Another parenting question!

Brain of J.Lo
Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
edited February 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
How do you handle tantrums at home?

My daughter just threw a 6 minute tantrum. We usually go on a walk about this time, but it's cold and raining today so we're stuck inside....so she's bored. Anyway, I just ignored her and eventually she decided to stop freaking out and then came over and hugged me...lol.

Anyway, do you just ignore tantrums at home and let them work themselves out? Or should I be putting her in time out or something, to show her that she's wrong?
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  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    How do you handle tantrums at home?

    My daughter just threw a 6 minute tantrum. We usually go on a walk about this time, but it's cold and raining today so we're stuck inside....so she's bored. Anyway, I just ignored her and eventually she decided to stop freaking out and then came over and hugged me...lol.

    Anyway, do you just ignore tantrums at home and let them work themselves out? Or should I be putting her in time out or something, to show her that she's wrong?

    I just ignore him now. It doesn't make me angry. If anything it makes me giggle because he gets on the floor and scrunches up his little fists... :D So I just walk away and then, THANKFULLY, HE gets the hint then and it doesn't take him long to snap out of it. It's the biting etc that bothers me because you can't ignore that.
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    How do you handle tantrums at home?

    My daughter just threw a 6 minute tantrum. We usually go on a walk about this time, but it's cold and raining today so we're stuck inside....so she's bored. Anyway, I just ignored her and eventually she decided to stop freaking out and then came over and hugged me...lol.

    Anyway, do you just ignore tantrums at home and let them work themselves out? Or should I be putting her in time out or something, to show her that she's wrong?
    How old is she now?
    I have never been a fan of the whole ignore it, it will go away.
    She is throwing a tantrum because something is wrong, she is frustrated, something. I usually take the time to figure out what the problem is and let him know it is not acceptable.
    If he hits or throws something..off to the bathroom in the basement you go...he has a little stool he can sit on to chill out. Then I go in and tell him why I put him there.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • Flannel Shirt
    Flannel Shirt Posts: 1,021
    My son as I mentioned is 1, and he has tantrums. he throws his head back and scrunches up (good thing I always catch it or he would be banging it on the floor, walls, his pack and play, etc.....I joke that I have become Patrick Roy of baby catching).

    I just catch his head, set him gently down to the floor, and he moves himself in a circle pattern until he gets bored.

    I agree with mattcameronkicksbutt, its pretty comical actually.
    All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    TrixieCat wrote:
    How old is she now?
    I have never been a fan of the whole ignore it, it will go away.
    She is throwing a tantrum because something is wrong, she is frustrated, something. I usually take the time to figure out what the problem is and let him know it is not acceptable.
    If he hits or throws something..off to the bathroom in the basement you go...he has a little stool he can sit on to chill out. Then I go in and tell him why I put him there.

    yeah I think kids throw tantrums because they can't express their frustration and the grown ups aren't listening to them (seriously, I'm almost 30 and I still feel like throwing a tantrum when my dad won't listen to me). It's just like with my difficult friend, I have to stop ignoring her tantrums.
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    TrixieCat wrote:
    How old is she now?
    I have never been a fan of the whole ignore it, it will go away.
    She is throwing a tantrum because something is wrong, she is frustrated, something. I usually take the time to figure out what the problem is and let him know it is not acceptable.
    If he hits or throws something..off to the bathroom in the basement you go...he has a little stool he can sit on to chill out. Then I go in and tell him why I put him there.

    She's 20 months on Tuesday.

    Yeah, it is definitely boredom/frustration that caused this. She does this frequently around this time on days we're stuck inside. On nice days, we go for a walk around this time. I think she must be able to tell time. ;):D
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    yeah I think kids throw tantrums because they can't express their frustration and the grown ups aren't listening to them (seriously, I'm almost 30 and I still feel like throwing a tantrum when my dad won't listen to me). It's just like with my difficult friend, I have to stop ignoring her tantrums.
    Especially at one year, they have the inability to state the problem for lack of the proper vocab.
    But yeah, maybe you should try that with your friend. Couldn't hurt, right?
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    MattCameronKicksButt wrote:
    I just ignore him now. It doesn't make me angry. If anything it makes me giggle because he gets on the floor and scrunches up his little fists... :D So I just walk away and then, THANKFULLY, HE gets the hint then and it doesn't take him long to snap out of it. It's the biting etc that bothers me because you can't ignore that.

    lol, when Annabelle was around 13 or 14 months, she would ball up her fists and growl at us when she was mad. It was fucking hilarious. :D
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A PARENT

    how old is your kid?

    a 6 minute tantrum is not so much a result of boredom as it is a result of frustration. after a 2 minute "ignore" attempt, you should try to engage the child in something constructive - ask why they are behaving in that manner etc., if they get louder or continue on the tantrum - then make a show of ignoring them. MAKE SURE THEY SEE THAT YOU ARE IGNORING THEM. and it should stop.

    of course, all of this gets varied as a result of the age of the tantrum thrower.

    I know you didn't say it, but what happens if they throw a tantrum in public? (I am just curious.)

    (you answered the age thing. I am not a fast typer it seems ;) )
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    She's 20 months on Tuesday.

    Yeah, it is definitely boredom/frustration that caused this. She does this frequently around this time on days we're stuck inside. On nice days, we go for a walk around this time. I think she must be able to tell time. ;):D
    Oh...gotcha.
    Holden gets like that. He gets all crazed like a caged animal. Somedays he is cool to play pirates, other days he has to get out.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    Flannel Shirt wrote:

    I agree with mattcameronkicksbutt, its pretty comical actually.

    The funniest part of this particular tantrum was that while I was ignoring her, she moved (mid-tantrum) to a spot on the floor where she felt I had a better view of her. And then she stopped for around 30 seconds or so to watch a commercial with a puppy on it, and then started up again...lol. :D Kids are fun! ;)
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    lol, when Annabelle was around 13 or 14 months, she would ball up her fists and growl at us when she was mad. It was fucking hilarious. :D
    It is like they all read the same manual in utero....lmfao
    The fists balled up and the throwing themselves on the floor and squishing up their face is so funny. :o
    Holden would ball up his fists, throw his head back and growl too. hahaha
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • Ms. Haiku
    Ms. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,389
    So, take this with a grain of salt. However, when I worked at a childcare, if someone was tantrumy or just out-of-sorts one of the childcare workers would sit with that child a little removed from the rest until all was back to normal. It's kindof like a time-out, but not really because that child has the adult there. The child knows that he/she is still ok, and it's just time to calm down.
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • meme
    meme Posts: 4,695
    Well, if she stopped by herself and then came to you and hugged you... I say you don't have a problem :)
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    The funniest part of this particular tantrum was that while I was ignoring her, she moved (mid-tantrum) to a spot on the floor where she felt I had a better view of her. And then she stopped for around 30 seconds or so to watch a commercial with a puppy on it, and then started up again...lol. :D Kids are fun! ;)
    Oh that takes the cake.
    And when they open one eye to make sure you are watching...or moving a little closer just to make sure you hear them sobbing. lmfao
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    failedpersephone wrote:
    DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A PARENT

    how old is your kid?

    a 6 minute tantrum is not so much a result of boredom as it is a result of frustration. after a 2 minute "ignore" attempt, you should try to engage the child in something constructive - ask why they are behaving in that manner etc., if they get louder or continue on the tantrum - then make a show of ignoring them. MAKE SURE THEY SEE THAT YOU ARE IGNORING THEM. and it should stop.

    of course, all of this gets varied as a result of the age of the tantrum thrower.

    I know you didn't say it, but what happens if they throw a tantrum in public? (I am just curious.)

    (you answered the age thing. I am not a fast typer it seems ;) )

    The thing is, she is SOOO strong-willed, that engaging her in an activity when she's freaking out is absolutely impossible! I get the feeling that she just needs to go through it and just work it out herself. And then on the other side of it, she's totally happy and normal again.

    Yeah, I haven't had to deal with the public tantrum yet. I plan to take the "leave the store (or wherever you are) until they calm down" method. I don't plan to walk around Target while she screams at me in the cart!
  • Ms. Haiku
    Ms. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,389
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    The funniest part of this particular tantrum was that while I was ignoring her, she moved (mid-tantrum) to a spot on the floor where she felt I had a better view of her. And then she stopped for around 30 seconds or so to watch a commercial with a puppy on it, and then started up again...lol. :D Kids are fun! ;)
    The visual is so CUTE! Not to laugh at your daughters pseudo-misery, but awwwwwwww :D
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    Ms. Haiku wrote:
    The visual is so CUTE! Not to laugh at your daughters pseudo-misery, but awwwwwwww :D

    lol :) I know, it was adorable.

    She really likes ads with puppies on them. :D She usually points and says "awwww, teddy!" (I think she thinks they're teddy bears...lol.)
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    TrixieCat wrote:
    Oh...gotcha.
    Holden gets like that. He gets all crazed like a caged animal. Somedays he is cool to play pirates, other days he has to get out.

    My theory has been confirmed. She's standing next to me, trying to put on a zipped hoodie (over her head, no less) and saying "Bye-byes? Mama, bye-byes?" Poor kid! :D
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    lol :) I know, it was adorable.

    She really likes ads with puppies on them. :D She usually points and says "awwww, teddy!" (I think she thinks they're teddy bears...lol.)

    I dog sat a dog that would run up to the tv when there was a dog on tv...not very relevant, ok, but odd.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    My theory has been confirmed. She's standing next to me, trying to put on a zipped hoodie (over her head, no less) and saying "Bye-byes? Mama, bye-byes?" Poor kid! :D

    can you go for a walk anyway? bundle up in lots of warm clothes and take a big umbrella and maybe cut it short?

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