rant, anyone else fancy one?
wavescamecrashing
Posts: 440
im having one of those days where i feel like shit, that whatever i do is never good enough and that my life is no longer under my control as i see fit, but under the influence of others, whether i like it or not. I am a simple person, with humble dreams, why is so fucking hard sometimes? i feel totally powerless to stand up for myself at work because it makes the situation worse. And i feel totally powerless to help my family, esp the ones that are ill. I can't see friends properly because of the fact that i have to spend time doing bs for work that is unrelated to the end result, other than ticking a box. And because im so vulnerable at the moment, i am conscious of burdening my boyfriend, who is such an angel and needs me to be strong for him right now. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
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I've had a pang of sadness tonight; on my own, in a silent house, it's suddenly occurred to me that I'm on my own. I was trying to like it but I don't, I can't lie. It's not that I miss my ex wife. I just miss having someone to think about daily, someone to live for, someone to concentrate all my emotional efforts on. I always wanted to live for someone/with someone, and I did, but now it's just me and that's not the way I planned it. I guess I don't want to feel like I need to be with someone and I can't be on my own. I can. I just never wanted to, and certainly not so suddenly.
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
Do you feel powerless to help your family because they are in a different country?
Can't you call your friends on the phone and connect with them that way?
It sounds to me that you may need some help in mangaging your time when you are away from work.
You can't feel powerless unless you are dead.
Call your family. Send a note.
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You got two REALLY big stressors right there wave.
Family illness/problems and work stress. If you can recognize them for what they are, things that you don't really have any power over but can't escape, then it can be a bit easier to deal with them. You can only do your best, try to look after yourself first, because this will help you deal with everything else. Take some time out for you. Go do something pleasant, just for you for an afternoon. It might help you get a little bit of clarity on the situation and give your brain a rest from the stress long enough to formulate a plan on how to proceed. One thing you should do if you can, is get yourself some support.
If you are able to clear your head a little bit, I think you'll find that there are things you can do to help the situations, but it's a bit hard when you're overwhelmed with everything. Just take a bit of me time. One thing I do know for sure is that shit comes and goes in this life. The best we can do is find ways to ride the lows until the highs come again.
Sorry if that doesn't help you at all, tis a bit hard to give practical help when I don't know the situation, BUT I do know that things will change for you soon enough, and then again, and still again ad infinitum. Just try to ride it out and don't forget some "me" time.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
Better to vent than bottle it up.
Really, don't feel bad for complaining. Sometimes you just have to! Some times in life are just shitty! No need to waste precious energy trying to be Pollyanna!
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
You know harmless, you're a cool dude! :cool: It's awful when you realize that you're alone and maybe that's not how you want it to be, HOWEVER, in reality we're all alone. You are the person you're gonna spend the most time with in this life, why not learn to think about YOU daily, live for YOURSELF, concentrate all your emotional efforts on YOU, learn to love YOU and enjoy your own company. I'm not saying you have to stay that way for ever, but seeing as how you are going to be spending more time with yourself than anybody else in this life, LEARN all about yourself, learn to love you. You'll have so much more to give someone else if they come along then, BUT even better, you'll be able to love and rely on yourself and that's a very powerful feeling to have.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
You're right. Thanks Jeanie.
I have had bursts of positivity followed by pangs of sadness, then back again. It feels like I'm bipolar. When I'm up, I'm really up; I'm hopeful that I can, and will, have the strongest sense of self I've ever had. I'm stupidly excited about things like my tattoo; it's going to be a marker, you know?
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
Yeah, I know that feeling! Break ups and discovering yourself newly single, it's a rollercoaster of emotions for sure! The only thing that helped for me was to try to even it out. I couldn't stop myself feeling miserable and really low some days, so I made it my focus to accept that it was just a shitty day today and just try to ride it out. It's really all you can do. (well you can just sink down into it, BUT not too far!
As for the tattoo well, I have to say it was ONE of THE MOST liberating things I did after the break up! It was my way of saying, "This is my body, this is me and I'm the one that's going to mark it and this time in my life the way I like!" It was very cathartic! And still serves as a positive reminder to me that I belong to myself!
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
oh be still my beating heart, i was thinking the same thing. do i dare start a rant? ive been offered the chance to waffle on several occasions, but rant? that's just way too much temptation right there.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
harmless lf... jeanie is right, just try to get to know yourself and if you feel down or low, call someone or do something really fun and take ur mind off it. then again, i think its good to wallow for a little while after a breakup, but not more than a couple of days...
jeanie, thanks for the advice. work stuff is the usual boring story about being forced to play a game you dont want to play, but i have worked out exactly how long i have to put up with this particular situation and am literally counting down the days!
over the past month i have had six close family/friends ill, with 4 being in hospital, so thats what i mean by feeling powerless. there are little things you can do and it does help, but its like a horrible feeling of what will happen next...and not being able to control it.
but hey ho, you have to roll with the punches, and it was def good to rant xxx
catefrances, go for it!!!
No matter how much it feels otherwise, you are still DEFINITELY in control of your life and your reaction to situations. Telling yourself that others are in control is false and contributes to the problem. You need to remind yourself that you are in control.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
thanks for the offer but no, tis best i check myself on this.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
"I don't know" will go down in history as the worst response for any question - especially relationship questions.
Here's some advice for guys: If a woman asks you if you want to be with her, and you have to think about it for more than a moment and you start to say, "I don't know," stop yourself. Remove the "I" "don't" and the k and the w, and just say "No."
Sure, it will be hard to tell a woman "No" because she might get sad. Or it might be hard to tell her "No" because you want to string her along some more so you can get laid a few more times. Just be a man and say "No."
The initial shock of hearing the "No" is so much easier to deal with than the weeks of wondering if a guy has made up his mind. Say it with me, gentlemen: "I don't know means 'No'."
kevinbeetle: "Yes. When her career washes up and her and Gavin move to Galveston, you will meet her at Hot Topic shopping for a Japanese cheerleader outfit.
Next!"
you shouldn't feel sad about being on your own. You have someone to think about daily and concentrate your efforts on- you! Plus, I know you've mentioned your dad and stuff, so you've got people to care about. Just because you're romantically single doesn't mean you're "alone." and as for not being the way you planned it- who cares! Plans are lame.
I don't quite feel like I have control of my life these days either. or my body. I'm kind of at the mercy of outside forces. and I know that no part of my day has anything to do with what *I* really want.
I'M FUCKING ILL AGAIN!!!!!!!!
:mad:
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
Ugh. Gar! I'm still mad three hours later!
kevinbeetle: "Yes. When her career washes up and her and Gavin move to Galveston, you will meet her at Hot Topic shopping for a Japanese cheerleader outfit.
Next!"