relationship question

genie

just wondering:

once you get into relationship how many times do you speak to/text your bf/gf per week?

i used to think it was women that needed constant calling and attention. but that is until i went out with two guys, and one was calling me each day and the other used to text me each day :rolleyes:

i'm the sort of girl that likes time for herself, and contacting them everyday seemed like a chore until i got used to it. don't get me wrong i liked them but talking to someone everyday i consider madness.

what are your views on this?

South of Seattle

I'm much like you as far as this goes. But now with my current lady we do talk much, much more. I guess it all depends how often you see your girl/boyfriend. I think if you see them more often, you'd probably talk on the phone less. Every situation is a little different. Many dynamics to consider in a relationship.

SENROCK

South of Seattle wrote:

I'm much like you as far as this goes. But now with my current lady we do talk much, much more. I guess it all depends how often you see your girl/boyfriend. I think if you see them more often, you'd probably talk on the phone less. Every situation is a little different. Many dynamics to consider in a relationship.

i agree that it depends on the person. some people enjoy being with each other daily or in contact 24/7. others prefer their space. if it feels like a CHORE........quit it!!! it should be somn u look FORWARD to when thinkingof talking or seeing that person. Not something you dread. ESPECIALLY if ure in a relationship!

genie

SENROCK! wrote:

i agree that it depends on the person. some people enjoy being with each other daily or in contact 24/7. others prefer their space. if it feels like a CHORE........quit it!!! it should be somn u look FORWARD to when thinkingof talking or seeing that person. Not something you dread. ESPECIALLY if ure in a relationship!

you're right, next time i don't text back my future bf for 3 days or something i will quote what you've said hehe only joking though

basically i'll be more tougher next time, and if someone doesn't like it then they weren't meant to be anyways.

urbanhippie

I think it depends on the nature of your relationship. I can't see my b/f for 6 weeks at a time, so we text lots of times during the day and speak on the phone for an hour most days.

Basically, it's whatever you feel comfortable with. And I agree with those who've said it should never be a chore. No matter how many texts I get in a day, each one makes me smile again.

pearljamgirl07

I agree with the guys all depends how often do you see your gf/bf but if I'm with my boy everyday and then he calls me many times I'll kill him.....hahahahhhaa

SENROCK

urbanhippie wrote:

No matter how many texts I get in a day, each one makes me smile again.

ahhhhhh i know EXXXACTLY how that feels. Texxxting is so good when theres distance isnt it?

urbanhippie

SENROCK! wrote:

ahhhhhh i know EXXXACTLY how that feels. Texxxting is so good when theres distance isnt it?

Thank God my network has unlimited texts ... It'd cost me a small fortune. Worth it though

AnnaMelinda

SENROCK! wrote:

ahhhhhh i know EXXXACTLY how that feels. Texxxting is so good when theres distance isnt it?

Until the texts mysteriously STOP.

Then the texting and the distance and the friendship/relationship all seem to SUCK. :(

Swan

genie wrote:

just wondering:

once you get into relationship how many times do you speak to/text your bf/gf per week?

i used to think it was women that needed constant calling and attention. but that is until i went out with two guys, and one was calling me each day and the other used to text me each day :rolleyes:

i'm the sort of girl that likes time for herself, and contacting them everyday seemed like a chore until i got used to it. don't get me wrong i liked them but talking to someone everyday i consider madness.

what are your views on this?

it's madness, tell them to calm down and behave like men.

FinsburyParkCarrots

genie wrote:

i went out with two guys

At the same time? I mean, you know ...

brain of c

never ever texed.

justam

genie wrote:

just wondering:

once you get into relationship how many times do you speak to/text your bf/gf per week?

i used to think it was women that needed constant calling and attention. but that is until i went out with two guys, and one was calling me each day and the other used to text me each day :rolleyes:

i'm the sort of girl that likes time for herself, and contacting them everyday seemed like a chore until i got used to it. don't get me wrong i liked them but talking to someone everyday i consider madness.

what are your views on this?

In my experience, men need a lot of attention. More than one might imagine so you have to figure out what they need and deliver it as efficiently as possible.

FinsburyParkCarrots

To both of them.

SENROCK

suppafreak wrote:

Until the texts mysteriously STOP.

Then the texting and the distance and the friendship/relationship all seem to SUCK. :(

awww you hadd to kill the FLOW!!! its true though. i remember i met someone super cool at the vancouver show in 05. we would texxxt so much and EVERY texxxt was a great one and NEVER failed to brighten my day. Then last year.......it disappeared. :eek: both our faults. But we are still really good frenz no matter what.

norm

genie wrote:

but talking to someone everyday i consider madness.

me too.....too much contact drives me nuts.....what's the old phrase "absence makes the heart grow fonder"....:o

genie

Swan wrote:

it's madness, tell them to calm down and behave like men.

good advice, i will indeed do so next time i meet another nutter.

i actually learned how to pay attention to a guy when i was with my first ex cause he was complaining that i was cold towards him, so when i was with the second one i got no complaints, but i did have to tell him not to be romantic with me cause i'm not romantic kinda girl. i dare any guy to bring me flowers on the first date ( basically nothing good would come out of such gesture )

basically men do need to behave like men! i don't want some sensitive, insecure, controlling wreck with me , i want a companion.

genie

pearljamgirl07 wrote:

I agree with the guys all depends how often do you see your gf/bf but if I'm with my boy everyday and then he calls me many times I'll kill him.....hahahahhhaa

when i was dating them i saw them at least once each week.

GreenTeaDisease

genie wrote:

just wondering:

once you get into relationship how many times do you speak to/text your bf/gf per week?

i used to think it was women that needed constant calling and attention. but that is until i went out with two guys, and one was calling me each day and the other used to text me each day :rolleyes:

i'm the sort of girl that likes time for herself, and contacting them everyday seemed like a chore until i got used to it. don't get me wrong i liked them but talking to someone everyday i consider madness.

what are your views on this?

I knew I was in a good relationship when I was in one in which I didn't think about stuff like this .

the prior one, however, I would usually try to strike up a email or IM convo with him between dates, because you know, I just wanted to get to know him and start acting like friends. when he broke up with me he told me that was a sign that I was too into him. what immature bullshit.

genie

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

At the same time? I mean, you know ...

haha, well i'm not that kind of girl. but if i did do such thing with those two i'd be tired constantly, i wouldn't be able to keep up.......mentally ofcourse physically is whole other different story

genie

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I knew I was in a good relationship when I was in one in which I didn't think about stuff like this .

the prior one, however, I would usually try to strike up a email or IM convo with him between dates, because you know, I just wanted to get to know him and start acting like friends. when he broke up with me he told me that was a sign that I was too into him. what immature bullshit.

hhmm..i don't know....i would find it scary if someone was too full on with me and too much into me....i would actually be a bit put off that person thinking they were too desperate. so i don't think he was immature.

Spunkie

genie wrote:

just wondering:

once you get into relationship how many times do you speak to/text your bf/gf per week?

i used to think it was women that needed constant calling and attention. but that is until i went out with two guys, and one was calling me each day and the other used to text me each day :rolleyes:

i'm the sort of girl that likes time for herself, and contacting them everyday seemed like a chore until i got used to it. don't get me wrong i liked them but talking to someone everyday i consider madness.

what are your views on this?

Twice a week.

genie

tish wrote:

Twice a week.

finally someone who replied to my exact question ok thank you. this seems pretty good for me

GreenTeaDisease

genie wrote:

hhmm..i don't know....i would find it scary if someone was too full on with me and too much into me....i would actually be a bit put off that person thinking they were too desperate. so i don't think he was immature.

no I mean I have been in that position before as well, and I am with you that I too like my space quite a bit, no matter how long I've been in the relationship. but that's not what I was doing- I wasn't even really that into him. he didn't think we should have ANY contact outside of dates. I was just saying hey every once in a while like I would naturally do with any of my friends (and I never use the phone, I don't like it). It's stupid to be dating someone if you can't just be normal with them (like my friend who has been in a serious relationship since sept, yet won't invite her boyfriend anywhere her friends will be, even spur of the moment, for fear that he'll freak out that she's "introducing him" to her friends. come on, we are 30 years old. what bullshit).

genie

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

no I mean I have been in that position before as well, and I am with you that I too like my space quite a bit, no matter how long I've been in the relationship. but that's not what I was doing- I wasn't even really that into him. he didn't think we should have ANY contact outside of dates. I was just saying hey every once in a while like I would naturally do with any of my friends (and I never use the phone, I don't like it). It's stupid to be dating someone if you can't just be normal with them (like my friend who has been in a serious relationship since sept, yet won't invite her boyfriend anywhere her friends will be, even spur of the moment, for fear that he'll freak out that she's "introducing him" to her friends. come on, we are 30 years old. what bullshit).

i see, ok maybe that guy had other intentions on his mind, like gather few different women around him that he is dating and have sex with different woman each week but not having to bother to listen to them.....

the wolf

there are days where my gf and i maybe speak 10 words to each other. and we live together!!!!

J/K

actually, i guess ive always been a bit needy in that dept. cause i like to at least talk for a bit, even when one of us are out of town.

i guess its different for everyone.

fada

I went drinking with a few mates last weekend or so and my mate had his new girlfriend with him whom had a her friend with her. Anyway I got talking to her friend and I thought that he were hitting it off. Anyway we tried to get to a nightclub but they were all shut after the we got out of the pub. I had to go to my brothers place for the night as I was working early the next morning. Anyway I asked my mate to ask her friend what she thought of me and to ask for her number but He gave me the text that she wasn't giving a yes or no. Now come one you either like some one or you don't .

eyedclaar

I have never owned a cell phone, nor will I ever own a cellphone, nor have I ever sent or received a text. In other words, I am of no use to you here... However, obviously I don't keep tabs on my woman nor does she keep tabs on me.

genie

fada wrote:

Now come one you either like some one or you don't .

not with me, i may like someone but wouldn't want to talk to them each day!

and anyway i show my appreciation to someone in other ways. i just like my own space due to my background, how i grew up

Sian-of-the-dead

I talk to my boyfriend via text, msn, facebook, email and phonecalls everyday (obviously not all in one day... that would be weird.) and I don't find it excessive at all. His texts always make me smile and we share the stupidest things about our days. I can't sleep if I haven't spoken to him last thing at night

I agree with most people who've posted, it's whatever you feel comfortable with.

Heineken Helen

SENROCK! wrote:

i agree that it depends on the person. some people enjoy being with each other daily or in contact 24/7. others prefer their space. if it feels like a CHORE........quit it!!! it should be somn u look FORWARD to when thinkingof talking or seeing that person. Not something you dread. ESPECIALLY if ure in a relationship!

I agree... I used to hate almost any texts or calls thinking 'GIMME FUCKING space' even if it was only every 2nd day

But when you meet someone you really want to be with... there's no limit really.