Honor in song

mikejr0005

Hello Everyone,

I wanted to make a topic on this because of the importance to me, I know that there may be some similar topics, but the is personal and I just wanted to say it. Delete this if its a problem, but its just on my mind.

I am 21 years old and just lost my father. We were extremely close and I feel a great loss. Its soo hard to describe or put into words, but I am soo proud of him and love him soo much. I will miss him forever, and I will always think of him.

I was wanting to talk about honor in a song, I played Man of the Hour at his funeral a week ago, and I kept getting compliments on the song choice by a lot of people. They said it fit perfectly. Truth is me and my father loved the song and I thought about that more so than anything. My father had a stroke, and to try and get his mind back working, I played him music. Pearl Jam was our favorite band together, and he loved to sing along.... espicially Given to Fly... lol

My point is scattered, and I'm sorry if this is wasting anyone's time, but I would like to express how important music is to me. It has helped me in every situation in life, especially the bad ones.... This time in my life is extremely confusing, and hard. I pop in a song, and just play it. I scream my heart out just because I feel like its being matched in the song. I know its weird, but its how I feel.

I've visited these boards without joining for a good 8 months, but I felt that I had to. Everyone here seems like great people with a common love for one thing, music.

I guess for replys sake the question I have is do you have a song that you feels like honors you, or a loved one/ friend?

The lyric that I hang onto right now is " The Man of the Hour has taken his final bow, as the curtain comes down, I feel that this is just goodbye for NOW"

-Mike

mickeyrat

As cheesy as it sounds , music (more so with PJ ) has been and is the soundtrack to my life.

PrlJamin10

I am logged on under my boyfriends account, but I was reading the message board and came across this entry and I felt that I needed to share my experience. My father, who I was extremely close to, past away this past November and I also played Man of The Hour at his funeral. My dad also liked Pearl Jam, but I am not sure if he ever heard that song. I played it for my piece of mind. I think that the lyrics said more than I ever could have. At the bottom of one of the picture boards I had written "the man of the hour has taken his final bow....goodbye for now." I know that I will see him again one day so that helps me when I hear the song. So, I totally understand where you are coming from and I feel the same way.

When I have a bad day and I cry about it I switch between that song and Coldplay's "Fix You." The lyrics make me cry since they are so true.

OGT92

Sorry to both of you for your loss. I can't imagine going through that.

Red_Dot

So sorry for your loss. Keep that chin up, and keep PJ playing.

I think most of us here feel the same way about music as you.
I know it means so much to me, and life would suck without it!

mikejr0005

Thank everyone for their kind words.

To me, I know its a phrase, but Music is my life right now. Some how its brought up in every conversation or I am always thinking about it or using it for therapy.

Prljammin10, sorry about your loss too. I can't tell you anything that you don't already know, but it helps to know that there is a life for us to live too until we die and meet again.

Thank everyone again

-Mike

mfc2006

hi there....
it's tough to lose a parent. when my Dad passed away about 3 years ago, i felt empty. ALS is a cruel disease & we had no way of knowing that his condition had slipped so far so quickly. i, too found a tremendous amount of comfort in "Man of the Hour". i found myself listening to "moth", "release" & "thumbing my way" over & over again.

to you both (and to all others) that have lost a parent recently, i can say this: you'll always miss them. it'll always hurt, but you will grow. you will have daily reminders of their love. they are there with you. your steps become their steps, and in time, you will gain strength & comfort in their absence. i know that seems impossible now, but it does happen.

my life changed completely when i lost my Dad. my focus re-shifted, i remembered how to live and everything that i am today is in large part b/c of my father's influence. i am truly honored to be his son.

i am a musician/songwriter...and i wrote this song the last christmas that i saw my Dad. it turned out to be the last time i saw him. period. when i wrote it, i felt like Dad was helping me write it. here are the words...i hope that you can find a bit of comfort in them. my thoughts are with you all that are missing a parent....or anyone else that was close to your heart.

-Matt

-see you again-

it's hard to see the shell
crumble, crack & fade
it's harder to tell
truth from mistakes

but now there is a line
that echoes in my head
if i could pass the time
i'm better off instead

people rarely know
where it is drawn
it's sad to seek it out
you're always wanting more

for this, we all depart
through a crowded stair
always looking down
always unaware

so hard to see the shell
crumble, crack & fade
harder to tell..
truth from mistakes

but i'll always look to you
and that'll never change
i'll follow through
until i see you again

mikejr0005

First off I want to say that is a great song.

"they are there with you. your steps become their steps"

Thats the biggest thing I have right now, I am a j.r. and everyone keeps telling me I look and act like my father, when he died last month, I lost my best friend. I take comfort that he raised me to be a man, and live my life, to do good things so I can see him again.

"MOTH" , "Porch", and "Immortality" are songs I am playing to release my emotions, usually at night by myself.

I think it take a special person to completely take in music, and to find meaning and apply it to theirselves. To really enjoy it completely, not saying its wrong to just like the tunes, but for some its a major part of our lives.

Me and my father would stay up for hours listening to music, espicially of of youtube. I subscribed to every active PJ account that uploaded new videos and always went to the living room to play them to him.

He had a major stroke, and lived 2 more weeks afterwards, I took time off of my job to stay with him, and it was wonderfull, because I got to tell him how much I loved him, our last words to each other was actually I love you..... For that I know I am truely blessed.

After his stroke, his mental functions became a little hindered, and we had to try and rehab it. He soon could do a few things, and I remember staying up with him and playing him music, and he sang Given to fly with me in the room. It was his favorite PJ song, partly because of the DVD when Vedder sang with the lady who signed the song to the crowd. I will always cherrish that memory of singing with my dad in the middle of the night a week before he passed.

I know I am getting a little winded, considering what this board is for. So I will stop, but I want to thank all of you for your kind words. Its still going to be a long road for me, but I mean it when I say music is saving my life.

Also, to MFC, do you have a website or anything with your music? I'd be interested in giving it a listen.

-Mike

dcfaithful

Mike,
I am deeply sorry for your loss. Sounds like your father was a great man, and I think it's extremely big of you to honor him in such a way.

I'm 20, will soon be 21. I can understand to the fullest on how you feel about life right now, crazy shit happens and when you lose a friend, a mentor, and a loved one there is a feeling of emptiness.

Almost two years ago I lost my sister. I was 2,000 miles away from home, and the last thing we talked about was planning a trip together to Disneyland with her kids, husband, my girlfriend, and myself. My father left when I was 11 so I always felt that there was a bond that was broken and it hurt. My sister( who had been in and out of my life as a child with her addiction) became to me, what your father must have been to you. A friend with that unbreakable bond. When my sister was gone, I felt like someone had taken my legs and my knowledge on how to move. But your dad is still there, I promise. He's singing Given To Fly right now, and just waiting for you to chime in.

I didn't mean to tell you my story, but I wanted to let you know that I can for sure relate to your loss, and even more so the importance of a bond with a loved one. I also wanted to make the point that this board is a place for comfort. There are DAMN good people here, who care and are concerned for everyone's well-being, and I am now concerned with yours after hearing your loss.

Remember the lessons your dad taught you, and what kind of man you've grown to be because of his love and support, he'll always be there in spirit in your heart and in your mind.

The support and comfort I received on this board after losing my sister really changed my perception about it, and helped me find the ability to move forward, while honoring the memory of her. I hope my words, and everyone elses will do exactly the same for you.

I've always got an open ear, if you feel the need to talk, shoot me a PM.
We're a family here, and the support is continuous.

Peace,
Dave

mikejr0005

I want to say thank you again to everyone.

Everyone has helped me through out the hardest time in my life. There are soo many good people here. Everyone of your personal stories has touched me, and your kind words to a absolute stranger is overwhelming.

I'll keep this short, and tell everyone once again thank you.

I cannot say it enough.

-Mike

mfc2006

Just keep your head up. Give each day a fair chance. In time, it will be easier. Not exactly easy, but easier to deal with. He'll always be with you, man.

Just let me/us know if you need anything, Mike. Take care--
Matt

mikejr0005

Thank you Matt, you've been such a big help man.

I love those lyrics too, thank you soo much for your kindness and support.

Its been a month ago since the funeral, and I am trying to pick up my pieces. Music is my number one guide, and its helped a lot.

Thank you for all of your support, truely thank you.

-Mike

Fifthelement

I just came across this thread and wanted to offer my condolences to all of you who have lost someone important to you. Hugs and good vibes to all of you.

Peace

Thoughts_Arrive

The fact that you and your dad shared the love for Pearl Jam is cool.
I'm going through a tough time at the moment watching my beloved cat fade away.
He's old and sick and on his last legs, the vet cannot do no more.
I've been playing my Ten super deluxe edition all weekend long, takes my mind off things.

mikejr0005

Thank you Fithelement. You are very kind.

Thoughts_Arrive, I'm sorry to hear about that. pets become family, and its just as tough seeing them go.

I hope everything works out for you.

Thoughts_Arrive

Thanks dude.
The hardest part is saying bye to him every night not knowing if we will find him dead or alive in the morning.
Didn't get to do that tonight, he was somewhere in our garden sleeping

dcfaithful

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

Thanks dude.
The hardest part is saying bye to him every night not knowing if we will find him dead or alive in the morning.
Didn't get to do that tonight, he was somewhere in our garden sleeping

Thoughts_Arrive,
This broke my heart...I'm SO sorry to hear about your cat...I would give you the biggest hug if I could...I am so close with my dog, I dread the day that we must part ways...

All my support and condolences

megatron

i dont even wanna think about the day of parting with anyone. lucky for me most of my family is still here.

i think its great u played the song and if anyone complains about your song choice there's something wrong there..
it was special to u so how can it be questioned?

truly sorry for your loss

Thoughts_Arrive

Thanks guys, life really sucks at the moment.
I wish I was at home and not at work so I can enjoy the time that's left.
I can't focus at work.

mikejr0005

Thank you Race That Can't Be Won, thanks for your thoughts and concerns. It really helps, and it means a lot. Thank you.

Everyone was really happy about the song, a lot of people asked about it, and commented on how it fit in every way. Still does....

Its really weird how much you change every week after an event like this, I wonder how the hell I'll end up y'know? But I live on for/ through my father, and thats my priority now. It helps me stay out of the confusion.. if that makes any sense.

Thoughts Arrive, I am once again sorry for your situation, but you can only spend the time you have left with him and let him/ her go. Pets are family plain and simple, and nothing will change that, not even death. It takes a very strong and caring person to love a animal as one's own, and I am sure he/she does the same back in their own way. That will always be a memory shared, and will never go away. Keep your head up, and help him/her out the best you can. Take care man.

Thoughts_Arrive

Thanks dude.
Appreciate all your kind words, this forum is the best.