What is it about white middle-class English people ...

FinsburyParkCarrots
FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
edited August 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
... who inhale their first bong and suddenly start putting on Jamaican accents? They go around festivals and poetry open mics polluting people's ears with interminable shite about "uprisin' an' resistance". They invariably look like Newton Faulkner (even the men), and wear multicoloured woollen crap, and try to cover up the fact that they went to Marlborough by saying "massive seriaaarsse" and "bless up, innit" between whinging about their mummy who is onto her fourth marriage (this time not to a woman but to a pipe stall salesman called Dave, in Florence).



Surely Fanch hath the answer. :D
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  • eyedclaar
    eyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Good question. On this side of the pond, they smoke a little weed and start acting all gangsta.
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  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Good question. On this side of the pond, they smoke a little weed and start acting all gangsta.


    We've got those, too. Even one of my nephews (the stoned one) thinks he's a Yardie this week.
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    Stoners are hilarious. I don't mean people who just smoke, that's fine, I mean the ones who buy into the "lifestyle", including the aforementioned multicoloured jumpers and jamaican accents. I wonder just how they feel people are supposed to appreciate the apparent profundity of their spoken word poetry/long-winded discussions of politics when they come from Hertfordshire and say stuff like "seeeeriously maaan, Marley's earliah shit is nuff better than the stuff on Legend".
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    Stoners are hilarious. I don't mean people who just smoke, that's fine, I mean the ones who buy into the "lifestyle", including the aforementioned multicoloured jumpers and jamaican accents. I wonder just how they feel people are supposed to appreciate the apparent profundity of their spoken word poetry/long-winded discussions of politics when they come from Hertfordshire and say stuff like "seeeeriously maaan, Marley's earliah shit is nuff better than the stuff on Legend".


    Exactofuckomundo.
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    Exactofuckomundo.
    Much better is to wear a turtleneck sweater and, in perfect sobriety, expound the virtues of free jazz and John Cage quotables ;)

    Seriously though, every time I see those jumpers at Camden market I have to laugh. You know, the ones that have an Aum & Paisley pattern :p
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    I haven't got a turtleneck sweater, you little cunt. :D
  • writersu
    writersu Posts: 1,867
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    ... who inhale their first bong and suddenly start putting on Jamaican accents? They go around festivals and poetry open mics polluting people's ears with interminable shite about "uprisin' an' resistance". They invariably look like Newton Faulkner (even the men), and wear multicoloured woollen crap, and try to cover up the fact that they went to Marlborough by saying "massive seriaaarsse" and "bless up, innit" between whinging about their mummy who is onto her fourth marriage (this time not to a woman but to a pipe stall salesman called Dave, in Florence).



    Surely Fanch hath the answer. :D


    It is because whilte middle class American people have nothing left to say except to quote others, or cop a funny thing someone else does, maybe.

    speaking for myself, who gave up bongs years ago, when you still could buy them at the forest preserves from guys in long jackets,......

    I still quote, Forrest Gump, Duey Cox, and now Juno because I find them funny as hell.

    What I REALLY HATE THOUGH, since we are heading that way,....(I think) is when someone who is an obvious dork, tries to "talk cool" just to try to be cool. I hope I never do that. I would look even more like an ass......
    Baby, You Wouldn't Last a Minute on The Creek......


    Together we will float like angels.........

    In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    I haven't got a turtleneck sweater, you little cunt. :D
    haha :D I'm kidding, and I'm talking about myself as much as you :p

    EDIT: I don't have a turtleneck sweater either, just to clarify.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • Cosmo
    Cosmo Posts: 12,225
    A couple of things:
    Ever know someone who considers themselves as 'Marijuana Conniseurs'? All the ever talk about is pot. You can bring up a concert or something and they will tell you what kind of pot they smoked at it... and how sticky it was... and how great it tasted... and how great the buzz was... but, nothing about the concert.
    The other thing is the accent by osmosis. Here in America, we are afflicted by the 'Blackscent'. That is, white suburban, middle-class fucks that speak Ebonics like they are from Compton or North Long Beach. They are not Snoop Dogg and come off looking and sounding like complete morons (i.e. Kevin Federline). It works for Snoop Dogg... let him have it. It sounds more like Vanilla Ice coming from Wonder Bread white boys from Palisades. And don't get me started on the Asian and Arabs that try to talk like Snoop Dogg.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    Cosmo wrote:
    A couple of things:
    Ever know someone who considers themselves as 'Marijuana Conniseurs'? All the ever talk about is pot. You can bring up a concert or something and they will tell you what kind of pot they smoked at it... and how sticky it was... and how great it tasted... and how great the buzz was... but, nothing about the concert.
    The other thing is the accent by osmosis. Here in America, we are afflicted by the 'Blackscent'. That is, white suburban, middle-class fucks that speak Ebonics like they are from Compton or North Long Beach. They are not Snoop Dogg and come off looking and sounding like complete morons (i.e. Kevin Federline). It works for Snoop Dogg... let him have it. It sounds more like Vanilla Ice coming from Wonder Bread white boys from Palisades. And don't get me started on the Asian and Arabs that try to talk like Snoop Dogg.
    I myself affect a certain amount of Compton and NY ebonics (excellent term btw :) ) for my own amusement sometimes but for purely light-hearted reasons and I certainly don't think I sound cool doing it, quite the opposite :p

    Something about referring to things as "mad chill son" in a bastard scottish/midlands accent as a white, middle-class guy with long hair and plaid shirts amuses me. Probably doesn't amuse anyone else... :( :D
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Cosmo wrote:
    A couple of things:
    Ever know someone who considers themselves as 'Marijuana Conniseurs'? All the ever talk about is pot. You can bring up a concert or something and they will tell you what kind of pot they smoked at it... and how sticky it was... and how great it tasted... and how great the buzz was... but, nothing about the concert.


    Yerp.
  • eyedclaar
    eyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Cosmo wrote:
    A couple of things:
    Ever know someone who considers themselves as 'Marijuana Conniseurs'? All the ever talk about is pot. You can bring up a concert or something and they will tell you what kind of pot they smoked at it... and how sticky it was... and how great it tasted... and how great the buzz was... but, nothing about the concert.
    The other thing is the accent by osmosis. Here in America, we are afflicted by the 'Blackscent'. That is, white suburban, middle-class fucks that speak Ebonics like they are from Compton or North Long Beach. They are not Snoop Dogg and come off looking and sounding like complete morons (i.e. Kevin Federline). It works for Snoop Dogg... let him have it. It sounds more like Vanilla Ice coming from Wonder Bread white boys from Palisades. And don't get me started on the Asian and Arabs that try to talk like Snoop Dogg.

    Shiiiiiiit nigga, the last post of yours that I dropped knowledge on was when I was puffin' some sticky green more wide-eyed than chill that all the playas call the White Widow.
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  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    knock em down Finscarrots
    knock em down
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • Cosmo
    Cosmo Posts: 12,225
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    I myself affect a certain amount of Compton and NY ebonics (excellent term btw :) ) for my own amusement sometimes but for purely light-hearted reasons and I certainly don't think I sound cool doing it, quite the opposite :p

    Something about referring to things as "mad chill son" in a bastard scottish/midlands accent as a white, middle-class guy with long hair and plaid shirts amuses me. Probably doesn't amuse anyone else... :( :D
    ...
    See... there's a difference. You do it to be funny... these fools do it because they think it makes them sound tough.
    You really need to see/hear these guys... it is funny. But, we aren't laughing with them... we are laughing at them.
    And seriously... about the Asian and Arab/Middle Eastern 'Gangsta' wannabes... it is fucking hilarious.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    Cosmo wrote:
    A couple of things:
    Ever know someone who considers themselves as 'Marijuana Conniseurs'? All the ever talk about is pot. You can bring up a concert or something and they will tell you what kind of pot they smoked at it... and how sticky it was... and how great it tasted... and how great the buzz was... but, nothing about the concert.
    The other thing is the accent by osmosis. Here in America, we are afflicted by the 'Blackscent'. That is, white suburban, middle-class fucks that speak Ebonics like they are from Compton or North Long Beach. They are not Snoop Dogg and come off looking and sounding like complete morons (i.e. Kevin Federline). It works for Snoop Dogg... let him have it. It sounds more like Vanilla Ice coming from Wonder Bread white boys from Palisades. And don't get me started on the Asian and Arabs that try to talk like Snoop Dogg.


    that my friend is hilarious stuff i just visualized when reading your post.
    nicely done.
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    I haven't got a turtleneck sweater, you little cunt. :D
    You should get one. They're hot. :o
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    TrixieCat wrote:
    You should get one. They're hot. :o


    My neck is twenty-one inches. I'd look like Wilfred from the Bash Street Kids. :D
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    I'm going to get a turtle neck sweater... they look cool as fuck.

    anyway.. white middle class English people... thats at least 4 things i hate... cannot compute.... too many expletives to get rid of... *kaboom*

    i dont hang around with dope smokers... i used to but then i grew up and realised sitting around with 14 people who cant open their own eyes unless its to see if there are any Doritos left wasnt much fun... now i get drunk and have a laugh, fight, sleep, puke and a shag... all at the same time
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • jamie uk
    jamie uk Posts: 3,812
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    My neck is twenty-one inches. I'd look like Wilfred from the Bash Street Kids. :D

    Nice ref' for the Americans Fins :D
    I came, I saw, I concurred.....
  • fanch75
    fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    ... who inhale their first bong and suddenly start putting on Jamaican accents? They go around festivals and poetry open mics polluting people's ears with interminable shite about "uprisin' an' resistance". They invariably look like Newton Faulkner (even the men), and wear multicoloured woollen crap, and try to cover up the fact that they went to Marlborough by saying "massive seriaaarsse" and "bless up, innit" between whinging about their mummy who is onto her fourth marriage (this time not to a woman but to a pipe stall salesman called Dave, in Florence).

    Surely Fanch hath the answer. :D

    What you are describing here are folks who are basic-level white. These folks are hitting the major talking points of the loves of white people, such as diversity, having black friends, being an expert on cultures other than their own, and having bad memories of their childhood. They may also tell you a story about how they got high with a Jamaican once while traveling abroad, making them experts on Jamaican marijuana. You will instantly earn their respect if you make up a story about how Jamaican marijuana is the best in the world.

    This is in comparison to advanced-level white people, who would begin writing global warming poems, and playing accoustic songs about poor people who vote Republican, organic food, and grocery co-ops. If you want to become friends with high advanced-level white people, suggest immediately doing a sit-in at the local WalMart.
    Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?

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