I think I understand you or as well as anyone can when it seems like you barely do yourself at the moment thought provoking post though... seriously. I've never really thought of it like that... I supposed single is kind of an ambiguous statement.
See to me, being single, it's either something visited upon you that you resent and don't want. Or it's something you embrace, love to be, and live with well. Least that's how I saw it. To me single is a label. It's what I have to put on all my official forms and the like you know? But I am not single. Because to be single I would need to be free and I am not free. So I guess I was single and now I am something else. It's not married and it's not single. It's another thing entirely.
See to me, being single, it's either something visited upon you that you resent and don't want. Or it's something you embrace, love to be, and live with well. Least that's how I saw it. To me single is a label. It's what I have to put on all my official forms and the like you know? But I am not single. Because to be single I would need to be free and I am not free. So I guess I was single and now I am something else. It's not married and it's not single. It's another thing entirely.
That makes absolute and perfect sense I only wish I viewed being single how you do. I'm not content being "free" I'm not overly worried though. I'm doing fine as I am and who knows what's over the horizon? maybe it's just a matter of time
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
See to me, being single, it's either something visited upon you that you resent and don't want. Or it's something you embrace, love to be, and live with well. Least that's how I saw it. To me single is a label. It's what I have to put on all my official forms and the like you know? But I am not single. Because to be single I would need to be free and I am not free. So I guess I was single and now I am something else. It's not married and it's not single. It's another thing entirely.
That makes absolute and perfect sense : ) I only wish I viewed being single how you do. I'm not content being "free" : o I'm not overly worried though. I'm doing fine as I am and who knows what's over the horizon? maybe it's just a matter of time : )
YIKES!! :eek:
If I'm making sense we gotta get you out there fella!
Single is the best I think, if your head's right! You can truly learn to love being in your own company, coz let's face it, YOU are the person you will spend the most time with in your life. So it makes sense to enjoy being around yourself. Doing the things that you enjoy, challenging yourself, entertaining yourself, loving yourself. And the beauty of that is, when you know yourself well and you have embraced single, you know exactly who you are and are more able to share YOU with someone else and recognize the kinds of people that you want to share with. But I reckon you're doing ok with it all J. Tis me that's busy with the navel contemplation lately! So many things to learn in this life.
if i may ask, which type of single is the sucky kind?
i've been single most of my life, but now its sucks alot. I cannot stress alot enough.
It sucks a lot more when you are in a place where you could really use close companionship I guess. I have been happy when single and I have felt like something is missing when single. The latter seems more true at this moment.
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
I am.. I'm indifferent with it. I really want to find a meaningful relationship, but on the other hand I enjoy the freedom I have now. I'm not going to be desperate and just settle for whatever comes my way. I've been dating too many internet weirdos lately.. I mean, who gets married 3 days after meeting somebody? She's divorced now, but I might have a date with her this week. I'm kind of hoping she doesn't call back, because so far the attraction for me is only physical.
Single is the best I think, if your head's right! You can truly learn to love being in your own company, coz let's face it, YOU are the person you will spend the most time with in your life. So it makes sense to enjoy being around yourself. Doing the things that you enjoy, challenging yourself, entertaining yourself, loving yourself. And the beauty of that is, when you know yourself well and you have embraced single, you know exactly who you are and are more able to share YOU with someone else and recognize the kinds of people that you want to share with. But I reckon you're doing ok with it all J. Tis me that's busy with the navel contemplation lately! So many things to learn in this life.
Aye I appreciate all of that and I really am generally ok with my own company. I'm not the kind of person that needs to spend every waking second surrounded by people, although I do have a nicely sized group of very close friends. I just would also quite like the opportunity to share my enjoyment of my life with someone else at the moment. I have periods when I'm totally cool with being single and I have periods when I wish I wasn't. Neither are generally overwhelming feelings at any point. I'm a pretty easy going and relaxed individual
Besides, do you ever get so lost in yourself that you would just love something/someone else to focus on? I get lost in my thoughts very easily and it can often be overwhelming. I'm much more at ease with myself when I'm around someone special who is aware of how it all works in my head
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
if i may ask, which type of single is the sucky kind?
i've been single most of my life, but now its sucks alot. I cannot stress alot enough.
Well I guess that's determined by how you feel in yourself yeah?
I guess I think I know what you mean. I've been in long term relationships and been happy, I've been in long term relationships and been miserable. I've been single and had THE BEST times of my life and NEVER wanted to be with anyone, just wanted to continue on in charge of myself and enjoying myself. I could have happily gone right through my life NEVER getting married or shacked up or have kids.
Then I don't know, the fabric around you changes, and you find yourself wanting things that include other people, rely on other people, messing with the happy single you got going on. I don't know how it works really. I guess I'm a "let it all unfold" kinda girl, so what ever is supposed to happen will and I will have to live with whatever that is. But I acknowledge that my HAPPY SINGLE is seemingly gone for now and that it's been replaced with a yearning for something more whether that equates to needing someone in my life I don't know. I know that it is specifically related to an individual. When that stops, who knows how I'll feel?
Oh and Ken's single? The way things are for him right now? That is sucky single too! Coz it's not how he wants it to be.
It's weird how it just kinda happens. One minute you're perfectly happy and the next not so much. Sorry that it's happening to you. It's not fun.
Aye I appreciate all of that and I really am generally ok with my own company. I'm not the kind of person that needs to spend every waking second surrounded by people, although I do have a nicely sized group of very close friends. I just would also quite like the opportunity to share my enjoyment of my life with someone else at the moment. I have periods when I'm totally cool with being single and I have periods when I wish I wasn't. Neither are generally overwhelming feelings at any point. I'm a pretty easy going and relaxed individual : D
Besides, do you ever get so lost in yourself that you would just love something/someone else to focus on? I get lost in my thoughts very easily and it can often be overwhelming. I'm much more at ease with myself when I'm around someone special who is aware of how it all works in my head : D
Yup! To all of the above.
I guess I can say that I am the same, except I dunno, maybe this bullshit biological clock thing they crap on about, maybe it exists? :rolleyes: It's weird. It doesn't change my basic ideals, I'm not really Mummy material, and it sure don't make me wanna go run off tomorrow, marry the first fella that shows up, spit out a bunch of kids and live happily ever after in the burbs. :eek: (and that's not a dig at anyone. If that floats your boat and you're happy, go for it I say!) But where before I was happily single, now I wonder if I am missing something? Like if I don't couple up at some point now, will my life be less? I mean it might be better, but there's a sense of less. Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by married couples, and parents and I got Bridget Jones disease? Who knows?
And yes! I get totally over myself! Sick of thinking, tired of contemplating my navel, sick of roaming around in my own head. I'm just not so sure I wanna inflict the inner workings of my mental brain on someone else! Or wait! Maybe I should say, that it's a rare thing to find someone else that can cope with the inner workings of my brain? That sounds fat headed I guess, and I'm probably not special or all that different to anyone else. I just know from experience that my brain, my thoughts they are difficult for me to deal with, so I have no expectation that anyone else be able to cope with them or me.
Yup! To all of the above.
I guess I can say that I am the same, except I dunno, maybe this bullshit biological clock thing they crap on about, maybe it exists? :rolleyes: It's weird. It doesn't change my basic ideals, I'm not really Mummy material, and it sure don't make me wanna go run off tomorrow, marry the first fella that shows up, spit out a bunch of kids and live happily ever after in the burbs. :eek: (and that's not a dig at anyone. If that floats your boat and you're happy, go for it I say!) But where before I was happily single, now I wonder if I am missing something? Like if I don't couple up at some point now, will my life be less? I mean it might be better, but there's a sense of less. Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by married couples, and parents and I got Bridget Jones disease? Who knows?
And yes! I get totally over myself! Sick of thinking, tired of contemplating my navel, sick of roaming around in my own head. I'm just not so sure I wanna inflict the inner workings of my mental brain on someone else! Or wait! Maybe I should say, that it's a rare thing to find someone else that can cope with the inner workings of my brain? That sounds fat headed I guess, and I'm probably not special or all that different to anyone else. I just know from experience that my brain, my thoughts they are difficult for me to deal with, so I have no expectation that anyone else be able to cope with them or me.
I don't think it's fatheadedness to suggest that sometimes your thoughts are overwhelming. it's not like arrogance saying they are weightier than other people's, it's just a case that people sometimes can't deal with themselves sometimes. I find it happens to me quite a lot because I think about things WAY too much. I also didn't mean that we should inflict them on other people I just mean that I think I would get on with myself a bit better if I didn't only have my own thoughts to contend with for the 70% of the time that I'm by myself. Does that make sense? I think it does...
With regards to your changing feelings about being with someone etc, I think you should just go with what feels right. I think that's generally the best judgement you can make. All I can imagine is that being with someone for good when you could have been alone is a lot easier a concept for me to accept than being alone for good when I could have been with someone
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
I don't think it's fatheadedness to suggest that sometimes your thoughts are overwhelming. it's not like arrogance saying they are weightier than other people's, it's just a case that people sometimes can't deal with themselves sometimes. I find it happens to me quite a lot because I think about things WAY too much. I also didn't mean that we should inflict them on other people : ) I just mean that I think I would get on with myself a bit better if I didn't only have my own thoughts to contend with for the 70% of the time that I'm by myself. Does that make sense? I think it does...
Oh no! I didn't mean that you would or do inflict YOUR thoughts on others. I meant that I am always concious of trying not to do that. That other people do not need to be trying to contend with my mental thought processes. It makes sense that you would be able to handle your thinking better if you make room in your head for other people and their minds. I think it's a good thing to have. It has certainly served me well. I just find it a difficult and miraculous thing to find other people that are on the same wave length as myself. You know? Although I've been very lucky lately. There's a few poor sods roaming around in my head! I'm really stoked that for whatever reason the universe or coincidence (whatever!) saw fit to connect us up. You can go a long time not making those kinds of connections. So to have a few at once is really quite a blessing or a curse, depending on what kinda day we're all having!
With regards to your changing feelings about being with someone etc, I think you should just go with what feels right. I think that's generally the best judgement you can make. All I can imagine is that being with someone for good when you could have been alone is a lot easier a concept for me to accept than being alone for good when I could have been with someone
Yes, I think that's all a person can do really, go with the flow. I'll not know how it all pans out till the day I die and maybe not even then either depending on how I go out. It is the old "better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all" scenario. It's interesting to discuss it J. You have given me food for thought. Thank you.
Oh no! I didn't mean that you would or do inflict YOUR thoughts on others. I meant that I am always concious of trying not to do that. That other people do not need to be trying to contend with my mental thought processes. It makes sense that you would be able to handle your thinking better if you make room in your head for other people and their minds. I think it's a good thing to have. It has certainly served me well. I just find it a difficult and miraculous thing to find other people that are on the same wave length as myself. You know? Although I've been very lucky lately. There's a few poor sods roaming around in my head! I'm really stoked that for whatever reason the universe or coincidence (whatever!) saw fit to connect us up. You can go a long time not making those kinds of connections. So to have a few at once is really quite a blessing or a curse, depending on what kinda day we're all having!
Yes, I think that's all a person can do really, go with the flow. I'll not know how it all pans out till the day I die and maybe not even then either depending on how I go out. It is the old "better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all" scenario. It's interesting to discuss it J. You have given me food for thought. Thank you.
It has indeed been a most enjoyable and illuminating discussion. I hope there are many more like it but now I should really try to sleep before my early start. Have a good night Jeanie
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
It has indeed been a most enjoyable and illuminating discussion. I hope there are many more like it but now I should really try to sleep before my early start. Have a good night Jeanie
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I think sometimes being single sucks, and sometimes being in a relationship sucks.
though I have to say, in my one full-time relationship I was much more happy with it than I thought I would be. I didn't think I would be able to handle being so much of an "us" but I did pretty well. It was nice to have someone always around and whatnot. the only problem was that it left VERY little time for myself (with school on top of it) and was a huge factor of me getting in the mess of being out-of-shape that is preventing me from ever getting into another relationship...I think I've learned from that mistake though. If I ever do come out of this and find another man I'll be sure not to hang out in bed with him and cook pancakes til 12 noon on the weekends...
Comments
See to me, being single, it's either something visited upon you that you resent and don't want. Or it's something you embrace, love to be, and live with well. Least that's how I saw it. To me single is a label. It's what I have to put on all my official forms and the like you know? But I am not single. Because to be single I would need to be free and I am not free. So I guess I was single and now I am something else. It's not married and it's not single. It's another thing entirely.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
-Greg Dulli
aw! that made me smile
Holy Crap! :eek:
I work 84 hours a week, but at least I get the next week off. Damn!
I forgot what I was gonna say.
--P. Farrell
Not trying to giggle at you but gee you got the bloke down pat!
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
yeah i know
if i may ask, which type of single is the sucky kind?
i've been single most of my life, but now its sucks alot. I cannot stress alot enough.
-Greg Dulli
yeah, its rather crazy if you ask me.
YIKES!! :eek:
If I'm making sense we gotta get you out there fella!
Single is the best I think, if your head's right! You can truly learn to love being in your own company, coz let's face it, YOU are the person you will spend the most time with in your life. So it makes sense to enjoy being around yourself. Doing the things that you enjoy, challenging yourself, entertaining yourself, loving yourself. And the beauty of that is, when you know yourself well and you have embraced single, you know exactly who you are and are more able to share YOU with someone else and recognize the kinds of people that you want to share with. But I reckon you're doing ok with it all J.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
Besides, do you ever get so lost in yourself that you would just love something/someone else to focus on? I get lost in my thoughts very easily and it can often be overwhelming. I'm much more at ease with myself when I'm around someone special who is aware of how it all works in my head
Well I guess that's determined by how you feel in yourself yeah?
I guess I think I know what you mean. I've been in long term relationships and been happy, I've been in long term relationships and been miserable. I've been single and had THE BEST times of my life and NEVER wanted to be with anyone, just wanted to continue on in charge of myself and enjoying myself. I could have happily gone right through my life NEVER getting married or shacked up or have kids.
Then I don't know, the fabric around you changes, and you find yourself wanting things that include other people, rely on other people, messing with the happy single you got going on. I don't know how it works really. I guess I'm a "let it all unfold" kinda girl, so what ever is supposed to happen will and I will have to live with whatever that is. But I acknowledge that my HAPPY SINGLE is seemingly gone for now and that it's been replaced with a yearning for something more whether that equates to needing someone in my life I don't know. I know that it is specifically related to an individual. When that stops, who knows how I'll feel?
Oh and Ken's single? The way things are for him right now? That is sucky single too! Coz it's not how he wants it to be.
It's weird how it just kinda happens. One minute you're perfectly happy and the next not so much. Sorry that it's happening to you. It's not fun.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
Yup! To all of the above.
I guess I can say that I am the same, except I dunno, maybe this bullshit biological clock thing they crap on about, maybe it exists? :rolleyes: It's weird. It doesn't change my basic ideals, I'm not really Mummy material, and it sure don't make me wanna go run off tomorrow, marry the first fella that shows up, spit out a bunch of kids and live happily ever after in the burbs. :eek: (and that's not a dig at anyone. If that floats your boat and you're happy, go for it I say!) But where before I was happily single, now I wonder if I am missing something? Like if I don't couple up at some point now, will my life be less? I mean it might be better, but there's a sense of less. Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by married couples, and parents and I got Bridget Jones disease? Who knows?
And yes! I get totally over myself! Sick of thinking, tired of contemplating my navel, sick of roaming around in my own head. I'm just not so sure I wanna inflict the inner workings of my mental brain on someone else!
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
With regards to your changing feelings about being with someone etc, I think you should just go with what feels right. I think that's generally the best judgement you can make. All I can imagine is that being with someone for good when you could have been alone is a lot easier a concept for me to accept than being alone for good when I could have been with someone
Oh no!
Yes, I think that's all a person can do really, go with the flow. I'll not know how it all pans out till the day I die and maybe not even then either depending on how I go out. It is the old "better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all" scenario. It's interesting to discuss it J. You have given me food for thought. Thank you.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
Good night love.
get some warm milk into ya!
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
seriously sorry for your pain! and of course, as cliched as it sounds....time heals all wounds. hope your heart has a speedy recovery!
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
Toronto 2011 night 2
Hamilton 2011
London 2013
Watch some non-Leafs games and keep the fridge stocked with your Labatt's.
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
Toronto 2011 night 2
Hamilton 2011
London 2013
Toronto 2011 night 2
Hamilton 2011
London 2013
Toronto 2011 night 2
Hamilton 2011
London 2013
though I have to say, in my one full-time relationship I was much more happy with it than I thought I would be. I didn't think I would be able to handle being so much of an "us" but I did pretty well. It was nice to have someone always around and whatnot. the only problem was that it left VERY little time for myself (with school on top of it) and was a huge factor of me getting in the mess of being out-of-shape that is preventing me from ever getting into another relationship...I think I've learned from that mistake though. If I ever do come out of this and find another man I'll be sure not to hang out in bed with him and cook pancakes til 12 noon on the weekends...