People who insult grammar on a message board

fanch75
fanch75 Posts: 3,734
edited May 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
Edit: When a white person on this board chooses to insult your message board grammar, feel free to call them on it and refer them to this thread. This will either 1) disarm them or 2) reinforce their superiority to you in their own mind, because their English degree makes them appear more intelligent than you on a rock band's message board.

I used to get really confused as to why people would use board grammar as a basis to insult someone on a message board. And then it hit me - it's mostly WHITE PEOPLE that post on a message board. It all makes sense now.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/05/12/99-grammar/

Stuff White People Like

#99 Grammar
May 12, 2008 by clander

White people love rules. It explains why so they get upset when people cut in line, why they tip so religiously and why they become lawyers. But without a doubt, the rule system that white people love the most is grammar. It is in their blood not only to use perfect grammar but also to spend significant portions of time pointing out the errors of others.

When asking someone about their biggest annoyances in life, you might expect responses like “hunger,” “being poor,” or “getting shot.” If you ask a white person, the most common response will likely be “people who use ‘their’ when they mean ‘there.’ Maybe comma splices, I’m not sure but it’s definitely one of the two.”

If you wish to gain the respect of a white person, it’s probably a good idea that you find an obscure and debated grammar rule such as the “Oxford Comma” and take a firm stance on what you believe is correct. This is seen as more productive and forward thinking that simply stating your anger at the improper use of “it’s.

Another important thing to know is that when white people read magazines and books they are always looking for grammar and spelling mistakes. In fact, one of the greatest joys a white person can experience is to catch a grammar mistake in a major publication. Finding one allows a white person to believe that they are better than the writer and the publication since they would have caught the mistake. The more respected the publication, the greater the thrill. If a white person were to catch a mistake in The New Yorker, it would be a sufficient reason for a large party.

Though they reserve the harshest judgment for professional, do not assume that white people will cast a blind eye to your grammar mistakes in email and official documents. They will judge you and make a general assessment about your intelligence after the first infraction. Fortunately, this situation can be improved if you ask a white person to proof read your work before you send it out. “Hey Jill, I’m sorry to do this, but I have a business degree and I’m a terrible writer. Can you look this over for me?” This deft maneuver will allow the white person to feel as though their liberal arts degree has a purpose and allow you to do something more interesting.

Don’t worry, it is impossible for a white person to turn down the opportunity to proofread.
Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • EvilMerlin
    EvilMerlin Posts: 1,865
    HAHAHAH, my ex has an English degree and was like that. She's not white though, but she's a bit white washed, so yeah. It rubbed off on me for a while, but then I got back to normal and was like eh fuck it. If I get the point, the person did their job. If someone gets my point, I did my job. If not, ask for it to be explained again. No biggie.
  • NY PJ1
    NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    fanch75 wrote:
    I used to get really confused as to why people would use board grammar as a basis to insult someone on a message board. And then it hit me - it's mostly WHITE PEOPLE that post on a message board. It all makes sense now.

    http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/05/12/99-grammar/

    Stuff White People Like

    #99 Grammar
    May 12, 2008 by clander

    White people love rules. It explains why so they get upset when people cut in line, why they tip so religiously and why they become lawyers. But without a doubt, the rule system that white people love the most is grammar. It is in their blood not only to use perfect grammar but also to spend significant portions of time pointing out the errors of others.

    When asking someone about their biggest annoyances in life, you might expect responses like “hunger,” “being poor,” or “getting shot.” If you ask a white person, the most common response will likely be “people who use ‘their’ when they mean ‘there.’ Maybe comma splices, I’m not sure but it’s definitely one of the two.”

    If you wish to gain the respect of a white person, it’s probably a good idea that you find an obscure and debated grammar rule such as the “Oxford Comma” and take a firm stance on what you believe is correct. This is seen as more productive and forward thinking that simply stating your anger at the improper use of “it’s.

    Another important thing to know is that when white people read magazines and books they are always looking for grammar and spelling mistakes. In fact, one of the greatest joys a white person can experience is to catch a grammar mistake in a major publication. Finding one allows a white person to believe that they are better than the writer and the publication since they would have caught the mistake. The more respected the publication, the greater the thrill. If a white person were to catch a mistake in The New Yorker, it would be a sufficient reason for a large party.

    Though they reserve the harshest judgment for professional, do not assume that white people will cast a blind eye to your grammar mistakes in email and official documents. They will judge you and make a general assessment about your intelligence after the first infraction. Fortunately, this situation can be improved if you ask a white person to proof read your work before you send it out. “Hey Jill, I’m sorry to do this, but I have a business degree and I’m a terrible writer. Can you look this over for me?” This deft maneuver will allow the white person to feel as though their liberal arts degree has a purpose and allow you to do something more interesting.

    Don’t worry, it is impossible for a white person to turn down the opportunity to proofread.

    this is perfect for me cause my spelling and grammer sucks

    and everyone becomes an english professor all of a sudden
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    can
    a
    fucking
    worms
    opening
    huge
    you're
    there
    of



    ;)
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    can
    a
    fucking
    worms
    opening
    huge
    you're
    there
    of



    ;)

    dear god man where did you go to school? :p:D
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    I couldn't care less if someone uses bad grammar or spelling on the internet unless they piss me off over something else. Then you can be damn sure I'll pull you up over it to belittle you and highlight my overbearing superiority :cool:

    ;)

    I personally try to write as I would if I was writing something formal as much as I can, apart from when I am being intentionally colloquial for effect. I use sextasyllabic words in text messages fer chrissakes :p
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    People who have nothing better going for them seem to be the ones that correct grammar and spelling.
    It is silly, really.
    Enough already. ;) <--that was for a friend
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    I couldn't care less if someone uses bad grammar or spelling on the internet unless they piss me off over something else. Then you can be damn sure I'll pull you up over it to belittle you and highlight my overbearing superiority :cool:

    ;)

    I personally try to write as I would if I was writing something formal as much as I can, apart from when I am being intentionally colloquial for effect. I use sextasyllabic words in text messages fer chrissakes :p

    this is totally formal. :p:D
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • ZiggyStar
    ZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    Personally, I find it disgusting that the majority of people can't speak or write their own language....
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    catefrances wrote:
    this is totally formal. :p:D
    Did you not read the part about using colloquialisms for effect? :D
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • PearlJamaholic
    PearlJamaholic Posts: 2,019
    grammar nazis make me laugh. its like do you understand what i wrote? good now get over it. i even argue about 'i' i is me so maybe i dont think 'i' should be capitalized. same with my name. i never use caps unless it autocorrects. only for graded assignments do i go through any work and its not much. periods and every once in awhile a comma thats it.
    http://db.etree.org/PearlJamaholic
  • eyedclaar
    eyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Isn't this like the cracker calling the marshmallow white?
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  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    Did you not read the part about using colloquialisms for effect? :D

    yep yep i did.

    im just busting your hump cause you think 1965 is 2008. :p:D
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • markymark550
    markymark550 Columbia, SC Posts: 5,223
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    can
    a
    fucking
    worms
    opening
    huge
    you're
    there
    of



    ;)
    you're fucking worms, a huge can opening there of

    was that right??


    I try to use correct grammar, but I'll be the first to admit that I'm not always grammatically correct. Mainly because I never really paid attention in English class....
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    PearlJamaholic wrote:
    grammar nazis make me laugh. its like do you understand what i wrote? good now get over it. i even argue about 'i' i is me so maybe i dont think 'i' should be capitalized. same with my name. i never use caps unless it autocorrects. only for graded assignments do i go through any work and its not much. periods and every once in awhile a comma thats it.
    I don't know... I love language. I find the English language to be beautiful (one of the few English things that is) and don't mind making an effort to preserve that :) Being totally anal about it is stupid but then, is it too much to expect someone to put in a bit of effort when communicating with you?
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    catefrances wrote:
    yep yep i did.

    im just busting your hump cause you think 1965 is 2008. :p:D
    I DON'T think that! :D That was my point. YOU think 2007 is 2008 just because your computer sucks :p

    *sobs and tears hair out*
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    i dinnae even care, so i dinnae.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • fanch75
    fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    As a public service to those who have better things to do than worry about comma splices while posting at The Pit, I edited the very beginning of the original post.
    Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?
  • kh65
    kh65 Posts: 946
    This is stupid. It is simple as to why grammar is a big thing. If you can't communicate clearly no ones knows WTF you are saying and you wonder why people misunderstand what you mean. It is your own fault if YOU can't communicate.
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

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  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    I DON'T think that! :D That was my point. YOU think 2007 is 2008 just because your computer sucks :p

    *sobs and tears hair out*

    i run on my own clock. ive never quite understood how summer/winter straddles across the new year and beyond. the year should start in march or december i reckon. that way all three winter/summer months are together.

    i agree my computer does suck. :)
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    dunkman wrote:
    i dinnae even care, so i dinnae.
    My mother tells my Dad off for saying 'dinnae' which cracks me up because she's from Easterhouse. Now there's a white attitude. Pretending you're something you're not :D I've already said I like being grammatically correct, as far as possible, but when a woman from inner-city Glasgow starts telling a guy from inner-city Glasgow to speak properly I wonder to myself, "what is 'proper' speech?". Fuck the Queen's English. I adhere to strict grammar rules but, by god, they're my own rules. For any errors you can find in my grammar from now on, safely assume that they are purposeful and iconoclastic in intent.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"

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