So...am I an a**hole
pjwhi
Posts: 31
Met this girl about 2 months ago, she is really nice, and we enjoy each others company very much... Long story short.... she is married, but filed for divorce 3-4 months ago... they still live in the same house, and he sleeps in a different room apparently, but whatever.... I kind of like this girl, and things have been progressing.... and I'm wondering if I'm being an a**hole in this situation if I decide to sleep with her....
Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not "falling" for her, and I haven't really thought about the "future",and I don't think she has either and I don't think she's "falling" for me....so am I a complete a**hole, if I do it?
Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not "falling" for her, and I haven't really thought about the "future",and I don't think she has either and I don't think she's "falling" for me....so am I a complete a**hole, if I do it?
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
do what you are comfortable with and she should do the same. I would not promote being a part of destroying someone elses life or marriage (I never would be a part of that and have been the victim of lies), but if its over, its over....if she is moving on, why not enjoy her company.Good luck!
I was in the same situation once.. we did not screw in her home but we did screw.
They ended up staying together and had children.
Go ahead and 'fuck her' :twisted:
As she slams the door in his drunken face
And now he stands outside
And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
And his tears fall and burn the garden green
Rod Laver Arena - Nov 13, 2006
Adelaide Oval - Nov 17, 2009
Etihad Stadium - Nov 20, 2009
BDO Melbourne - Jan 24, 2014
New York - May 02 - 2016
Powered by Pearl Jam
married, seperated, divorced, whatever....the responsibility to that relationship is on the person IN that relationship. if she tells you she is in the process of divorce, her husband still living with her, etc....and you are comfortable with that.....go for it. obviously, it is good that you don't feel too *serious* and just make sure she feels the same, and all is fine imo.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Why not (V) (°,,,,°) (V) ?
You have convinced me that I am not an A-hole, and I should move forward cautiously...
A good friend of mine responded to this situation by telling me "people get shot over this shit"...and I have been paranoid ever since....
Thanks alot
Oh God I hope you are wrong!
+1
Ive been in the same situation and it didnt end well.
+3. They could still change their mind and get back together and then what?
R.i.p. My Dad - May 28, 2007
R.i.p. Black Tail (cat) - Sept. 20, 2008
BTW< I walked into my extra bedroom and caught my bf and the girl next door. You should of heard the stories both were spilling out of their mouths. I, also, fell for a married man years ago. His lies were so unbelieveable and I fell for every one of them. I ended up feeling like a fool.
And, yes...people do get shot over this kind of stuff.
for the least they could possibly do
I think it's strange that she says she filed for divorce but they are still living in the same house. That's a big alarm bell if you ask me. *ding* *ding*
in all fairness, my sister filed for divorce from her first husband, and they both lived in their house for a another year until the divorce was final. it happens. probably a lot more often than people realize. my sister was initially thinking of keeping the house after the divorce, some continuity for her son, etc.....and thus didn't want to sell/move. her husband had no intention of fighting her for the house, he was just bitter, pissed and behaving childishly since she wanted the divorce, he didn't...so he was being a bit of a prick in refusing to move, and the lawyers said she couldn't force him out. it was a rough year for sure, but yea...it does happen. just sayin'. i know of a few couples with similar stories. especially when people joinly own a home, etc....it can be difficult, not affordable, to move out while there still is a mortgage, and/or who wants the house....
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
why are they still living together? even if he sleeps in a different room do you think he does every single night? does he think they are getting divorced or just going through a rough patch?
i'd say if they are actually split you wouldn't be an asshole for it.
what are you but my reflection? who am i to judge or strike you down?
"I will promise you this, that if we have not gotten our troops out by the time I am president, it is the first thing I will do. I will get our troops home. We will bring an end to this war. You can take that to the bank." - Barack Obama
when you told me 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em'
i was thinkin 'death before dishonor'
nope.
at least not in NYS. divorce laws vary greatly from state to state. in NY you must be legally seperated a year before you can get a divorce, but you don't actually have to live apart to do so.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
She's separated and fair game. Game on playa. Just be aware that you're probably no more than a rebound and once she's healed from the split, you're going to be tossed aside for another dude.
Fair point there, and true. But that doesn't make you an asshole, it makes him a tool.
take the dive and enjoy the swim. who doesn't like to swim?
It's just a waste of your time, then. If you aren't falling in love with her, don't sleep with her. You will probably end up regretting it and it won't be worth it. Plus it will make things all "complicated" and boring afterwards. Wait until you find someone really special and sleep with them.