What are your thoughts on...

MattCameronKicksButt

Social networking and having pen pals over the web? I've given out my number a couple of times and my address to one other person. I can honestly say that I trust the people I've talked to over the web. Okay, I know I'm not 14 anymore and I'm big enough to make my own decisions so I guess it's a bit different but I'm still a small woman who doesn't really know who she's talking to. My argument is though, isnt it the same in real life? You could be talking to someone on a bus that sounds equally as nice, build up a friendship and then, whatever. :(
I was just listening to a discussion about it on the TV. So anyway, that topic on the show finished, they cut to a commercial break and the first advert they showed was about child abuse! Children being abused by family members and such.

I can't work out if I'm being naive or if it's a generation thing and just a common misconcept that the internet is really more dangerous than the real world. Speaking of a generation thing, I was talking to my mum about some of the CD's and DVD's that people had sent me the other day and the only thing she wanted to know was if I had a webcam. I just said, no, why would I want a webcam?

Are you worried about your kids (quite possibly) talking to people over the web either now or when they get older?

harmless_little_f***

I agree with everything you've said.

It's defintely a generational thing; the idea that social networking through the internet is necessarily worse than any other type is ridiculous, and mostly propogated by people for whom outward appearances are what matters. But internet social networking is a 'new' way of doing things - which doesn't make it better than the old, just, well, newer. Neither is the old, traditional way better or worse.

The idea that you can meet someone in a bar/bus/whatever, engage in pointless, boring small talk just because you initially found them good looking is kind of repulsive to me. Why waste a week or two of dates to find out if someone's boring/interesting/psycho, when you can do it in the same number of hours with someone on the internet?

Incidentally, looking back, I don't think I've ever been with a girl I didn't meet on the internet. Yeah it's landed me in the shit a few times, but everyone meets the wrong one a few times before they meet the right one (here's looking at you Sarah ), don't they, even in person.

mole1985

It's a bit risky but then so is going on a date with someone who you don't know. Plenty of people have met their love of their lives through tinternet personally i don't think it's for me but loads of people have been successful with it (love and friends) I think this board is an example of how it can be successful.

MattCameronKicksButt

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

I agree with everything you've said.

It's defintely a generational thing; the idea that social networking through the internet is necessarily worse than any other type is ridiculous, and mostly propogated by people for whom outward appearances are what matters.

The idea that you can meet someone in a bar/bus/whatever, engage in pointless, boring small talk just because you initially found them good looking is kind of repulsive to me. Why waste a week or two of dates to find out if someone's boring/interesting/psycho, when you can do it in the same number of hours with someone on the internet?

Incidentally, looking back, I don't think I've ever been with a girl I didn't meet on the internet. Yeah it's landed me in the shit a few times, but everyone meets the wrong one a few times before they meet the right one (here's looking at you Sarah ), don't they, even in person.

I wasn't just talking about romantic relationships but yeah, I never actually thought about some of you on here that have met your partners/husbands/wives on here too.

MattCameronKicksButt

mole1985 wrote:

It's a bit risky but then so is going on a date with someone who you don't know. Plenty of people have met their love of their lives through tinternet personally i don't think it's for me but loads of people have been successful with it (love and friends) I think this board is an example of how it can be successful.

Did you mean to write 'tinternet'? If so, that's a good one.

harmless_little_f***

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

I wasn't just talking about romantic relationships but yeah, I never actually thought about some of you on here that have met your partners/husbands/wives on here too.

I didn't mean to just refer to romantic relationships either, I also have many friendships online - mostly on here. However romantic relationships are the easiest example to use for argument's sake as they are an extreme.

mole1985

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

Did you mean to write 'tinternet'? If so, that's a good one.

Ha yeah i did

jamie uk

mole1985 wrote:

Ha yeah i did

Peter Kay called, he wants his joke back

reeferchief

jamie uk wrote:

Peter Kay called, he wants his joke back

I was excpecting the whole "Chris Cornell called American Idol" thread to be along those lines.
To say I was dissapointed would be an understatement.

jamie uk

reeferchief wrote:

I was excpecting the whole "Chris Cornell called American Idol" thread to be along those lines.
To say I was dissapointed would be an understatement.

What would he have said ?

surfanddestroy

jamie uk wrote:

Peter Kay called, he wants his joke back

It's not Peter Kays joke, its more of a Lancashire thing, we all call it that.

reeferchief

jamie uk wrote:

What would he have said ?

I'm not gonna go there for fear of the retribution which may follow.;)

meme

I am terrified about my son "hanging out in the internet".

I have taken risks, which never really felt like risks because I think I am a very, very good judge of character. My "life on the internet" however started when I was 22. He is so damn young. I realize, however, that restrictions won't work much and what I really have to do is to raise a confident and judicious young man. He is seven now, and I am trying to put these issues off as long as I can

jamie uk

reeferchief wrote:

I'm not gonna go there for fear of the retribution which may follow.;)

Ha, fair play. I like Cornell, but I could go with a few jokes, no harm done.

harmless_little_f***

meme wrote:

I am terrified about my son "hanging out in the internet".

I have taken risks, which never really felt like risks because I think I am a very, very good judge of character. My "life on the internet" however started when I was 22. He is so damn young. I realize, however, that restrictions won't work much and what I really have to do is to raise a confident and judicious young man. He is seven now, and I am trying to put these issues off as long as I can

I understand your concerns, but your son is just as in danger in a bar, a club, in the street... you name it.

jamie uk

Anyway, thread integrity...
I'm sure this is brought on by that story in the news paper today "I met 300 men on Facebook, and slept with 50 of them in 3 months"
It's tabloid fodder, they crucify Facebook...or whatever it happens to be, yet the fact is she's a......well, you know. She'd have just met these fellas down the pub and done the same thing prolly.

meme

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

I understand your concerns, but your son is just as in danger in a bar, a club, in the street... you name it.

Yo... he's seven

harmless_little_f***

meme wrote:

Yo... he's seven

OK, replace bar with school or disco; replace club with dvd or CD store; and replace the street with the park or, well, the street.....

meme

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

OK, replace bar with school or disco; replace club with dvd or CD store; and replace the street with park or, well, the street.....

Point is... no. He is safer in school than on the internet. He does not go to the CD store or on the street by himself. I know kids his age who have a computer in their room and surf the net, and I am glad he does not.

catefrances

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

Are you worried about your kids (quite possibly) talking to people over the web either now or when they get older?

no im not worried. besides theres not much i can say to dissuade them without being a hypocrite, cause i have met people ive conversed with on the net and as of yet not one of them has turned out to be a pervert or a serial killer. people just have to use their judgement. stuff happens and that's life. you deal with it and move on.

meme wrote:

Point is... no. He is safer in school than on the internet. He does not go to the CD store or on the street by himself. I know kids his age who have a computer in their room and surf the net, and I am glad he does not.

oh i hear you... my two youngest are not allowed to use the internet for 'networking'.

markymark550

There are risks and dangers inherent in just about anything if you think about it. I could meet a psycho just about anywhere...at work, in a bar, online. I do think that since the internet offers more anonymity and the ability to hide part of your personality that you do need to be careful of who you want to meet in real life. I would say that people that associate because of a common theme (in our case, PJ) that you're less likely to find those truly psychotic/predator types than if you are in random chat room x.

With kids, I'm not sure exactly how I would handle it because I don't have any kids (yet). I think that when you go through the whole "don't talk to strangers" and "don't trust people that you don't know" experiences that you need/should incorporate the Internet as part of that. I would definitely use the site blockers for places that I know aren't appropriate.

just my $0.02

MattCameronKicksButt

markymark550 wrote:

I do think that since the internet offers more anonymity and the ability to hide part of your personality that you do need to be careful of who you want to meet in real life.

(Sorry to pick your post apart here). I was just thinking that anyone could hide part of their personality at anytime any place anyway so it doesn't make much difference.

markymark550 wrote:

With kids, I'm not sure exactly how I would handle it because I don't have any kids (yet). I think that when you go through the whole "don't talk to strangers" and "don't trust people that you don't know" experiences that you need/should incorporate the Internet as part of that. I would definitely use the site blockers for places that I know aren't appropriate.

just my $0.02

Unfortunately, the more I think about my son, the more I'm starting to worry a little about it. My initial thought was 'well, when he's seven and starts using the internet, it's not like he can be encouraged to hop on a bus and go see some stranger he could be writing to' and then I thought 'My God! The stranger could find out what school he goes to and meet him there'! I've only ever thought about my own protection on the net but not thought far enough head for my son yet. (That's why I sound so shocked).

I'm still not freaking out about it as much as some people do though.

meme

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

I'm still not freaking out about it as much as some people do though.

Well, freaking out is not that helpful anyway

I laugh when I hear self-righteous parents proudly proclaiming that they have myspace accounts so they can police their children. Surely the kids can't figure out a way to set up another account unbeknownst to their policing parents :rolleyes:. I do think it boils down to keeping an open relationship, raise your kids right etc. But yeah, I'm happy he's focused on sports right now

xavier mcdaniel

isn't this board some kind of social networking?

harmless_little_f***

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

(Sorry to pick your post apart here). I was just thinking that anyone could hide part of their personality at anytime any place anyway so it doesn't make much difference.

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

Unfortunately, the more I think about my son, the more I'm starting to worry a little about it. My initial thought was 'well, when he's seven and starts using the internet, it's not like he can be encouraged to hop on a bus and go see some stranger he could be writing to' and then I thought 'My God! The stranger could find out what school he goes to and meet him there'! I've only ever thought about my own protection on the net but not thought far enough head for my son yet. (That's why I sound so shocked).

I'm still not freaking out about it as much as some people do though.

I think what you said in the first part can be applied to the second part as well. Anyone who is anyone could find out where anyone lives/goes to school, anything, unfortunately.. the only reason we hear scare stories about the internet involving children and weirdos is because we're so interested in new technology. It makes a good story for us to sink our tabloid-obsessed teeth into. Old fashioned abductions, etc., just don't often sell newspapers, unless they're national news and big money goes behind rescue campaigns. There are weirdos interested in people in 'real life' too, and we probably meet them all the time. Even if I met a weirdo in a supermarket they could just as easily go into Google and find out who I am.

MattCameronKicksButt

meme wrote:

Well, freaking out is not that helpful anyway

I laugh when I hear self-righteous parents proudly proclaiming that they have myspace accounts so they can police their children. Surely the kids can't figure out a way to set up another account unbeknownst to their policing parents :rolleyes:. I do think it boils down to keeping an open relationship, raise your kids right etc. But yeah, I'm happy he's focused on sports right now

I guess it depends how old and mature they are. I wasn't really thinking of any person or circumstance specifically at the time. It's just everyone I know (with the exception of my best friend) don't use facebook or a forum of any sort and automatically think there's something dodgy about it. (I mean everyone that uses these sites, not just me).

meme

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

I guess it depends how old and mature they are. I wasn't really thinking of any person or circumstance specifically at the time. It's just everyone I know (with the exception of my best friend) don't use facebook or a forum of any sort and automatically think there's something dodgy about it. (I mean everyone that uses these sites, not just me).

Oh yeah, I'm married to a guy like that

MattCameronKicksButt

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

I think what you said in the first part can be applied to the second part as well. Anyone who is anyone could find out where anyone lives/goes to school, anything, unfortunately.. the only reason we hear scare stories about the internet involving children and weirdos is because we're so interested in new technology. It makes a good story for us to sink our tabloid-obsessed teeth into. Old fashioned abductions, etc., just don't often sell newspapers, unless they're national news and big money goes behind rescue campaigns. There are weirdos interested in people in 'real life' too, and we probably meet them all the time. Even if I met a weirdo in a supermarket they could just as easily go into Google and find out who I am.

Yeah, I agree but your opinion might be a little biased though, Mark?

markymark550

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

(Sorry to pick your post apart here). I was just thinking that anyone could hide part of their personality at anytime any place anyway so it doesn't make much difference.



Unfortunately, the more I think about my son, the more I'm starting to worry a little about it. My initial thought was 'well, when he's seven and starts using the internet, it's not like he can be encouraged to hop on a bus and go see some stranger he could be writing to' and then I thought 'My God! The stranger could find out what school he goes to and meet him there'! I've only ever thought about my own protection on the net but not thought far enough head for my son yet. (That's why I sound so shocked).

I'm still not freaking out about it as much as some people do though.

True. It is easy hide part of your personality in person. However, because a conversation online is a username, text, and maybe some smileys, it's way easier to conceal things. In person, if you pay close enough attention, you can learn a lot about someone just by looking at their eyes, listening to the tone of their voice, looking for/at nervous habits -- all of which you can't get online.

For kids, it's like I said before, I haven't really had to cross that bridge yet, so I have no idea how it will be if I ever get there. I do think that meme (and others) are correct when they say it's all about how you raise your child.

thunderDAN

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

Social networking and having pen pals over the web? I've given out my number a couple of times and my address to one other person. I can honestly say that I trust the people I've talked to over the web. Okay, I know I'm not 14 anymore and I'm big enough to make my own decisions so I guess it's a bit different but I'm still a small woman who doesn't really know who she's talking to. My argument is though, isnt it the same in real life? You could be talking to someone on a bus that sounds equally as nice, build up a friendship and then, whatever. :(
I was just listening to a discussion about it on the TV. So anyway, that topic on the show finished, they cut to a commercial break and the first advert they showed was about child abuse! Children being abused by family members and such.

I can't work out if I'm being naive or if it's a generation thing and just a common misconcept that the internet is really more dangerous than the real world. Speaking of a generation thing, I was talking to my mum about some of the CD's and DVD's that people had sent me the other day and the only thing she wanted to know was if I had a webcam. I just said, no, why would I want a webcam?

Are you worried about your kids (quite possibly) talking to people over the web either now or when they get older?

I've had people from this board call me before, that is about as far as I've gone. For some reason though I trust this board to have decent people on it so I had no problem giving my number out. I'm not really into webcamming and stuff like that, but posting on here is about the most networking I do.

MattCameronKicksButt

meme wrote:

Oh yeah, I'm married to a guy like that

I hope you have a place where you can quickly hide that camera then.