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Am i a nagging husband/partner/b/f.etc

monster95monster95 Posts: 127
edited July 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
As a kinda continuance to the "nagging wife,anyone" thread
has anyone got a wife/partner/g/f who just refuses to listen at all !!!!
e.g.
my other half promised that after the kids got to school age she'd go back to work..which i thought..happy days. so for the past 10 years the financial burden has been on me.
now the kids have been at school this past number of years and am tired working round the f'ing clock for soo long i thought i'd bring the issue up.
but will she get up of her backside now to help my(our)financial situation? nope.i've talked explained argued ranted..huffed..you name it ..no good!
sometimes..i just wanna give up !


or in most cases...blast some PJ and forget my troubles.....then she nags about the music too........fuuuuuuuuuuck!!
I plan to live forever.so far so good !
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • CityMouseCityMouse Posts: 1,010
    monster95 wrote:
    sometimes..i just wanna give up !


    or in most cases...blast some PJ and forget my troubles.....then she nags about the music too........fuuuuuuuuuuck!!

    then give up.
    this is why god created divorce.

    if you're this unhappy, why bother?
  • Stone Is GodStone Is God Posts: 1,331
    monster95 wrote:
    As a kinda continuance to the "nagging wife,anyone" thread
    has anyone got a wife/partner/g/f who just refuses to listen at all !!!!
    e.g.
    my other half promised that after the kids got to school age she'd go back to work..which i thought..happy days. so for the past 10 years the financial burden has been on me.
    now the kids have been at school this past number of years and am tired working round the f'ing clock for soo long i thought i'd bring the issue up.
    but will she get up of her backside now to help my(our)financial situation? nope.i've talked explained argued ranted..huffed..you name it ..no good!
    sometimes..i just wanna give up !


    or in most cases...blast some PJ and forget my troubles.....then she nags about the music too........fuuuuuuuuuuck!!

    This would be a problem with me. If you're not contributing to the cause, you're taking away from it. It''d be pretty funny, one day, when she went out for a while and came home to find all the locks changed. You want a new key, find a job.
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me.
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    ouch.

    perhaps counseling would be a good idea to vent these frustrations between you if conversation on your own doesn't help. there really isn't much else to do.....work it out....or present an ultimatum? she may have a lot of fears returning to work, not all rooted in laziness. as to the music, again....mutual respect for each other's interests, always a good thing. i'd go with counseling if you wish to salvage your marriage AND get her to go back to work.


    good luck!
    such situations are never easy!
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    I'm of the belief that marriage is a partnership. Hubby and wife are a team...and should be on the same side...whether it's involving finances, child-rearing, or who takes out the garbage (him!).

    That being said...I've never been married...and apparently contributed to getting the other thread locked. I suck. :(
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Oh, this is nothing a bj couldn't...

    Oh wait. Nevermind. I didn't say anything.
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  • saveuplifesaveuplife Posts: 1,173
    monster95 wrote:
    As a kinda continuance to the "nagging wife,anyone" thread
    has anyone got a wife/partner/g/f who just refuses to listen at all !!!!
    e.g.
    my other half promised that after the kids got to school age she'd go back to work..which i thought..happy days. so for the past 10 years the financial burden has been on me.
    now the kids have been at school this past number of years and am tired working round the f'ing clock for soo long i thought i'd bring the issue up.
    but will she get up of her backside now to help my(our)financial situation? nope.i've talked explained argued ranted..huffed..you name it ..no good!
    sometimes..i just wanna give up !


    or in most cases...blast some PJ and forget my troubles.....then she nags about the music too........fuuuuuuuuuuck!!

    Obviously, I'm not one to give advice. I've learned in the last thread that I'm not necessarily supposed to anyway.

    So, I'll try what I just learned.... I'm sorry to hear that. That b-lows.
  • The ChampThe Champ Posts: 4,063
    saveuplife wrote:
    Obviously, I'm not one to give advice. I've learned in the last thread that I'm not necessarily supposed to anyway.

    So, I'll try what I just learned.... I'm sorry to hear that. That b-lows.

    We all learned a lot in that thread ;)..
    'I want to hurry home to you
    put on a slow, dumb show for you
    and crack you up
    so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
    god I'm very, very frightening
    and I'll overdo it'
  • TrixieCatTrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    AmentsChick wrote:
    I'm of the belief that marriage is a partnership. Hubby and wife are a team...and should be on the same side...whether it's involving finances, child-rearing, or who takes out the garbage (him!).

    That being said...I've never been married...and apparently contributed to getting the other thread locked. I suck. :(
    I take the garbage out here most of the time.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    AmentsChick wrote:
    I'm of the belief that marriage is a partnership. Hubby and wife are a team...and should be on the same side...whether it's involving finances, child-rearing, or who takes out the garbage (him!).

    That being said...I've never been married...and apparently contributed to getting the other thread locked. I suck. :(


    GOOD JOB ruining the fun lol
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    monster95 wrote:
    As a kinda continuance to the "nagging wife,anyone" thread
    has anyone got a wife/partner/g/f who just refuses to listen at all !!!!
    e.g.
    my other half promised that after the kids got to school age she'd go back to work..which i thought..happy days. so for the past 10 years the financial burden has been on me.
    now the kids have been at school this past number of years and am tired working round the f'ing clock for soo long i thought i'd bring the issue up.
    but will she get up of her backside now to help my(our)financial situation? nope.i've talked explained argued ranted..huffed..you name it ..no good!
    sometimes..i just wanna give up !


    or in most cases...blast some PJ and forget my troubles.....then she nags about the music too........fuuuuuuuuuuck!!
    thats retarded. why should she get to stay home & not worry about stuff? I always get trash talk for this but.......when u get married isnt it a shared deal? Like a partnership? A business Deal? TEAM WORK!!!! What is WITH chicks these days. Dude, blast some Pearl Jam & forget stuff like u want to. If SHE wants to drown u out she'll probably go in the room and slam the door AND SHE WONT EVEN HAVE GOOD TUNES ON!!!! :eek:
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

    "Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95

    It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    TrixieCat wrote:
    I take the garbage out here most of the time.


    hey u woke up from your nap? ;)
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    TrixieCat wrote:
    I take the garbage out here most of the time.
    GO TC!!! LOL! You're a better woman than me, that's for sure!

    I do it...but only because there's no man around. I'm having it written into the marriage contract that I will do laundry if he takes out the trash. It's the WORST chore...ICK!
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • monster95monster95 Posts: 127
    why bother? someone said? cos i got a nice house kids car. and am fucked if am gonna throw all that away just to start again ! ha! if the other half is quite nice ! its just this one issue...i've tried everything with her on this issue..and fuck all works ! dont need a counsellor to tell me(us) whats goin on ..she knows! and knows the soloution too!!! it just doesnt sink into her thick skull..thats the problem !!!
    i've spent sooo much of my time at work these past few years..i took a weeks vacation this week...just to sit at home chill out..get some beers down my neck...music/dvds etc.....sad thing is...am bored i actually miss work !!!
    I plan to live forever.so far so good !
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    monster95 wrote:
    why bother? someone said? cos i got a nice house kids car. and am fucked if am gonna throw all that away just to start again ! ha! if the other half is quite nice ! its just this one issue...i've tried everything with her on this issue..and fuck all works ! dont need a counsellor to tell me(us) whats goin on ..she knows! and knows the soloution too!!! it just doesnt sink into her thick skull..thats the problem !!!
    i've spent sooo much of my time at work these past few years..i took a weeks vacation this week...just to sit at home chill out..get some beers down my neck...music/dvds etc.....sad thing is...am bored i actually miss work !!!

    Yeah, I saw that...I wasn't going to address it because, while divorce is clearing the answer to some miserable marriages, it is quite often the easy way out.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • TrixieCatTrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    NY PJ1 wrote:
    hey u woke up from your nap? ;)
    wakey, wakey
    eggs and bakey
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    TrixieCat wrote:
    wakey, wakey
    eggs and bakey


    hehe
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    monster95 wrote:
    why bother? someone said? cos i got a nice house kids car. and am fucked if am gonna throw all that away just to start again ! ha! if the other half is quite nice ! its just this one issue...i've tried everything with her on this issue..and fuck all works ! dont need a counsellor to tell me(us) whats goin on ..she knows! and knows the soloution too!!! it just doesnt sink into her thick skull..thats the problem !!!
    i've spent sooo much of my time at work these past few years..i took a weeks vacation this week...just to sit at home chill out..get some beers down my neck...music/dvds etc.....sad thing is...am bored i actually miss work !!!


    you know...she knows...yet still no change. if you want the change, that's where counseling could be a help. that's the only reason i mentioned it. as i said, there may be more to it than her simply 'avoiding work'...but also a lot of insecurites and fears if she's been out of the job market a long while. perhaps career counseling for her would help? or perhaps you could do some research, help her along, be supportive? the only way i would consider any of it 'nagging' is if you just continually tell her she needs to get a job, but offer up no soutions/support to help her get back out there. for the last 10 years her 'job' has been mother/caretaker.....it's a big adjustment swithcing roles again. and if all your supportiveness still falls on deaf ears, this is why i suggest counseling. that's all.


    good luck.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • monster95monster95 Posts: 127
    RANT over !!!!
    sorry Jammers...just needed to rant at someone/anyone/anything !!
    Beer time ....and a neil young cd to listen too !
    I plan to live forever.so far so good !
  • saveuplifesaveuplife Posts: 1,173
    monster95 wrote:
    RANT over !!!!
    sorry Jammers...just needed to rant at someone/anyone/anything !!
    Beer time ....and a neil young cd to listen too !


    Drink a Beamish for me, bro. God, I miss that beer. Work sux.
  • monster95monster95 Posts: 127
    decides2dream wrote:
    you know...she knows...yet still no change. if you want the change, that's where counseling could be a help. that's the only reason i mentioned it. as i said, there may be more to it than her simply 'avoiding work'...but also a lot of insecurites and fears if she's been out of the job market a long while. perhaps career counseling for her would help? or perhaps you could do some research, help her along, be supportive? the only way i would consider any of it 'nagging' is if you just continually tell her she needs to get a job, but offer up no soutions/support to help her get back out there. for the last 10 years her 'job' has been mother/caretaker.....it's a big adjustment swithcing roles again. and if all your supportiveness still falls on deaf ears, this is why i suggest counseling. that's all.


    good luck.
    played the supportive partner me ! asking what she'd like to do..what hours..i could cut back at work to help out (like i used too do anyways) but........
    duhhh !!!!!! nothing
    I plan to live forever.so far so good !
  • KatKat Posts: 4,907
    Do some accounts need to be permanently read-only because they can't stop derailing threads and won't use PMs for private conversations?

    Admin
    Falling down,...not staying down
  • monster95monster95 Posts: 127
    saveuplife wrote:
    Drink a Beamish for me, bro. God, I miss that beer. Work sux.
    beamish man??? nahhh get the real stuff into ya...guinness ! i'll have a few of those for ya !
    I plan to live forever.so far so good !
  • CityMouseCityMouse Posts: 1,010
    monster95 wrote:
    why bother? someone said? cos i got a nice house kids car. and am fucked if am gonna throw all that away just to start again ! ha! if the other half is quite nice ! its just this one issue...i've tried everything with her on this issue..and fuck all works ! dont need a counsellor to tell me(us) whats goin on ..she knows! and knows the soloution too!!! it just doesnt sink into her thick skull..thats the problem !!!
    i've spent sooo much of my time at work these past few years..i took a weeks vacation this week...just to sit at home chill out..get some beers down my neck...music/dvds etc.....sad thing is...am bored i actually miss work !!!

    well, I didn't say anything about getting rid of your kids, lol. just seems like if you are going to make the choice to be someone, there should be a reason for it, not just because you feel obligated. I agree with the people who said that when you enter into marriage it's like a business partnership. it really is. plus, you make a commitment. You can't back out on things you promised to do. if there was some reason why she suddenly couldn't work that's fine...but really, backing out on someone close to you like that is just no-no.
  • monster95monster95 Posts: 127
    ur right CityMouse !
    I plan to live forever.so far so good !
  • SwanSwan Posts: 350
    i think the whole thing is made up.
    I'm the only Hell Mama ever raised.
  • monster95monster95 Posts: 127
    Swan wrote:
    i think the whole thing is made up.
    If only!!!
    I plan to live forever.so far so good !
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    decides2dream wrote:
    you know...she knows...yet still no change. if you want the change, that's where counseling could be a help. that's the only reason i mentioned it. as i said, there may be more to it than her simply 'avoiding work'...but also a lot of insecurites and fears if she's been out of the job market a long while. perhaps career counseling for her would help? or perhaps you could do some research, help her along, be supportive? the only way i would consider any of it 'nagging' is if you just continually tell her she needs to get a job, but offer up no soutions/support to help her get back out there. for the last 10 years her 'job' has been mother/caretaker.....it's a big adjustment swithcing roles again. and if all your supportiveness still falls on deaf ears, this is why i suggest counseling. that's all.


    good luck.
    Excellent post! OP you're saying you've tried what you know to try... it's not working. You're resorting to talking about her thick skull and calling her lazy and stuff. This is not going to end well unless you take it a step further and ask somebody... oh you've done that :) so why not ask somebody who's qualified to help you. Counselling is all too often brushed aside until it gets to the point where even the mere sight of her makes you angry and you can't bear to be in the same room as her... and then it's too late.
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  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    Swan wrote:
    i think the whole thing is made up.
    like the stolen picture thread??!! :eek:
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

    "Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95

    It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
  • CityMouseCityMouse Posts: 1,010
    I forgot to comment on this earlier:

    whose wife complains about music??? Are you sure this is your wife and not your grandma?
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