Another parenting question!

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  • meme
    meme Posts: 4,695
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    can you go for a walk anyway? bundle up in lots of warm clothes and take a big umbrella and maybe cut it short?

    That's what I am thinking. It could be fun :)
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    can you go for a walk anyway? bundle up in lots of warm clothes and take a big umbrella and maybe cut it short?

    If I had a rain cover for the stroller, I would...but it's really pretty nasty now.

    Besides, she's now growling at a picture of Spiderman, so this'll keep her happy until her lunch is ready....lol. :)
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    The thing is, she is SOOO strong-willed, that engaging her in an activity when she's freaking out is absolutely impossible! I get the feeling that she just needs to go through it and just work it out herself. And then on the other side of it, she's totally happy and normal again.

    Yeah, I haven't had to deal with the public tantrum yet. I plan to take the "leave the store (or wherever you are) until they calm down" method. I don't plan to walk around Target while she screams at me in the cart!

    well, if she just needs to get the angry-frustration out, then at her age a tantrum actually IS appropriate behavior. But, maybe after she is smiling and happier/normal again you can ask her why she had a tantrum. (using normal appropriate language - and make sure you don't tell her why ie, "where you sad that we couldn't go for a walk?" since that will give her the impression that it is acceptable to carry on like that...that will be a hard habit to break.)

    With kids at that age, after their tantrum I would ask them,
    "why were you crying and upset?"
    and in their limited vocab they would tell me roughly that they were "mad" or something along that line, so then I would say -
    "when you get really ANGRY what else can you do?? how can you let me know that you are ANGRY!!"
    then make a bit of a show at thinking hard about the answer, and say something like
    "I know! you can say Miss .... I'm ANGRY!!! and you can maybe do this (Pantomime a funny feet stomp exagerated angry face) that way i will know and we can help you to feel not so angry! - doesn't that sound better? lets do that next time!"
    "It's okay to be angry, but it's not okay to kick and scream and cry and hit (or any of the other things) because you might get hurt."

    now in the stores, it is best to just leave the store, and let them have their fit in the car. and when they are done, a little coolness towards them, after explaining that a public tantrum is NOT acceptable ("use your words" theme) really does drive it home...

    good luck! :)
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    If I had a rain cover for the stroller, I would...but it's really pretty nasty now.

    Besides, she's now growling at a picture of Spiderman, so this'll keep her happy until her lunch is ready....lol. :)
    When it is raining I take my little monster to the library or to a friends house to torture them. lol
    Or I go to the gym and drop him off at the childcare room.
    Or....oh how I hate to do this.....even embarassed to say it...:o take him to the mall to run around. :o
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    TrixieCat wrote:
    When it is raining I take my little monster to the library or to a friends house to torture them. lol
    Or I go to the gym and drop him off at the childcare room.
    Or....oh how I hate to do this.....even embarassed to say it...:o take him to the mall to run around. :o

    I wish I had the option, but my husband and I share a car! I do have the car once each week, though, on the days we go to Little Gym. I love the freedom! :)
  • PJaddicted
    PJaddicted Posts: 1,432
    Only my oldest son had tantrums, and they were short lived....I had #2 son when he was only 21 months old, so there was lots of entertainment, like figuring out ways to do his baby brother in! :D My other guys never had them, there was no time for boredom, it was like a nursery school here with 4 kids under the age 7! I had plans for each day, projects to make, spent time cooking, friends visit, we had lots of pets to care for and play with and outings every single day...I tried to make everyday fun and interesting. I always took them grocery shopping,and had them help me do chores...now they can all cook and do their own laundry! My bible for raising the boys, was The Mothers Almanac, filled with simple down to earth things to do with small children....I LOVED THAT BOOK! My copy is completely falling apart. I also used a couple of books about traditions and celebrated every holiday that ever existed...so there was always a party planned. I had a blast raising my boys...I really miss it.

    How about getting out for just a bit in rain coats and under a umbrella? Or maybe a short outing to the store? Do you have a couple of friends you could do some play dates with, switch off houses? Anything to give her something she can look forward to.

    It will be over quickly!

    oxc
    ~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~

    *May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*

    He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
    — Unknown
  • AmentsChick
    AmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    How do you handle tantrums at home?

    My daughter just threw a 6 minute tantrum. We usually go on a walk about this time, but it's cold and raining today so we're stuck inside....so she's bored. Anyway, I just ignored her and eventually she decided to stop freaking out and then came over and hugged me...lol.

    Anyway, do you just ignore tantrums at home and let them work themselves out? Or should I be putting her in time out or something, to show her that she's wrong?

    UGH...I hate that. Too young to really discipline at this point. I just stick with the standby "NO NO NO NO". When she gets old enough for time-outs then you're golden.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • acoustic guy
    acoustic guy Posts: 3,770
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    The funniest part of this particular tantrum was that while I was ignoring her, she moved (mid-tantrum) to a spot on the floor where she felt I had a better view of her. And then she stopped for around 30 seconds or so to watch a commercial with a puppy on it, and then started up again...lol. :D Kids are fun! ;)

    Now that is really funny!
    If my daughter throws a tantrum I usually try to start a activity by myself like coloring or playing with a toy. Sometimes she waches for a while then comes over to play, and sometimes she will grab it out of my hand and throw it so I will notice her crying and yelling.
    Usually she only does this if she is hungry or tired.
    Man kids are great.
    Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
    Sweep the Leg Johnny.
  • acoustic guy
    acoustic guy Posts: 3,770
    This morning I found my daughter playing with my dogs food bowl and water dish. She poured the water all over the floor and was smacking her hands in it. I try to show her that i am not happy buy being stern in my speaking but she does not care. LOL
    Ava....NO....Thats bad! I pull her away to clean it up. Ava.....NO Daddy needs to clean it up now! She rund in to play again.
    What do ya do. Too young to discipline her at 18 months, so what can you do becides clean it up and get her into a new thing to do?
    Ugg. ;)
    Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
    Sweep the Leg Johnny.
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    acoustic guy wrote:
    This morning I found my daughter playing with my dogs food bowl and water dish. She poured the water all over the floor and was smacking her hands in it. I try to show her that i am not happy buy being stern in my speaking but she does not care. LOL
    Ava....NO....Thats bad! I pull her away to clean it up. Ava.....NO Daddy needs to clean it up now! She rund in to play again.
    What do ya do. Too young to discipline her at 18 months, so what can you do becides clean it up and get her into a new thing to do?
    Ugg. ;)
    This may sound dorky but, get one of those plastic dishpans and fill it with water and soapy suds and put it on the kitchen floor on some towels that you are going to throw in the wash anyway. She will love it! :)
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • acoustic guy
    acoustic guy Posts: 3,770
    TrixieCat wrote:
    This may sound dorky but, get one of those plastic dishpans and fill it with water and soapy suds and put it on the kitchen floor on some towels that you are going to throw in the wash anyway. She will love it! :)

    Ahhh, good idea.
    But i can see her climbing into it and making a big mess.
    But then again, getting messy is what makes things fun for kids.
    Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
    Sweep the Leg Johnny.
  • redrock
    redrock Posts: 18,341
    acoustic guy wrote:
    This morning I found my daughter playing with my dogs food bowl and water dish. She poured the water all over the floor and was smacking her hands in it. I try to show her that i am not happy buy being stern in my speaking but she does not care. LOL

    Kids of her age LOVE playing in water - she's at it with whatever is at her level! As Trixie says, put a dishpan of water at her height and she'll have a ball! And... kids are messy so you clean up a lot!
  • anotherclone
    anotherclone Posts: 1,688
    My daughter is 7. She had maybe 10 tantrums in her whole life. We just ignored them and walked away and left her alone wherever she was and I think it just took all the wind out of her sails.

    After she was finished, I would say "hey, you did a great job calming yourself down" and give her a little hug.

    Reward the good and ignore the bad. Worked for us anyway.
  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    TrixieCat wrote:
    How old is she now?
    I have never been a fan of the whole ignore it, it will go away.
    She is throwing a tantrum because something is wrong, she is frustrated, something. I usually take the time to figure out what the problem is and let him know it is not acceptable.
    If he hits or throws something..off to the bathroom in the basement you go...he has a little stool he can sit on to chill out. Then I go in and tell him why I put him there.

    I'm sorry to pick on you here, Trixie but sitting on the naughty chair doesn't work when you're kids are that young. And most parents only tell the kids 'no' when there's danger involved. So if they want to throw a tantrum (get frustrated) because they can't have the matches, so be it. I just wanted to say that because sometimes logic doesn't always match up with reality. :)

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