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What is it about white middle-class English people ...

FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
edited August 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
... who inhale their first bong and suddenly start putting on Jamaican accents? They go around festivals and poetry open mics polluting people's ears with interminable shite about "uprisin' an' resistance". They invariably look like Newton Faulkner (even the men), and wear multicoloured woollen crap, and try to cover up the fact that they went to Marlborough by saying "massive seriaaarsse" and "bless up, innit" between whinging about their mummy who is onto her fourth marriage (this time not to a woman but to a pipe stall salesman called Dave, in Florence).



Surely Fanch hath the answer. :D
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  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Good question. On this side of the pond, they smoke a little weed and start acting all gangsta.
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  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Good question. On this side of the pond, they smoke a little weed and start acting all gangsta.


    We've got those, too. Even one of my nephews (the stoned one) thinks he's a Yardie this week.
  • Jeremy1012Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    Stoners are hilarious. I don't mean people who just smoke, that's fine, I mean the ones who buy into the "lifestyle", including the aforementioned multicoloured jumpers and jamaican accents. I wonder just how they feel people are supposed to appreciate the apparent profundity of their spoken word poetry/long-winded discussions of politics when they come from Hertfordshire and say stuff like "seeeeriously maaan, Marley's earliah shit is nuff better than the stuff on Legend".
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    Stoners are hilarious. I don't mean people who just smoke, that's fine, I mean the ones who buy into the "lifestyle", including the aforementioned multicoloured jumpers and jamaican accents. I wonder just how they feel people are supposed to appreciate the apparent profundity of their spoken word poetry/long-winded discussions of politics when they come from Hertfordshire and say stuff like "seeeeriously maaan, Marley's earliah shit is nuff better than the stuff on Legend".


    Exactofuckomundo.
  • Jeremy1012Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    Exactofuckomundo.
    Much better is to wear a turtleneck sweater and, in perfect sobriety, expound the virtues of free jazz and John Cage quotables ;)

    Seriously though, every time I see those jumpers at Camden market I have to laugh. You know, the ones that have an Aum & Paisley pattern :p
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    I haven't got a turtleneck sweater, you little cunt. :D
  • writersuwritersu Posts: 1,867
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    ... who inhale their first bong and suddenly start putting on Jamaican accents? They go around festivals and poetry open mics polluting people's ears with interminable shite about "uprisin' an' resistance". They invariably look like Newton Faulkner (even the men), and wear multicoloured woollen crap, and try to cover up the fact that they went to Marlborough by saying "massive seriaaarsse" and "bless up, innit" between whinging about their mummy who is onto her fourth marriage (this time not to a woman but to a pipe stall salesman called Dave, in Florence).



    Surely Fanch hath the answer. :D


    It is because whilte middle class American people have nothing left to say except to quote others, or cop a funny thing someone else does, maybe.

    speaking for myself, who gave up bongs years ago, when you still could buy them at the forest preserves from guys in long jackets,......

    I still quote, Forrest Gump, Duey Cox, and now Juno because I find them funny as hell.

    What I REALLY HATE THOUGH, since we are heading that way,....(I think) is when someone who is an obvious dork, tries to "talk cool" just to try to be cool. I hope I never do that. I would look even more like an ass......
    Baby, You Wouldn't Last a Minute on The Creek......


    Together we will float like angels.........

    In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
  • Jeremy1012Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    I haven't got a turtleneck sweater, you little cunt. :D
    haha :D I'm kidding, and I'm talking about myself as much as you :p

    EDIT: I don't have a turtleneck sweater either, just to clarify.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    A couple of things:
    Ever know someone who considers themselves as 'Marijuana Conniseurs'? All the ever talk about is pot. You can bring up a concert or something and they will tell you what kind of pot they smoked at it... and how sticky it was... and how great it tasted... and how great the buzz was... but, nothing about the concert.
    The other thing is the accent by osmosis. Here in America, we are afflicted by the 'Blackscent'. That is, white suburban, middle-class fucks that speak Ebonics like they are from Compton or North Long Beach. They are not Snoop Dogg and come off looking and sounding like complete morons (i.e. Kevin Federline). It works for Snoop Dogg... let him have it. It sounds more like Vanilla Ice coming from Wonder Bread white boys from Palisades. And don't get me started on the Asian and Arabs that try to talk like Snoop Dogg.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • Jeremy1012Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    Cosmo wrote:
    A couple of things:
    Ever know someone who considers themselves as 'Marijuana Conniseurs'? All the ever talk about is pot. You can bring up a concert or something and they will tell you what kind of pot they smoked at it... and how sticky it was... and how great it tasted... and how great the buzz was... but, nothing about the concert.
    The other thing is the accent by osmosis. Here in America, we are afflicted by the 'Blackscent'. That is, white suburban, middle-class fucks that speak Ebonics like they are from Compton or North Long Beach. They are not Snoop Dogg and come off looking and sounding like complete morons (i.e. Kevin Federline). It works for Snoop Dogg... let him have it. It sounds more like Vanilla Ice coming from Wonder Bread white boys from Palisades. And don't get me started on the Asian and Arabs that try to talk like Snoop Dogg.
    I myself affect a certain amount of Compton and NY ebonics (excellent term btw :) ) for my own amusement sometimes but for purely light-hearted reasons and I certainly don't think I sound cool doing it, quite the opposite :p

    Something about referring to things as "mad chill son" in a bastard scottish/midlands accent as a white, middle-class guy with long hair and plaid shirts amuses me. Probably doesn't amuse anyone else... :( :D
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Cosmo wrote:
    A couple of things:
    Ever know someone who considers themselves as 'Marijuana Conniseurs'? All the ever talk about is pot. You can bring up a concert or something and they will tell you what kind of pot they smoked at it... and how sticky it was... and how great it tasted... and how great the buzz was... but, nothing about the concert.


    Yerp.
  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Cosmo wrote:
    A couple of things:
    Ever know someone who considers themselves as 'Marijuana Conniseurs'? All the ever talk about is pot. You can bring up a concert or something and they will tell you what kind of pot they smoked at it... and how sticky it was... and how great it tasted... and how great the buzz was... but, nothing about the concert.
    The other thing is the accent by osmosis. Here in America, we are afflicted by the 'Blackscent'. That is, white suburban, middle-class fucks that speak Ebonics like they are from Compton or North Long Beach. They are not Snoop Dogg and come off looking and sounding like complete morons (i.e. Kevin Federline). It works for Snoop Dogg... let him have it. It sounds more like Vanilla Ice coming from Wonder Bread white boys from Palisades. And don't get me started on the Asian and Arabs that try to talk like Snoop Dogg.

    Shiiiiiiit nigga, the last post of yours that I dropped knowledge on was when I was puffin' some sticky green more wide-eyed than chill that all the playas call the White Widow.
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  • chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    knock em down Finscarrots
    knock em down
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    I myself affect a certain amount of Compton and NY ebonics (excellent term btw :) ) for my own amusement sometimes but for purely light-hearted reasons and I certainly don't think I sound cool doing it, quite the opposite :p

    Something about referring to things as "mad chill son" in a bastard scottish/midlands accent as a white, middle-class guy with long hair and plaid shirts amuses me. Probably doesn't amuse anyone else... :( :D
    ...
    See... there's a difference. You do it to be funny... these fools do it because they think it makes them sound tough.
    You really need to see/hear these guys... it is funny. But, we aren't laughing with them... we are laughing at them.
    And seriously... about the Asian and Arab/Middle Eastern 'Gangsta' wannabes... it is fucking hilarious.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    Cosmo wrote:
    A couple of things:
    Ever know someone who considers themselves as 'Marijuana Conniseurs'? All the ever talk about is pot. You can bring up a concert or something and they will tell you what kind of pot they smoked at it... and how sticky it was... and how great it tasted... and how great the buzz was... but, nothing about the concert.
    The other thing is the accent by osmosis. Here in America, we are afflicted by the 'Blackscent'. That is, white suburban, middle-class fucks that speak Ebonics like they are from Compton or North Long Beach. They are not Snoop Dogg and come off looking and sounding like complete morons (i.e. Kevin Federline). It works for Snoop Dogg... let him have it. It sounds more like Vanilla Ice coming from Wonder Bread white boys from Palisades. And don't get me started on the Asian and Arabs that try to talk like Snoop Dogg.


    that my friend is hilarious stuff i just visualized when reading your post.
    nicely done.
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • TrixieCatTrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    I haven't got a turtleneck sweater, you little cunt. :D
    You should get one. They're hot. :o
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    TrixieCat wrote:
    You should get one. They're hot. :o


    My neck is twenty-one inches. I'd look like Wilfred from the Bash Street Kids. :D
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    I'm going to get a turtle neck sweater... they look cool as fuck.

    anyway.. white middle class English people... thats at least 4 things i hate... cannot compute.... too many expletives to get rid of... *kaboom*

    i dont hang around with dope smokers... i used to but then i grew up and realised sitting around with 14 people who cant open their own eyes unless its to see if there are any Doritos left wasnt much fun... now i get drunk and have a laugh, fight, sleep, puke and a shag... all at the same time
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • jamie ukjamie uk Posts: 3,812
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    My neck is twenty-one inches. I'd look like Wilfred from the Bash Street Kids. :D

    Nice ref' for the Americans Fins :D
    I came, I saw, I concurred.....
  • fanch75fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    ... who inhale their first bong and suddenly start putting on Jamaican accents? They go around festivals and poetry open mics polluting people's ears with interminable shite about "uprisin' an' resistance". They invariably look like Newton Faulkner (even the men), and wear multicoloured woollen crap, and try to cover up the fact that they went to Marlborough by saying "massive seriaaarsse" and "bless up, innit" between whinging about their mummy who is onto her fourth marriage (this time not to a woman but to a pipe stall salesman called Dave, in Florence).

    Surely Fanch hath the answer. :D

    What you are describing here are folks who are basic-level white. These folks are hitting the major talking points of the loves of white people, such as diversity, having black friends, being an expert on cultures other than their own, and having bad memories of their childhood. They may also tell you a story about how they got high with a Jamaican once while traveling abroad, making them experts on Jamaican marijuana. You will instantly earn their respect if you make up a story about how Jamaican marijuana is the best in the world.

    This is in comparison to advanced-level white people, who would begin writing global warming poems, and playing accoustic songs about poor people who vote Republican, organic food, and grocery co-ops. If you want to become friends with high advanced-level white people, suggest immediately doing a sit-in at the local WalMart.
    Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    fanch75 wrote:
    What you are describing here are folks who are basic-level white. These folks are hitting the major talking points of the loves of white people, such as diversity, having black friends, being an expert on cultures other than their own, and having bad memories of their childhood. They may also tell you a story about how they got high with a Jamaican once while traveling abroad, making them experts on Jamaican marijuana. You will instantly earn their respect if you make up a story about how Jamaican marijuana is the best in the world.

    This is in comparison to advanced-level white people, who would begin writing global warming poems, and playing accoustic songs about poor people who vote Republican, organic food, and grocery co-ops. If you want to become friends with high advanced-level white people, suggest immediately doing a sit-in at the local WalMart.


    It's these "advanced level" whites who are the ones holding these sit-ins but talking as if they're from Kingston (and not Kingston-upon-Thames either). It's a bizarre phenomenon. I'll look for youtube examples!
  • fotdfotd Posts: 514
    fanch75 wrote:

    This is in comparison to advanced-level white people, who would begin writing global warming poems, and playing accoustic songs about poor people who vote Republican, organic food, and grocery co-ops. If you want to become friends with high advanced-level white people, suggest immediately doing a sit-in at the local WalMart.

    We should burn the wal-marts to the ground. I never understood how poor folks can vote republican.

    As for the kids in the OC, lookin at you Cosmo, it's cause they think Lil Wayne and Marley is the only thing you can smoke a blunt to. I always tried to get them to realize that art-rock, jambands are so much better to get baked to and play video games for hours.
    I’ve seen Pearl Jam 25 times, Eddie Vedder 9 times, and Brad once.
  • fanch75fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    fotd wrote:
    We should burn the wal-marts to the ground. I never understood how poor folks can vote republican.

    As for the kids in the OC, lookin at you Cosmo, it's cause they think Lil Wayne and Marley is the only thing you can smoke a blunt to. I always tried to get them to realize that art-rock, jambands are so much better to get baked to and play video games for hours.

    What do you think about Coldplay?
    Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?
  • CollinCollin Posts: 4,931
    fotd wrote:
    We should burn the wal-marts to the ground. I never understood how poor folks can vote republican.

    As for the kids in the OC, lookin at you Cosmo, it's cause they think Lil Wayne and Marley is the only thing you can smoke a blunt to. I always tried to get them to realize that art-rock, jambands are so much better to get baked to and play video games for hours.

    You can toke to anything except Lil Wayne (edit: and except to coldplay).
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


    naděje umírá poslední
  • Jearlpam0925Jearlpam0925 Deep South Philly Posts: 17,118
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    ... who inhale their first bong and suddenly start putting on Jamaican accents? They go around festivals and poetry open mics polluting people's ears with interminable shite about "uprisin' an' resistance". They invariably look like Newton Faulkner (even the men), and wear multicoloured woollen crap, and try to cover up the fact that they went to Marlborough by saying "massive seriaaarsse" and "bless up, innit" between whinging about their mummy who is onto her fourth marriage (this time not to a woman but to a pipe stall salesman called Dave, in Florence).



    Surely Fanch hath the answer. :D


    Yeah, ummm.... I guess you run into this a lot? Usually middle-class white people on this side end up putting on "Dark Side of the Moon" with the Wizard of Oz and eat cheeto's.
  • lephtylephty Posts: 770
    when i am drunk, i tend to speak spanish...

    when i am stoned, i have a british accent...

    don't ask me why! it just happens
  • writersuwritersu Posts: 1,867
    fanch75 wrote:
    What you are describing here are folks who are basic-level white. These folks are hitting the major talking points of the loves of white people, such as diversity, having black friends, being an expert on cultures other than their own, and having bad memories of their childhood. They may also tell you a story about how they got high with a Jamaican once while traveling abroad, making them experts on Jamaican marijuana. You will instantly earn their respect if you make up a story about how Jamaican marijuana is the best in the world.

    This is in comparison to advanced-level white people, who would begin writing global warming poems, and playing accoustic songs about poor people who vote Republican, organic food, and grocery co-ops. If you want to become friends with high advanced-level white people, suggest immediately doing a sit-in at the local WalMart.

    off subject but kind of the same thing.....

    a friend who has kids at the same school as my kids and she went years ago to see Madonna play a concert here in Chicago. Madonna was on this conserving energy thing and she made the venue turn off their air conditioning. Everyone was sweatiing their butts off there.
    But in the lot, where all the trucks, etc., whatever stars bring to perform are carried, they had a massive engine running the whole time, evidently SHE was not sweating with no air.
    Baby, You Wouldn't Last a Minute on The Creek......


    Together we will float like angels.........

    In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
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