Another parenting question!
Brain of J.Lo
Posts: 3,259
How do you handle tantrums at home?
My daughter just threw a 6 minute tantrum. We usually go on a walk about this time, but it's cold and raining today so we're stuck inside....so she's bored. Anyway, I just ignored her and eventually she decided to stop freaking out and then came over and hugged me...lol.
Anyway, do you just ignore tantrums at home and let them work themselves out? Or should I be putting her in time out or something, to show her that she's wrong?
My daughter just threw a 6 minute tantrum. We usually go on a walk about this time, but it's cold and raining today so we're stuck inside....so she's bored. Anyway, I just ignored her and eventually she decided to stop freaking out and then came over and hugged me...lol.
Anyway, do you just ignore tantrums at home and let them work themselves out? Or should I be putting her in time out or something, to show her that she's wrong?
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I just ignore him now. It doesn't make me angry. If anything it makes me giggle because he gets on the floor and scrunches up his little fists...
I have never been a fan of the whole ignore it, it will go away.
She is throwing a tantrum because something is wrong, she is frustrated, something. I usually take the time to figure out what the problem is and let him know it is not acceptable.
If he hits or throws something..off to the bathroom in the basement you go...he has a little stool he can sit on to chill out. Then I go in and tell him why I put him there.
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
I just catch his head, set him gently down to the floor, and he moves himself in a circle pattern until he gets bored.
I agree with mattcameronkicksbutt, its pretty comical actually.
yeah I think kids throw tantrums because they can't express their frustration and the grown ups aren't listening to them (seriously, I'm almost 30 and I still feel like throwing a tantrum when my dad won't listen to me). It's just like with my difficult friend, I have to stop ignoring her tantrums.
She's 20 months on Tuesday.
Yeah, it is definitely boredom/frustration that caused this. She does this frequently around this time on days we're stuck inside. On nice days, we go for a walk around this time. I think she must be able to tell time.
But yeah, maybe you should try that with your friend. Couldn't hurt, right?
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
lol, when Annabelle was around 13 or 14 months, she would ball up her fists and growl at us when she was mad. It was fucking hilarious.
how old is your kid?
a 6 minute tantrum is not so much a result of boredom as it is a result of frustration. after a 2 minute "ignore" attempt, you should try to engage the child in something constructive - ask why they are behaving in that manner etc., if they get louder or continue on the tantrum - then make a show of ignoring them. MAKE SURE THEY SEE THAT YOU ARE IGNORING THEM. and it should stop.
of course, all of this gets varied as a result of the age of the tantrum thrower.
I know you didn't say it, but what happens if they throw a tantrum in public? (I am just curious.)
(you answered the age thing. I am not a fast typer it seems
Holden gets like that. He gets all crazed like a caged animal. Somedays he is cool to play pirates, other days he has to get out.
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
The funniest part of this particular tantrum was that while I was ignoring her, she moved (mid-tantrum) to a spot on the floor where she felt I had a better view of her. And then she stopped for around 30 seconds or so to watch a commercial with a puppy on it, and then started up again...lol.
The fists balled up and the throwing themselves on the floor and squishing up their face is so funny.
Holden would ball up his fists, throw his head back and growl too. hahaha
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
And when they open one eye to make sure you are watching...or moving a little closer just to make sure you hear them sobbing. lmfao
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
The thing is, she is SOOO strong-willed, that engaging her in an activity when she's freaking out is absolutely impossible! I get the feeling that she just needs to go through it and just work it out herself. And then on the other side of it, she's totally happy and normal again.
Yeah, I haven't had to deal with the public tantrum yet. I plan to take the "leave the store (or wherever you are) until they calm down" method. I don't plan to walk around Target while she screams at me in the cart!
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
lol
She really likes ads with puppies on them.
My theory has been confirmed. She's standing next to me, trying to put on a zipped hoodie (over her head, no less) and saying "Bye-byes? Mama, bye-byes?" Poor kid!
I dog sat a dog that would run up to the tv when there was a dog on tv...not very relevant, ok, but odd.
can you go for a walk anyway? bundle up in lots of warm clothes and take a big umbrella and maybe cut it short?
That's what I am thinking. It could be fun
If I had a rain cover for the stroller, I would...but it's really pretty nasty now.
Besides, she's now growling at a picture of Spiderman, so this'll keep her happy until her lunch is ready....lol.
well, if she just needs to get the angry-frustration out, then at her age a tantrum actually IS appropriate behavior. But, maybe after she is smiling and happier/normal again you can ask her why she had a tantrum. (using normal appropriate language - and make sure you don't tell her why ie, "where you sad that we couldn't go for a walk?" since that will give her the impression that it is acceptable to carry on like that...that will be a hard habit to break.)
With kids at that age, after their tantrum I would ask them,
"why were you crying and upset?"
and in their limited vocab they would tell me roughly that they were "mad" or something along that line, so then I would say -
"when you get really ANGRY what else can you do?? how can you let me know that you are ANGRY!!"
then make a bit of a show at thinking hard about the answer, and say something like
"I know! you can say Miss .... I'm ANGRY!!! and you can maybe do this (Pantomime a funny feet stomp exagerated angry face) that way i will know and we can help you to feel not so angry! - doesn't that sound better? lets do that next time!"
"It's okay to be angry, but it's not okay to kick and scream and cry and hit (or any of the other things) because you might get hurt."
now in the stores, it is best to just leave the store, and let them have their fit in the car. and when they are done, a little coolness towards them, after explaining that a public tantrum is NOT acceptable ("use your words" theme) really does drive it home...
good luck!
Or I go to the gym and drop him off at the childcare room.
Or....oh how I hate to do this.....even embarassed to say it...:o take him to the mall to run around.
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
I wish I had the option, but my husband and I share a car! I do have the car once each week, though, on the days we go to Little Gym. I love the freedom!
How about getting out for just a bit in rain coats and under a umbrella? Or maybe a short outing to the store? Do you have a couple of friends you could do some play dates with, switch off houses? Anything to give her something she can look forward to.
It will be over quickly!
oxc
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
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UGH...I hate that. Too young to really discipline at this point. I just stick with the standby "NO NO NO NO". When she gets old enough for time-outs then you're golden.
Now that is really funny!
If my daughter throws a tantrum I usually try to start a activity by myself like coloring or playing with a toy. Sometimes she waches for a while then comes over to play, and sometimes she will grab it out of my hand and throw it so I will notice her crying and yelling.
Usually she only does this if she is hungry or tired.
Man kids are great.
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
Ava....NO....Thats bad! I pull her away to clean it up. Ava.....NO Daddy needs to clean it up now! She rund in to play again.
What do ya do. Too young to discipline her at 18 months, so what can you do becides clean it up and get her into a new thing to do?
Ugg.
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
And I don't feel right when you're gone away