender
Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion
Rendezvous then I'm through with you

So Cal is where my mind states
But its not my state of mind
I'm not as ugly sad as you
Or am I origami
Folded up and just pretend
Demented as the motives in your head

I would swallow my pride
I would choke on the rinds
But the lack there of would leave me empty inside
I would swallow my doubt
Turn it inside out
Find nothing but faith in nothing
Want to put my tender
Heart it in a blender
Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion
Rendezvous then I'm through with you

(bridge)
I alone
Am the one you don't
Know you need
Take heed feed your ego
Make me blind
When your eyes
Close sink when you get close
Tie me to the bedpost
I alone
Am the one you dont
Know you need no you don't
Make me blind
When your eyes close
Tie me to the bedpost

I would swallow my pride
I would choke on the rinds
But the lack there of would leave me empty inside
I would swallow my doubt
Turn it inside out
Find nothing but faith in nothing
Want to put my tender
Heart it in a blender
Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion
Rendezvous then I'm through with you
Now im through with you

Through with you
Rendezvous then I'm through with you

gabers

BinFrog wrote:

The worst rock lyrics ever, and I will maintain this until the day I die, is Eve 6's "Inside Out". It is the WORST attempt at sounding "deep" I have ever heard. At least with Nickelback or other terrible bands, you know they are a joke. This freaking song makes me want to gouge my ears out whenever I hear it. He's trying so hard to come up with these witty and creative lines one after another and each one falls so short it's not even funny. Ugh:

**SHUDDERS**

Oh yeah, I have a special place in my heart for my digust in this band and song. So bad. Plus, the lead singer reminds me of the bully kid from A Christmas Story.

megatron

She's such a tough enchilada.. filled up with nada . jj

this line makes me wanna punch you

Back_Pedal

BinFrog wrote:

The worst rock lyrics ever, and I will maintain this until the day I die, is Eve 6's "Inside Out". It is the WORST attempt at sounding "deep" I have ever heard. At least with Nickelback or other terrible bands, you know they are a joke. This freaking song makes me want to gouge my ears out whenever I hear it. He's trying so hard to come up with these witty and creative lines one after another and each one falls so short it's not even funny. Ugh:

I'm not even sure if he was trying to make any kind of point in that song...wow.

PatrickBateman

I couldnt get past 15 seconds of any of the songs from Body Count (Ice-T's "rock" band) complete cheese from the music to the lyrics to the production to the "singing". Horrendous


edit: so I went to copy and paste some of the lyrics and found out they made 3 more albums!

BALLBOY

Has to Limp Bizkit's(anyone remember that crime against music) Nookie. " I did all for the Nookie so you can get a cookie & stick it up yer ass" Not much else to say.

youngster

Everything Zen by Bush has the most godawful lyrics of all time:



There must be something we can eat
Maybe find another lover
Should I fly to Los Angeles
Find my asshole brother
Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow
Dave's on sale again
We kissy kiss in the rear view
We're so bored
You're to blame


Try to see it once my way
Everything zen
Everything zen
I don't think so


Raindogs howl for the century
A million dollars a stake
As you search for your demi-god
And you fake with a saint
There's no sex in your violence
There's no sex in your violence


Try to see it once my way
Everything zen
Everything zen
I don't think so


I don't believe that Elvis is dead
I don't believe that Elvis is dead
I don't believe that Elvis is, Elvis is


There's no sex in your violence

Stonerlady

Oh I so agree with Das Schützenfest.
To be real honest: I don't know just one German who understands all the words. And neither do I. And it's sometimes no sense at all.

facepollution

youngster wrote:

Everything Zen by Bush has the most godawful lyrics of all time

It's funny, as bad as they are, I still quite like the song :oops:

Not heard that Eve 6 song in years, but I remember thinking it was ok when it first came out.....

Pepe Silvia

that dr dre song, keep your head ringin

'i know you're bobbin yer head cause i can see it'

pretty much any bush song

'the cupboard is empty, we really need food, summer is winter and you always knew'

house of pain

' i never eats a pig cause a pig is a cop or better yet a terminator, like arnold shwarzeniger, tryin to play me out as if my name was sega but i ain't goin out like no punk, bitch, get used to 1 style and yo, i might switch' it's especially funny because he never changes his style

Evacuation Rules

BinFrog wrote:

The worst rock lyrics ever, and I will maintain this until the day I die, is Eve 6's "Inside Out". It is the WORST attempt at sounding "deep" I have ever heard. At least with Nickelback or other terrible bands, you know they are a joke. This freaking song makes me want to gouge my ears out whenever I hear it. He's trying so hard to come up with these witty and creative lines one after another and each one falls so short it's not even funny. Ugh:

Imagine some lame cover band playing it in front of the Spectrum while you're waiting for the doors to open. That's what I think of now when I hear it.

glorified G is here

Don't forget about "Whoomp, there it is" or " I'm Too Sexy (for this shirt) "

Lizard

It has to be MacArthur Park!!!

someone left the cake out in the rain / I don't think that I can take it / 'cause it took so long to bake it / and I'll never have that recipe again .

WTF??!!!

mookeywrench

king Missile - Detachable Penis

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again
This happens all the time
It's detachable
This comes in handy a lot of the time
I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble
Or I can rent it out when I don't need it

But now and then I go to a party
Get drunk
And the next morning I can't for the life of me
Remember what I did with it
First I looked around my apartment
And I couldn't find it
So I called up the place where the party was
They hadn't seen it either
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.

I called a few people who were at the party
But they were no help either
I was starting to get desperate
I really don't like being without my penis for too long
It makes me feel like less of a man
And I really hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak

After a few hours of searching the house
And calling everyone I could think of
I was starting to get very depressed
So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast.
Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place
Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street
I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven
Some guy was selling it
I had to buy it off him
He wanted 22 bucks but I talked him down to 17
I took it home
Washed it off
And put it back on
I was happy again
Complete
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached
But I don't know
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass
I like having a detachable penis

Got a hard hard head

There was a song that made number one in the UK and everyone was raving about. Except me. I HATED it. And here's why

It was a theme she had
On a scheme he had
told in a foreign land
To take life on earth
To the second birth
and the man was in command
It was a flight on the wings
Of a young girls dreams
That flew too far away
And we could make the monster live again
Oh hands move and heart beat on
Now life will return in this electric storm
A prophecy for a fantasy
The curse of a vivid mind

Don't push too far
Your Dreams are china in your hand
Don't wish too hard
Because they may come true
And you can't help them
You don't know what you might
Have set upon yourself
China in your hand

Come from greed
Never born of the seed
Took life from a barren hand
On eyes wide
Like a child in the form of a man
A story told
A mind of his own
An omen for our time
We take a flight on the wings of fantasy
Then you push too far
And make your dreams reality
Yeah! china in your hand

But they're only dreams
And you shouldn't push too far

WTF!!!

eeriepadave

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6a-AHLRoAw

I might have to go with Youngster and say Everything Zen by Bush also.

Micky Mouse has grown up a cow. WTF?????????

Pepe Silvia

eeriepadave wrote:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6a-AHLRoAw

I might have to go with Youngster and say Everything Zen by Bush also.

Micky Mouse has grown up a cow. WTF?????????

while i am NOT defending Bush's lyrics i think that Micky Mouse has grown up a cow is kinda meaning a golden cow or whatever, like so many kids worship him. maybe worship is too strong, but like in Dogma, they say the micky mouseish character has become an icon for too many and i think at 1 point they refer to the character as a golden cow or something.

i think 99.999% of their songs have crappy lyrics but i think everything zen is 1 of their better ones, which still doesn't make it great. like 'there's no sex in your violence' i think is a comment on our culture and media being driven by sex and violence. look at most action movies; lots of explosions and the hero has sex with a girl with big tits.

i still say

the cupboard is empty, we really need food
summer is winter and you always knew

has got to be the worst Bush lyric that i can think of!


or maybe

i'm a machine head
from green to red
machine head
yeah

facepollution

Pepe Silvia wrote:

[ like 'there's no sex in your violence' i think is a comment on our culture and media being driven by sex and violence. look at most action movies; lots of explosions and the hero has sex with a girl with big tits.

Hmm, I always thought that line was a blatant rip-off of the "sex is violent" line from Jane's Addiction's Ted Just Admit It - just something cool sounding to throw in there.

Pepe Silvia

facepollution wrote:

Pepe Silvia wrote:

[ like 'there's no sex in your violence' i think is a comment on our culture and media being driven by sex and violence. look at most action movies; lots of explosions and the hero has sex with a girl with big tits.

Hmm, I always thought that line was a blatant rip-off of the "sex is violent" line from Jane's Addiction's Ted Just Admit It - just something cool sounding to throw in there.

it's possible i'm just reading way more into it. i didn't think of it until i noticed that line in dogma then i thought maybe it could have some actual meaning.

facepollution

Pepe Silvia wrote:

it's possible i'm just reading way more into it. i didn't think of it until i noticed that line in dogma then i thought maybe it could have some actual meaning.

Yeah, I guess my feeling is that it's such a similar line, and from a pretty well known song, that it lacked originality.

pjhawks

"I never knew soap made you taller" - Ed - what's up with that?

aneutronbomb

Pepe Silvia wrote:

eeriepadave wrote:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6a-AHLRoAw

I might have to go with Youngster and say Everything Zen by Bush also.

Micky Mouse has grown up a cow. WTF?????????

while i am NOT defending Bush's lyrics i think that Micky Mouse has grown up a cow is kinda meaning a golden cow or whatever, like so many kids worship him. maybe worship is too strong, but like in Dogma, they say the micky mouseish character has become an icon for too many and i think at 1 point they refer to the character as a golden cow or something.

i think 99.999% of their songs have crappy lyrics but i think everything zen is 1 of their better ones, which still doesn't make it great. like 'there's no sex in your violence' i think is a comment on our culture and media being driven by sex and violence. look at most action movies; lots of explosions and the hero has sex with a girl with big tits.

i still say

the cupboard is empty, we really need food
summer is winter and you always knew

has got to be the worst Bush lyric that i can think of!


or maybe

i'm a machine head
from green to red
machine head
yeah

yeah im def noooo bush fan either but i do know this much

that mickey mouse grown up a cow thing is a direct reference to bowie and his song life on mars (awesoem tune!!!) in fact if im not mistaken the next line of bush's crap says something about "selling david"

Pepe Silvia

3rd base forgot the song, maybve pop goes the weasel
pop goes the weasel, the weasel, pop, pop goes the weasel, the weasel, pop goes the weasel cos the weasel goes pop

and not sure who it is, hear it on people's radios
and its bad, real bad, michael jackson, now i'm mad, real mad, joe jackson

Cosmo

You would not believe your eyes
If ten million Fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep
Cause they fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude, but I
Would just stand and stare.

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly.
It's hard to say that I'd
Rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
Cause everything is never as it seems.

Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightening bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance.
A foxtrot above my head,
A sock-hop beneath my bed,
The disco ball is just hanging by a thread.

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly.
It's hard to say that I'd
Rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
Cause everything is never as it seems.
(When I fall asleep.)

Leave my door open just a crack.
(Please take me away from here.)
Cause I feel like such an insomniac.
(Please take me away from here.)
Why do I tire of counting sheep'
(Please take me away from here.)

When I'm far too tired to fall asleep
To ten million fireflies.
I'm weird, cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell.
But I'll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
Cause I saved a few,
And I keep them in a jar.

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly.
It's hard to say that I'd
Rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
Cause everything is never as it seems.
(When I fall asleep.)

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly.
It's hard to say that I'd
Rather stay awake when I'm asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

gabers

I used to love 311, but man they had some dopey lyrics.

How about these?

Chill light on my sight as my ego becomes
A funky child with some words onmy tongue
Be like intake of breath and my mouth gets loose
While I scatter myspit I dream of juice
Have you ever made out in dark hallways
Displayed a kissthat made your day or say
Played a track from your record collection
It's your mix, congratulations

or these?

Now it's morning but last night's on my mind
There's something I need to get off my chest
And no matter what may come to shine
The dream will always be mine
All mixed up, you don't know what to do
Next thing you turn around and find the person is you
Thought a freak might be the thing
But the first could be the last, so just get off of your ass

PearlOfAGirl

Get it up, hey!
Get your pants off the ground
Lookin’ like a fool
Walkin’ talkin’ with your pants on the ground.

by Larry Platt :shock:

craigb

How about "Freak" by Silverchair?

Here's the first verse:

No more maybes
Your baby's got rabies
Sitting on a ball
In the middle of the Andes

dcfaithful

How does this not get mentioned?

What a tool.



Yo VIP let's kick it

Ice ice baby (x2)
All right stop collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop yo I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle
Dance go rush to the speaker that booms
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly when I play a dope melody
Anything less than the best is a felony
Love it or leave it you better gain weight
You better hit bull's eye the kid don't play
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

CHORUS
Ice ice baby vanillla (x4)

Now that the party is jumping
With the bass kicked in and the vegas are pumpin'
Quick to the point to the point no faking
I'm cooking MC's like a pound of bacon
Burning them if you ain't quick and nimble
I go crazy when I hear a cymbal
And a hi-hat with a souped up tempo
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo
Rollin' in my 5.0
With my rag-top down so my hair can blow
The girlies on standby waving just to say hi
Did you stop no I just drove by
Kept on pursuing to the next stop
I busted a left and I'm heading to the next block
The block was dead
Yo so I continued to A1A Beachfront Avenue
Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis
Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis
Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine
Shay with a guage and Vanilla with a nine
Reading for the chumps on the wall
The chumps acting ill because they're so full of eight balls
Gunshots rang out like a bell
I grabbed my nine all I heard were shells
Falling on the concrete real fast
Jumped in my car slammed on the gas
Bumper to bumper the avenue's packed
I'm trying to get away before the jackers jack
Police on the scene you know what I mean
They passed me up confronted all the dope fiends
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

REPEAT CHORUS

Take heed 'cause I'm a lyrical poet
Miami's on the scene just in case you didn't know it
My town that created all the bass sound
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
'Cause my style's like a chemical spill
Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel
Conducted and formed
This is a hell of a concept
We make it hype and you want to step with this
Shay plays on the fade slice like a ninja
Cut like a razor blade so fast other DJs say damn
If my rhyme was a drug I'd sell it by the gram
Keep my composure when it's time to get loose
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it
Check out the hook while Shay revolves it

Ice ice baby vanilla
Ice ice baby (oh-oh) vanilla
Ice ice baby vanilla
Ice ice baby vanilla ice
Yo man let's get out of here
Word to your mother
Ice ice baby too cold
Ice ice baby too cold too cold (x2)
Ice ice baby

kenny olav

BinFrog wrote:

The worst rock lyrics ever, and I will maintain this until the day I die, is Eve 6's "Inside Out". It is the WORST attempt at sounding "deep" I have ever heard. At least with Nickelback or other terrible bands, you know they are a joke. This freaking song makes me want to gouge my ears out whenever I hear it. He's trying so hard to come up with these witty and creative lines one after another and each one falls so short it's not even funny. Ugh:

Could not agree more! I remember when I first heard that song on the radio, I thought "Are you fucking kidding me?" And then when some of my friends told me they liked the song, I said to them "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Everything about that song is annoying.