Home› The Porch

I'm gonna fucking kill that god damn bird......

realmgeorgerealmgeorge Posts: 309
edited April 2009 in The Porch
Tweet Tweet NOTHING!

While I respect the European fans, and wish them a wonderful upcoming tour....


I must say if that fucking bird doesn't land within 300 miles of St. Louis, I'm gonna kill that god damn bird.

I've driven THOUSANDS of miles (literally) for this band. I live in St. Louis, and have only seen them here twice. I have traveled to see them in West Palm, Champaign, KC, East Troy, Asheville NC, Kissimmee Florida, and Chicago. 7 shows out of town, 2 in. Then I get denied Memphis tickets... whatever.


All I am saying is, if you were indeed punishing us for being a red state, GET THE FUCK OVER IT.

There are numerous states that have been left out since 2003, and it is time to forgive and forget.

I wasn't down with George W. Fuck, I share the same name, and I still think the guy was the biggest mistake we could have made. NEVER THE LESS, I LAY DOWN THE GAUNTLET RIGHT NOW.

If my most beloved band, PJ, does not play a show within 300 miles of my hometown during the next tour.... The gateway to the west. The land where we shout, Cuck the Fubs, that land where I motherfucking reside god damn it. ST. LOUIS. If this most awesomely picky band does not play close to here during the next tour....

I will be forced to commit beastiality/murder. I'm gonna find that tweeting bird, and I am gonna do the unthinkable.


I'm gonna fuck it


Then I'm gonna kill it.


Then I'm gonna fuck it again.


Thats right, HARSH WORDS FROM A MAN WHO IS OUT OF PATIENCE. It's in your court now birdie, bring this band to me, or suffer the vile reality that is DEATH FROM MY DONG.

I give you 10 days (10, get it?) to respond with sufficient evidence of a STL show, or I begin to awaken the monster..... and you don't want this motherfuckin monster awakened on your motherfuckin watch, BIRDIE.

GET THE BALL ROLLIN OR LUBE IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and love, what a different life had I not had this love with you.
Post edited by Unknown User on
«1

Comments

  • SomethingCreativeSomethingCreative Kazoo, MI Posts: 3,396
    :o
    "Well, I think this band is incapable of sucking."
    -my dad after hearing Not for You for the first time on SNL .
  • Local CrewLocal Crew Posts: 745
    take it easy, buddy.
    Walk Tall, Kick Ass, Learn to Speak Arabic, Love Music, and Never Forget You Come From a Long Line of Truth Seekers, Lovers, and Warriors. HST

    CHILLIN LIKE BOB DYLAN!!!
  • mindimindi Posts: 1,862
    Interesting.
    Altho I do share some of the same feelings, not quite as intense tho I guess. ;)

    I live in Collinsville IL so a STL show would be closest to me too. I have been flying to see them and it gets sooo $$$$ and I would love to take some of my kids to a show but that would really have to be a local one.

    I'm not sure why STL gets passed over. Chicago is really not that close.
    To 10c; "Your PJ tshirt should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady." - bionicamy
  • LostdogsinthegardenLostdogsinthegarden Posts: 844
    I like the passion and determination!
  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    Sounds like someone forgot to take their medication.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • ECMECM Posts: 1,687
    drive a few hours south and go to an EV show instead?
    wishlistfoundation.org
  • Jack_C_GregoryJack_C_Gregory Posts: 540
    Play Indy Man... we're a blue state now:)
  • Off I Go.Off I Go. Posts: 204
    :shock: NOooooooooooooooooooooooo :(
    You cannot even think about killing a bird!!!!!!!!!
    I love all birds PLEASE be gentle in your thoughts :(
    The waiting drove me mad!!!
  • Mindless DrifterMindless Drifter Posts: 210
    wow,
    everyone seems really set on this tweet being a euro tour

    I DONT WANT MY HOPES DASHED NOW!!


    :mrgreen:
  • PlanktonPlankton Posts: 692
    ME!

    ME!

    ME!
  • mcready2jammcready2jam Posts: 61
    the sweet tweet tweet of the little birdy! Music to my ears! Notice the little birdy rests in the US? Patience is the key!
    ~ Chin of stone, heart of clay! ~
  • U R A Crazy BreedU R A Crazy Breed Posts: 8,370
    edited April 2009
    i spoke to the bird about you and he wanted me to relay this message to you...

    BigBirdFinger.jpg

    "you'll never catch me you sick fuck..so kiss my feathered ass!!"

    ps..i hope you like what i did to your car!

    bird-shit.jpg
    Post edited by U R A Crazy Breed on
  • pjsycopjsyco Wilmington, NC Posts: 646
    THAT was a funny post, but don't kill the bird, continue to make sweet love to it. My inner "Chef" tells me to tell you to lay that birdie down and make sweet, sweet love to it, maybe by the fireplace. Afterwards, you might want to let it taste your big, salty balls.....just a thought.

    BTW, I fucked a bird once. It can get PRETTY dicey, so watch out. The repurcussions are bad: multiple babies if you don't wrap that thing up. Just sayin'....
  • Given to...Given to... Wyoming Posts: 4,997
    I am glad its a birdie and not a duck...
    "...would you like some forks?" EV 12-02-06
  • youngsteryoungster Boston Posts: 6,576
    poor bird.
    He who forgets will be destined to remember.

    9/29/04 Boston, 6/28/08 Mansfield, 8/23/09 Chicago, 5/15/10 Hartford
    5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
    8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
    EV Solo: 6/16/11 Boston, 6/18/11 Hartford,
  • OkOk Posts: 2,144
    Disturbing. :shock:
  • givn2fly26givn2fly26 Posts: 395
    I am speechless... :o
  • WildsWilds Posts: 4,329
    edited April 2009
    Hmmmmm..... wonder why they don't go to St. Louis?
    Post edited by Wilds on
  • U R A Crazy BreedU R A Crazy Breed Posts: 8,370
    givn2fly26 wrote:
    I am speechless... :o

    don't worry..this shit is getting deleted as soon as Sea/Kat come around..they don't like when you threaten the bird! :mrgreen::mrgreen:

    but i hope the OP is on a sex offender web site as to alert all the bird owners in his area.

    i can see him on Dateline showing up to the house with a bag of bird seed and lube. :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
  • PatrickBatemanPatrickBateman Posts: 2,243
    soooooo, why dont you tell us how you really feel
    If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
  • DewieCoxDewieCox Posts: 11,430
    Ornithological???, more like horny-thological
  • ZodZod Posts: 10,716
    Pearl Jam tours can be pretty spread out leaving alot of gaps. Alot of people road trip to see them. It's not like your the only one.

    Besides, roadtrips are fund, especially when you get to see pearl jam at the end.

    I'm thinking Pearl Jam isn't going to play Edmonton, but they might play Missoula or Vancouver, so that'd be at least 9-11 hours of driving.
  • DewieCoxDewieCox Posts: 11,430
    I live smack dab right in between St Lou and Indy, so I've been heartbroken several times the last few years, but I did something about it in 2008. Drove to Boston2.
  • Lennon_CobainLennon_Cobain Posts: 704
    realmgeorge wrote:
    All I am saying is, if you were indeed punishing us for being a red state, GET THE FUCK OVER IT.

    There are numerous states that have been left out since 2003, and it is time to forgive and forget.
    If you seriously think the band decides which cities to play based on the voting preferences of its citizens then you are crazy.
    "I'll end up alone like I began..."

    "You need the patience of like a National Geographic photographer sitting underneath the bush in a tent, trying to get a picture of zebras fucking or something for the first time." -Eddie Vedder
  • TheLostSoulTheLostSoul Posts: 773
    settle down francis
    I miss you hippiemom.
  • jimbojones1138jimbojones1138 Posts: 3,640
    TheLostSoul wrote:
    settle down francis


    if anyone calls me francis...ill kill ya ;)
    it's largely due to eddie that i liked to jump off of things as a child...
  • LoveBoatAdmiralLoveBoatAdmiral Posts: 1,191
    best... post... ever.
    2006- Boston I
    2008- Boston I+II
    2009- Toronto, Philly III+IV
    2010- Bristow, Hartford, Boston, Newark
  • TheLostSoulTheLostSoul Posts: 773
    jimbojones1138 wrote:
    TheLostSoul wrote:
    settle down francis


    if anyone calls me francis...ill kill ya ;)

    :D
    I miss you hippiemom.
  • mfc2006mfc2006 HTOWN Posts: 37,484
    wow.
    I LOVE MUSIC.
    www.cluthelee.com
    www.cluthe.com
  • like.echoeslike.echoes Posts: 582
    U R A Crazy Breed wrote:
    i spoke to the bird about you and he wanted me to relay this message to you...

    BigBirdFinger.jpg

    "you'll never catch me you sick fuck..so kiss my feathered ass!!"

    ps..i hope you like what i did to your car!

    bird-shit.jpg

    This is hilarious. The rest of this thread is pretty fucking sick though!
    nothing's changed but the surrounding bullsh1t
This discussion has been closed.