Looking for a roommate...how do I weed out creepers?

Arcticangel

My current roommate and I need someone to take over the 3rd bedroom on our lease next year...so we posted on Craigslist and Facebook marketplace and I put signs up around campus...
Now that I've started getting some responses, how do I weed out the creepers? I mean, it is a house, we do share the kitchen, living room, and single bathroom...
And if we meet someone and have them tour the place but then decide that they're a creeper (or at least not a great fit for the house) then what?!?!
Help me out here - I'm way too nice of a person sometimes and am always worried about offending people - so how can I tactfully ask for some background before opening my doors?

Thoughts_Arrive

Sit them down for a chat, see what kind of music they are into.
If they don't mention Pearl Jam then you need to eliminate them from the list of candidates.

pretext

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

Sit them down for a chat, see what kind of music they are into.
If they don't mention Pearl Jam then you need to eliminate them from the list of candidates.

Agreed. Musical screening. Since you're from Bon Iver Land, if they don't know him, that's another elimination factor.

Arcticangel

Me and my roommate are both college seniors and just want another student-type to move in...someone else who has to study, and be responsible, and then likes to drink to excess on occasion. All the people I get on Craigslist are all like 5 years older than and and French (WTF?!). Oh, and they're all like traveling orphan nurses or something too. Seriously. Anyone want to move to Bon Iver land? Haha

WaveCameCrashin

ask them if they can provide any references. IMO that's the best way to find out what kind of person they are.Also you might want to do a 2nd interview before you make a final decision.

Heineken Helen

Arcticangel wrote:

Me and my roommate are both college seniors and just want another student-type to move in...someone else who has to study, and be responsible, and then likes to drink to excess on occasion. All the people I get on Craigslist are all like 5 years older than and and French (WTF?!). Oh, and they're all like traveling orphan nurses or something too. Seriously. Anyone want to move to Bon Iver land? Haha

Lol, when I was advertising rooms I never answered my phone so I'd make them leave a message to see if they could speak proper English or not. I'm not against foreigners but I want to live with someone I can at least communicate with. Then, I'd make appointments for them to view it... it was like an interview, ask them questions when you're showing them around, this is normal... just like 'so what do you do?' 'where are you from' etc etc. Then offer them a coffee or something, I preferred those who hung around for a bit and chatted, rather than ran off straight away, and you can just have a chat over the coffee and get to know a bit more about them. You'll usually decide then if you like them or not.

If they say they're interested and you're not sure about them, just say you've got a few more people coming around so it wouldn't be fair to decide before meeting them and say you plan on making a decision on whatever day. Usually though people don't decide on the spot... sometimes they do and that's cool... don't judge people on their appearances either... my ex housemate was fantastic but when I opened the door to him, I almost closed it straight away... but he was one who stayed for coffee and after a few minutes my mind had changed on him.

Ultimately though you can never REALLY tell with these meetings. You can tell whether they're RELATIVELY normal or capable of holding a conversation... but after that, you're just depending on luck. I've been very very lucky though... only had one weirdo... but he was completely harmless, just a pain in the arse.

Also, I've never done this, but if you're really nervous, you can always ask them for references.


Anything else ya wanna know? I've done this quite a few times over the past couple of years.

patrickredeyes

Arcticangel wrote:

likes to drink to excess on occasion.

Yea that's commenn here in Wisconsin. hehe

Heineken Helen

Arcticangel wrote:

Me and my roommate are both college seniors and just want another student-type to move in...someone else who has to study, and be responsible, and then likes to drink to excess on occasion. All the people I get on Craigslist are all like 5 years older than and and French (WTF?!). Oh, and they're all like traveling orphan nurses or something too. Seriously. Anyone want to move to Bon Iver land? Haha

also, ya know ya can put that on the ad? Say that you're looking for someone who has to study and be responsible but knows how to let their hair down at times... I had one foreign girl call once... she'd very little English and was asking for a room for her Dad cos he can't speak English and then asked if we take rent allowance :shock: Luckily, we didn't take rent allowance so I used that as the excuse

Heineken Helen

Arcticangel wrote:

My current roommate and I need someone to take over the 3rd bedroom on our lease next year...so we posted on Craigslist and Facebook marketplace and I put signs up around campus...
Now that I've started getting some responses, how do I weed out the creepers? I mean, it is a house, we do share the kitchen, living room, and single bathroom...
And if we meet someone and have them tour the place but then decide that they're a creeper (or at least not a great fit for the house) then what?!?!
Help me out here - I'm way too nice of a person sometimes and am always worried about offending people - so how can I tactfully ask for some background before opening my doors?

Ooohh... sorry... BEFORE opening your doors??? Sounds like maybe you wanna be looking for female only? How are they contacting you? Messages? Email? Phone? There's very little you can find out before you meet them... cos they could simply lie anyway... it's easier to tell face to face. Change the ad and put in something like 'send an email to xxxxxxxxxxxx telling me a bit about yourself and please be prepared to supply references'. If I was looking for a room and somebody was asking where I'm from and what I do etc. my back would be up and I'd have a bad feeling about it. I wouldn't wanna GIVE too much info before meeting the person cos THEY don't know who they're emailing either.

AND if after all this, somebody comes and you feel weirded out by them... subtley mention the cop that lives next door and say what a safe neighbourhood it is, that everyone looks out for everyone (as if you're selling it to them). And mention that your boyfriend stays a couple of times a week

Arcticangel

Thanks Helen. You're the bestest.
I'm trying to do all of this but be polite at the same time...
I felt like two of the people who responded to my Craigslist add sounded very similar...now I realize it's the same person using two different email addresses sending me the same email from each of them essentially. RED FLAG! haha
Oh this is a lot harder than I thought this was going to be... my roommate are already signed on for the next year and if we can't find a 3rd housemate we're going to have to split that rent which is WAY out of my price range (the house is already towards the top of it..) but we can't exactly break our lease either (and even if we did it would be hard to find a place as nice as this and as close to campus/my work as this...) UGH!!

Heineken Helen

Arcticangel wrote:

Thanks Helen. You're the bestest.
I'm trying to do all of this but be polite at the same time...
I felt like two of the people who responded to my Craigslist add sounded very similar...now I realize it's the same person using two different email addresses sending me the same email from each of them essentially. RED FLAG! haha
Oh this is a lot harder than I thought this was going to be... my roommate are already signed on for the next year and if we can't find a 3rd housemate we're going to have to split that rent which is WAY out of my price range (the house is already towards the top of it..) but we can't exactly break our lease either (and even if we did it would be hard to find a place as nice as this and as close to campus/my work as this...) UGH!!

it's your first time doing this? Say in the ad EXACTLY what kinda person you're looking for and try and make it seem like you're fun (which I'm sure you are) and you'll get more people interested, also go on about the best features of the house... beside campus (beside shops? Bus? Train? Pub?). Say everything that's special about the place and about you and your housemate.

Ooohh that's odd that they're using two different emails :oops: How many replies have you had? Did you state the house is available immediately? I used to advertise WELL in advance but only REALLY got people interested when it got close to the deadline.

Stop panicking... You WILL get somebody... it's just not gonna happen overnight. If the worst comes to the worst, can you afford to pay the extra rent for a month? Even if it's a struggle, it's likely you'll find someone in the next week or two, but if you're prepared to pay extra for ONE month, it takes all the pressure off.

Tell everybody you know that you're looking for somebody, chances are they may know somebody. Put ads up EVERYWHERE. In Ireland we've got a website called DAFT.ie which is where I always got my housemates from and it's fantastic... it's specifically for people looking for housemates/tenants and for people looking for accommodation. There must be something similar where you are? Google it.

mfc2006

when i was an undergrad, we always talked to our friends first. asked if they knew anyone that was looking for a place----then we'd at least have someone we knew to give us some insight.

another thing we'd do (if that didn't work), is post an ad on campus. those bulletin boards are everywhere. plus, lots of people have no clue where they'll be living once the semester is over. also---your school's website might have a forum online for students. i'd post an ad there if you can. good luck! i know what it's like to rush into getting a roommate---not fun. take your time to find a good fit!

jamminpearls

what ever u do make sure u get 1st and last months rent,just in case.

Heineken Helen

jamminpearls wrote:

what ever u do make sure u get 1st and last months rent,just in case.

Agreed! Although if the person seemed reasonable, I used to give them a week or two to get together the last months rent... cos not everybody has this kinda money ready! But I never had a problem getting it off them. Best to deal with cash too... one or two wanted my bank details to lodge the money but I'm not happy with that. I used to tell them that the entire rent came out of my account each month so that way they couldn't be late with the rent. Also another option is to tell them the rent's due a day or two earlier than it is to make sure they're not late. And remind them about a week before. I dunno if you're actually gonna be collecting the money off them or not but this was the main area I used to have some problems in... with people just not being organised enough to have the rent on time. I know they didn't do it on purpose and that's why I'd remind them a few days before.

Also, do a cleaning rota... don't wait and see how clean the person is... have the rota in place before they move in... cos this could cause problems down the line and it's more difficult to address when it's ALREADY a problem than before it becomes a problem

JOEJOEJOE

Arcticangel wrote:

My current roommate and I need someone to take over the 3rd bedroom on our lease next year...so we posted on Craigslist and Facebook marketplace and I put signs up around campus...
Now that I've started getting some responses, how do I weed out the creepers? I mean, it is a house, we do share the kitchen, living room, and single bathroom...
And if we meet someone and have them tour the place but then decide that they're a creeper (or at least not a great fit for the house) then what?!?!
Help me out here - I'm way too nice of a person sometimes and am always worried about offending people - so how can I tactfully ask for some background before opening my doors?

Does your college have a housing department...if so, perhaps they can match you up with a fellow student?

At all costs, I would refrain from renting rooms to Irish women who think they know everything!

adropinthepark

I see a lot of suggestions, experiences and ideas that break fair housing and/or tenant laws here, at least the ones I'm familiar with. I understand, but I just had to get that off my chest.

_

I was in college for a long time and had a big house to fill, so I've been in your situation about 15 times. Here's my advice, for what it's worth:

Find out whether your college has an off-campus housing department (or some such program). Mine did and I was able put up a listing. I found most of my roommates this way.

Be specific about what you want. Do you want a specific gender? Age? Student status? Smoker or non-smoker? (Note that saying "non-smoker" is different than saying "no smoking". I've had people take "no smoking" to mean they can stand outside the door and smoke, which wasn't okay with me.) Responsible? Studious? Neat & clean?

Be specific about who you are, but not too specific if you're allowing men. You want them to know your lifestyle. Full-time student? Work nights? Etc. But one time when I guy found out me and my 19-year-old twin sister were looking for a roommate he somehow took that as some kind of Girls Gone Wild invitation and brought a friend when he came to see the place. We found out later that he and his friend had a bunch of beer in the car and were expecting to, ummm... "party". Of course we didn't find this out until after he had already moved in. He ended up operating a Psychic Friends Hotline out of our house, letting his 4-year-old (who he never told us about) play in my bedroom (where I kept a loaded gun with the safety off within her reach), giving us hot checks for the rent, skipping out in the middle of the night, and then stalking me years later saying I was the "one who got away". ANYway... most of my roommates have been men and I still think they were the best, but you just might want to be careful about revealing any information on a flyer that might attract weirdos. :shock:

As I said, I found that my best roommates were men. They were just more respectful of my space and my stuff, whereas some of my female roommates would borrow my clothes without asking, for instance. (I didn't have to share a bathroom with the men though.) I also found that my best roommates were older guys I had never met before. Once again, they weren't always in my business. Plus, living with people who aren't in your circle can really expand your horizons. And I think there was less drama since they were older. (By older, I mean I was 18-23 and they were 27-32.)

Don't be shy or worried about being too nice when you're interviewing them. Being straightforward about your expectations will help them decide whether they want to live there too. Plus, it's FAR better to be rude in the moment than be stuck with a roommate you don't like. I remember one time when a guy came to look at a room in my place and I thought he seemed nice at first but after talking to him I realized he really bugged me. Then my roommate said, "Well I like you so, unless scb doesn't, you can move in." I wasn't able to look him in the eye and tell him he seemed like a cocky bastard. So I just said, "Uh, sure." When he left I gave my roommate shit for doing that. He called the guy back and said it was off. When the guy asked why, he said, "Scb doesn't like you." I felt horrible. I ran into that guy on campus a couple of weeks later and pretended like I was my twin sister who had never met him.

Okay, I'll stop now. I'm trying to rival Helen with the lengthy advice.

soulsinging

scb wrote:

As I said, I found that my best roommates were men. They were just more respectful of my space and my stuff, whereas some of my female roommates would borrow my clothes without asking, for instance. (I didn't have to share a bathroom with the men though.) I also found that my best roommates were older guys I had never met before. Once again, they weren't always in my business. Plus, living with people who aren't in your circle can really expand your horizons. And I think there was less drama since they were older. (By older, I mean I was 18-23 and they were 27-32.)

Please pass this advice on to the Cleveland community so that when I move I can live in a house full of 18-23 year old girls

_

1. Have the new person sign a lease directly with the landlord so s/he is responsible if s/he doesn't pay the rent, instead of you being responsible. If the utilities are in your name, have him/her sign another contract directly with you for that.

2. You can have a credit or background check run like would be done if s/he was renting an apartment or something. These cost money, though. Some people have the applicant pay the fee. I've never done this, but it could give you a little extra security.

3. Don't lie to them. You're in landlord mode when you're interviewing them, but don't forget that you'll have to live with the person and will likely become friends. If you lie to them now, you'll regret it later. Either they'll find out, or you'll be worried they'll find out and have to maintain the lie.

4. Since housework can be a HUGE source on tension between roommates, when people come to see your house you might as well keep it exactly as it normally is. That way they know what they're getting into and can decide if it's a good fit. I don't believe there's any right or wrong to keeping house, just as long as everyone's on the same page.

Heatherj43

Make sure you get proper paper work for whoever you do decide upon. Like, a lease or some type of agreement, WRITTEN!
And be careful not to discriminate. The laws are quite clear. Search this stuff onlne to CYA.

Heineken Helen

adropinthepark wrote:

I see a lot of suggestions, experiences and ideas that break fair housing and/or tenant laws here, at least the ones I'm familiar with. I understand, but I just had to get that off my chest.

like what??? Weeding out those who can't speak English?

I never said it TO them or put it on the ad... I simply didn't answer my phone so that they'd leave a message and I could decide if I wanted to show them around or not.

What laws are being broken?

Heineken Helen

JOEJOEJOE wrote:

Does your college have a housing department...if so, perhaps they can match you up with a fellow student?

At all costs, I would refrain from renting rooms to Irish women who think they know everything!

:roll: she asked for help... I offered some advice... this is something I do know a bit about since I've BEEN in her situation several times. Oh and I have a house thank you.