I can't go out with my friends for the dumbest reason

soulsinging

justam wrote:

GreenTeaDisease, it seems you have been struggling with this weight issue for years. Maybe it would be good to accept yourself at a comfortable weight that won't require you to work-out constantly. Find a happy medium...don't let yourself go...just find a weight you can keep with a reasonable amount of work-outs. Perhaps three or four a week instead of every night? Then you wouldn't be going up and down in size like this!!

ever try to convince a leopard to change its spots? she's addicted to the drama of her weight like a junkie needs his smack.

justam

soulsinging wrote:

ever try to convince a leopard to change its spots? she's addicted to the drama of her weight like a junkie needs his smack.

I think she's still attempting to get her body into some shape it doesn't naturally want to go and it takes a lot of the energy that she probably needs for other things.

GraySaturday

Things like, boyfriends, and grad school, and friends are positive things. Don't get in the habit of feeling like those things are taking up your time to be obsessive about your body. While I have never seen a picture of you, I'm sure that you'd feel a lot better if you cut yourself some slack. Enjoy the things you have in your life. You don't want to get to the point where your body dictates everything you do, and you lose out on events, and things. If you have to work out 2 hours a day 6 days a week and starve yourself, then that is not your natural body weight. Just be healthy..

soulsinging

justam wrote:

I think she's still attempting to get her body into some shape it doesn't naturally want to go and it takes a lot of the energy that she probably needs for other things.

undoubtedly. it's plain as day she has serious body image issues and has for years. they've affected every part of her life, going back to the start of this board she's been talking about this stuff.

writersu

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

long story...used to be psycho about working out- 2 hours 6 days a week and ate practically nothing. went to grad school, got a boyfriend, lived in an autocentric area...basically became not-so-pysco about working out anymore. Plus I screwed around with my medication a bit...working out and eating nothing just became lower on the priority list in grad school.

it makes me feel really bad that I can't get myself to be that kind of good person I used to be.

I haven't really been lazy about getting winter clothes though- i've been more busy and poor.

Hey Green Tea;

Woman to woman here, may I give you this bit of advice? (I will assume you said yes.........)

I was obsessed with weight from the time I was small because my sister was always extremely overweight and loud mouthed, so I use to watch people , kids, make fun of her all of the time. At the same time I use to see her scream at my parents and me all of the time. So, I got this screwed up idea about weight/loudness and what being a girl meant. I wanted to be quiet and skinny. I got my wish and graduated 8th grade at 87 pounds, 5 foot 5 by barely eating. I wore a size 3, had like no color in my face and had no fun because of all of the worry about not eating and working out, like you said.

Ok so I do not want to make this about me, I just wanted to give you background here.

I know that if you don't watch what you eat or don't move to exercise, you gain weight, all of us do if we aren't careful. And sometimes being miserable makes us all want to eat and do nothing.

How about you think about trying to live your life and have fun and maybe your weight issues will just go away themselves? I think people use to be able to stay in shape because they were physically active and too busy to obsess like we do about weight and looks. I know not everyone was slim then but I bet if you don't eat like Britney Spears, (i.e., the cheeto diet) and you don't drink a lot, (drinking makes us all hungry) and go out a lot, walking, being outside, whatever, you will just lose the weight and not be all caught up in it all.

let me know what happens, ok? good luck to you.

and even though I am also concerned about not being flabby, and I try to be reasonably conscious about it all as well, here's a thought;

we usually all die thin, so have fun now..........

writersu

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

long story...used to be psycho about working out- 2 hours 6 days a week and ate practically nothing. went to grad school, got a boyfriend, lived in an autocentric area...basically became not-so-pysco about working out anymore. Plus I screwed around with my medication a bit...working out and eating nothing just became lower on the priority list in grad school.

it makes me feel really bad that I can't get myself to be that kind of good person I used to be.

I haven't really been lazy about getting winter clothes though- i've been more busy and poor.

Hey Green Tea;

Woman to woman here, may I give you this bit of advice? (I will assume you said yes.........)

I was obsessed with weight from the time I was small because my sister was always extremely overweight and loud mouthed, so I use to watch people , kids, make fun of her all of the time. At the same time I use to see her scream at my parents and me all of the time. So, I got this screwed up idea about weight/loudness and what being a girl meant. I wanted to be quiet and skinny. I got my wish and graduated 8th grade at 87 pounds, 5 foot 5 by barely eating. I wore a size 3, had like no color in my face and had no fun because of all of the worry about not eating and working out, like you said.

Ok so I do not want to make this about me, I just wanted to give you background here.

I know that if you don't watch what you eat or don't move to exercise, you gain weight, all of us do if we aren't careful. And sometimes being miserable makes us all want to eat and do nothing.

How about you think about trying to live your life and have fun and maybe your weight issues will just go away themselves? I think people use to be able to stay in shape because they were physically active and too busy to obsess like we do about weight and looks. I know not everyone was slim then but I bet if you don't eat like Britney Spears, (i.e., the cheeto diet) and you don't drink a lot, (drinking makes us all hungry) and go out a lot, walking, being outside, whatever, you will just lose the weight and not be all caught up in it all.

let me know what happens, ok? good luck to you.

and even though I am also concerned about not being flabby, and I try to be reasonably conscious about it all as well, here's a thought;

we usually all die thin, so have fun now..........

GreenTeaDisease

justam wrote:

GreenTeaDisease, it seems you have been struggling with this weight issue for years. Maybe it would be good to accept yourself at a comfortable weight that won't require you to work-out constantly. Find a happy medium...don't let yourself go...just find a weight you can keep with a reasonable amount of work-outs. Perhaps three or four a week instead of every night? Then you wouldn't be going up and down in size like this!!

unfortunately, this is my 3-4 workouts/week size. I just gain fat very very easily, and I'm big boned and big muscled underneath it all, so it looks worse/makes it harder to buy clothes. When I was just a little kid the doctor told me that I have to learn to live with the fact that I have to eat less and exercise more than most people. I'm not really "letting myself go" the way most people would think, i've just let myself go relative to myself. It's not like I get no exercise or eat a lot, I'm pretty normal right now (actually I'm probably better than normal). the problem is, my body does not seem to understand "normal."

my weight doesn't go up and down all that much- well it does in the short term, like day to day it could vary by 5-10 lbs of water-but I mean this is only the second time I've had a drastic change.

Heineken Helen

GraySaturday wrote:

Things like, boyfriends, and grad school, and friends are positive things. Don't get in the habit of feeling like those things are taking up your time to be obsessive about your body. While I have never seen a picture of you, I'm sure that you'd feel a lot better if you cut yourself some slack. Enjoy the things you have in your life. You don't want to get to the point where your body dictates everything you do, and you lose out on events, and things. If you have to work out 2 hours a day 6 days a week and starve yourself, then that is not your natural body weight. Just be healthy..

this is excellent advice... the only time I seem to lose weight is when I'm simply too busy to even think about food. Earlier on this year I had to REMIND myself to eat at about 8pm when I'd realised I hadn't eaten all day... and I love food . It's generally when I'm bored and doing nothing that I eat and smoke. Give yourself stuff to do. That's why I love working near the city centre cos I tend to do more stuff after work rather than just go home. Even if it's just going to the cinema, going shopping, meeting friends for a couple of drinks, just wandering around for a while, go to the beach... whatever! You actually don't need to exercise to lose weight (although I'm sure there's a certain amound of exercise involved in some of those things ) and you end up much happier in yourself too when you're out and about doing stuff. You don't need to be unhappy trying to meet your own demands... cos you're never going to stick to that.

genie

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

long story...used to be psycho about working out- 2 hours 6 days a week and ate practically nothing. went to grad school, got a boyfriend, lived in an autocentric area...basically became not-so-pysco about working out anymore. Plus I screwed around with my medication a bit...working out and eating nothing just became lower on the priority list in grad school.

trying to get back to being pyscho again. today i'm skipping brunch with my friends to get a run in before volunteering. my friends are going to kill me, but I can't help it, I have to start getting my priorities back in order. if it's to the point that my winter jackets don't fit, I definitely have a problem. It's been tough though- for some reason I just don't have the same motivation I used to to hop out of bed at 5:30 and do a killer workout. it makes me feel really bad that I can't get myself to be that kind of good person I used to be.

I've got to volunteer all day today, then I have a cocktail party at my upstairs neighbor's tonight. I'm going to have to wash my one long-sleeved shirt for work tomorrow and PRAY that I don't have to stay too late and will be able to go shopping after work...god I hate shopping! I haven't really been lazy about getting winter clothes though- i've been more busy and poor.

just buy some clothes online. i'm sure if you don't turn up once for your friends party that they'll be ok with that.

GreenTeaDisease

Heineken Helen wrote:

this is excellent advice... the only time I seem to lose weight is when I'm simply too busy to even think about food. Earlier on this year I had to REMIND myself to eat at about 8pm when I'd realised I hadn't eaten all day... and I love food . It's generally when I'm bored and doing nothing that I eat and smoke. Give yourself stuff to do. That's why I love working near the city centre cos I tend to do more stuff after work rather than just go home. Even if it's just going to the cinema, going shopping, meeting friends for a couple of drinks, just wandering around for a while, go to the beach... whatever! You actually don't need to exercise to lose weight (although I'm sure there's a certain amound of exercise involved in some of those things ) and you end up much happier in yourself too when you're out and about doing stuff. You don't need to be unhappy trying to meet your own demands... cos you're never going to stick to that.

Yeah helen, I mean I agree with everyone. I believe in intuitive eating and I do not believe in dieting. And I totally agree with you about living in the city. that's part of how I gained so much weight-my grad school was in North Carolina, in a suburban sprawl area- nothing to do and nowhere to walk. I don't work out just lose weight though. I like being fit and muscular. when you are fit and muscular, you are just going to be more compact and fit in clothes better. and you lose some weight in the process.

I'm trying to figure out where the hell is the best place for me to go buy clothes tonight. I need like a macy's or something with a lot of options and sizes. god, I hated clothes shopping when I was thin! this is nothing but a pain in the ass!

Heineken Helen

well THAT I can't help ya with... but you're gonna need to cheer up a bit before you go shopping or you certainly won't find anything

Good luck and just have fun

justam

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

unfortunately, this is my 3-4 workouts/week size. I just gain fat very very easily, and I'm big boned and big muscled underneath it all, so it looks worse/makes it harder to buy clothes. When I was just a little kid the doctor told me that I have to learn to live with the fact that I have to eat less and exercise more than most people. I'm not really "letting myself go" the way most people would think, i've just let myself go relative to myself. It's not like I get no exercise or eat a lot, I'm pretty normal right now (actually I'm probably better than normal). the problem is, my body does not seem to understand "normal."

my weight doesn't go up and down all that much- well it does in the short term, like day to day it could vary by 5-10 lbs of water-but I mean this is only the second time I've had a drastic change.

Please don't think I meant that you HAD let yourself go. Heavens!

I just meant, be kinder to yourself and accept the weight you are when you are exercising on a reasonable schedule rather than an excessive one.

soulsinging

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

When I was just a little kid the doctor told me that I have to learn to live with the fact that I have to eat less and exercise more than most people.

that's fucked up that your doctor was telling you "you're gonna be a fattie if you don't work twice as hard as everyone else" as a little girl.

GreenTeaDisease

soulsinging wrote:

that's fucked up that your doctor was telling you "you're gonna be a fattie if you don't work twice as hard as everyone else" as a little girl.

I think they just meant that I'm naturally big underneath and have a really slow metabolism to boot. they were right though. I had one of those metabolism tests at the gym a few years ago. I don't think they are very accurate, and I forget how it's measured, but mine basically came back as like dead. Or at least it was shockingly low for someone in as good shape as I was. I also really buy the new idea that's out in the medical world that people have different stomach flora, some of which doesn't process nutrients very well.

JaneNY

I think if you can fit in even some exercise (a reasonable amount, not the 2 hours, 6 days a week that you mentioned) that can help raise your metabolism some. Have you ever had your thyroid checked? If those levels aren't correct peoples' metabolisms can be too low making it hard to control weight. An instructor that teaches with me has this issue, and so did my mother, though I do not.

GreenTeaDisease

JaneNY wrote:

I think if you can fit in even some exercise (a reasonable amount, not the 2 hours, 6 days a week that you mentioned) that can help raise your metabolism some. Have you ever had your thyroid checked? If those levels aren't correct peoples' metabolisms can be too low making it hard to control weight. An instructor that teaches with me has this issue, and so did my mother, though I do not.

oh yeah exercising definitely raises metabolism (and I do still exercise, just more moderately as you mentioned). It just doesn't raise it ENOUGH for me. It's still lower than other people who exercise at the same level. I have my thyroid checked like, all the time, not just because I gain fat so easily, but also because I am always hot and I have trouble waking up, even after plenty of sleep. also I think the doctor once made me get one because of my inability to sit still. doctors always make me get the test. It's always normal though. I have to say, I almost wish it wasn't so it could explain some things about my physiology better. I mean I am ALWAYS sitting right next to people who are FREEZING and grabbing for sweaters, and I'm sweating and shedding layers. and I'll sleep for 9-10 hours, and still practically be in a coma when my alarm goes off.

Get_Right

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

my friends were grabbing drinks tonight at a bar in our neighborhood. I can't go because it's really cold out, and I have no warm clothes or a winter jacket because since last winter I have gained 2 sizes and I haven't had time to go shopping yet! so the only clothes I have that fit are summer clothes. I tried on everything I kept from previous winters, and they are all too small. it is really crappy because I don't think my friends believe me, but I really want to go out! but it's under 30 degrees out and it's a 10 minute walk to the bar, I can't wear a short sleeved tshirt and a light jacket!

your female right?


just checking

GreenTeaDisease

well I just went to the GAP nextdoor and got $200 worth of sweaters and long-sleeved tshirts. I am going to need some pants at some point though...I don't think it's very professional to show up to work wearing just a sweater.

norm

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

oh yeah exercising definitely raises metabolism (and I do still exercise, just more moderately as you mentioned). It just doesn't raise it ENOUGH for me. It's still lower than other people who exercise at the same level. I have my thyroid checked like, all the time, not just because I gain fat so easily, but also because I am always hot and I have trouble waking up, even after plenty of sleep. also I think the doctor once made me get one because of my inability to sit still. doctors always make me get the test. It's always normal though. I have to say, I almost wish it wasn't so it could explain some things about my physiology better. I mean I am ALWAYS sitting right next to people who are FREEZING and grabbing for sweaters, and I'm sweating and shedding layers. and I'll sleep for 9-10 hours, and still practically be in a coma when my alarm goes off.

you should go to a endocrinologist....i'm hypothyroid and everything you've said leads me to believe you might be also.....the average test doctors give to test your thyroid will most likely say your thyroid is normal....see a specialist....:)

rival.

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

well I just went to the GAP nextdoor and got $200 worth of sweaters and long-sleeved tshirts. I am going to need some pants at some point though...I don't think it's very professional to show up to work wearing just a sweater.

.....or the bar!