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alittle friday humor
NY PJ1
Posts: 9,533
Subject: Hypnotist
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years?
Well, they're gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat:
I do not have a headache.
I do not have a headache.
I do not have a headache.
It worked! The headaches are all gone!"
The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years.
Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes grabs his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying:
"She's not my wife."
"She's not my wife."
"She's not my wife
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years?
Well, they're gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat:
I do not have a headache.
I do not have a headache.
I do not have a headache.
It worked! The headaches are all gone!"
The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years.
Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes grabs his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying:
"She's not my wife."
"She's not my wife."
"She's not my wife
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2007: Copenhagen, Werchter
2009: Rotterdam, London
2010: MSG, Arras, Werchter
2012: Amsterdam, Prague, Berlin
2014: Amsterdam, Stockholm
One day when he came to, he motioned for her to come closer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with methrough all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by myside...you know what?"
"What dear?", she asked gentky, smiling as her heart began to fill with warnth.
"I think you're bad luck...get the fuck away from me!"
2007: Copenhagen, Werchter
2009: Rotterdam, London
2010: MSG, Arras, Werchter
2012: Amsterdam, Prague, Berlin
2014: Amsterdam, Stockholm
You marry it
Hahaha, that's a good one!