New years drug fest has ruined my friendship
pjfan31
Posts: 7,334
I went to this New years eve concer called Shore thing which had 2 bands playing, Sneaky sound system and Groove armada. It is not my scene and i knew that about 80% of people there would be on drugs which i am totaly against and have never taken anything illegal in my life.
I went with a few mates and a mates girlfriend and her friends. I knew my mate and his girlfriend would be one of the thousands popping pills but i thought i would have 3 mates to stick strong with.
So it was probably 9 something i have already seen this girl presumably overdosed and it want a good site.
After 2 of my mates decided this wasnt for them they were going to go to another party and leave I thought I have paid $130 for my ticket and i wanna stay with my other mate so he doesnt get influenced by these other idiots and take drugs. I thought i will stick with him make sure he doesnt do anything (because he is a sheep, if one person does something so will he.)
After our other mates left he said "Oh your not going with them" I said "nah I told u i was going to stay here with you and we can see it out" he then starts saying "You will be best going with those other guys because I'm going to be hanging out with those guys" I said "You have taken something havent u u little prick" Hes like "No but u know wat im like, i probably will, go with those other guys we are going to get right amongst it (mosh pit/dance floor) and u wont like it" I said u have taken something havent u" "nah man I swear i havent but im going to hang with these guys." I said "Well tell me now because i will find out in a few minutes when it hits u" He smiled at me and said "yeh just a small one" I said "thanks for ruining my new yrs and walked off.
I refuse to be the only person not affected by drugs, and this so called mate of mine had said he hasnt touched anything since last new yrs and never will again he hates it, he has bad mouthed my other friends who do it and after i stayed with him so he wouldnt be tempted and after buying his ticket to this fkn thing i feel he has stabbed me in the back. I am so angry with him.
So after spennding $260 on tickets $100 on a taxi home, I was home before 11.50pm. I never liked new years i was hoping this would be different but it officialy rates as my worst. To make things worse I could of given his ticket to some hot german chick who i have be-friended in the last couple of weeks but i was already committed to my mate.
So I have known him since i was 4 so that is 18 yrs of friendship and at the moment I really dont feel like seeing or talking to this selfish prick.
Sorry for spilling all this out but i find it good to share my thoughts on here rather then bottling it up.
I went with a few mates and a mates girlfriend and her friends. I knew my mate and his girlfriend would be one of the thousands popping pills but i thought i would have 3 mates to stick strong with.
So it was probably 9 something i have already seen this girl presumably overdosed and it want a good site.
After 2 of my mates decided this wasnt for them they were going to go to another party and leave I thought I have paid $130 for my ticket and i wanna stay with my other mate so he doesnt get influenced by these other idiots and take drugs. I thought i will stick with him make sure he doesnt do anything (because he is a sheep, if one person does something so will he.)
After our other mates left he said "Oh your not going with them" I said "nah I told u i was going to stay here with you and we can see it out" he then starts saying "You will be best going with those other guys because I'm going to be hanging out with those guys" I said "You have taken something havent u u little prick" Hes like "No but u know wat im like, i probably will, go with those other guys we are going to get right amongst it (mosh pit/dance floor) and u wont like it" I said u have taken something havent u" "nah man I swear i havent but im going to hang with these guys." I said "Well tell me now because i will find out in a few minutes when it hits u" He smiled at me and said "yeh just a small one" I said "thanks for ruining my new yrs and walked off.
I refuse to be the only person not affected by drugs, and this so called mate of mine had said he hasnt touched anything since last new yrs and never will again he hates it, he has bad mouthed my other friends who do it and after i stayed with him so he wouldnt be tempted and after buying his ticket to this fkn thing i feel he has stabbed me in the back. I am so angry with him.
So after spennding $260 on tickets $100 on a taxi home, I was home before 11.50pm. I never liked new years i was hoping this would be different but it officialy rates as my worst. To make things worse I could of given his ticket to some hot german chick who i have be-friended in the last couple of weeks but i was already committed to my mate.
So I have known him since i was 4 so that is 18 yrs of friendship and at the moment I really dont feel like seeing or talking to this selfish prick.
Sorry for spilling all this out but i find it good to share my thoughts on here rather then bottling it up.
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oxc
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
I agree with Harmless.
It sounds like your friend just wanted to have a good NYE and take some E. It's his body, not yours. It doesn't even sound like he's got a drug problem either, it's a night of celebration and he wanted to take it a little further this evening. As long as he's not pressuring you or forcing you, then it's not your problem.
i know i was the one who walked away but its sooo bad being the only one not on drugs, i have been that person before.
Anyway as Itchy and Scratchy once said 'Kids Say No To Drugs"
Happy new years ppl.
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I know it sucks being the only person not on the specific substance. I would tend to think that most of us have been in that type of situation before.
But you basically went to a Rave, and at Raves there are TONS of drugs. You should have at least expected that this could happen and everyone there is going to be dosed.
you should have gone to a party you KNEW was more to your taste.
Yep, this is right. When in Rome, people will do what the Romans do, you can't help that.
It's like, when in Spain, you can't order bacon and eggs and fried bread accompanied by tacky English cabaret.
Oh, hang on...
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
^^^^I feel this way too.
And I do understand your stance on drugs...mine is the same. If other people want to do them, then they will, and I don't have a MAJOR problem with it asling as they aren't addicts or dealers. They know my stance on it, they know it doesn't impress me, and I know they sometimes do it. I don't put myself in a situation where I know there will be drugs, as there's only gonna be one outcome...and it ends like this.
Sorry, but this is how I see it.
I don't wanna think, I wanna feel
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And it's pretty sad thing to end such a long friendship because you have a difference of opinion.
I hope that you and your friend resolve your issues.
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yeah, but be easy on this guy; I think he just wanted to help someone out. Maybe it was unrealistic, but I have been "there" with good friends and one of them does something like that and then you feel like you are out of the loop and can't even talk to these people who are presently out of your realm...., you know? when I was around people who were doing coke all of the time, I had a hard time because they were not at all able to talk to me in the same manner people talk when you aren't partying. Plus, when you're doing coke, (I am not sure about the ectasy thing but I know that coke was that way), you think that anybody who isn't is a drag, I think.
But that said, I also think it's important to remember this night and next time it's important to make sure you are having fun and all to not make plans that center around people who stand the chance of being people who will do this to you. I think you did an awesome thing; trying to be there for your friend, but you also deserve to have a good time and now you see that being there at the same place, although, again, a great thing, did not stop him from doing drugs.
happy new year though. perhaps a new year to start thinking about yourself and not always others?
the feng shui article I read said that you are to only think about the good on new year's day and not the things that are bad, leftover from the previous year.
Together we will float like angels.........
In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
I don't understand exactly what you're problem is. now, does your friend get all lethargic and ridiculous on whatever he's on? and what exactly is he on? acid? extacy? I guess being the only one NOT on drugs like those in a group of friends would be a bummer. but if they're only popping pills like vicodin or smoking pot, that's not a big deal. let them get they're kicks and they'll let you get yours.
well, he does have to hide who he is and/or what he wants to do that night from you to keep you from whining
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your talking about your mate being a sheep?? well he didnt have to hold your hand either did he? its nye - you'd have found and met god only knows how many people to chat with if you'd wanted.
but
i can feel for you about the whole drug thing. yknow - it was probably just because it was a big night, and he thought that he would have a bigger one if he did that. we all make stuff ups like that in our earlier years. Some people learn, but some dont, and it gets worse. he doesnt need you walking away and burning bridges right now.
you dont have to go out and be angry with him. but if he is really your friend - or ever was - just watch him.
this is a 'you' problem. stay home next year.
http://www.myspace.com/brain_of_c
yep...
Esther's here and she's sick?
hi Esther, now we are all going to be sick, thanks
as for your buddy....well....drug ( just like food, sex ) is a temptation hard to resist. he was not hurting you right? why should he listen to you?
he is his own person and he can do whatever he likes as long as he is not hurting you in the process.
also, if you couldn't bear the thought of being with your friend when he's on drugs, how come you could tolerate an 80% of stoned crowed??
i'm glad i'm not your friend, cause i wouldn't want to have a friend who can end friendship because of such stupid thing.
You obviously learnt that you can't count on your friends to not put themselves in a situation where you'll have to baby-sit them because it's oh-so-important to "get fucked up". It's hard not to feel responsible for your friends but this is where you crossed your own line. You had more faith in your friends than you should have, and while it's going to sting for awhile, but this should help you develop the shell that you'll need in order to still be friends with drug users.
A friend of mine was seemingly turning the corner, going to the hospital for help to get a proper diagnosis and treatment for his adult ADD, depression, and meth abuse. He should have stayed much longer. All he's doing now is overusing the prescription drugs - even cadging them from another friend of ours who has severe anxiety and depression (and takes her meds as prescribed.) She shouldn't have allowed him to take her stuff, but she can be too kind for her own good. He's used me, too, mostly for money. He always says he'll pay me back, but he never will. It's not about the money, it's the principle of saying you're going to do something, but never living up to your word. I was worried about myself losing a friend so I ponied up. In the last year, I finally started to grow a spine but it's slow going, for sure. He can be - is, rather - a champion manipulator. At least our other friend now realizes it as much as I have come to in the last while, and we can talk to each other on how to deal with this.
Thing is, if you start to cut these people off - or at least down in terms of time spent with them - after enabling them for so long, they notice and think you're giving up on them. Then, if something happens, guess where the blame ends up? On you, because you "abandoned them". Which is crap, because they put themselves in their situation.
So what do you do? Continue to get walked on by people you care about despite their drug use, or save your own sanity by taking steps to protect yourself from getting hurt by them? There doesn't seem to be much middle ground, and what middle ground exists is covered in egg shells.
I agree with you in a lot of that as well as know first hand that not getting treated for your ADD/ADHD is a very big place for self medicating but I see that your friend doesn't seem to be ready to stop the recreational drugs. For now, they are "working" for him and until he starts to feel bad on the drugs he won't stop them.
But I think the middle ground might be achieved when you pick and choose the times and places that are really important to you not to be in those kinds of situations and risk having a bad time.
Maybe if you do think about your needs then you can better help yourself not be set up by the friends that dissapoint you. You can still be friends and be there for them, but not as the risk of your own self respect or money if it already a juggle finaancially which I don't knowif it is, but I wanted to cover that as well.
eggshells are no fun. when people that you choose to be around are dropping them all over the place then you have to wonder just why you are around these people in the first place. People you enjoy should be enjoyable. There are too many people you have to tolerate that you don't like, friends should be a lot more easy to be around and not so much work.
Together we will float like angels.........
In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
By no means was i suprised to see ppl doing drugs, just the one person who had sworn off them and swore to me earlier in the night that he was off them. And every time one of my mates gets on it, he trys to pressure us into it. I know it is his body i know eveything, i've weighed it up several times but when he said "go home I've taken something and i'm going to hang out with these other guys (druggies and not me)' Thats what im pissed off at.
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The reason i could tolerate an 80% stoned crowd ws because i wasnt hanging with them. I'm glad im not ur friend either. And "hurting u in the process" Well depends on ur definition of hurt.
And a drug problem isnt a stupid thing buddy, It is a serious problem affecting society.
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
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EV Sydney 18/03/2011
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Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
I am married to a recovering addict/alcoholic and my friend and I spoke several times over the past 10 years of getting that "call" someday. My heart aches for her. :(
********
I give you credit for standing your ground and not wanting to be around friends who do drugs.
First of all...you should have been hanging out with hot german chick.....
And dont go to raves....
EDIT:
You paid $130 for a ticket to go to a situation where you knew it "wasnt your scene"?
And you knew 80% percent of the people there would be on drugs....and you already knew that your friend is easily influenced....yet you went anyway?
Edit2:
OK, rereading....
I guess I am wondering this.....if you knew before hand it wasnt your scene....and your friend was previously into drugs.....why would you willingly go to it and put him in the position where he had to make that decision....
Isnt that like taking an alcoholic to a bar, and saying...."You said you wouldnt drink!"? Or taking an obese person to a buffet?
I dont understand the story.
Nuclear fission
I hate alcohol!
On the bright side, I was so hungover it really helped me not want to smoke cigs...
I was in a similar situation before where my friend wanted me to meet her friends in Galway and was going on about them for a long long time and they were having a party. I knew they were into the drug thing but it didn't really bother me... TIL I GOT THERE :eek: . I was supposed to be sleeping on the couch (and I'm usually the last one to bed anyway) but whatever they were on (pretty much a mix of a lot of stuff) they were still going at about 10/11am with that fucking pumping music BLARING. It was the music mainly... when you have to listen to that for about 15/16 hours :eek: pure torture. I tried calling hotels to see if there were any rooms and nothing so I was stuck there. I even contemplated calling my father at about 3am to pick me up (he was staying in Galway)... but I just wouldn't do that. But I didn't fall out with my friend over it... it was my fault for going to something that I KNEW I wouldn't enjoy.
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