My half brothers/sisters

MattCameronKicksButt

I have a couple of sisters that are out of the picture and one brother but I don't see them as true family. :( Sometimes it hits me and makes me feel really bad that I don't feel closer to (him/sisters are out of the picture).
Without boring everyone, I talk to my dad on the phone but that's it. We're not a tight knit family from that side. I just wonder if I should be doing more for my younger (brother?) And if just one parent having another child should be enough to call them family?

jamie uk

family is tough, you can't manufacture a bond...it's there or it aint.
You can choose your friends, but not your family....but choose carefully.

libragirl

I know how that is, I have 1st cousins that I don't even know because my mom stopped talking to my uncle (her bro) years ago. It is sad, but I learned to accept it. I also have a grandfather who really never wanted anything to do with me and my sister. You can't change people, I have come to learn that.

An Animal

It boggles my mind how families can be like that to eachother. I don't think there is anything on this earth my sister could say or do to make me not love her anymore.

urbanhippie

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

I have a couple of sisters that are out of the picture and one brother but I don't see them as true family. :( Sometimes it hits me and makes me feel really bad that I don't feel closer to (him/sisters are out of the picture).
Without boring everyone, I talk to my dad on the phone but that's it. We're not a tight knit family from that side. I just wonder if I should be doing more for my younger (brother?) And if just one parent having another child should be enough to call them family?

You can't MAKE yourself love anyone... Don't wrap yourself up in guilt. Concentrate on what and who you love and be the best you can be for them.

IndianSummer

jamie uk wrote:

You can choose your friends, but not your family.....

i heard that once before. part of a very memorable conversation i had. thanks for bringing it up.

dawng

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

I have a couple of sisters that are out of the picture and one brother but I don't see them as true family. :( Sometimes it hits me and makes me feel really bad that I don't feel closer to (him/sisters are out of the picture).
Without boring everyone, I talk to my dad on the phone but that's it. We're not a tight knit family from that side. I just wonder if I should be doing more for my younger (brother?) And if just one parent having another child should be enough to call them family?

I absolutely feel that sharing one parent makes you family. I've four half siblings and love them as much as I do my full sibling. We're all much older now and closer than ever.

IMO - go for it. What do you have to lose? Ask your dad if you can come hang out with the family at the beach or something. Tell him you'd like to get to know his side of the family more. He may think you're not interested.

Good luck

Earthgirl

i have a half brother and sister that i just met 10 years ago and i never talk to them. i just dont have a bond with them and we're all doing our own thing and family doesn't always have to be blood. Do what your heart tells you to do. Be true to yourself.

angelm20

urbanhippie wrote:

You can't MAKE yourself love anyone... Don't wrap yourself up in guilt. Concentrate on what and who you love and be the best you can be for them.

So true~ You can't make anyone love you either. It hurts when you love them and they don't give a dang. Though all you can do is said above here. Please don't let it get to you.

riffrandall

An Animal wrote:

It boggles my mind how families can be like that to eachother. I don't think there is anything on this earth my sister could say or do to make me not love her anymore.

What if she were getting married & had a wedding shower & didn't invite you?
This actually happened- one of my sisters did that to me last fall. I haven't talked to her since.

I have 4 sisters, all half, and a twin brother. I'm definitely closer with the 'half' sisters with whom I share a mom. Dad's kids can see me in hell.

An Animal

riffrandall wrote:

What if she were getting married & had a wedding shower & didn't invite you?

Can't say I wouldn't speak to her anymore. Sure I would be upset about it and I would like to know why but I would try and work out any issues there was between us.

urbanhippie

It's true that you can't choose your family. And blood is thicker than water and all that.... I'd walk over hot coals for either of my siblings or my parents. The rest of them?..... I'm just not that bothered. I wish them well, but they can live their own lives. It doesn't bother me.