audacity

tenaciousA
tenaciousA Posts: 604
edited January 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
i believe i'll be sticking all me poems in here, but you know the instant i say that... i'll probably stop.... anyway... please scroll down to the last and comment if you like.... i'm concerned mostly with not getting stuck into any one style, so if you see me doing that... just e-smack me :) love you for reading.... thanks... :D






~free V-day No. 1~

these roses reek...

re-de-hydrated cat pee
steaming in the sun
the baby's breath
of putrid death
fills this corner of my home
a love unwelcome to the scorned

but it's okay
because i have died twice today

so i know i'm able
even though i constantly slap my own hand

step back man
she's just not ready

piece together
my prescribed dance
step to two
my baby's shoulders
dance and pretend
dance and pretend

she dances too
~all is full of love~
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • coleen
    coleen Posts: 938
    Originally posted by tenaciousA
    piece together
    my prescribed dance
    step to two
    my baby's shoulders
    dance and pretend
    dance and pretend

    she dances too

    that part just kills me, but i can't stop singing it in my head
  • tenaciousA
    tenaciousA Posts: 604
    funny how that part's "intent" come through to you...
    i chopped many MANY things out before posting that

    coleen, you were "gone" for a long time! have you written?

    gosh, i daresay woman, you were missed!

    :)
    ~all is full of love~
  • coleen
    coleen Posts: 938
    you set the tone with the very first lines but in the end, those last few lines drove it home.

    you brilliantly express yourself time and again.

    thank you for the kind words tenaciousA, i honestly didn't realize that my "absence" would have been noticeable. i've been here all along reading...i guess i was just feeling a bit on the quiet side.

    i'm writing more now then ever but at the moment its difficult for me to share. i guess i need some more distance from them or at least continue to work toward a better perspective.

    keep up the good work, i'm watching you. ;)
  • tenaciousA
    tenaciousA Posts: 604
    i would be happy to see what you're up to on paper, colleen

    but i suppose i'll be patient...

    :)


    be well :)
    ~all is full of love~
  • Being Enlightened
    Being Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Originally posted by tenaciousA
    these roses reek...

    re-de-hydrated cat piss
    steaming in the sun
    the baby's breath
    of putrid death
    fills this corner of my home
    a love unwelcome to the scorned

    but it's okay
    because i have died twice today

    so i know i'm able
    even though i constantly slap my own hand

    step back man
    she's just not ready

    piece together
    my prescribed dance
    step to two
    my baby's shoulders
    dance and pretend
    dance and pretend

    she dances too

    You're slapping your own hand and I'm slapping my own face! ;)

    Good stuff tenaciousA! I'm kinda wondering what you chopped, since you mentionned it. What can I say, I'm a sucker for things in their original form. :)

    Nice to see you out and about! :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Lilies that fester smell far worse than weeds
    But roses? Worse than ageing coalmine steeds,
    if the giver's icky like the scent
    of scrunched up paper used to wipe a vent.

    :D
  • tenaciousA
    tenaciousA Posts: 604
    no more dreams
    just the give and take
    one foot in front of the other makes
    the one
    the two
    the three four five six seven eight
    no more dreams
    lie down cold steel blue pain
    lie down the infamy
    that brought me
    myself and I to rain
    oh how did it go?
    i swear
    by all gods
    i used to know
    bring it down baby
    a chance to dream
    love the targetless
    over in the dark
    change the color of
    my our black heart
    make it real, baby
    love
    love
    love
    love
    love
    love
    love
    love
    love
    it's creaky now remember
    how it's easy
    just like cleaning house
    smile
    right
    smile?
    right



    later
    ~all is full of love~
  • tenaciousA
    tenaciousA Posts: 604
    we lay she and me and speak of new things lightly in the dark...
    dad's new girlfriend who says "stop" all the time like i used to
    and how he treats her, keeps her wrapped tight...
    the poor thing wants to call her "mom", too sometimes
    in case she forgets
    because it is so hard to get the dynamic

    it'll always be a featherweight painting with
    an offset hanger on a crooked hook,
    beautiful and perfect,
    just unable to be straight
    because it isn't and never was

    and...
    she just wants everything right and easy
    and i touch her face and am honest under threat...

    she says she will call my new
    someday love "chickenhead"
    because he will be funny

    and i marvel at her I.Q.
    and am amazed with
    how much light slips through
    when i open the door
    quietly
    the stops removed...

    i am in desparate love
    with these gifts from God
    my belief in Divinity unshakable
    God Blessed
    ~all is full of love~
  • Buru
    Buru Posts: 8,473
    I really liked your poem tenaciousA
    some really forceful verses there, like:

    "but it's okay
    because i have died twice today"

    and I really liked the ending too

    piece together
    my prescribed dance
    step to two
    my baby's shoulders
    dance and pretend
    dance and pretend

    she dances too

    I think it's very effective how you repeat "dance and pretend"

    nice work!

    Buru
    y la banda de Guille... cuando toca?
  • Buru
    Buru Posts: 8,473
    just read the other poems you posted
    great stuff!!
    y la banda de Guille... cuando toca?
  • tenaciousA
    tenaciousA Posts: 604
    thank you very much, buru :)
    ~all is full of love~
  • tenaciousA
    tenaciousA Posts: 604
    i took a shower in moonbeams last night
    (isn't that stupid? a shower in moonbeams... come on)
    but i did

    the fat moon
    two days past full
    spent and flowing
    the soulmilk guinessdark
    watered my hope's vinyard

    and no birds sang
    aloud, that is to say
    but the choir in my mind
    jet the hours away
    bubbling charmed promises
    of an alive life lived in real time only

    once my full had
    i spent the next
    sleeping without dreams
    because there are only a couple of things
    i have with want
    not need

    ....peace my happy people
    peace and spring...
    ~all is full of love~
  • tenaciousA
    tenaciousA Posts: 604
    And there it is.
    The proof again.
    The burning pyre
    In the middle of heaven
    That'll never get caught
    It'll just burn forever, won't it?
    To burn forever.
    Put it out.
    ~all is full of love~
  • coleen
    coleen Posts: 938
    just one of my many favorite names
  • nailz100
    nailz100 Posts: 1,176
    My Name....hehehe...I'm flattered Coleen. Really nice poetry tenaciousA...I especially like "But it is okay, because I have died twice today"....graphic, but powerful words.
    Only with our eyes closed can we truly see
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    my tenacious moniker's been disabled... i came clean to the mods about all 5 of my names and this is the only one i have left.... lol


    these pieces are making me blush, though


    sheshe, did I write that?


    wowsers, lol


    :)


    i'm so glad time moves in only one direction mostly


    :D thanks coleen... a whole lotta :)
  • FancyFacade
    FancyFacade Posts: 330
    awesome stuff...!!
  • mentalcow
    mentalcow Posts: 9
    <font color="blue">very nice everyone!</font> =P
    should i eat them? raw, or well done?
  • mentalcow
    mentalcow Posts: 9
    yes, thats what i meant to do!! heh heh heh ^_^
    should i eat them? raw, or well done?
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    thanks te ye, both fancy and mentalcow


    mentalcow... nIce name :) love it

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