For Pet Lovers . . . :)

Fifthelement

I'm sure you've seen this before but, it bears repeating.



NOTICE:
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is... kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:


To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:


1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur-niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.


Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:


1. Eat less

2. Don't ask for money all the time

3 Are easier to train

4. Normally come when called

5. Never ask to drive the car

6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends

7. Don't smoke or drink

8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions

9. Don't want to wear your clothes

10. Don't need billions of dollars for college, and...

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. :shock:

Wobbie

I like it!

The bathroom thing? Our last dog couldn't have cared less....but our new one? She definitely thinks I need assistance in there.

JaneNY

I have not seen it before, and I liked it. I am sitting in my bed with 3 of my cats lying on my feet! (They are NOT curled in balls)

chiquimonkey

hahaha i love it! especially these two things:

To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

norm

Fifthelement wrote:

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

boy ain't that the truth!!!

Fifthelement

imalive wrote:

I like it!

The bathroom thing? Our last dog couldn't have cared less....but our new one? She definitely thinks I need assistance in there.

Our dog sits and whines and wants every door opened wide for her . . . except the bathroom door. That one she just puts her head down and charges.

decides2dream

i've never seen that before...very cute!


and this is awesome....and too true!

It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.