So...am I an a**hole

pjwhi
pjwhi Posts: 31
edited August 2009 in All Encompassing Trip
Met this girl about 2 months ago, she is really nice, and we enjoy each others company very much... Long story short.... she is married, but filed for divorce 3-4 months ago... they still live in the same house, and he sleeps in a different room apparently, but whatever.... I kind of like this girl, and things have been progressing.... and I'm wondering if I'm being an a**hole in this situation if I decide to sleep with her....

Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not "falling" for her, and I haven't really thought about the "future",and I don't think she has either and I don't think she's "falling" for me....so am I a complete a**hole, if I do it?
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Comments

  • BG44858
    BG44858 Posts: 25
    it's called rebounding... beware
  • pjwhi
    pjwhi Posts: 31
    No, I get the whole "rebound" thing and it's fine...
  • Dez10
    Dez10 Posts: 5
    you are not an a**hole if you do go for it, as a women in a VERY similiar sit. I must say,
    do what you are comfortable with and she should do the same. I would not promote being a part of destroying someone elses life or marriage (I never would be a part of that and have been the victim of lies), but if its over, its over....if she is moving on, why not enjoy her company.Good luck!
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    Personally, I don't think it's a good idea to sleep with people who are still married to other people, even if they have filed for divorce - especially if they still live together. Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. (Plus, people frequently lie/exaggerate or change their minds about exactly how over their marriages really are.)
  • olderman
    olderman Posts: 1,765
    The little devil seated on your right shoulder says 'fuck her'

    I was in the same situation once.. we did not screw in her home but we did screw.

    They ended up staying together and had children.

    Go ahead and 'fuck her' :twisted:
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • BG44858
    BG44858 Posts: 25
    Listen to your own heart and follow its lead...
  • bettielee
    bettielee Posts: 74
    Gird your loins....
  • Random_Wookie
    Random_Wookie Posts: 1,099
    be used and abubused and thrown away like a piece of garbage!
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  • decides2dream
    decides2dream Posts: 14,977
    nope.
    married, seperated, divorced, whatever....the responsibility to that relationship is on the person IN that relationship. if she tells you she is in the process of divorce, her husband still living with her, etc....and you are comfortable with that.....go for it. obviously, it is good that you don't feel too *serious* and just make sure she feels the same, and all is fine imo.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • arq
    arq Posts: 8,101
    What are you waiting for? She looking for some sweet sweet looove (making)! And you're not going to be an asshole you're just the person filling her needs :lol:
    "The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it"
    Neil deGrasse Tyson

    Why not (V) (°,,,,°) (V) ?
  • Hitch-Hiker
    Hitch-Hiker Posts: 2,873
    arq wrote:
    What are you waiting for? She looking for some sweet sweet looove (making)! And you're not going to be an asshole you're just the person filling her needs :lol:
    Word
    I'll Ride The Wave Where It Takes Me
  • pjwhi
    pjwhi Posts: 31
    OK, you've all had some good advice, and I appreciate your input. especially the guy who said "gird your loins"...hahaha

    You have convinced me that I am not an A-hole, and I should move forward cautiously...

    A good friend of mine responded to this situation by telling me "people get shot over this shit"...and I have been paranoid ever since....

    Thanks alot
  • Poncier
    Poncier Posts: 18,100
    I'd make sure her husband doesn't own a gun first.
    This weekend we rock Portland
  • Danimal
    Danimal Posts: 2,000
    scb wrote:
    Personally, I don't think it's a good idea to sleep with people who are still married to other people, even if they have filed for divorce - especially if they still live together. Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. (Plus, people frequently lie/exaggerate or change their minds about exactly how over their marriages really are.)

    Oh God I hope you are wrong!
    "I don't believe in PJ fans but I believe there is something, not too sure what." - Thoughts_Arrive


  • libragirl
    libragirl Posts: 4,632
    Personally, I think you should wait until they are divorced and not living together.
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • FearTheBeard
    FearTheBeard Posts: 666
    libragirl wrote:
    Personally, I think you should wait until they are divorced and not living together.

    +1
  • Beck..
    Beck.. Posts: 535
    ucsbflipflop wrote:
    libragirl wrote:
    Personally, I think you should wait until they are divorced and not living together.

    +1
    +2
    Ive been in the same situation and it didnt end well.
  • JaneNY
    JaneNY Posts: 4,438
    libragirl wrote:
    Personally, I think you should wait until they are divorced and not living together.

    +3. They could still change their mind and get back together and then what?
    R.i.p. Rigoberto Alpizar.
    R.i.p. My Dad - May 28, 2007
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  • aNiMaL
    aNiMaL Posts: 7,117
    pjwhip wrote:
    OK, you've all had some good advice, and I appreciate your input. especially the guy who said "gird your loins"...hahaha

    You have convinced me that I am not an A-hole, and I should move forward cautiously...

    A good friend of mine responded to this situation by telling me "people get shot over this shit"...and I have been paranoid ever since....

    Thanks alot
    I'd be much happier if you just said "ass hole" instead of "a-hole." This reminds me of that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm when what's-his-name wouldn't say "fuck you," and instead would always say "frick you."
  • Heatherj43
    Heatherj43 Posts: 1,254
    Stay away! You likely only know her side of it. There's her side, his side, and the truth! I see heartache in your future.
    BTW< I walked into my extra bedroom and caught my bf and the girl next door. You should of heard the stories both were spilling out of their mouths. I, also, fell for a married man years ago. His lies were so unbelieveable and I fell for every one of them. I ended up feeling like a fool.
    And, yes...people do get shot over this kind of stuff.
    Save room for dessert!

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