OK, here goes.....

?ing my education · February 2004

Originally posted by Talk Show Host
brutal honesty is good in my opinion. so here it goes..

it seems as though you took the easy way out. rhyming poetry is the least respected of poetry, and is commonly used by novice poets. many of your lines seemed to be forced, like the urgence for that rhyming. without the restrictions of rhyme, the possibilities of poetry are expanded and often times you'll find you can better express yourself without rhyme. just my two cents though..i get bitched at a lot for telling the truth, so i won't be surprised if you do the same.

Thank you for being brutally honest. That is what I am looking for. I just starting this whole writing thing. I have never really been into poetry per se, so I don't really think I was trying to write a poem.

What you say makes total sense though. I will use your opinion to hopefully make my writings better.

Thanks again for the honesty TSH.

?ing my education · February 2004

Originally posted by Yellow
i don't think that rhyme is a novice's vice
i actually do sometimes find rhyme is quite nice
like head lice once gone
or a low lonesome song
that rights all the wrongs
and helps me get along?

these words sound like lyrics
if you listen you'll hear it
drink me a beer, sit
and write... hey now, that's it

this tune, or prose, whatever... is nice
i like the "and so it goes"
and i like the themes, somewhat elusive, somewhat not...

there's acceptance in these words

if it were mine, i'd twiddle with some of the more common rhymes... hear/fear said/head... i'd change some thats to these's or this's...

oh, and as far as being original?
these themes are what bind us humans...
i wouldn't worry about that at all

Thank you very much Yellow! I like your rhyming reply!

My intent was more along the line of lyrics and not so much a poem. I took up playing the guitar about three years ago and just recently decided to try and start puting thoughts down on paper to hopefully, eventually form them into some kind of lyrics for a song.

That's far off though as you can tell!

Thanks again for your opinion! Greatly appreciated!

Yellow · February 2004

Originally posted by CranMalReign
Am I a toaster elf?

apparently, you are

oh, and i'm not a radiohead fan, per se...

a dearheart called me Yellow in a dream

(it was kurdt)

and i totally agree with what you say about rhyme, and i think you captured, sans brutality, what talkshow was saying... it's the brutality that bothers this sometimes sensitive user... and thus i retaliate with smiles

CranMalReign · February 2004

Originally posted by Yellow
oh, and i'm not a radiohead fan, per se...

I was talking about Talk Show Host.

Isn't Yellow a Coldplay song? Yes, it is. If it's Radiohead too... I haven't heard it.

Nosireebobby!

Talk Show Host · February 2004

Originally posted by CranMalReign
Here's my two pence on rhyme, and I'm gonna do my best not to bitch out our radiohead fan. (Or Romeo and Juliette fan... or talk show host fan)

I agree w/ TSH to an extent when I say bending over backwards to pull off a straight ababcdcd rhyme scheme is a bit novice. It is kinda easy... you have explicit rules to follow, so your hand is being held.

At the same time, however, rhyme can be extremely useful, powerful, and fulfilling in a poem. Putting rhymes in the middle of lines, peppering throughout stanzas, or using slant rhyme (assonance, alliteration, or just words that sound similar but aren't literal rhymes) make a poem so much more engaging and accessible... while at the same time allotting you the freedom that a strict rhythm and rhyme scheme prevent.

In saying that, I think some of my absolute favorite stuff I've written involves both rhythm and rhyme... just not so strict. Still, some very profound and good poetry can be written within those confines and simply writing them off as novice because of the style is a little unfair.

I think I've just contradicted myself from a post I made a few weeks ago. Oh well, you'll have that.

very true. it was a little shallow of me to say all rhyme was meant for the novice poet. but what you said made very good sense.

as for my user name, yeah, it's name after the radiohead song..which i guess appeared in romeo & juliet, right? i love radiohead.

Yellow · February 2004

Originally posted by CranMalReign
Isn't Yellow a Coldplay song? Yes, it is.

awhoops! see? told you i weren't no coldheadradioplay fan

i do like that song, though... it's purty...

CranMalReign · February 2004

Originally posted by Talk Show Host
very true. it was a little shallow of me to say all rhyme was meant for the novice poet. but what you said made very good sense.

as for my user name, yeah, it's name after the radiohead song..which i guess appeared in romeo & juliet, right? i love radiohead.

I am now listening to Talk Show Host in honor of you.

CranMalReign · February 2004

Originally posted by Yellow
awhoops! see? told you i weren't no coldheadradioplay fan

i do like that song, though... it's purty...

I am now listening to Yellow in honor of you.

Yellow · February 2004

...

FinsburyParkCarrots · February 2004

Originally posted by Talk Show Host
rhyming poetry is the least respected of poetry

Excuse my begging to differ but this is a contentious opinion. Rhyming poetry is by far the most "respected" of poetry. Chaucer's "The Canterbury Tales" rhymes; all 154 of Shakespeare's sonnets rhyme (and you'll find that the near-entirety of his play "Richard II" is in rhyming couplets). Keats, Tennyson, Yeats, Kavanagh, Larkin, Hughes, Walcott, Heaney...they use rhyme extensively. Rhyme is employed by the most renowned poets today...doggerel is the least respected form of poetry but rhyming poetry in general isn't.
Where I come from, free verse is perceived much as is free jazz...you get one visionary like Ornette Coleman who saves creative expressionism from the constraints of form, and then you get a lot of people following his lead, who use freedom as an excuse for being abstract as a means of excusing having little to say.

When a free verse poet has something to say, it is wonderful: when a free verse poet, for want of a better term, is truly a great and gifted poet the result is transcendent. There are very excellent exponents of free verse and, I feel, there are two very fine poets on this very board called Phishgod and cassia who demonstrate the realised potential of the art enviably, admirably and joyously.

.

But.... but.... there are also other "free" poets all over the world today (not necessarily on our board, though) who, in my opinion, write doggerel worse than that which rhymes and uses singsong tetrametrics. A lot of the skill of poetry is in being confident enough with the form AND being able to let one's exultant voice sing through it: this can be achieved whether through free verse or the most regimented of rhyme or metrical schemes.

I thought your lyric was good fun, Questionmarking my Edu.

Did you know that before the growth of print culture, there was a punctuation mark called a percontation mark? It was a back to front question mark, signifying that there could be myriad answers to the question. We only got rid of the mark because there were a lot of very drunk compositors in Elizabethan printshops who kept getting confused. But now, I think pc post-print culture should reintroduce it....we could start really percontating our education....:D

OK, here goes.....

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