Already

JordyWordy

Alone with you in your small room
Making efforts to focus but my mind
Is wandering to the same scene with
Better settings, stuck firm, not letting
Go of the life that you have let go of
Already.

At one with myself in your small room
I’ve convinced myself I’ve come to terms
With this arrangement; I laugh it off to save face
Exposing my inability to swim as far from shore as you have
Already.

I develop the characteristics of an obsessed
Man for the short time that I’m a feotus in your
Palm hoping you’ll nurture me Needing you to do it
But you’ve decided you want rid of me
Already.

These characteristics expose an unseen side I
Didn’t feel before I didn’t enjoy I wouldn’t endure
His presence and neither can you and it reinforces
For you why you’ve stopped loving me
Already.

Before I stepped on the plane I’d imagined
All outcomes save this same scene with its remorseless
Reality beating the dreams of a happy ending out of my
Gut, kicking where it hurts. It hurts everywhere.
Reality comes in shades of gray and neither of us play the part
As cast but do with life that which we must - follow our
Instinct and make something of our time but I hope that further
Down the line you catch yourself staring back at us, I’m doing it
Already.