Poems by PastaNazi

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Comments

  • violet ray
    violet ray Posts: 502
    Originally posted by PastaNazi
    that's only gonna work if it's 406 miles long, babe, lol


    of course i'm talking to YOU :D
    can't literally tongue
    might as well talk, eh?

    :eek:

    :)
    You ask me to enter
    But then You make me crawl
    And I can't be holding on
    To what You got
    When all You've got is hurt
    ----
    Underneath this smile lies everything
    All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    :)


    ideas???


    lol ;)
  • violet ray
    violet ray Posts: 502
    It was easy to do.
    To find flight in hope's mirrored promise?
    I wish that I didn't, but...
    I needed you, too.


    i keep going back to this one...
    You ask me to enter
    But then You make me crawl
    And I can't be holding on
    To what You got
    When all You've got is hurt
    ----
    Underneath this smile lies everything
    All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
  • violet ray
    violet ray Posts: 502
    that empty room one too...woah...
    You ask me to enter
    But then You make me crawl
    And I can't be holding on
    To what You got
    When all You've got is hurt
    ----
    Underneath this smile lies everything
    All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
  • violet ray
    violet ray Posts: 502
    Originally posted by PastaNazi
    :)


    ideas???


    lol ;)

    ha, are you talking to me?
    the brain is so very cloudy today...
    You ask me to enter
    But then You make me crawl
    And I can't be holding on
    To what You got
    When all You've got is hurt
    ----
    Underneath this smile lies everything
    All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
  • violet ray
    violet ray Posts: 502
    Originally posted by PastaNazi
    An impression came…
    four floating discs,
    Meniscuses circling around the same plane
    Connected at some invisible center
    A lightly blue grain
    To the edge
    And the outward of each

    Tripped my eye
    While my mind fumbled
    To understand
    What it meant

    Meanwhile my mouth
    on the line with a man
    twisted
    fighting (as usual)
    To understand
    What I meant

    When I said,
    “I love you, that shit don’t change”
    (Knowing full well that life sometimes lies.)
    I’m not. But life does.
    Like those guys.
    Sometimes.

    My apologies to everyone
    that abandon the blue.
    I’m an optimist
    With pessimist
    breath
    Aren’t you?

    So back to the mirage
    Impressionist pane
    Could four floating discs
    Be dimensionally same?

    love it
    true PN style...
    hell, i could quote them all and reply...
    you know how i feel about your writing ;)
    You ask me to enter
    But then You make me crawl
    And I can't be holding on
    To what You got
    When all You've got is hurt
    ----
    Underneath this smile lies everything
    All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    oh violet! thank you....

    that emptyrooms one got me banned someplace

    lol...

    but yeah... thank you :)
  • grooveamatic
    grooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    Originally posted by PastaNazi
    I suppose I have
    a Hard Time Dying
    Wringing hands
    In empty rooms
    Once filled To the gills
    With “friends” dripping sucrose “I love you’s”
    All Day Long.

    I’m allergic to aspartame
    like I’m allergic to pain.
    like I’m allergic to liars
    dirty mirrors and
    stingy lovers.

    FUCK YOU

    Enjoy your little room.
    I’ll try to fall
    in love
    with mine.

    As tired as I can get of bleeding heart, broken-hearted angry poems, this is pretty good. I feel it. It's visceral. I like the aspartame and sucrose...they sit the poem on the floor and spin it.

    I'd do away with the 'FUCK YOU" though. Seems unnecessary.
    .........................................................................
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    hey, thanks, groove...

    you know, it's funny. how tired I grow of the angry poems and the broken heart... i mean how many ways can so many people say the same thing?

    the f u can be easily removed and not missed, can't it?
  • grooveamatic
    grooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    Originally posted by PastaNazi


    the f u can be easily removed and not missed, can't it?

    I really think so...it's your poem though, man, if you are really feelin' that line, by all means, keep it. I just think if one is going to curse in a poem, it had better be pretty necessary. I think your poem would sound a lot classier without it.

    Hope that helps. :)
    .........................................................................
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    hey WOW...

    is the EDIT fuction disabled???

    Coooooool :)


    that last comment refers to the edit suggestion and nothing else, promise...
  • grooveamatic
    grooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    I was wondering if it was just me...I tried to edit a post awhile ago and wouldn't let me. Strange.

    I'm off to work. Good day!
    .........................................................................
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    hey, yeah... absolutely...

    i actually agree completely


    thanks
  • the unseen
    the unseen Posts: 372
    Originally posted by PastaNazi
    hey, thanks, groove...

    you know, it's funny. how tired I grow of the angry poems and the broken heart... i mean how many ways can so many people say the same thing?

    the f u can be easily removed and not missed, can't it?

    wow.

    fucking a wow.

    poetry is about emotion,and what people are feeling at a time in place.

    to the person writing a poem about a broken heart,to that person,it's as unique as they are,because they are expressing feelings that they are feeling at the time........

    just as the person writing a poem of extreme love is writing about what they feel within their heart at the moment.

    do we grow tired of those expressions ...have they been played out as well?


    so i humbly reinsert the fuck you,to those that want to try and limit what people express in this forum.
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    right on
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    but allow me to come up with something better than just right on, k? i've way more thoughts on this than i am prepared to type right now

    regardless... thank you
    good to hear it again
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    unseen...
    my opinion on poetry is that it's one person's take on a situation
    and EVERY poet should do so with pride, and not hold themselves at fault if somebody else doesn't get it, or god forbid, doesn't like it.

    we write what's in our hearts and on our minds

    and sometimes, we change it once it's been written for whatever reason there may be

    our pieces
    our perogatives

    some of us ask for an are open to suggestion, some of us just really like giving suggestions

    you've always been the poet to say fuck you and your presumptuous suggestions... it's admirable... always has been

    and there are a lot of people like that


    so... I apologize for offending you or anyone else with the comment above. Peace to you.
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    an...

    that is to say, "and", with a "d"...

    it looks like typos are going to be lots of fun, now :)
  • grooveamatic
    grooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    Originally posted by the unseen
    wow.

    fucking a wow.

    poetry is about emotion,and what people are feeling at a time in place.

    to the person writing a poem about a broken heart,to that person,it's as unique as they are,because they are expressing feelings that they are feeling at the time........

    just as the person writing a poem of extreme love is writing about what they feel within their heart at the moment.

    do we grow tired of those expressions ...have they been played out as well?


    so i humbly reinsert the fuck you,to those that want to try and limit what people express in this forum.

    I'll make sure never to make suggestions again. Also, I'll always leave every poem I write just like it is, and never edit or proofread it. Thanks for opening my eyes.
    .........................................................................
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    groove...

    i dig suggestions...
    so, you know...

    don't...

    and stuff


    :)


    honest, I appreciate comments on my poetry, especially suggestions as to how to make them better... i know not everyone is this way, or writes with this "intent" or whatever... but it's totally cool with me

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