Best Man Speech
Lee_Jam
Posts: 71
So In November of this year I have the scary task of beoing my brothers best man. I plan to throw in some witty one liners, a few old stories from days gone by and a sentimental word or to....well, thats the plan anyway...
any advice/ideas?
any advice/ideas?
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How to be happy and true is the quest we're taking on together.
Take it on, on, on, on, on.
Take it on, on, on, on, on.
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How to be happy and true is the quest we're taking on together.
Take it on, on, on, on, on.
Take it on, on, on, on, on.
********************************
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Prepare well. Start with a joke to ease the room. Speak slowly - people always rush way too much. Whatever rate your are conversing at - the others will find it 30-50% quicker so pause every now and then.
Make eye contact, look around the room and do the littles things you are supposed to - such as thanking the brides father on behalf of the bridesmaids etc.
And enjoy it - You are doing something special for your brother - embrace it and you will remember it. Public speaking aint as bad as people make out.
Good luck
I gave this one in 2003. I remember it almost verbatum. I'm sure there's a few things that I've forgotten. Let's just say the groom's name is Bob.
"Hello, my name is Sponger.
First off, I just want to thank everyone for letting me speak on behalf of Bob, and for coming out here to bear witness to this momentous occasion.
Unfortunately, I was not around when these two first met. I was away in Northern California at the time. But, when they picked me up at the airport when I returned, Bob said to me, "Sponger, I think she is the one for me."
As you might have guessed after listening to the exchange of vows, Bob is a searcher. I've known him for years. *I point to a group of guys standing by the bar* Those guys have also known him for just as long, if not longer.
Bob is a person of long-term relationships. Maybe it's his strong sense of family values, or maybe he's just a down-to-earth guy, but he's in it for the long haul because that's the kind of person he is.
And I just want to say that I speak on behalf of "the guys" as well as myself when I say that we are honored and elated to see this act of love taking place here today.
Thank you."
*Audience applauds out of politeness after hearing the corniest speech of their lives*
There was a lot of people there that day. The groom and the bride both have family all over the country who flew in. I knew about maybe 5% of the people in the room at the most.
But, I didn't let that get to me. I just focused on my duty as the person who needed to get up there and do a job.
Think of it as an opportunity to say some things that really reflect your opinion on their union.
Also....when I said, "..maybe it's his strong sense of family values," I made a fist with my right hand. I had always wanted to do that during a speech the way that Adolf Hitler used to. I don't admire Adolf Hitler's message of hatred, but I do appreciate his skills as an orator.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
In a very sentimental voice ask the bride to put her hand on top of table (they will be sitting at a head table).
Then ask your brother to put his hand on hers.
(People will think this is a nice moment)
Then say: "Enjoy this moment brother, it's the last time you will ever have the upper hand".
Sounds perfect!
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
haha, MrMerkinball this made me laugh. I have a best-man speech to give in October for my brother and I may think of incorporating this into it to end.
2003 ~ Toronto
2005 ~ London, Toronto
2006 ~ Toronto
2008 ~ Hartford, Mansfied I,
2009 ~ Toronto, Chicago I, Chicago II
2010 ~ Cleveland, Buffalo
2011 ~ Toronto I, Toronto II, Ottawa, Hamilton
2013 - London, Pittsburgh, Buffalo
I went up there with a small outline - a few jokes & a few funny stories. Be prepared.
It's a wedding - everyone will be in a good mood.
Dont go too long (stay under 10 minutes) & don't talk too fast.
Good luck!
Think of about 10 stories (humorous facts) about the groom. Narrow them down to about 5. Think of how you can tie the wife into these stories, so it appears she set him straight. Compliment the couple cheesyily...
end with a good toast...
1. Be prepared. My brother-in-law's best man wasn't and his speech was an incoherent mess. Unfortunately, its the one thing from his wedding that everyone remembers.
2. Any jokes/stories at your brother's expense should be based on something small - see Wedding Crashers. Been to few receptions, where similar to movie, the speech was a little too personal or inappropriate...everyone uncomfortable.
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
did your wife do that to you? :eek:
kinakamot ang aking puwit...
me rascando pompis...
krap mijn reet...
boku no ketsuoana o kizu...
bahrosh teezy...
I said something to the effect that everything finally started to seem 'real' about this event taking place the day before. My brother was actually getting married. It hit me when my cousin and I were at the store buying cards. There I was looking through all the wedding cards for the appropriate one when I noticed that I did not see my cousin. So I yelled out "Chris, where are you?" and he said "over here in the sympathy section picking out my card!".
That got the room cracking up. It was made up spur of the moment, but I just felt I wanted to ease into the speech, so I decided to go with it.
That's a damned good bit. I might rip that off if I'm ever a best man again.
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
routine was the theme..
there aint gonna be any middle any more
Haha-Wedding Singer.
in my opening, i made fun of the groom's dad for finally stepping away from the black jack table long enough to see his son get married. that went over well.
and when i was talking about how the groom and i work together, one of our other friends started booing (playfully) because he got fired 2 years prior....so i proceeded to tell the entire audience that he's only booing because he got fired from there 2 years ago....zing. that one went over well too.
all in all, my advice is to be yourself and have a lot of fun with it.
OPENING-
I’d like to start out by thanking Mike and Beth on behalf of the bridesmaids and the groomsmen for such a wonderful ceremony today. And also thank them for giving us all an excuse to come to Vegas! I think we’ve all had a great time over the last few days and tonight should be no exception. It’s great to see everyone all dressed up today. Everyone looks great. And on behalf of the groomsmen, we would like to thank Mike for not selecting an all tan tuxedo—because Mike has such a keen fashion sense.
JOKE-
Well I am not very accustomed to best man speeches. I haven’t even been to a wedding since I was 18. And to be honest, I was so drunk I hardly even remember hearing the best man speech. But I’ve done some research. And I’ve found it’s customary for the best man to give the groom the most uncomfortable five minutes of his life…And apparently the most uncomfortable 5 minutes of Beth’s life will take place later on this evening. So I thought that was kind of interesting….zing
BACKGROUND-
But seriously folks…I’ve known Mike since 1996—that’s nine whole years. Along with Toodles and Fitz and a host of others who couldn’t be here this weekend attended Bloomsburg University (the only “town” in Pennsylvania). Those were the good old days. We had some really good times back then. I will spare you the details—mainly because none of us can remember most of them. But we all managed to graduate. Mike and I graduated at the same time. It took us almost 5 years to do so, but anyway…And I think it is really great that we’ve all been able to maintain our friendships after graduation. I don’t know how common that is. But I do feel fortunate to have done so. And now, I have the distinct pleasure of working with Mike at Wilmington Finance (if anyone needs a loan, I have plenty of business cards). So we’ve got plenty of time to argue about sports and politics and music and all sorts of other stuff that Beth and Kristen (my lovely girlfriend) enjoy rolling their eyes over. But Mike really is a great guy and a great friend. And he’s got a lot of heart. No matter how many times he loses our sports arguments, he always comes back for more—the Phillies will win at least 85 games this year by the way!
BETH-
So Mike started dating this girl named Beth a couple years back. When I first met her, I thought “Wow! This is a nice girl and a cool person to hang out with.” Little did I know how smitten Mike was about her. Over the last couple years it has truly been a pleasure to get to know her. And Beth, you’ve really done a hell of a job in straightening this guy out. Because he was an absolute mess before he met Beth---just kidding!
MIKE/BETH-
Kristen and I have really had some good times with Mike and Beth. Whether it be dinner at Champps or that hibachi place, or out somewhere for drinks, or over my house for drinks, or over their house for drinks, we’ve really had a lot of fun and hope to continue doing so in the future. So we’re all looking forward to hanging out with “The Mattia’s”
JOKE TOAST-
Anyway, as we all know, there are a couple people in this room who, without whom, none of us would be here tonight. And I think over the course of the evening we will all enjoy getting to know them even more, having a few cocktails, and sharing some laughs. So if everyone will raise their glasses….a toast…to the finest bartending staff I’ve seen in quite a while! You’re doing a hell of a job over there boys! I need another one when you get the chance! Thanks….
REAL TOAST-
But seriously, this is not a toast to the bartending staff. This is a toast to the bride and the groom. Mr. And Mrs. Mike Mattia. Beth and Mike. A wonderful ceremony today is the ultimate way for you two to begin your lives together. Good luck to both of you. And here is to wishing you nothing but the best….AH SALUTE!
Thanks to everyone for their advice, feeling confident now!
How to be happy and true is the quest we're taking on together.
Take it on, on, on, on, on.
Take it on, on, on, on, on.
********************************
good luck dude! you'll be fine. theres also lots of websites devoted to helping you craft best man speeches.
One of my friends did a speech to his twin brother and used the following joke that nearly had everyone dying of laughter. It's yours if you'd like
(Insert name) always wanted to play sports in school. One of his favourites was baseball. The teacher tried him as pitcher, then she tried him at first base and then eventually in the field but he was never good at any position, in fact, he was terrible. Let's hope (insert name) is better in whatever (insert bride's name) puts him in tonight!
Leaving is for the answering machine.
"I still masturbate to <Brides Name>. What? She's hot - check out those boobs. I just wanna lather 'em up with soap and rub my face in 'em. I could take a vacation in there."
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
ha! what is that from?
Haha, meet the Fockers I think, about his wife's mother? Lol.
I rarely ever get nervous, but the more I think about getting up in front of 150 people the more it kind of freaks me out! :eek:
How'd it go?
I started my speech this weekend with this and it got a good response from the crowd:
I really should grasp this once in-a-lifetime opportunity to reveal to you all of Steve’s misadventures. Unfortunately, I have played a large part in most of these incriminating events and I really don’t want to tarnish my impeccable reputation. So instead, I’ll keep it short by talking about Steve’s achievements.