My grandma just died?
bedface cooper.
Posts: 193
Since Sept 8th, she's first been to a hospital, then an old people's home and then a hospital again. Last Wednesday they brought her back home, and things got better first. On Sunday, however, she wasn't able to breathe anymore. We first thought it was over then. All of us said our goodbyes to her, my sister got home from Vienna. The next day, everything looked different. She spoke to us again, recognized us, even joked a bit. But we all sort of knew how this wouldn't last for long. Yesterday she already didn't really react on us, but still kept holding our hands when we took hers. Today, she was just lying there, looking horrible. The nurse who's been helping us decided that ... well, there wasn't really a thing to do except for waiting. She fought, and fought, and fought... She wouldn't want to leave us.
About an hour ago, she finally was released from her pain and fell asleep. She looks quite peaceful now.
It's the first time that I've lost someone who was THAT close to me.
I'm not really sad now, though.
I mean, of course it's gonna be weird without her, but I know how bad it was with her.
There was nothing we could've done now. Sitting beside her, 'taking care' of her, just made me feel so damn helpless. She was breathing so hard, was conscious only for a few seconds at a time.
I'm just a bit angry that everyone else wouldn't let me alone with her now so I can't have my goodbyes.
She was so lovely in the past days (when she was conscious anyways). Old people are becoming, in my eyes, a bit like kids again.
I don't really know why I'm writing/posting this, I just really felt the need to vent... I'm not really able to speak to my family now.
About an hour ago, she finally was released from her pain and fell asleep. She looks quite peaceful now.
It's the first time that I've lost someone who was THAT close to me.
I'm not really sad now, though.
I mean, of course it's gonna be weird without her, but I know how bad it was with her.
There was nothing we could've done now. Sitting beside her, 'taking care' of her, just made me feel so damn helpless. She was breathing so hard, was conscious only for a few seconds at a time.
I'm just a bit angry that everyone else wouldn't let me alone with her now so I can't have my goodbyes.
She was so lovely in the past days (when she was conscious anyways). Old people are becoming, in my eyes, a bit like kids again.
I don't really know why I'm writing/posting this, I just really felt the need to vent... I'm not really able to speak to my family now.
Kids! Bringing about Armageddon can be dangerous. Do not attempt it in your own home.
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May she rest in peace.
You are in my thoughts today.
May you find some peace yourself.
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
I don't really know how to feel at the moment.
I hope you can cry with your family when you have the funeral. Maybe it'll make you feel closer to them again?
I am so sorry you are not being let alone with her.
I have often found comfort in the company of older folks. I was 'raised' by 7 great aunts and uncles and their spouses. Large Polish family. They are all gone from me now and I miss their companionship.
Again, I am so sorry.
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
"The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"
"What's your name?"
"FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
if talking about it here is somewhat of a release to you, go ahead...don't hold it in.
Esther's here and she's sick?
hi Esther, now we are all going to be sick, thanks
Maybe it will. I think it's a lot harder for them than for me, I've already sort of had the whole crying thing on Sunday, cause I felt so sorry for her. It's so hard for me to see my parents crying.
I just sneaked in and then shut the door to say goodbye... I really couldn't do this with everyone around, it's so personal. But, that up there, that wasn't her anymore.
there is no right or wrong way to feel so don't think that
it's hard it gets more bareable
i've been through it so many times all my grandparets and my dad have all past
i wish you and yours all the best
peace and love will get you through
My dad passed 13 years ago on Thanksgiving (well 11/24 to be exact).
Hold onto your memories - they stay forever
Don't worry about how you're 'supposed to feel', nobody knows in these situations. We're here anyway so you can keep talking
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
2007: Copenhagen, Werchter
2009: Rotterdam, London
2010: MSG, Arras, Werchter
2012: Amsterdam, Prague, Berlin
2014: Amsterdam, Stockholm
I still remember one of the last things she said to me... She suddenly grabbed my hand really hard, and I was like "What's the matter, I'm here" and she looked at me, really awake, huge eyes and said "Really?". I replied "Of course, I'm taking care of you" and she was just like "Ok I'm fine then".
That's what is helping me most now... She is 79 years old, she worked through her whole life, had problem with her knees and everything over the past years. She's somewhere better, she doesn't have to feel the pain anymore now?
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow