nothing

LikeAnOcean

Over it.. not a problem.. move on..

LikeAnOcean

Here's a thought..

Maybe I should ask for advise from another girl I have a thing for, maybe she will fill pity for me and help take my mind off this one?

Hmmm..


I need some alcohol tonight.

Heatherj43

LikeAnOcean wrote:

I have a little problem..

Well its not so little.


This is not my first post about this, but this will be my last, I promise.

My best friend started dating a girl a few years back. I was very jealous of him at first because I really liked this girl, and he took forever to get anything official going in their relationship, but after a few months my jealousy faded and I was happy for them, and we all became very close.

Well he dumped her six weeks ago and I've remained her friend, and my crush for her has gotten blown out of proportion!

He dumped her for dumb reasons that I can't get over. She has kids and problems at home and he is tired of dealing with her problems. I am the opposite and am compelled to help her, think she is awesome and beautiful!

He knows me and her have been hanging out as friends after their break-up, and he is cool with it,.. but still, this is my best friends ex! I am stuck here! I can't do anything!

Do I need to just cut my balls off and call it a day?

What would you do?

My best friend did that to me many years ago, and lied that she wasn't seeing him. I quit talking to her. It was like she was taking confidential stuff I would say to her and tell him. Our mutual friends would ask me why won't I forgive her. It wasn't that I wouldn't forgive her, but it was that I could never trust her with private stuff anymore. She became just an acquaintance. Plus, she would lie to me about the two of them being together. He's the one who ended up telling me the truth.
A year later she came to my house crying and said she missed our friendship. My stupid ass gave our friendship another chance. She again lied like crazy. She was still seeing him and still denying it. Her husband ended up coming over and yelling at me. He wanted to know why I didn't tell him!! I told him, "why the fuck did you think we weren't friends anymore?". He said he knew I had accused her of this, but she told him I was just crazy!! He had known me since 1st grade!!
I will speak to her if I happen to see her, but, NO, never can we be friends. I can't trust her.

soulsinging

Basically, you're fucked. You've already fallen for her, so you can't just shut it off. You could make a pass at her, but even if she accepts it you're only a rebound while she gets over your friend and then she'll break your heart. As to the friend, he dumped her. Fair game in my book. You might want to tell him you're going to ask her out though.

Heatherj43

soulsinging wrote:

Basically, you're fucked. You've already fallen for her, so you can't just shut it off. You could make a pass at her, but even if she accepts it you're only a rebound while she gets over your friend and then she'll break your heart. As to the friend, he dumped her. Fair game in my book. You might want to tell him you're going to ask her out though.

YEAH! I don't feel an ex is fair game to a very good friend.

soulsinging

Heatherj43 wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

Basically, you're fucked. You've already fallen for her, so you can't just shut it off. You could make a pass at her, but even if she accepts it you're only a rebound while she gets over your friend and then she'll break your heart. As to the friend, he dumped her. Fair game in my book. You might want to tell him you're going to ask her out though.

YEAH! I don't feel an ex is fair game to a very good friend.

If he dumped her, I say she's fair game as long as you give him the heads up. If she dumped him and broke his hear, you never touch her. But he got rid of her, he can't lay a claim.

LikeAnOcean

soulsinging wrote:

Heatherj43 wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

Basically, you're fucked. You've already fallen for her, so you can't just shut it off. You could make a pass at her, but even if she accepts it you're only a rebound while she gets over your friend and then she'll break your heart. As to the friend, he dumped her. Fair game in my book. You might want to tell him you're going to ask her out though.

YEAH! I don't feel an ex is fair game to a very good friend.

If he dumped her, I say she's fair game as long as you give him the heads up. If she dumped him and broke his hear, you never touch her. But he got rid of her, he can't lay a claim.

Heres the thing though, she is friends with all of his friends. How could I ever hang out with my friends and bring her with, especially in front of him?

Heatherj43

soulsinging wrote:

Heatherj43 wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

Basically, you're fucked. You've already fallen for her, so you can't just shut it off. You could make a pass at her, but even if she accepts it you're only a rebound while she gets over your friend and then she'll break your heart. As to the friend, he dumped her. Fair game in my book. You might want to tell him you're going to ask her out though.

YEAH! I don't feel an ex is fair game to a very good friend.

If he dumped her, I say she's fair game as long as you give him the heads up. If she dumped him and broke his heart, you never touch her. But he got rid of her, he can't lay a claim.

I dumped the guy I was referring to, but that doesn't mean my emotions just shut off, like that! I had tons of emotions. The more this was going on in my face and her lying, the worse my emotions became. I even got to the point that I thought I wanted him back, I didn't.
It really messed me up. This was 20 years ago, but that is the only past relationship that I don't get along with and will not talk to. The only one I ended up in counseling over. For him I think it was all one big game.
Its a sticky situation. I know my ex-friend is no longer with him and hasn't been in years, but I also know she wishes I was still in her life.
Good friends are hard to come by, men and/or women will come and go.

Heatherj43

[/quote]

If he dumped her, I say she's fair game as long as you give him the heads up. If she dumped him and broke his hear, you never touch her. But he got rid of her, he can't lay a claim.[/quote]
Heres the thing though, she is friends with all of his friends. How could I ever hang out with my friends and bring her with, especially in front of him?[/quote]





See, you are already feeling uncomfortable. I guess you need to think of how much his friendship means to you. She is on the rebound. She may be temporary. What about him? That's what you have to decide.

LikeAnOcean

Well I've decided I myself am not going to push anything forward. It's not in me. I can't. If she starts to come on to me, I will have to re evaluate the situation, and talk to my buddy.

She's out tonight and tomorrow trying to meet other guys, so that bothers me a little, She's an attractive girl and that won't be hard. I'm trying to put away any jealousy. We are set to have dinner together Sunday though, as "friends".

soulsinging

Heatherj43 wrote:

I dumped the guy I was referring to, but that doesn't mean my emotions just shut off, like that! I had tons of emotions. The more this was going on in my face and her lying, the worse my emotions became. I even got to the point that I thought I wanted him back, I didn't.
It really messed me up. This was 20 years ago, but that is the only past relationship that I don't get along with and will not talk to. The only one I ended up in counseling over. For him I think it was all one big game.
Its a sticky situation. I know my ex-friend is no longer with him and hasn't been in years, but I also know she wishes I was still in her life.
Good friends are hard to come by, men and/or women will come and go.

Yeah but your friend lied to you about being with him, as did he (if he acted like it was a game). And your friend was cheating on her husband with this guy. A little bit different from a friend that is honest with you and truly cares about the person and she's with him for the same reasons. Plus, girls work different from guys. Girls like to keep all their ex's as friends, just in case they need a fall back plan. Guys know you never cock block a buddy, unless you're talking about not pursuing a girl you know your guy wants.

soulsinging

LikeAnOcean wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

If he dumped her, I say she's fair game as long as you give him the heads up. If she dumped him and broke his hear, you never touch her. But he got rid of her, he can't lay a claim.

Heres the thing though, she is friends with all of his friends. How could I ever hang out with my friends and bring her with, especially in front of him?

So ask him if it's ok with him. Maybe he'll just be relieved to not have to feel guilty.

LikeAnOcean

soulsinging wrote:

LikeAnOcean wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

If he dumped her, I say she's fair game as long as you give him the heads up. If she dumped him and broke his hear, you never touch her. But he got rid of her, he can't lay a claim.

Heres the thing though, she is friends with all of his friends. How could I ever hang out with my friends and bring her with, especially in front of him?

So ask him if it's ok with him. Maybe he'll just be relieved to not have to feel guilty.

He won't even give me an honest answer to why he broke up with her, I doubt he'd give me an honest answer as to whether he'd be ok with me dating her.

Heatherj43

soulsinging wrote:

LikeAnOcean wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

If he dumped her, I say she's fair game as long as you give him the heads up. If she dumped him and broke his hear, you never touch her. But he got rid of her, he can't lay a claim.

Heres the thing though, she is friends with all of his friends. How could I ever hang out with my friends and bring her with, especially in front of him?

So ask him if it's ok with him. Maybe he'll just be relieved to not have to feel guilty.

Hmmm. Okay maybe guys and girls act different in these matters. I'd wonder if the guy would say its okay, but inside really be jealous. To me, that sounds like something a guy would do, maybe to act macho, or non-feeling.
You know your friend. It sounds like you really like her and are afraid she may get away and you may never know what could had been.
Eeks, no wonder you posted and said, HELP.

soulsinging

LikeAnOcean wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

So ask him if it's ok with him. Maybe he'll just be relieved to not have to feel guilty.

He won't even give me an honest answer to why he broke up with her, I doubt he'd give me an honest answer as to whether he'd be ok with me dating her.

You won't know unless you ask.

soulsinging

LikeAnOcean wrote:

Well I've decided I myself am not going to push anything forward. It's not in me. I can't. If she starts to come on to me, I will have to re evaluate the situation, and talk to my buddy.

She's out tonight and tomorrow trying to meet other guys, so that bothers me a little, She's an attractive girl and that won't be hard. I'm trying to put away any jealousy. We are set to have dinner together Sunday though, as "friends".

Better she gets the rebound out of the way with one of them than with you.

So where's she going and what's she look like... I'm free tomorrow night

Just messin!

LikeAnOcean

soulsinging wrote:

LikeAnOcean wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

So ask him if it's ok with him. Maybe he'll just be relieved to not have to feel guilty.

He won't even give me an honest answer to why he broke up with her, I doubt he'd give me an honest answer as to whether he'd be ok with me dating her.

You won't know unless you ask.

Even if he said its fine, which I know he will, he may not mean it. He's like that. He hides all of his feelings.

LikeAnOcean

soulsinging wrote:

LikeAnOcean wrote:

Well I've decided I myself am not going to push anything forward. It's not in me. I can't. If she starts to come on to me, I will have to re evaluate the situation, and talk to my buddy.

She's out tonight and tomorrow trying to meet other guys, so that bothers me a little, She's an attractive girl and that won't be hard. I'm trying to put away any jealousy. We are set to have dinner together Sunday though, as "friends".

Better she gets the rebound out of the way with one of them than with you.

So where's she going and what's she look like... I'm free tomorrow night

Just messin!

See what I mean!

FUCK!!!

I need to find someone else! lol

soulsinging

LikeAnOcean wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

LikeAnOcean wrote:

Well I've decided I myself am not going to push anything forward. It's not in me. I can't. If she starts to come on to me, I will have to re evaluate the situation, and talk to my buddy.

She's out tonight and tomorrow trying to meet other guys, so that bothers me a little, She's an attractive girl and that won't be hard. I'm trying to put away any jealousy. We are set to have dinner together Sunday though, as "friends".

Better she gets the rebound out of the way with one of them than with you.

So where's she going and what's she look like... I'm free tomorrow night

Just messin!

See what I mean!

FUCK!!!

I need to find someone else. lol.

No... what do you mean?

LikeAnOcean

soulsinging wrote:

LikeAnOcean wrote:

No... what do you mean?

I went out with her last weekend, saw her getting hit on by other guys and couldn't take it. I got very jealous and there was nothing I could do about it.


Should I try to get the opinion from another girl I have a thing for? She might think I'm very sweet and want to take my mind of this one.

Heatherj43

A lot of girls know this, and guys might also, the best way to get over a past love is to get a new one. Usually these aren't for good. Its just to keep busy and a stepping stone to get through.

soulsinging

Heatherj43 wrote:

A lot of girls know this, and guys might also, the best way to get over a past love is to get a new one. Usually these aren't for good. Its just to keep busy and a stepping stone to get through.

Yeah, we know that one too. It's how I know my current gf isn't the one... I think about my past love constantly still.

soulsinging

LikeAnOcean wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

LikeAnOcean wrote:

No... what do you mean?

I went out with her last weekend, saw her getting hit on by other guys and couldn't take it. I got very jealous and there was nothing I could do about it.

Should I try to get the opinion from another girl I have a thing for? She might think I'm very sweet and want to take my mind of this one.

Meaning use the one crush to get some action and take your mind off the current crush? Sure. Just so long as you know if she finds out what you're doing you'll lose any hope of having a real shot with her. Or if she's got an interest in you, it might piss her off or make her jealous.

Heatherj43

And you know, even if she doesn't, that she's not really the one.

Brain of J.Lo

If your friend dumped her, then he has made his feelings clear. It's not up to him...it's up to her! If you really dig her, and he has made it clear that he doesn't want her...quit wasting time and go for it.

LikeAnOcean

Brain of J.Lo wrote:

If your friend dumped her, then he has made his feelings clear. It's not up to him...it's up to her! If you really dig her, and he has made it clear that he doesn't want her...quit wasting time and go for it.

I will leave it up to her.. I will show interest. I will keep offering to be there, and if anything, just expect a good friend out of it.

It's all just very frustrating. I wish it wasn't so complicated.. What in life isn't complicated though.

SPEEDY MCCREADY

JUST SLEEP WITH HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you still disgust me...........hehehehehehehehehehehe