alittle friday humor
NY PJ1
Posts: 9,533
Subject: Hypnotist
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years?
Well, they're gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat:
I do not have a headache.
I do not have a headache.
I do not have a headache.
It worked! The headaches are all gone!"
The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years.
Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes grabs his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying:
"She's not my wife."
"She's not my wife."
"She's not my wife
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years?
Well, they're gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat:
I do not have a headache.
I do not have a headache.
I do not have a headache.
It worked! The headaches are all gone!"
The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years.
Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes grabs his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying:
"She's not my wife."
"She's not my wife."
"She's not my wife
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
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Hahahahaha!0
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LOL pretty funny:)Arms wide open with the sea as my floor.0
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awesome
thanks
2006: Antwerp, Paris
2007: Copenhagen, Werchter
2009: Rotterdam, London
2010: MSG, Arras, Werchter
2012: Amsterdam, Prague, Berlin
2014: Amsterdam, Stockholm0 -
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day when he came to, he motioned for her to come closer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with methrough all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by myside...you know what?"
"What dear?", she asked gentky, smiling as her heart began to fill with warnth.
"I think you're bad luck...get the fuck away from me!"This weekend we rock Portland0 -
Poncier wrote:A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day when he came to, he motioned for her to come closer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with methrough all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by myside...you know what?"
"What dear?", she asked gentky, smiling as her heart began to fill with warnth.
"I think you're bad luck...get the fuck away from me!"2006: Antwerp, Paris
2007: Copenhagen, Werchter
2009: Rotterdam, London
2010: MSG, Arras, Werchter
2012: Amsterdam, Prague, Berlin
2014: Amsterdam, Stockholm0 -
Poncier wrote:A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day when he came to, he motioned for her to come closer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with methrough all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by myside...you know what?"
"What dear?", she asked gentky, smiling as her heart began to fill with warnth.
"I think you're bad luck...get the fuck away from me!"That's brilliant
I'll Ride The Wave Where It Takes Me0 -
haha, love it!0
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How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
You marry itI just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.0 -
what is a lawyer's form of birth control.................their personality.live and let live...unless it violates the pearligious doctrine.0
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"It's all happening"0
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