Originally posted by PastaNazi that's only gonna work if it's 406 miles long, babe, lol
of course i'm talking to YOU
can't literally tongue
might as well talk, eh?
LMFAO!!!! EXACTLY!!!!
LOL!
Shoot, I gotta go home now but thanks for stopping by and having giggles! 'Twas fun! I miss the old days (tenacious one) and the old crew, man did we ever have a gas there for awhile, huh? Ah well, "the times they are a changin'". This was short but very sweet, PN. It was really nice to fool around on here again with ya today.
Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
Originally posted by PastaNazi I suppose I have
a Hard Time Dying
Wringing hands
In empty rooms
Once filled To the gills
With “friends” dripping sucrose “I love you’s”
All Day Long.
I’m allergic to aspartame
like I’m allergic to pain.
like I’m allergic to liars
dirty mirrors and
stingy lovers.
FUCK YOU
Enjoy your little room.
I’ll try to fall
in love
with mine.
Apricots Rained down last night
Glowing lightly tangerine
beneath my highly o’ersized tree
I waddle ‘round upon my knees
and turn the slug-fruit in my hand
to toss it in the plastic bag.
This tree, always over-ripe
and overbearing fruit not wanted
can’t be stopped
and wont be daunted
Single tracked its effort sway.
To give the children treats to eat
and give the children’s pink skin shade.
I flicked cigarette butts off the edge of pain and he trailed them with his insight, thinking, "man, she's gotta quit that. She's gotta quit staring down the drain all the time. I mean, I know she's hip to vortices and gravities, genuities taken up, folded in half, and tucked under her soul's arm, right next door to where the ache turns joy into water salt taffy that sticks to her cheeks when she cries. Oh, it's sweet, alright. Such a transparent mess that can only been seen from a side."
"He isn't Just Some Guy," Miss Amelia's mother sighed. "He isn't Just Some Guy."
An impression came…
four floating discs,
Meniscuses circling around the same plane
Connected at some invisible center
A lightly blue grain
To the edge
And the outward of each
Tripped my eye
While my mind fumbled
To understand
What it meant
Meanwhile my mouth
on the line with a man
twisted
fighting (as usual)
To understand
What I meant
When I said,
“I love you, that shit don’t change”
(Knowing full well that life sometimes lies.)
I’m not. But life does.
Like those guys.
Sometimes.
My apologies to everyone
that abandon the blue.
I’m an optimist
With pessimist
breath
Aren’t you?
So back to the mirage
Impressionist pane
Could four floating discs
Be dimensionally same?
Originally posted by PastaNazi that's only gonna work if it's 406 miles long, babe, lol
of course i'm talking to YOU
can't literally tongue
might as well talk, eh?
:eek:
You ask me to enter
But then You make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what You got
When all You've got is hurt
----
Underneath this smile lies everything
All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
It was easy to do.
To find flight in hope's mirrored promise?
I wish that I didn't, but...
I needed you, too.
i keep going back to this one...
You ask me to enter
But then You make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what You got
When all You've got is hurt
----
Underneath this smile lies everything
All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
You ask me to enter
But then You make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what You got
When all You've got is hurt
----
Underneath this smile lies everything
All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
ha, are you talking to me?
the brain is so very cloudy today...
You ask me to enter
But then You make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what You got
When all You've got is hurt
----
Underneath this smile lies everything
All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
Originally posted by PastaNazi An impression came…
four floating discs,
Meniscuses circling around the same plane
Connected at some invisible center
A lightly blue grain
To the edge
And the outward of each
Tripped my eye
While my mind fumbled
To understand
What it meant
Meanwhile my mouth
on the line with a man
twisted
fighting (as usual)
To understand
What I meant
When I said,
“I love you, that shit don’t change”
(Knowing full well that life sometimes lies.)
I’m not. But life does.
Like those guys.
Sometimes.
My apologies to everyone
that abandon the blue.
I’m an optimist
With pessimist
breath
Aren’t you?
So back to the mirage
Impressionist pane
Could four floating discs
Be dimensionally same?
love it
true PN style...
hell, i could quote them all and reply...
you know how i feel about your writing
You ask me to enter
But then You make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what You got
When all You've got is hurt
----
Underneath this smile lies everything
All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
Originally posted by PastaNazi I suppose I have
a Hard Time Dying
Wringing hands
In empty rooms
Once filled To the gills
With “friends” dripping sucrose “I love you’s”
All Day Long.
I’m allergic to aspartame
like I’m allergic to pain.
like I’m allergic to liars
dirty mirrors and
stingy lovers.
FUCK YOU
Enjoy your little room.
I’ll try to fall
in love
with mine.
As tired as I can get of bleeding heart, broken-hearted angry poems, this is pretty good. I feel it. It's visceral. I like the aspartame and sucrose...they sit the poem on the floor and spin it.
I'd do away with the 'FUCK YOU" though. Seems unnecessary.
the f u can be easily removed and not missed, can't it?
I really think so...it's your poem though, man, if you are really feelin' that line, by all means, keep it. I just think if one is going to curse in a poem, it had better be pretty necessary. I think your poem would sound a lot classier without it.
Originally posted by PastaNazi hey, thanks, groove...
you know, it's funny. how tired I grow of the angry poems and the broken heart... i mean how many ways can so many people say the same thing?
the f u can be easily removed and not missed, can't it?
wow.
fucking a wow.
poetry is about emotion,and what people are feeling at a time in place.
to the person writing a poem about a broken heart,to that person,it's as unique as they are,because they are expressing feelings that they are feeling at the time........
just as the person writing a poem of extreme love is writing about what they feel within their heart at the moment.
do we grow tired of those expressions ...have they been played out as well?
so i humbly reinsert the fuck you,to those that want to try and limit what people express in this forum.
unseen...
my opinion on poetry is that it's one person's take on a situation
and EVERY poet should do so with pride, and not hold themselves at fault if somebody else doesn't get it, or god forbid, doesn't like it.
we write what's in our hearts and on our minds
and sometimes, we change it once it's been written for whatever reason there may be
our pieces
our perogatives
some of us ask for an are open to suggestion, some of us just really like giving suggestions
you've always been the poet to say fuck you and your presumptuous suggestions... it's admirable... always has been
and there are a lot of people like that
so... I apologize for offending you or anyone else with the comment above. Peace to you.
poetry is about emotion,and what people are feeling at a time in place.
to the person writing a poem about a broken heart,to that person,it's as unique as they are,because they are expressing feelings that they are feeling at the time........
just as the person writing a poem of extreme love is writing about what they feel within their heart at the moment.
do we grow tired of those expressions ...have they been played out as well?
so i humbly reinsert the fuck you,to those that want to try and limit what people express in this forum.
I'll make sure never to make suggestions again. Also, I'll always leave every poem I write just like it is, and never edit or proofread it. Thanks for opening my eyes.
honest, I appreciate comments on my poetry, especially suggestions as to how to make them better... i know not everyone is this way, or writes with this "intent" or whatever... but it's totally cool with me
Comments
a Hard Time Dying
Wringing hands
In empty rooms
Once filled To the gills
With “friends” dripping sucrose “I love you’s”
All Day Long.
I’m allergic to aspartame
like I’m allergic to pain.
like I’m allergic to liars
dirty mirrors and
stingy lovers.
FUCK YOU
Enjoy your little room.
I’ll try to fall
in love
with mine.
{{{{{Pasta Nazi}}}}}}
Ya know, for some reason the above poem reminded me of that movie, "Shirley Valentine" and how she'd talk to her walls! LOL! It was a cute flick.
:-*
{{{{{{{YOU}}}}}}}
What do you expect! You ARE talking to me, after all!
It be like, tongue of Gene Simmons quality, baby!
Have a super duper weekend, babydoll!
ps. Nice to see you! *kisses with lotsa tongueage*
of course i'm talking to YOU
can't literally tongue
might as well talk, eh?
LMFAO!!!! EXACTLY!!!!
LOL!
Shoot, I gotta go home now but thanks for stopping by and having giggles!
I love it PastaNazi!
You understand and can truly see.
love you
ripple effect
Glowing lightly tangerine
beneath my highly o’ersized tree
I waddle ‘round upon my knees
and turn the slug-fruit in my hand
to toss it in the plastic bag.
This tree, always over-ripe
and overbearing fruit not wanted
can’t be stopped
and wont be daunted
Single tracked its effort sway.
To give the children treats to eat
and give the children’s pink skin shade.
"He isn't Just Some Guy," Miss Amelia's mother sighed. "He isn't Just Some Guy."
four floating discs,
Meniscuses circling around the same plane
Connected at some invisible center
A lightly blue grain
To the edge
And the outward of each
Tripped my eye
While my mind fumbled
To understand
What it meant
Meanwhile my mouth
on the line with a man
twisted
fighting (as usual)
To understand
What I meant
When I said,
“I love you, that shit don’t change”
(Knowing full well that life sometimes lies.)
I’m not. But life does.
Like those guys.
Sometimes.
My apologies to everyone
that abandon the blue.
I’m an optimist
With pessimist
breath
Aren’t you?
So back to the mirage
Impressionist pane
Could four floating discs
Be dimensionally same?
:eek:
But then You make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what You got
When all You've got is hurt
----
Underneath this smile lies everything
All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
ideas???
lol
To find flight in hope's mirrored promise?
I wish that I didn't, but...
I needed you, too.
i keep going back to this one...
But then You make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what You got
When all You've got is hurt
----
Underneath this smile lies everything
All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
But then You make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what You got
When all You've got is hurt
----
Underneath this smile lies everything
All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
ha, are you talking to me?
the brain is so very cloudy today...
But then You make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what You got
When all You've got is hurt
----
Underneath this smile lies everything
All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
love it
true PN style...
hell, i could quote them all and reply...
you know how i feel about your writing
But then You make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what You got
When all You've got is hurt
----
Underneath this smile lies everything
All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
that emptyrooms one got me banned someplace
lol...
but yeah... thank you
As tired as I can get of bleeding heart, broken-hearted angry poems, this is pretty good. I feel it. It's visceral. I like the aspartame and sucrose...they sit the poem on the floor and spin it.
I'd do away with the 'FUCK YOU" though. Seems unnecessary.
you know, it's funny. how tired I grow of the angry poems and the broken heart... i mean how many ways can so many people say the same thing?
the f u can be easily removed and not missed, can't it?
I really think so...it's your poem though, man, if you are really feelin' that line, by all means, keep it. I just think if one is going to curse in a poem, it had better be pretty necessary. I think your poem would sound a lot classier without it.
Hope that helps.
is the EDIT fuction disabled???
Coooooool
that last comment refers to the edit suggestion and nothing else, promise...
I'm off to work. Good day!
i actually agree completely
thanks
wow.
fucking a wow.
poetry is about emotion,and what people are feeling at a time in place.
to the person writing a poem about a broken heart,to that person,it's as unique as they are,because they are expressing feelings that they are feeling at the time........
just as the person writing a poem of extreme love is writing about what they feel within their heart at the moment.
do we grow tired of those expressions ...have they been played out as well?
so i humbly reinsert the fuck you,to those that want to try and limit what people express in this forum.
regardless... thank you
good to hear it again
my opinion on poetry is that it's one person's take on a situation
and EVERY poet should do so with pride, and not hold themselves at fault if somebody else doesn't get it, or god forbid, doesn't like it.
we write what's in our hearts and on our minds
and sometimes, we change it once it's been written for whatever reason there may be
our pieces
our perogatives
some of us ask for an are open to suggestion, some of us just really like giving suggestions
you've always been the poet to say fuck you and your presumptuous suggestions... it's admirable... always has been
and there are a lot of people like that
so... I apologize for offending you or anyone else with the comment above. Peace to you.
that is to say, "and", with a "d"...
it looks like typos are going to be lots of fun, now
I'll make sure never to make suggestions again. Also, I'll always leave every poem I write just like it is, and never edit or proofread it. Thanks for opening my eyes.
i dig suggestions...
so, you know...
don't...
and stuff
honest, I appreciate comments on my poetry, especially suggestions as to how to make them better... i know not everyone is this way, or writes with this "intent" or whatever... but it's totally cool with me