Am i being an arsehole.

Worldwidesuicide08Worldwidesuicide08 Posts: 79
edited March 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
I met my girlfriend a year ago in work,she was just at the end of a divorce when we met,her husband used to be violent with her apparently.
After about 9 months into the relationship see started being funny with me,not answering my calls,not turning up when we arranged to meet that sort of thing.
Then in january she tells me she is 7 weeks pregnant and shes keeping it because she doesnt believe in abortions,and i was pleased cos i love this girl more than anything.
Then two weeks later she phones me saying shes changed her mind and wants an abortion afterall,which i was upset about but its her body,her life.
So we split up over it,i didnt want to it was her choice.
One week after the abortion im walking home from work about 11pm,i live really close to this girl so i walk past her house and there she is smoking a cig out the window with her ex husband,she see`s me and carnt get the window closed fast enough.
Then one of my friends told me he saw her with her ex husband in a cafe in town(alarm bells),and when were together she gets txt and phone calls which she leaves the room to take,then looks all guilty afterwards,so i asked her about it and she denide all.

So now i dont even want to look at this girl,let alone speak to her and she comes up to me in work being all nice as if nothings happened,touching my hand,rubbing my shoulder,i asked her to leave me alone and she goes off looking upset,then ive got everyone in work giving me evil looks like ive been a c**t to her,non of them no whats really gone on,now im getting called in the office by the boss who tells me to sort it out.WTF.
Am i within my rights to be upset with this girl or am i just being an arsehole?
Cant touch the bottom...


London 96.
Manchester 00.
London 07.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • I never feel bad about scraping shit from my shoe...

    but I digress..
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • 3inputchick3inputchick Posts: 845
    She sounds like a mess. I'm sure it was his baby, not yours.
    Go find a rusty sign, they are always so much more interesting.

    Most women are not like that, good luck in finding someone who is alot nicer and happier!
    A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are.
  • She sounds like a mess. I'm sure it was his baby, not yours.
    Go find a rusty sign, they are always so much more interesting.

    Most women are not like that, good luck in finding someone who is alot nicer and happier!
    i spent my life with this girl up until she told me she was pregnant so i no the baby was mine,if it wasnt i no she wouldnt of told me.
    Cant touch the bottom...


    London 96.
    Manchester 00.
    London 07.
  • WildsWilds Posts: 4,329
    You are in the right with the girl. With work however you need to sort it out because they don't need your issues affecting the work place.

    I would have a talk with her saying you don't want a relationship. Let's be cordial and civil at work and leave it at that.

    Good luck and I would stay away. Far too many issues you can see, let alone the ones that you don't see.

    Far too messy to make it worth it.
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    you are not being a asshole, the girl sounds fucked up.

    move on.
    Peace, Love.


    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • Wilds wrote:
    You are in the right with the girl. With work however you need to sort it out because they don't need your issues affecting the work place.

    I would have a talk with her saying you don't want a relationship. Let's be cordial and civil at work and leave it at that.

    Good luck and I would stay away. Far too many issues you can see, let alone the ones that you don't see.

    Far too messy to make it worth it.
    Its not that i want a relationship with her,now that i no what shes capable of. I had a talk with her last week and she just doesnt get why im upset,and telling her to never speak to me again just seemed to make the situation worse,aspecialy in work.
    Sorry it was more of a vent.
    Cant touch the bottom...


    London 96.
    Manchester 00.
    London 07.
  • you two work together?

    that makes it a little more difficult. mainly cause she can say anything, and they would choose to believe her. and if you say"no she isnt that type of person" well anyone can be that type of person.

    and if someone wants to cheat they can. i dated a girl in high school. we had all our classes together. we studied together. we were always together. so imagine my surprise when she was preggers with the ex's kid. and no doubt it was his cause of we had been dating 6 months. just had sex two weeks prior. oh but she was a month pregnant.

    not saying it wasnt yours. just saying its a possibility. and seeing her with the ex is the clincher.

    as for the work scenario i would make sure you dont say anything out loud like "i hate her" "that bitch" "i wish she would go away" "i wish she was dead" and i dont mean you cant say them angry.. i mean you cant even saying it joking. she can always play the, "i dont know whats wrong" card and if people dont know whats going on then they should believe her and think you're an asshole.
    if people ask you and you dont want to tell them everything, just tell them that you loved her, or she hurt you, or i just need some time alone. do your work. do it well.
    mean people suck!
    but nice people sw****w

  • you two work together?

    that makes it a little more difficult. mainly cause she can say anything, and they would choose to believe her. and if you say"no she isnt that type of person" well anyone can be that type of person.

    and if someone wants to cheat they can. i dated a girl in high school. we had all our classes together. we studied together. we were always together. so imagine my surprise when she was preggers with the ex's kid. and no doubt it was his cause of we had been dating 6 months. just had sex two weeks prior. oh but she was a month pregnant.

    not saying it wasnt yours. just saying its a possibility. and seeing her with the ex is the clincher.

    as for the work scenario i would make sure you dont say anything out loud like "i hate her" "that bitch" "i wish she would go away" "i wish she was dead" and i dont mean you cant say them angry.. i mean you cant even saying it joking. she can always play the, "i dont know whats wrong" card and if people dont know whats going on then they should believe her and think you're an asshole.
    if people ask you and you dont want to tell them everything, just tell them that you loved her, or she hurt you, or i just need some time alone. do your work. do it well.
    Everything that happened with her ex happened after we split apart from the phone calls,txt etc,Im not even pissed about that,im pissed with looking like the bad guy to everyone when ive done nothing wrong,and i suppose i feel abit patrinised with her lets be friends aproach.
    Cant touch the bottom...


    London 96.
    Manchester 00.
    London 07.
  • well, just tell her and whoever else. i was hurt. i need time. space. whatever.

    they are cliche's and overused but people really cant say anything against them. thats assuming you dont actually want to share with anyone what happened. if you want to share what happened you can but it will prolly run you into drama and trouble if you both work together. it stupid when things end the way the did and the girl says "lets be friends" i have seen people be friends after a relationship before but it was when both people realised,"y'know we just arent good together" and they split amicably. but when it just one persons decision and things end badly then , both people should just walk away.. more than likely she just wants all the sympathy from people and she gets that by telling them , "i told him i still want to be friends , but he is just so mean to me, boo hooo "

    2nd option. date her sister. (then tell her the sister was better)
    3rd. date her mother(tell her the mother was better. and that as her new dad, she is grounded.)
    mean people suck!
    but nice people sw****w

  • well, just tell her and whoever else. i was hurt. i need time. space. whatever.

    they are cliche's and overused but people really cant say anything against them. thats assuming you dont actually want to share with anyone what happened. if you want to share what happened you can but it will prolly run you into drama and trouble if you both work together. it stupid when things end the way the did and the girl says "lets be friends" i have seen people be friends after a relationship before but it was when both people realised,"y'know we just arent good together" and they split amicably. but when it just one persons decision and things end badly then , both people should just walk away.. more than likely she just wants all the sympathy from people and she gets that by telling them , "i told him i still want to be friends , but he is just so mean to me, boo hooo "

    2nd option. date her sister. (then tell her the sister was better)
    3rd. date her mother(tell her the mother was better. and that as her new dad, she is grounded.)
    Thats it,i just want to walk away,i dont need friends like that.
    Thanks atleast someone understands were im coming from.
    Cant touch the bottom...


    London 96.
    Manchester 00.
    London 07.
  • JaneNYJaneNY Posts: 4,438
    I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to have anything to do with her at this point - she kind of jerked you around. She can't have it both ways. If you're not in a career type of job, you might want to think about moving to a new job.
    R.i.p. Rigoberto Alpizar.
    R.i.p. My Dad - May 28, 2007
    R.i.p. Black Tail (cat) - Sept. 20, 2008
  • WhizbangWhizbang Posts: 1,314
    Honestly, you don't owe anyone at work an explanation...even your boss. You can tell your boss that the two of you had a relationship that ended and that during work hours, you are willing and will "play nice in the sandbox" but unless it is work related, you won't be socializing with her, etc. That will at least let your boss know that you're willing to act like a professional and get your work done. As for other people in the office - tell them there are three sides to the story: mine, hers and the truth. This is not to say you're not telling us the truth but the both of you have your own view on every thing that happened...somewhere in the middle, where there is no emotion involved, is the truth.

    I wish you luck with it. Keep your distance from her. Keep your personal opinion of her to yourself, keep any conversation with her at work as work related and if she constantly touches you at work, trying to be friendly, advise her that it makes you uncomfortable for her to be in your personal space like that and you'd prefer it if she kept her conversations with you on a work related basis.
    believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.

    I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29

    Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
Sign In or Register to comment.