disjecta membra

paranoia is a fine art
it isn't easy to be paranoid
you have to be a categorist
you put strange coincidences in categories
and assemble them like lego
you fit together a jigsaw of
disparate pieces
and all the time
scared out of your brain
tell yourself it's not real

then there's delusions
similar to paranoia
somebody says something
you latch onto it
you read something somewhere
or hear a song
it sounds like your life -
they're watching you!!!!!
oh the fear
your imagination takes you to
scenes of mutilation and torture
with satanists following you
and you find that yes, you are the
whore of Babylon
or Israel himself
and all the little details match
you spend a lot of time
figuring out what's 'really going on'...
you saw them there...
and they followed you....
you overheard somebody
trying to catch what they said
now you wear your headphones
the bushes said 'yes'
when you worried about self-esteem
and you peered into their verdant trap

you dream of vampires
you're slightly prescient
you know that you cause accidents
to people you don't like
it's not your fault - you're mad

psychosis is a teacher
it teaches you to be afraid
you are buffeted and tossed
on waves
psychosis is a leach
it steals your vitality
you are immortal
and you are always going to suffer
because you are crazy
you're not lazy
you get sad
and can't do anything
cos you're crying
you suffer more than anyone
so you must be close to God
you've been to Hell
(pretty bad place)
you don't know why you ended up being
mad - it's not fair
but you're so scared
it scares you....
psychosis is a break from life
it's death
it's torture
and you remember
but you live
cos you have strength
and that's why
they're after you