Out of Port

EvilToasterElf
EvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
edited February 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Out of Port


A red Ford Explorer
drives through a shallow puddle
at 65 miles an hour
the sun steadies its aim
and shifting rainbows
grasp the black bumper
like a colored leviathan
stalking a fishing trawler
the Empire State license plate
veers onto an exit
the prism sinks
back into the oil
of the salted highway
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • sultryevening
    sultryevening Posts: 522
    from the title
    i thought you meant your bottle was empty!

    either way- I like!
    Some people have to have the sultry evenings Cocktails in the blue, red and grey But I like every minute of the day.
    INTER-FUCKING-MISSION!!!
    Newcastle-Riverside 02/22/92!!!
    E.rutherford New Jersey 01/06/06
    Athens -Greece.survived !barely-
    Wembley 18/06/07- no words- just smiles!
  • CranMalReign
    CranMalReign Posts: 1,928
    I'm not sure I understand the "the sun steadies its aim" part... And I don't think the title fits...

    But otherwise, I definitely dig. One of those things that no one usually notices or remembers...

    Noticed... and remembered.
    • 98 Pgh
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  • Yellow
    Yellow Posts: 699
    i like it...

    i think it captures those rainbows wonderfully :)
    It's all yellow.


  • cassia
    cassia Posts: 277
    this one super accelerates/
    good flow and pull

    colorful images
    very
    vivid

    i so get the sun steadies its aim
    and
    cabammm


    all lit up across the salted highway/
    ok
    wow

    (more of these).....
  • CranMalReign
    CranMalReign Posts: 1,928
    Originally posted by cassia
    i so get the sun steadies its aim
    and
    cabammm


    all lit up across the salted highway/
    ok
    wow

    Now that I read it again, I understand the "steadies its aim" part. My brain was thinking it like "The sun steadies something else's aim" and not its own.

    Now I understand, and it is grand, and I like it even more.

    Still don't think the title fits though. I'm probably misunderstanding that, too.
    • 98 Pgh
    • 00 Pgh
    • 03 Pgh|Philly|PSU|Camden 1+2|Hershey
    • 04 Boston 1|Reading
    • 05 Philly
    • 06 Camden 1+2|Pgh
    • 08 Camden 1+2|Hartford|Mansfield 2
    • 09 Philly 1 [EV]|Toronto|Spectrum 1-4
    • 10 Cleveland|Buffalo
    • 11 Philly [EV]|PJ20
    • 12 Philly
    • 13 London|Pgh|Buff|Philly 1+2|Balt
    • 14 Cincy|StL
    • 16 Philly 1+2|Philly 2 [TotD]
    • 18 Boston 1+2
  • Yellow
    Yellow Posts: 699
    port authority????
    It's all yellow.


  • cassia
    cassia Posts: 277
    Route 66
  • cassia
    cassia Posts: 277
    route 666

    :)

    out
    of hell~port
  • Yellow
    Yellow Posts: 699
    hell port wine cheese


    :D
    It's all yellow.


  • EvilToasterElf
    EvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    I tried to convey a slightly more subtle metaphor of the highway to a sea, like "sinking back into the salted seas" and the image with the fishing boat, but I think the poem is a little too short to get the connection between the title, I need to think of another longwinded image I think and throw a few more hints in the wind it all up - So that this jaunt down the highway resonates as much as a ship leaving port - in my opinion a munch grander event
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    Well, it is nice that it could also mean "out of the car-port" or that an SUV is like a big 'ol boat on the highway. :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • Yellow
    Yellow Posts: 699
    Originally posted by EvilToasterElf
    in my opinion a munch grander event



    all things can be defined grand with the right words :)


    i like this the way it is
    but by all means, expound :)
    It's all yellow.


  • EvilToasterElf
    EvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    A red Ford Explorer
    drives through a shallow puddle
    65 miles an hour
    the sun steadies its aim
    and shifting rainbows
    grasp the black bumper
    like a colored leviathan
    stalking a fishing trawler
    the Empire State license plate
    veers onto an exit
    the prism sinks
    back into the oil
    of the salted highway

    which runs through
    the crooked mouth
    of Delaware county
    blasted by mountain men
    who ate through the rocks
    with dynamite teeth
    until gaps in its smile
    swung wide enough
    for four lanes of traffic
  • EvilToasterElf
    EvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    A red Ford Explorer
    drives through a shallow puddle
    65 miles an hour
    the sun steadies its aim
    and shifting rainbows
    grasp the black bumper
    like a colored leviathan
    stalking a fishing trawler
    the Empire State license plate
    veers onto an exit
    the prism sinks
    back into the oil
    of the salted highway

    hazard lights
    squint at cloud cover
    over that F-150 pickup
    marooned in the dirt
    guard rails rise
    like a steel fin
    circling dead diesels
    straddle the curves of
    cliff walls
    ice tusks slide down walls
    like chicken meat
    boiled off the bone

    the crooked mouth
    of Delaware county
    blasted by mountain men
    who ate through the rocks
    with dynamite teeth
    until gaps
    swung wide enough
    as four lanes of traffic
    shimmy like wet crumbs
    into its gullet

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