Is this what life is really about? (mid 20's crisis)...
Thoughts_Arrive
Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
Touching on some points raised/discussed in washedinblack91's thread on burning out with her studies....
I think I am having one!
It's like I am lost and not sure wtf I am doing or wtf I should be doing.
I don't think my life was meant for me to be chained to my desk all day long stuck in this shitty money hungry corporate world where everyone stabs everyone in the back and steps on toes and is out right fake all day long.
It gets me down and I am in midst of an emotional crisis, I feel like I am angsty teenager when I am almost 25!
I feel like I wasted 4 years of my life in University for a degree not relevant for the work I do, plus I am $10,000 in debt (the government pays for our higher education and we pay it back through additional income tax once we begin work full time). I got a marketing degree and I hate marketing now, the subjects were fun but then I had a change of mind, I don't wanna ram shit down peoples throats to get them to buy.
I am a creative individual with a burning passion for music, feel like I should do something with music but I don't think I can afford to study further. I have always been into art as well, was too lazy to get into graphic design courses after high school, I wasn't a dedicated student then.
I am freaked out at soon having to move out, buy a house, pay the mortgage, or rent.
Then there is finding a future wife, having kids.....arghhhh.
Sorry had to vent, anyone else been through the same crisis or had the same fears, or anyone else in my boat?
I think I am having one!
It's like I am lost and not sure wtf I am doing or wtf I should be doing.
I don't think my life was meant for me to be chained to my desk all day long stuck in this shitty money hungry corporate world where everyone stabs everyone in the back and steps on toes and is out right fake all day long.
It gets me down and I am in midst of an emotional crisis, I feel like I am angsty teenager when I am almost 25!
I feel like I wasted 4 years of my life in University for a degree not relevant for the work I do, plus I am $10,000 in debt (the government pays for our higher education and we pay it back through additional income tax once we begin work full time). I got a marketing degree and I hate marketing now, the subjects were fun but then I had a change of mind, I don't wanna ram shit down peoples throats to get them to buy.
I am a creative individual with a burning passion for music, feel like I should do something with music but I don't think I can afford to study further. I have always been into art as well, was too lazy to get into graphic design courses after high school, I wasn't a dedicated student then.
I am freaked out at soon having to move out, buy a house, pay the mortgage, or rent.
Then there is finding a future wife, having kids.....arghhhh.
Sorry had to vent, anyone else been through the same crisis or had the same fears, or anyone else in my boat?
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
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*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
its a good job and im at the point of wanting to move out & have a solid career to rely on. Looking into becoming a barrister (which i could do & finish within 10 months as opposed to 4 years for the other thing). i might prefer that because id be self-employed which would suit me a lot better, but id be earning pittence for ages. but hey, i earn NOTHING now, so thats not really a problem is it?!
I've also looked up going back to college (would only do it for medicine), which would cost me 60,000euros. If its a high-paying job tho....
so yeah ....i guess i have choices to make & dont know what the fuck to do either!
I really have the urge to live in the countryside, yet still work in the city. The only good thing is that I like my job, and it pays good for what I do. It's kinda holding me back in a way too though in that I can't just up and move to the other side of the country/world. Outside of work, the rest of my life is pretty pathetic and it needs to change soon otherwise I'll just give up on life totally by the time I'm 30 :roll:
http://www.facebook.com/jennytree
SMELL YER MA!
It is a trying time as you are attempting to establish yourself, but stick with it. The economy makes things difficult now, but you'll get through it. Life changes and all things pass.
Charlotte 03
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Ohana Festival 24 x2
Exercise always helps with that feeling. Get out and meet new people. all the clicheed advise works. Go do things you like. If you want to go watch a band but no-one will go, go anyway. if you drive, go drive around the country / coast / mountains.
And then, go see the Breeders in Vicar Street next week, thatll probably help too!
I've missed too many bands because I didn't want to go alone, Sonic Youth twice, Pennywise.
Going alone to Bad Religion/NOFX and will go alone to Pearl Jam!
as i'm typing this i think i'm in the tail end of an anxiety attack. i swear to you. i was having an awesome time listening to my music, it's the best feeling in the world to just let loose and let the music fill you with such powerful and beautiful emotions. but then i get to my dorm room and for some reason i feel like i'm on cocaine, i'm all jittery, my mind, heart, and mouth going a mile a minute, cant breathe, getting chills. i look up my symptoms online and it said i'm having an anxiety attack! could you fucking believe it?! i couldn't imagine why i would have one my life is FUCKING GREAT i have a great family i dont have any disease my family is well off i got great music to listen to, what the FUCK have I got to be so anxious over?! then i realize, i have a paper due tomorrow.
SCHOOL IS KILLING ME! i'm over here flippin out as i'm typing (well I'm less anxious now than I was an hour ago, but- holy shit did i just say an hour ago?! I'VE BEEN HAVING THIS FUCKING SO-CALLED ANXIETY ATTACK FOR A FUCKING HOUR?!) this spiel, i'm fucking irritable as shit and i'm only now calming down.
you and me BOTH need to get the fuck out of this while we still can! the only problem is, what the fuck do i do if i'm not at school? i sure as hell am not working at god damned retail, i might as well kill myself now. god, i never curse this much but i'm just so fucking irritated at it all right now. i want to run away to a place where time stops and all i have to do is take a walk and enjoy music. maybe stop by a tree and write my book. that's all i want. i just want to take a walk and be.
let's run away to that place, it seems nice there. no more fucking cubicles, no more meaningless homework, a place where man hasn't touched its surface where only the free live, where animals and nature and art lives. i wonder if that's what heaven is. it would be for me.
why does life have to seemingly be about wasted degrees, wasted lives, wasted potential, wasted dreams, indecision, wrong decisions, seeing numerous possibilities, infinite forks in a road, yet feeling like you're being shoved into one direction?
i've said it once i'll say it again, I'm a seed wondering why it grows...
eV: 8/4/08, 8/5/08, 6/21/11
SG: 10/4/08<-- MET STONE!!!
I always go places on my own, and I really enjoy it. I do like that about myself, that if I wanna go somewhere, I'll just go. I went to NY last year to see PJ on my own and loved it! And It looks like this year will be the same. I love love love driving. Zipping around country roads singin' along to whatever I want - it really is great. But I guess I'm at the stage where I'm wondering why I haven't anyone to come with me. I do really need a kick up the arse and I think it's gonna happen soon.
http://www.facebook.com/jennytree
SMELL YER MA!
You could always go abroad and teach English. It's easy. If you have a degree then you can go to Japan, or China e.t.c and get an easy job where they pay for your accommodation and pay you good money. You can then experience a new culture whilst having enough time to consider your options.
Y'know, I've been thinking about this. I'd love to do it in Germany though! Fella in my work left to teach in Ibiza of all places
http://www.facebook.com/jennytree
SMELL YER MA!
Good luck man, hang in there and PAY OFF THAT DEBT!!!
you are still young enough to start again on a different path in life. I've done it 3 times so far- and I'm turning 34 this year- and I have not regretted it. I was a fine artist (painting, sculpting, photography ... you name it, I've done it. And when I was in my early 20's I hit a plateau and lost the drive for it.
I had be doing it for over 10 years. I decided to just do something else. It was scary, but I asked myself- what is the worst that will happen? I had no kids, no mortgage, no real debt- so why not? I went into computers and did that for 4 years- and then I did the same thing- left it behind and went into cooking. And I've been doing this for 8 years.
One of the best things I have done. I've found what I wanted to do with my life. Who is to say the first choice in career is the one that you have to stick to for the rest of your life. Try different things.
If you want to do music- then do it! Start off small. Take a night music course at a local college to see what you want to do. Hit up a friend who plays to teach you. If this is really what you want to do- and your afraid- take baby steps- then just jump in.
what is the worst that could happen?
My family coming down on me like a tonne of bricks.
Thanks for the advice.
I'm not saying drop everything at once- just take baby steps to see what you want to do to make you happy. just my 2¢.
In all things, its your choice. Have you brought it up to your family what you want to do? has the response been totally negative?
eV: 8/4/08, 8/5/08, 6/21/11
SG: 10/4/08<-- MET STONE!!!
No Way!
They'd just laugh at me call me crazy and tell me you just want to be those bands you listen to.
They are just old school Europeans.
Thanks for the advice, I agree.
The sooner I move out the better, then they won't know hehe.
So they laugh- call you crazy- that is not so bad. Will they cut you off from the family? that would be bad.
Then don't tell them. I was still working in my old job while I pursued the new one. Every single time. As I said- I did not just drop everything- but I took the classes after work and when I was done- I moved on.
So what's holding you back is that you still live with them. hmmm. when are you leaving? Make a plan to move out by the end of the year and then do it on the sly.
Why? You just said that your current situation sucks.
when you are single- minimal debt, no kids, etc.- its easier to start something else. Once you have the house, the kids, the responsibility- its not about you anymore.
Make a move before you regret not being able to and then you can't.
again, just my 2¢
I think alot of people have no idea what they are going to do post college, and even after graduating college I would say very few people these days seem to be "in their perfect job".
As I stated, movies about mid 20's crises, have been appearing frequently. Igby goes down, last kiss, garden state, elizabethtown, americano, adventureland.
Even those in their late 20's and early thirties seem to be as lost as those of us in our twenties. Death cab for cuties newest record is about ben gibbard's search for answers and trying to find himself. He seems to come to the conclusion that he is lost, and even after spending time where Jack Kerouac a notorious author who spent his life writing about the mid twenties crisis, and came away with no real answers and no truth. All those songs are about getting married and realizing you are marrying the wrong person. or other such things.
The Last Kiss, the underrated Zach Braff film from 2006, is a compnaion film to the "lost in your twenties" Garden State. In this one, the characters are in their late 20's, and early thirties, they are settling down, they are dating, and getting married, they have kids. Yet they are just as lost as Andrew Largeman was in garden State.
For me, I have noticed, more and more, I am not unique in having a crisis. There are a number of other people who are having or have had such experiences. For me, its been one of the most intense, and sad periods of my life, but in many ways, the crisis is also about growth, changing, and happiness.
As Hermann Hesse said: "man's true profession is to find the way to himself"
Ultimately the scary thing, is the realization that their isnt a handbook to any of it. To growing up. To finding happiness. To dealing with life. That is an extremely scary feeling. But can be also freeing and liberating, as their isnt "one" path to follow, but many
Investigate what you are interested in. Take some time off if you can.
Explore your ideas with a therapist. (Find one you can believe in.)
Make the jump.
Also, sometimes things just suck. Hang in. It will change if you do.
prepare yourself for a very random stream of thoughts about life and all.. that this subject brought up in my mind...
It's hard being young.
It's hard to let go.
It's hard to grow wiser. It's easy to get older.
Finding your way, finding yourself.
In the end, you are all alone.
The choices you've made won't matter but to you.
So make your way, through it all, based on how you feel.
You yourself.
Gather wisdom, think and live by what you think is right.
Don't let the worries of the entire world bring you down.
Leave all those insignificant things, thoughts, in your life.. behind you.
Be reasonable, be generous, be true. Find some meaning for your existence.
Search for moments of happiness and all those little things in life,
that make you feel good.
Treat others good, what goes around comes around.
It's not easy, never was and never will be.
Try enjoying moments of silence.
Get to know yourself.
When you have peace within yourself, everything feels a bit better.
Life - what is it? Who knows. Be who you are, do what feels right.
Maybe you'll find answers, maybe you won't.
Just try. Do it. Try living. See the world - see yourself.
Peace, Love, Happiness, - try and find those in your life.
Don't lie. Don't lie to yourself. Don't pretend. Don't hate.
Accept everything life throws at you with open arms and deal with it the best you can.
There is no "Good Life", there is only Your Life, do what you wish with it.
Dreams are hard to turn into reality, you can always try, though - even if you fail,
at least you yourself know you have tried - and you can still dream on.
Show some mercy for yourself.
Whatever you decide to do, never give up.
Life goes on.
...don't know if that "stream of thoughts" made any sense to anyone, but those are just
some thoughts and feelings about life and how to live it... well at least how I - try - to live it.
I don't know if I've succeeded exceptionally well.. but I have peace within myself about myself and my life - and thats pretty good so far.
I am still a "work in progress" after all...
I'm 22. I've had my share of existential/etc crises for my age. I've been depressed, I've had worries and god knows what else.
I still do worry, I still feel depressed from time to time. You get used to it, somehow. You learn how to cope with it.
You just have to get to know yourself, you have to come in terms with yourself, your dreams, wants, and needs.
Growing wiser, and older - it's a long process.. it doesn't happen overnight, you won't get
what you want the way we are used to getting everything nowadays. Sometimes everything doesn't work out the way we thought.
I have made mistakes, I've gone through some bad, weird phases in my life,but always gotten over them.
I'm still weird... but I don't care
Life... we all just have to figure it out ourselves.
Don't worry so much about "becoming something". It's the ride itself that matters... not the destination
Peace, love, happiness...
and most of all... good luck - everyone.
-- and if words don't feel like they're helping much... music always makes me feel better
... listen to this one for example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cTYhY3NUWE
..okay enough of me rambling.. :P
Won't let the darkness swallow me.
at the end of the day - the only person you have to answer to is yourself ... if you're not happy and want to do something else - have the courage to do something about it ... if you choose not to - the only person you have to blame is yourself ... yes, society puts a lot of pressures as does family, etc. but they only manifests themselves in your own reality if you choose to let it ...
Very true, wise words.
Won't let the darkness swallow me.
-Greg Dulli
great post.
i think most of us have experienced the same/similar.....and i will say, it can happen more than once. i am finding each decade of life is accompanied by hard choices and decisions...thus coupled with indecision, and figuring your way. life isn't easy, that's for sure...and that isn't always necessarily a bad thing either, least not always.
i do oftentimes nowadays (and i am long past my mid-20s now) think back to what life was like 100 years ago, 200 years ago....and i am amazed. life as we know it is SO changed, and even with all the shit....mostly for the *better*. the average person wouldn't even have the TIME, the leisure, that most of us do, regularly, to even ponder such thoughts. life was all about getting by, living, and that's it. even thinking of all other animals....life is just about.....living. i don't think we have one divine purpose or road to follow, and there's no one right way, and even what brings you happiness in life will change greatly.
just ride the wave where it takes you....and try to enjoy as much of the journey as possible......:)
btw - the film the last kiss is actually a remake of the italian, original version of the film of the same name.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow