Vodka

Alf Alpha
Alf Alpha Posts: 52
edited November 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
I take a couple of shots of vodka every morning when I wake up. It really gets me going. That's how I get out of bed. "Aw, I don' wanna get outa beeeed!" so I say to myself "look, Alf, you get up and I'll feed you some vodka." So before I know it I'm up.

The problem is this. I figured out that I can just keep the bottle next to my bed so I don't have to get out of bed to get it anymore. So now it's really really hard to get out of bed.

Any suggestions?

I need a like an alarm clock that, after five or so minutes, drops an assortment of bowling balls down on top of the bed. That would sure as shit get me out of bed. LOL.

Seriously.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • pjfan31
    pjfan31 Posts: 7,335
    Drink lots of water so you have to get up to take a piss.... That will get you out of bed..... Unless of course you like yellow bed sheets...

    But dude, I think you need more help than what this forum could provide you with. Good luck!!!!
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  • illegal pants
    illegal pants Posts: 13,471
    where do you live

    we can wake you up
    wah
  • Alf Alpha
    Alf Alpha Posts: 52
    pjfan31 wrote:
    Drink lots of water so you have to get up to take a piss.... That will get you out of bed..... Unless of course you like yellow bed sheets...

    But dude, I think you need more help than what this forum could provide you with. Good luck!!!!

    My bed sheets are already yellow anyway but they came like that. But anyway I can hold piss in like a camel. And water doesn't set right with me anyway, makes my tummy feel weird.
  • Alf Alpha
    Alf Alpha Posts: 52
    illegal pants wrote:
    where do you live

    we can wake you up

    sure if you're not busy at 2:00
  • illegal pants
    illegal pants Posts: 13,471
    Alf Alpha wrote:
    sure if you're not busy at 2:00

    well i'll make an exception and postpone ironing 'til 3
    wah
  • eMMI
    eMMI Posts: 6,262
    Alf Alpha wrote:
    And water doesn't set right with me anyway, makes my tummy feel weird.

    :eek: maybe it's cause of all the Vodka you must have consumed?

    no offense, but how can water not agree with someone?

    maybe it's actually that water is quite alright for your tummy but it feels strange to you cause it doesn't have the same impact as Vodka? ;)

    I'm too hung up on the Vodka aspect here I reckon..


    what I do to wake up (I hate early mornings) is that I have the most annoying sound on my alarm (I use my phone for that) and it gets louder too. also, I usually "hide" it somewhere so that I have to get up to turn it off. then I immediately switch on a light so I feel too irritated to go to sleep anymore. :D
    "Don't be faint-hearted, I have a solution! We shall go and commandeer some small craft, then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place for our waterside supper with riparian entertainments."
  • Alf Alpha
    Alf Alpha Posts: 52
    eMMI wrote:
    :eek: maybe it's cause of all the Vodka you must have consumed?

    no offense, but how can water not agree with someone?

    maybe it's actually that water is quite alright for your tummy but it feels strange to you cause it doesn't have the same impact as Vodka? ;)

    I'm too hung up on the Vodka aspect here I reckon..


    what I do to wake up (I hate early mornings) is that I have the most annoying sound on my alarm (I use my phone for that) and it gets louder too. also, I usually "hide" it somewhere so that I have to get up to turn it off. then I immediately switch on a light so I feel too irritated to go to sleep anymore. :D

    hey now I don't make the rules, I just play the game.

    the only alarms my clock has is the william tell overture and danny boy and that song from Rocky and I particularly enjoy all three so no dice.
  • eMMI
    eMMI Posts: 6,262
    Alf Alpha wrote:
    hey now I don't make the rules, I just play the game.

    the only alarms my clock has is the william tell overture and danny boy and that song from Rocky and I particularly enjoy all three so no dice.

    well.. I guess you could always get a new alarm..? :o
    "Don't be faint-hearted, I have a solution! We shall go and commandeer some small craft, then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place for our waterside supper with riparian entertainments."
  • Alf Alpha
    Alf Alpha Posts: 52
    i guess i could but then i'd have to figure out all the damn buttons
  • The Champ
    The Champ Posts: 4,063
    I just did the same thing, except with whiskey..anyway, off to work..enjoy the day..
    'I want to hurry home to you
    put on a slow, dumb show for you
    and crack you up
    so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
    god I'm very, very frightening
    and I'll overdo it'
  • eMMI
    eMMI Posts: 6,262
    Alf Alpha wrote:
    i guess i could but then i'd have to figure out all the damn buttons

    what kind of space-age alarms do people sell around there?! :eek: jaysis!

    what buttons? what happened to the device being a clock, then you choose what time you wanna wake up and that's it? buttons? I've got two alarm clocks (don't use either though) and they've got two switchey thingies (one for setting the time, one for setting the time when you wanna wake up) and one button (press it at night so the alarm will sound in the morning, press it in the morning so make the thing shut up). quite clearly marked and all. :D
    "Don't be faint-hearted, I have a solution! We shall go and commandeer some small craft, then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place for our waterside supper with riparian entertainments."
  • Sian-of-the-dead
    Sian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    Am I the only person who thinks that 'a couple of shots of vodka' to start the day, the OP's stomach not being used to water and a bottle of vodka by their bed, isn't necessarily a good thing?! :confused:
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • eMMI
    eMMI Posts: 6,262
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    Am I the only person who thinks that 'a couple of shots of vodka' to start the day, the OP's stomach not being used to water and a bottle of vodka by their bed, isn't necessarily a good thing?! :confused:

    no, you're not. :o
    "Don't be faint-hearted, I have a solution! We shall go and commandeer some small craft, then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place for our waterside supper with riparian entertainments."
  • Alf Alpha
    Alf Alpha Posts: 52
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    Am I the only person who thinks that 'a couple of shots of vodka' to start the day, the OP's stomach not being used to water and a bottle of vodka by their bed, isn't necessarily a good thing?! :confused:

    It's okay dude I got my life basically where I want it. I've got a few stories that I think are pretty close to getting published. The thing is I just need a nudge out of the bed and the vodka doesn't do it anymore and my alarm clock is just so damn groovy. Ill just get a new alarm clock.
  • Sian-of-the-dead
    Sian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    Alf Alpha wrote:
    It's okay dude I got my life basically where I want it. I've got a few stories that I think are pretty close to getting published. The thing is I just need a nudge out of the bed and the vodka doesn't do it anymore and my alarm clock is just so damn groovy. Ill just get a new alarm clock.

    So get a new alarm clock and bin the vodka. If it's not working, you don't need the temptation or the hassle so close to something good like having stories published. :)

    For the record, I'm a dudette ;)
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    Alf Alpha wrote:
    I take a couple of shots of vodka every morning when I wake up. It really gets me going. That's how I get out of bed. "Aw, I don' wanna get outa beeeed!" so I say to myself "look, Alf, you get up and I'll feed you some vodka." So before I know it I'm up.

    The problem is this. I figured out that I can just keep the bottle next to my bed so I don't have to get out of bed to get it anymore. So now it's really really hard to get out of bed.

    Any suggestions?

    I need a like an alarm clock that, after five or so minutes, drops an assortment of bowling balls down on top of the bed. That would sure as shit get me out of bed. LOL.

    Seriously.

    Maybe you should drink a lot of glasses of water before you go to sleep so the need to pee will get you up? You can be like the native american warriors.

    :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • nuffingman
    nuffingman Posts: 3,014
    Alf Alpha wrote:
    It's okay dude I got my life basically where I want it. I've got a few stories that I think are pretty close to getting published. The thing is I just need a nudge out of the bed and the vodka doesn't do it anymore and my alarm clock is just so damn groovy. Ill just get a new alarm clock.
    I think 2 shots of vodka first thing in the morning is cause for concern.

    Take care..... and have coffee!!!!!!
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    Am I the only person who thinks that 'a couple of shots of vodka' to start the day, the OP's stomach not being used to water and a bottle of vodka by their bed, isn't necessarily a good thing?! :confused:
    I'm thinking we shouldn't take Alf too seriously :)
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • Sian-of-the-dead
    Sian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    I'm thinking we shouldn't take Alf too seriously :)

    why? :confused:
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • mca47
    mca47 Posts: 13,337
    Maybe you should start mixing Red Bull with your vodka. That'll get you moving!



    Shots to get out of bed...:eek: that's crazy to me, but whatever makes you happy I guess.

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