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I'm starting to feel guilty.

patrickredeyespatrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
edited May 2009 in All Encompassing Trip
This coming Monday I am set to fly out to Denver and start a new beginning........Again. :)
My dad was suppose to be home when I left but for the 2nd week now he is back in the hospital again. He had a couple set backs when he was home. And had to go back to the hospital almost 2 weeks ago now. He is getting heavy treatments and doing lots of rehab while he is there. He looks alot better and I hope this little setback will only make him stronger.

But for the past 2 mornings I have woken up and have thought about it. I feel guilty that he is not home and I am set to leave. They are treating his stay on a weekly basis and he may be home next week. So I could maybe wait until then but I just don't know now. I've had two rough nites sleeping cause its very much on my mind on what to do now. I care about myself and what I want but I'm not selfish to leave while he is still not home. :( It would be hard enjoying myself out in Denver while he is still in the hospital and not home. If he was home I would feel better about it. The cloudy and rainy weather today doesn't help either.

Again I'm venting so sorry for another thread about my pops. Life is just so hard sometimes. :(
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • PureandEasyPureandEasy Posts: 5,818
    I think it’s a natural response, feeling guilty, but there is no reason for you to beat yourself up for wanting to go back to Denver. You’ve been through a lot and there’s no shame in your needing to get back.

    As you say, your dad is looking well and is getting rehab while at the hospital.
    Don't come closer or I'll have to go
  • patrickredeyespatrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
    PureandEasy wrote:
    I think it’s a natural response, feeling guilty, but there is no reason for you to beat yourself up for wanting to go back to Denver. You’ve been through a lot and there’s no shame in your needing to get back.

    As you say, your dad is looking well and is getting rehab while at the hospital.

    Yea since hes doing well I think I'm still gonna leave Monday. Just sucks he's not at home.
  • CateetoCateeto Posts: 377
    It is to be expected to feel guilt in a situation like this. You have planned going back to Denver for the longest time and you're very excited about it, but then something like this springs up and in a way ruins your excitement for a flawless return. However, you have been entirely selfless through this whole ordeal and have stayed there aiding your family for months and months. I am sure they will not hold anything against you if you go along with your original plans and leave the day your originally planned on leaving. Like you said, your dad is doing a lot better and will likely return home next week. And what would you father think if you stayed just for him? In my experience, people feel bad if they keep you somewhere...

    You're just worrying because you're a good son. You've spent so much time helping others, I think it is time for you to do the one thing that makes you happy. Go ahead with your life! Keep a phone close though and check back home often. Once you're out there you will find that everything is going to fall into place smoothly and in no time the guilt will disappear.

    Good luck!
    ~Eyes are the windows to the soul~

    http://thriftstorenightmares.blogspot.com/

    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599947572

    ~Wild is my love~
  • PJaddictedPJaddicted Posts: 1,432
    So hard to leave someone you love as much as your Dad, especially when they are sick. The only thing I can tell you from the perspective of my own situation, my Dad passed away four years ago suddenly, and now I truly wish I had spent more time with him. I guess it is never enough.

    I wish you well with all your decisions...it isn't easy when love is involved.
    ~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~

    *May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*

    He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
    — Unknown
  • SPEEDY MCCREADYSPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 25,887
    I see that the jobless rate in Denver is the highest it has been in 20 years......That has to be a little scary to move to a new city and read that.

    What are your plans for work when you get to Denver this time around?
    How much is average rent for a one bedroom apartment in Denver?
    How much is gas, water, electrical, and renters insurance going to run you every month?
    How is the public transportation in Denver since you sold your car?
    Do you plan on getting work as soon as possible when you get to Denver? Or do you already have a job lined up?
    I remember last year you mentioned going back to school...Is this still a possibility?
    Im sure you plan on buying another car soon since you have to deal with the winters. Will you buy a new car or used? Will you have to deal with car payments?
    How much is drivers insurance in Denver? Im sure its got to be pretty high considering the weather and the mountains.
    How are you moving all your furniture to Denver? Uhaul? Or are you going to buy all new furniture? Thats got to be expensive....BUT FUN.....Nothing like buying a new living room set, dining room set, bedroom set. And then of course it always fun to buy the little things you need like, televisions, stereos, coffee makers, blah blah blah. Moving to a new place can be quite expensive.
    Im sure you have looked in to all the different neighborhoods in the city of Denver. What made you decide on the neighborhood you are moving to? The cost? Or is it close to where you plan on working? Or is it easy to access public transportation from you new neighborhood?
    When you researched Denver and decided this was the place you wanted to spend the rest of your life, what factors led to you choosing Denver? Was it the schools? Was it what Denver had to offer as far as choosing a career? Was it because Denver seemed like a good place to raise a family? Was it the cost of living in Denver compared to Milwaukee? Was it because Denver had a lot to offer as far as work goes in your specific field?

    I tell ya....ill give you credit though....because i would be terrified of moving to a new city...900 miles from my family......having to sign a one or 2 year lease for my apartment.....having to come up with the security deposit(which could be a month or 2 worth of rent).....having to PRAY TO GOD i was able to find a job quickly(in this economy it could take more than a year).... especially difficult if you dont have any type of degree or experience in a certain field. And from what recall(i may be wrong)....Denver is not the cheapest city to live in....

    but good luck....
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • patrickredeyespatrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
    SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:
    I see that the jobless rate in Denver is the highest it has been in 20 years......That has to be a little scary to move to a new city and read that.

    What are your plans for work when you get to Denver this time around?
    How much is average rent for a one bedroom apartment in Denver?
    How much is gas, water, electrical, and renters insurance going to run you every month?
    How is the public transportation in Denver since you sold your car?
    Do you plan on getting work as soon as possible when you get to Denver? Or do you already have a job lined up?
    I remember last year you mentioned going back to school...Is this still a possibility?
    Im sure you plan on buying another car soon since you have to deal with the winters. Will you buy a new car or used? Will you have to deal with car payments?
    How much is drivers insurance in Denver? Im sure its got to be pretty high considering the weather and the mountains.
    How are you moving all your furniture to Denver? Uhaul? Or are you going to buy all new furniture? Thats got to be expensive....BUT FUN.....Nothing like buying a new living room set, dining room set, bedroom set. And then of course it always fun to buy the little things you need like, televisions, stereos, coffee makers, blah blah blah. Moving to a new place can be quite expensive.
    Im sure you have looked in to all the different neighborhoods in the city of Denver. What made you decide on the neighborhood you are moving to? The cost? Or is it close to where you plan on working? Or is it easy to access public transportation from you new neighborhood?
    When you researched Denver and decided this was the place you wanted to spend the rest of your life, what factors led to you choosing Denver? Was it the schools? Was it what Denver had to offer as far as choosing a career? Was it because Denver seemed like a good place to raise a family? Was it the cost of living in Denver compared to Milwaukee? Was it because Denver had a lot to offer as far as work goes in your specific field?

    I tell ya....ill give you credit though....because i would be terrified of moving to a new city...900 miles from my family......having to sign a one or 2 year lease for my apartment.....having to come up with the security deposit(which could be a month or 2 worth of rent).....having to PRAY TO GOD i was able to find a job quickly(in this economy it could take more than a year).... especially difficult if you dont have any type of degree or experience in a certain field. And from what recall(i may be wrong)....Denver is not the cheapest city to live in....

    but good luck....


    I can't believe you typed that all out. :o :shock: :? :roll: :lol::D:D

    Thanks :D
  • SPEEDY MCCREADYSPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 25,887
    patrickredeyes wrote:
    SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:
    I see that the jobless rate in Denver is the highest it has been in 20 years......That has to be a little scary to move to a new city and read that.

    What are your plans for work when you get to Denver this time around?
    How much is average rent for a one bedroom apartment in Denver?
    How much is gas, water, electrical, and renters insurance going to run you every month?
    How is the public transportation in Denver since you sold your car?
    Do you plan on getting work as soon as possible when you get to Denver? Or do you already have a job lined up?
    I remember last year you mentioned going back to school...Is this still a possibility?
    Im sure you plan on buying another car soon since you have to deal with the winters. Will you buy a new car or used? Will you have to deal with car payments?
    How much is drivers insurance in Denver? Im sure its got to be pretty high considering the weather and the mountains.
    How are you moving all your furniture to Denver? Uhaul? Or are you going to buy all new furniture? Thats got to be expensive....BUT FUN.....Nothing like buying a new living room set, dining room set, bedroom set. And then of course it always fun to buy the little things you need like, televisions, stereos, coffee makers, blah blah blah. Moving to a new place can be quite expensive.
    Im sure you have looked in to all the different neighborhoods in the city of Denver. What made you decide on the neighborhood you are moving to? The cost? Or is it close to where you plan on working? Or is it easy to access public transportation from you new neighborhood?
    When you researched Denver and decided this was the place you wanted to spend the rest of your life, what factors led to you choosing Denver? Was it the schools? Was it what Denver had to offer as far as choosing a career? Was it because Denver seemed like a good place to raise a family? Was it the cost of living in Denver compared to Milwaukee? Was it because Denver had a lot to offer as far as work goes in your specific field?

    I tell ya....ill give you credit though....because i would be terrified of moving to a new city...900 miles from my family......having to sign a one or 2 year lease for my apartment.....having to come up with the security deposit(which could be a month or 2 worth of rent).....having to PRAY TO GOD i was able to find a job quickly(in this economy it could take more than a year).... especially difficult if you dont have any type of degree or experience in a certain field. And from what recall(i may be wrong)....Denver is not the cheapest city to live in....

    but good luck....


    I can't believe you typed that all out. :o :shock: :? :roll: :lol::D:D

    Thanks :D
    whats the cost of health insurance in Denver??? Im sure you have checked this out. Will you have to find a new doctor? What type of coverage are you going to get? Hopefully your new employer will have decent medical insurance...and a decent 401k package...and a decent slaary....and a decent vacation package....

    but im sure you have checked in to all of this.....
    along with everything else i have mentioned.....
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • LizardLizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    I can understand the guilt thing. My mom was sick a few years ago and needed a lot of help but she lives alone and your dad has your mom which is a good thing. Have you discussed your dilemma with them? I am sure they would not want to hold you back.Good luck

    And yeah--that was a LOT for Speedy to type!!! Good questions tho....
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • patrickredeyespatrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
    Lizard wrote:
    I can understand the guilt thing. My mom was sick a few years ago and needed a lot of help but she lives alone and your dad has your mom which is a good thing. Have you discussed your dilemma with them? I am sure they would not want to hold you back.Good luck

    And yeah--that was a LOT for Speedy to type!!! Good questions tho....

    I guess I should update:

    My dad's health is getting better and he looks and feels alot better. He will be home in 2 weeks or so. He's getting PT and OT that he should have got when he was at the other rehab place. Seventeen weeks there and they didn't do much but at the time it seemed like it was enough.

    So I've felt alot better past 2 days and I have talked about it. Other family members will be stepping up while I'm gone and that makes me feel good too. So were all set for Monday. One of the MAIN reasons I'm going back to Denver is to get back into shape. Yea I can do that here and have started but Speedy Denver just feels something Special to me. It reminds me of Milwaukee's Eastside/Madison, Wisconsin/Chicago in ways.

    Just has a good vibe and some very awesome friends of mine are out there. I bought a sweet mountain bike to get me around town and that will sure help drop some pounds also. :) The bike is already out there and so is my bed along with other things. No need for a car right now. Also helps having family members who work in the airline business. Cheap flights and no charges for extra bags. :D

    Everything else as far as work and such has been thought and taken care of. This whole time my only concern was leaving my father. But he's doing well and if I need to I can get back to Milwaukee just by picking up the phone and asking.

    I'm single, no kids and nothing but clear skies ahead of me. Life is a adventure and I will take each day/moment as it comes to me. :D

    peace
  • PureandEasyPureandEasy Posts: 5,818
    You certainly seem to have a very positive attitude toward your new adventure and I'm a firm believer that attitude plays a huge role in everything we do in life.

    Best of luck to you.
    Don't come closer or I'll have to go
  • in_hiding79in_hiding79 Posts: 4,315
    patrickredeyes wrote:
    This coming Monday I am set to fly out to Denver and start a new beginning........Again. :)
    My dad was suppose to be home when I left but for the 2nd week now he is back in the hospital again. He had a couple set backs when he was home. And had to go back to the hospital almost 2 weeks ago now. He is getting heavy treatments and doing lots of rehab while he is there. He looks alot better and I hope this little setback will only make him stronger.

    But for the past 2 mornings I have woken up and have thought about it. I feel guilty that he is not home and I am set to leave. They are treating his stay on a weekly basis and he may be home next week. So I could maybe wait until then but I just don't know now. I've had two rough nites sleeping cause its very much on my mind on what to do now. I care about myself and what I want but I'm not selfish to leave while he is still not home. :( It would be hard enjoying myself out in Denver while he is still in the hospital and not home. If he was home I would feel better about it. The cloudy and rainy weather today doesn't help either.

    Again I'm venting so sorry for another thread about my pops. Life is just so hard sometimes. :(


    Aww, I'm sorry that you're feeling like this Patrick. Life is hard sometimes and I would feel just like you do if I was in your situation.
    And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,"
    "What a stupid lamb."
    "What a sick, masochistic lion."
  • covered in blisscovered in bliss chi-caw-go Posts: 1,332
    PureandEasy wrote:
    You certainly seem to have a very positive attitude toward your new adventure and I'm a firm believer that attitude plays a huge role in everything we do in life.

    Best of luck to you.

    Agreed. Attitude is everything. Also, sometimes -not- having a firm plan is the best plan of all! As long as you have a supportive family and a place to return if need be, you will be fine. :)

    Enjoy your new life!
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