Parenting - Dicipline

Flannel Shirt
Flannel Shirt Posts: 1,021
edited February 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
Question for all the moms and dads out there....

I have a 1 year old. He is now always getting into trouble. By trouble I mean grabbing lamp or tv cords, outlets, putting hands in the garbage, grabbing things off shelves, etc....hes exploring.

My wife gently tells him no, moves him away from what hes doing, and he goes back, they repeat process until he gets bored or they go into another room or whatever.

I sternly tell him "NO" over and over again (obviouisly I move him, start playing again, and he wanders over to the outlet or whatever again). I am not yelling, just using an authoratative voice saying "NO".

My question is this, which do you think gets better results, and will he end up hating me for being "the jerk that keeps saying no"? ha ha...kinda

:)
All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
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  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    Flannel Shirt wrote:
    Question for all the moms and dads out there....

    I have a 1 year old. He is now always getting into trouble. By trouble I mean grabbing lamp or tv cords, outlets, putting hands in the garbage, grabbing things off shelves, etc....hes exploring.

    My wife gently tells him no, moves him away from what hes doing, and he goes back, they repeat process until he gets bored or they go into another room or whatever.

    I sternly tell him "NO" over and over again (obviouisly I move him, start playing again, and he wanders over to the outlet or whatever again). I am not yelling, just using an authoratative voice saying "NO".

    My question is this, which do you think gets better results, and will he end up hating me for being "the jerk that keeps saying no"? ha ha...kinda

    :)

    instead of just saying "no" can you explain to him that he'll hurt himself? I know he's only 1 but I think babies can understand things. and then he'll get used to you explaining why you are telling him no because even if he doesn't understand now he will soon.
  • Flannel Shirt
    Flannel Shirt Posts: 1,021
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    instead of just saying "no" can you explain to him that he'll hurt himself? I know he's only 1 but I think babies can understand things. and then he'll get used to you explaining why you are telling him no because even if he doesn't understand now he will soon.
    i do. i should have mentioned that. he is saying "no" now. ha ha.

    i just didnt know if you should be kinda stern when saying no when they are this young.
    All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
  • upina2001
    upina2001 Indiana Posts: 764
    continue to redirect; at that age, the use of the word NO is helpful, but the babies focus just needs to be redirected. Do that enough and he'll get the hint. :D

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  • upina2001
    upina2001 Indiana Posts: 764
    Flannel Shirt wrote:
    i do. i should have mentioned that. he is saying "no" now. ha ha.

    i just didnt know if you should be kinda stern when saying no when they are this young.


    I too feel at times I say NO or BE CAREFUL way too much. Just make a mental note of it, and try not to use it unless really needed; like pulling hot water off the stove. :D

    Toledo, Ohio (September 22, 1996), East Troy, Wisconsin (June 26, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 17, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 18, 2000), Cincinnati, Ohio (August 20, 2000), Columbus, Ohio (August 21, 2000), Nashville, Tennessee (April 18, 2003), Champaign, Illinois (April 23, 2003), Noblesville, Indiana (June 22, 2003), Chicago, Illinois (May 16, 2006), Chicago, Illinois (August 05, 2007), West Palm Beach, Florida (June 11, 2008), Tampa, Florida (June 12, 2008), Columbus, OH (May 06, 2010), Noblesville, Indiana (May 07, 2010), Wrigley Field (July 19, 2013), US Bank Arena (October 01, 2014), Lexington (April 26, 2016), Chicago Night 2 (August 20, 2018), Boston Night 1 (September 02, 2018), Nashville (September 16, 2022), St. Louis (September 18, 2022)

  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    I think as long as you're both redirecting, and you both stay consistent, they can both be effective.

    We have an almost 20 month old, and she is always ALWAYS into something! ;0 She's young enough and has a short enough attention span that redirecting her to something new usually makes her forget that she was trying to climb onto the computer desk or hit the tv...lol.
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    instead of just saying "no" can you explain to him that he'll hurt himself? I know he's only 1 but I think babies can understand things. and then he'll get used to you explaining why you are telling him no because even if he doesn't understand now he will soon.

    They do, to an extent. But as much as my daughter talks (and she is VERY verbal) and as much as she understands, she can't grasp the concept of us telling her she'll get hurt. However, if she does something and ends up actually falling down or getting hurt, she understands it.
  • meme
    meme Posts: 4,695
    Redirecting is best, and trying to get rid or put out of his reach as many of the things that are dangerous or you don't want him to touch.

    I have heard NO is best reserved for genuinely dangerous situations, and should be used sparingly.

    Worked for me. Sorta. It's a lot of work :)
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • upina2001
    upina2001 Indiana Posts: 764
    meme wrote:
    It's a lot of work :)


    and HOW!!!!!!

    Toledo, Ohio (September 22, 1996), East Troy, Wisconsin (June 26, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 17, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 18, 2000), Cincinnati, Ohio (August 20, 2000), Columbus, Ohio (August 21, 2000), Nashville, Tennessee (April 18, 2003), Champaign, Illinois (April 23, 2003), Noblesville, Indiana (June 22, 2003), Chicago, Illinois (May 16, 2006), Chicago, Illinois (August 05, 2007), West Palm Beach, Florida (June 11, 2008), Tampa, Florida (June 12, 2008), Columbus, OH (May 06, 2010), Noblesville, Indiana (May 07, 2010), Wrigley Field (July 19, 2013), US Bank Arena (October 01, 2014), Lexington (April 26, 2016), Chicago Night 2 (August 20, 2018), Boston Night 1 (September 02, 2018), Nashville (September 16, 2022), St. Louis (September 18, 2022)

  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    If you figure out a way to stop the biting, head butting, pulling lamps off tables, etc, WITHOUT your child thinking it means 'can you do that again, please? I LOVE it when you break things' be sure to let me know. :p
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    haha I just thought of a conversation I had with my friends recently about potty training...I said that if i ever have kids (which is unlikely) I'll outsource potty training. you know, send them away to potty training camp for a few months...frankly, we were all surprised that no one has started this business yet.
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    haha I just thought of a conversation I had with my friends recently about potty training...I said that if i ever have kids (which is unlikely) I'll outsource potty training. you know, send them away to potty training camp for a few months...frankly, we were all surprised that no one has started this business yet.

    lol :)

    I know, potty training is gross. But, I'm really ready to be done with diapers...so I'm willing to deal with it! ;)
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Flannel Shirt wrote:
    Question for all the moms and dads out there....

    I have a 1 year old. He is now always getting into trouble. By trouble I mean grabbing lamp or tv cords, outlets, putting hands in the garbage, grabbing things off shelves, etc....hes exploring.

    My wife gently tells him no, moves him away from what hes doing, and he goes back, they repeat process until he gets bored or they go into another room or whatever.

    I sternly tell him "NO" over and over again (obviouisly I move him, start playing again, and he wanders over to the outlet or whatever again). I am not yelling, just using an authoratative voice saying "NO".

    My question is this, which do you think gets better results, and will he end up hating me for being "the jerk that keeps saying no"? ha ha...kinda

    :)
    IMO you are doing the right thing. He is not going to remember you for being the bad guy. And do you have outlet covers?
    I used to, and sometimes still do, firmly say no and do the sign for no. He knows when I break out that voice, he better fall in line. lol
    You are going to get so sick of the word no, but that is how they learn.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • Flannel Shirt
    Flannel Shirt Posts: 1,021
    TrixieCat wrote:
    IMO you are doing the right thing. He is not going to remember you for being the bad guy. And do you have outlet covers?
    I used to, and sometimes still do, firmly say no and do the sign for no. He knows when I break out that voice, he better fall in line. lol
    You are going to get so sick of the word no, but that is how they learn.
    oh yes, every outlet is covered.
    I just remember my dad being the one that said "NO", and that was always enough for me. Never spanked me or laid a hand on me. His voice saying a stern "NO" was all he needed. I assume it started when I was a baby... :)
    All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Flannel Shirt wrote:
    Question for all the moms and dads out there....

    I have a 1 year old. He is now always getting into trouble. By trouble I mean grabbing lamp or tv cords, outlets, putting hands in the garbage, grabbing things off shelves, etc....hes exploring.

    My wife gently tells him no, moves him away from what hes doing, and he goes back, they repeat process until he gets bored or they go into another room or whatever.

    I sternly tell him "NO" over and over again (obviouisly I move him, start playing again, and he wanders over to the outlet or whatever again). I am not yelling, just using an authoratative voice saying "NO".

    My question is this, which do you think gets better results, and will he end up hating me for being "the jerk that keeps saying no"? ha ha...kinda

    :)

    can you follow the "NO" with an "OUCH!" type sound? I liked to say "No! OOW!" and make a slightly sad face. also a sorrowful shake of the head with a less stern NO seemed to work too, they would repeat the head motion and begin to temper themselves...if the lamp is on - you can say "no! OWWW, HOT!" or something that implies it is not a safe touch object.

    I wouldn't worry that you will be remembered as the NO Jerk. that sterner voice is just a daddy voice...provided you don't holler NO!! all the time. also, bear in mind that a "No" that doesn't sound harsh to you may be harsher to a small child - especially if it is coming from WAY above them - in other words, get on their level and non-confrontationally get some eye contact, when you communicate. You want to kind of save the panic-up-from-above, loud "NO!!" for SERIOUS and IMMINENT danger.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • Flannel Shirt
    Flannel Shirt Posts: 1,021
    thanks everyone. got some good pointers. I think I will trying screaming NO from above without making eye contact while not redirecting.

    seriously, thanks for the advice.
    All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
  • gobrowns19
    gobrowns19 Posts: 1,447
    Why my brother was young, like around 1 or so, we would tell him everything was 'hot,' even if it wasn't, we used that for things that could hurt him, he always knew that word for some reason.

    "Andrew stay away from the lawn mower it's hot!"[when it was turned off]
    Happiness is only real when shared
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    gobrowns19 wrote:
    Why my brother was young, like around 1 or so, we would tell him everything was 'hot,' even if it wasn't, we used that for things that could hurt him, he always knew that word for some reason.

    "Andrew stay away from the lawn mower it's hot!"[when it was turned off]
    This reminds me of a little (albeit cruel) trick I use to get mine to leave somewhere or go somewhere. I tell him Mickey Mouse is waiting for him in the car. roflmao....works everytime.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • edvedder913
    edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    TrixieCat wrote:
    This reminds me of a little (albeit cruel) trick I use to get mine to leave somewhere or go somewhere. I tell him Mickey Mouse is waiting for him in the car. roflmao....works everytime.

    ha ha that is pretty funny. has he leaned to flip you the finger yet? :D
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    TrixieCat wrote:
    This reminds me of a little (albeit cruel) trick I use to get mine to leave somewhere or go somewhere. I tell him Mickey Mouse is waiting for him in the car. roflmao....works everytime.

    lol!!! So funny. :D I'll have to try that one. She's a big fan of "Mimi", as she calls Mickey Mouse. :)

    Did he get mad once you got him to the car and there was no Mickey? Or did he forget by the time you were there? :D
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    edvedder913 wrote:
    ha ha that is pretty funny. has he leaned to flip you the finger yet? :D
    I honestly can't remember the last time I flipped someone off...I am on some good medication. lol
    Seriously, the poor kid falls for it everytime. :o
    He does ride around in the cozy coupe grocery cart yelling "Get off your phone!"
    lol
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away

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