i really didnt take enough advantage of easy college girls...

soulsinging wrote:

anyway, the point of this thread is about feminism. why do we give feminists such a hard time when they have made it so much easier to sleep with more girls and made it ok for women to go down on each other buck naked in public while being cheered on by a crowd? this is great news!

Hey good point. And here was me thinking that feminism was all about being highly strung and lacking a sense of fun.

I thought you took advantage of plenty of easy college chicks back in your day. I know I didn't do it enough. I don't think I figured out how it works until I was almost finished uni.

soulsinging wrote:

long as i dont have to use the weed or alcohol, it sounds brilliant. the problem is i dont know a lot of college girls and dont have a swimming pool.

wait a minute you do know one college girl and it's me

your thread reminds me of this song

I need an easy friend
I do with an ear to lend
I do think you fit this shoe
I do won't you have a clue
I'll take advantage while
You hang me out to dry
But I can't see you every night
Free

I'm standing in your line
I do hope you have the time
I do pick a number too
I do keep a date with you

tara wrote:

men are a pain in the ass to take advantage of, they always wake up and tell you how pretty your eyes are, and want to start a relationship

We're just suckers for good sex. We get played all the time.

soulsinging wrote:

becos the book seems to imply the girls engaging in this sort of behavior by and large have emotional problems because of it. ever see arrested development? it seems there's a lot of truth to the "girls with low self esteem" video series.

did you read the book? i'd be curious to hear if the book focuses more on the cultural shift part. the article is pretty vague about the impact--it says some girls are okay with this while others aren't, and then the article gives a few detailed examples only of those who are not.

but now that you say girls 'by and large have emotional problems because of it' , you still wish you would have taken more advantage of that?

soulsinging wrote:

no, i didnt read the book. im going by the blurb and description it gave, which seems dubious of the easy sex movement. im saying that if the girls are handing out free samples, i dont know why i didnt take more and it's not my problem how they react to it (good or bad) if they're willing to give it away so easily. so yeah, if it causes emotional problems, i shoulda taken more advantage, if it doesnt, i still shoulda taken more advantage.

So you regret not being part of the problem more often?

How they respond may not be your problem, but your actions and if you act in unhealthy ways, exhibiting low self-esteem and lacking self-respect or emotional intelligence IS your problem.

surferdude wrote:

I take that period of my life to be one of learning and gaining confidence. For me, I learned that hit and run sex while great wasn't what I really wanted. I gained the confidence to learn that it's ok that it's not for me and I can still be cool on the football team or what not. I learned that way more important than fitting into some pre-defined role, that happiness was staying true to myself. By the end of college I was fine with turning down easy sex, a relationship is much more fulfilling.

Though I still hate myself for turning down sex with this one girl, damn she was a perfect 10. But I really liked her and didn't think the hurt afterward would have been worth the prize. Now that I'm older and wiser I should have let her have her ways, take a few trophy pictures as a momento and let my heart heal with time. Live and learn.

My promiscuous decade certainly was a learning experience for me as well. Having been one of those girls who objectified herself, keeping aloof of attachment, I gained some insights into some of the underlying dynamics. One important insight is that I was 100% responsible for my actions that were causing problems for me. My actions reflected on where I was in my life. Another basic insight I gained is that the other person involved in any of these 'interactions' was 100% responsible for their actions, which reflected on where they were in their life. Both myself and the other person together mutually and jointly created such one night stands.

It sounds like regarding the girl who was the perfect 10, you were honouring your emotional intelligence and not objectifying yourself or the girl. I wonder why in hindsight, the idea of selling your one-time vulnerability and feelings down the river makes sense. It looks like you are detaching and distancing yourself from the self-respecting insights you had at the time, and from which you made your decisions. Therefore it sounds like your regrets about this girl is more about fantasy than reality. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

soulsinging wrote:

i don't see any lack of self-esteem or unhealthiness in wanting to sleep with as many attractive women as i could while i was in college and it was acceptable and easy to do.

Of course you may not.

soulsinging wrote:

huh? may not what?

any emotional issues i had had more to do with lack of sex than anything else. nailing a few hot girls can do wonders for a guy's confidence. so sleeping with a few girls who are giving it away might have done my self-esteem more good than bad.

You said you don't see any unhealthiness and lack of self-esteem in wanting to sleep with as many...."

You are entitled to see it how you want to.

To clarify my view, I think there is a difference between boosting one's ego and having health and self-esteem. And that is not to say I am challenging your point of view because I don't know enough about it to judge. What I was initially saying is that regarding your first statement I responded to, you would not be responsible for the women being messed up, but you would be responsible for contributing to it and fuelling it and for your own issues that would be the foundation for doing so. Just like you are responsible when you are being constructive given any situation.