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Vodka

Alf AlphaAlf Alpha Posts: 52
edited November 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
I take a couple of shots of vodka every morning when I wake up. It really gets me going. That's how I get out of bed. "Aw, I don' wanna get outa beeeed!" so I say to myself "look, Alf, you get up and I'll feed you some vodka." So before I know it I'm up.

The problem is this. I figured out that I can just keep the bottle next to my bed so I don't have to get out of bed to get it anymore. So now it's really really hard to get out of bed.

Any suggestions?

I need a like an alarm clock that, after five or so minutes, drops an assortment of bowling balls down on top of the bed. That would sure as shit get me out of bed. LOL.

Seriously.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • pjfan31pjfan31 Posts: 7,335
    Drink lots of water so you have to get up to take a piss.... That will get you out of bed..... Unless of course you like yellow bed sheets...

    But dude, I think you need more help than what this forum could provide you with. Good luck!!!!
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  • illegal pantsillegal pants Posts: 13,471
    where do you live

    we can wake you up
    wah
  • Alf AlphaAlf Alpha Posts: 52
    pjfan31 wrote:
    Drink lots of water so you have to get up to take a piss.... That will get you out of bed..... Unless of course you like yellow bed sheets...

    But dude, I think you need more help than what this forum could provide you with. Good luck!!!!

    My bed sheets are already yellow anyway but they came like that. But anyway I can hold piss in like a camel. And water doesn't set right with me anyway, makes my tummy feel weird.
  • Alf AlphaAlf Alpha Posts: 52
    illegal pants wrote:
    where do you live

    we can wake you up

    sure if you're not busy at 2:00
  • illegal pantsillegal pants Posts: 13,471
    Alf Alpha wrote:
    sure if you're not busy at 2:00

    well i'll make an exception and postpone ironing 'til 3
    wah
  • eMMIeMMI Posts: 6,262
    Alf Alpha wrote:
    And water doesn't set right with me anyway, makes my tummy feel weird.

    :eek: maybe it's cause of all the Vodka you must have consumed?

    no offense, but how can water not agree with someone?

    maybe it's actually that water is quite alright for your tummy but it feels strange to you cause it doesn't have the same impact as Vodka? ;)

    I'm too hung up on the Vodka aspect here I reckon..


    what I do to wake up (I hate early mornings) is that I have the most annoying sound on my alarm (I use my phone for that) and it gets louder too. also, I usually "hide" it somewhere so that I have to get up to turn it off. then I immediately switch on a light so I feel too irritated to go to sleep anymore. :D
    "Don't be faint-hearted, I have a solution! We shall go and commandeer some small craft, then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place for our waterside supper with riparian entertainments."
  • Alf AlphaAlf Alpha Posts: 52
    eMMI wrote:
    :eek: maybe it's cause of all the Vodka you must have consumed?

    no offense, but how can water not agree with someone?

    maybe it's actually that water is quite alright for your tummy but it feels strange to you cause it doesn't have the same impact as Vodka? ;)

    I'm too hung up on the Vodka aspect here I reckon..


    what I do to wake up (I hate early mornings) is that I have the most annoying sound on my alarm (I use my phone for that) and it gets louder too. also, I usually "hide" it somewhere so that I have to get up to turn it off. then I immediately switch on a light so I feel too irritated to go to sleep anymore. :D

    hey now I don't make the rules, I just play the game.

    the only alarms my clock has is the william tell overture and danny boy and that song from Rocky and I particularly enjoy all three so no dice.
  • eMMIeMMI Posts: 6,262
    Alf Alpha wrote:
    hey now I don't make the rules, I just play the game.

    the only alarms my clock has is the william tell overture and danny boy and that song from Rocky and I particularly enjoy all three so no dice.

    well.. I guess you could always get a new alarm..? :o
    "Don't be faint-hearted, I have a solution! We shall go and commandeer some small craft, then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place for our waterside supper with riparian entertainments."
  • Alf AlphaAlf Alpha Posts: 52
    i guess i could but then i'd have to figure out all the damn buttons
  • The ChampThe Champ Posts: 4,063
    I just did the same thing, except with whiskey..anyway, off to work..enjoy the day..
    'I want to hurry home to you
    put on a slow, dumb show for you
    and crack you up
    so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
    god I'm very, very frightening
    and I'll overdo it'
  • eMMIeMMI Posts: 6,262
    Alf Alpha wrote:
    i guess i could but then i'd have to figure out all the damn buttons

    what kind of space-age alarms do people sell around there?! :eek: jaysis!

    what buttons? what happened to the device being a clock, then you choose what time you wanna wake up and that's it? buttons? I've got two alarm clocks (don't use either though) and they've got two switchey thingies (one for setting the time, one for setting the time when you wanna wake up) and one button (press it at night so the alarm will sound in the morning, press it in the morning so make the thing shut up). quite clearly marked and all. :D
    "Don't be faint-hearted, I have a solution! We shall go and commandeer some small craft, then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place for our waterside supper with riparian entertainments."
  • Sian-of-the-deadSian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    Am I the only person who thinks that 'a couple of shots of vodka' to start the day, the OP's stomach not being used to water and a bottle of vodka by their bed, isn't necessarily a good thing?! :confused:
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • eMMIeMMI Posts: 6,262
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    Am I the only person who thinks that 'a couple of shots of vodka' to start the day, the OP's stomach not being used to water and a bottle of vodka by their bed, isn't necessarily a good thing?! :confused:

    no, you're not. :o
    "Don't be faint-hearted, I have a solution! We shall go and commandeer some small craft, then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place for our waterside supper with riparian entertainments."
  • Alf AlphaAlf Alpha Posts: 52
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    Am I the only person who thinks that 'a couple of shots of vodka' to start the day, the OP's stomach not being used to water and a bottle of vodka by their bed, isn't necessarily a good thing?! :confused:

    It's okay dude I got my life basically where I want it. I've got a few stories that I think are pretty close to getting published. The thing is I just need a nudge out of the bed and the vodka doesn't do it anymore and my alarm clock is just so damn groovy. Ill just get a new alarm clock.
  • Sian-of-the-deadSian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    Alf Alpha wrote:
    It's okay dude I got my life basically where I want it. I've got a few stories that I think are pretty close to getting published. The thing is I just need a nudge out of the bed and the vodka doesn't do it anymore and my alarm clock is just so damn groovy. Ill just get a new alarm clock.

    So get a new alarm clock and bin the vodka. If it's not working, you don't need the temptation or the hassle so close to something good like having stories published. :)

    For the record, I'm a dudette ;)
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,412
    Alf Alpha wrote:
    I take a couple of shots of vodka every morning when I wake up. It really gets me going. That's how I get out of bed. "Aw, I don' wanna get outa beeeed!" so I say to myself "look, Alf, you get up and I'll feed you some vodka." So before I know it I'm up.

    The problem is this. I figured out that I can just keep the bottle next to my bed so I don't have to get out of bed to get it anymore. So now it's really really hard to get out of bed.

    Any suggestions?

    I need a like an alarm clock that, after five or so minutes, drops an assortment of bowling balls down on top of the bed. That would sure as shit get me out of bed. LOL.

    Seriously.

    Maybe you should drink a lot of glasses of water before you go to sleep so the need to pee will get you up? You can be like the native american warriors.

    :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • nuffingmannuffingman Posts: 3,014
    Alf Alpha wrote:
    It's okay dude I got my life basically where I want it. I've got a few stories that I think are pretty close to getting published. The thing is I just need a nudge out of the bed and the vodka doesn't do it anymore and my alarm clock is just so damn groovy. Ill just get a new alarm clock.
    I think 2 shots of vodka first thing in the morning is cause for concern.

    Take care..... and have coffee!!!!!!
  • Jeremy1012Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    Am I the only person who thinks that 'a couple of shots of vodka' to start the day, the OP's stomach not being used to water and a bottle of vodka by their bed, isn't necessarily a good thing?! :confused:
    I'm thinking we shouldn't take Alf too seriously :)
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • Sian-of-the-deadSian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    I'm thinking we shouldn't take Alf too seriously :)

    why? :confused:
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,300
    Maybe you should start mixing Red Bull with your vodka. That'll get you moving!



    Shots to get out of bed...:eek: that's crazy to me, but whatever makes you happy I guess.
  • pinot768pinot768 Posts: 295
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    Am I the only person who thinks that 'a couple of shots of vodka' to start the day, the OP's stomach not being used to water and a bottle of vodka by their bed, isn't necessarily a good thing?! :confused:
    No, Sian, I am right there with you...
    "I was born, and I know that I'll die...the in-between is mine."
  • PJ_SalukiPJ_Saluki Posts: 1,006
    Hey, you've got to drink vodka. It goes bad once the bottle is opened.
    "Almost all those politicians took money from Enron, and there they are holding hearings. That's like O.J. Simpson getting in the Rae Carruth jury pool." -- Charles Barkley
  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,300
    Back to the water thing real quick.

    You said you don't like water, but what water are you drinking? You don't even like bottled water?
    I know some people who don't "like" water because they've grown up drinking shitty tap water. I looooove water, but if all I had was tap, I'd probably not drink very much of it either.

    Oh man, I drink like a gallon of water every day.
  • CollinCollin Posts: 4,931
    Well if your vodka is next to the bed, maybe you should sleep next to the freezer?
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


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  • dustdust Posts: 133
    Pour it on your cornflakes.....
  • Jeremy1012Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    Sian-of-the-dead wrote:
    why? :confused:
    Because every post I've read from him is insane.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • Rhinocerous SurpriseRhinocerous Surprise Posts: 4,423
    See, if the vodka is there right beside your bed, surely the question we should be asking is this: Why get out of bed at all?
    Smokey Robinson constantly looks like he's trying to act natural after being accused of farting.
  • The ChampThe Champ Posts: 4,063
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    I'm thinking we shouldn't take Alf too seriously :)

    You mean some people actually do?
    'I want to hurry home to you
    put on a slow, dumb show for you
    and crack you up
    so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
    god I'm very, very frightening
    and I'll overdo it'
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,412
    The Champ wrote:
    You mean some people actually do?

    :D
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • rival.rival. Chicago Posts: 7,775
    vodka + cinnamon life = a winning formula
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