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What do you do..

No Fear Of FallingNo Fear Of Falling Posts: 419
edited March 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
Sorry for the long post, but this one is a doozie..

What do you do when someone in your group of friends is headed for a psycotic breakdown, and could be very dangerous.. but your the only one who can see it?

I posted a few months back about someone who I called my friend that ended up beating his girlfriend.

Her and I had a brief moment, but that was all it was. We have remained good friends. In fact, her and 3 of her friends are coming to Bonnaroo with myself and 3 of my friends.

However, the ex boyfriend hasn't stopped. Slowly but surely all of his friends have cut him off (except one) because since the break up, he has done nothing but use us. He doesn't give a fuck about anyone but the girl, and uses anyone to his advantage to try to advance his situation with her.

Every time I see him, "Hey so hows Christine?" is all he has to say. Meanwhile, he sends her text messages and calls her every day.

He has stalked her house, climbed her balcony, done some really crazy shit.
A few days ago, he sent her 2 text messages saying "I just want you to know how happy I am without you and im moving on with my life and i want nothing to do with you, but, if you need to talk or want to hang out or be friends you can call me".

This was followed by another. The next text had a picture of the 2 of them, with the text "Dont worry baby, the man you fell in love with is here and not going anywhere im back baby dont worry".

Yesterday, 2 of my friends went by her house for a quick smoking session. Psyco was stalking the house, and saw them walking up the driveway. An hour or so later, he was calling one of them with questions like "Was the apartment clean?", "Did she miss me? she misses me right?", "Was she getting ready for work?", really really sick shit.

Fast foward to when she gets out of work, he is there waiting for her. She finally tells him "Listen.. Im so fucking over you and I dont give a shit about you. Im hooking up with John". (John is a friend of mine who she has been hooking up with for 2 weeks). He then flipped his lid.

Honestly, people keep saying "wow, Gary really snapped out". I dont agree. I think hes just crazy, and hes GOING TO snap out, and it makes me very nervous. Not sure what to do, because when I talk to people it's like talking to a wall.
2004 - 10/1, 10/11
2005 - 9/15, 9/16, 9/30, 10/1, 10/3
2006 - 5/5, 5/12, 5/13, 5/27, 5/28, 5/30, 6/1, 6/3, 6/23, 7/22, 7/23, 12/2
2007 - 6/27, 8/3
2008 - 6/14, 6/19, 6/20, 6/22, 6/24, 6/25, 6/27, 6/28, 6/30, 7/1
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    shit, this is like when a guy kills his ex girlfriend and then himself and you read these kinds of stories in the paper about what he was like beforehand. I really don't know what you should do but you should definitely do something.
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    someone should step in and do something b4 its gets outta hand

    the staten island crew might have to give him a few cracks in the mouth
  • PureandEasyPureandEasy Posts: 5,800
    Did she file a complaint with the police when he beat her?

    It sounds to me as though the girl in this situation is the only one that can do anything. If she feels she is being stalked, and it sounds as though she is, she should notify the police immediately.

    Your only recourse is to keep a close eye on her. I don't see what else you can do.
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    have you tried asking him what the fuck he's playing at? :o
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • Kilgore_TroutKilgore_Trout Posts: 7,334
    definitely a slippery slope... but deserving of attention... theres nothing you can really say to this guy to make him feel any different... and if hes as psychotic as you say id advise against it since it might mean you'd get hurt too... just keep a close eye on the situation and keep the girl out of harms way as best you can... might be a good idea to call the authorities or place a restraining order at some point...
    "Senza speme vivemo in disio"

    http://seanbriceart.com/
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    either beat him or get a restraining order for the girl
  • eMMIeMMI Posts: 6,262
    NY PJ1 wrote:
    either beat him or get a restraining order for the girl

    no offense but how would beating him up do any good whatsoever?

    guess all there's to do is keep an eye on the situation and the girl should definitely contact the authorities.
    "Don't be faint-hearted, I have a solution! We shall go and commandeer some small craft, then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place for our waterside supper with riparian entertainments."
  • lalalalaaaaaaaalalalalaaaaaaaa Posts: 2,445
    If you're seriously the only one in your group of friends who can see that this guy is nuts, I'd stay away from all of them including the girl. If she hasn't reported him yet, she's a fool.
  • No Fear Of FallingNo Fear Of Falling Posts: 419
    Its totally a weird situation, and yes, she had a restraining order. Not sure if it is still in effect.

    I told her plenty of times that the ball is in her court, and at this point its all up to her. She has to go through the proper channels (police report, restraining order, change locks/numbers/email).. but, alas, you can lead a horse to water..

    Its just a horrible thing to sit here and watch just knowing exactily what the outcome will be, but it seems nobody can see it but me.
    2004 - 10/1, 10/11
    2005 - 9/15, 9/16, 9/30, 10/1, 10/3
    2006 - 5/5, 5/12, 5/13, 5/27, 5/28, 5/30, 6/1, 6/3, 6/23, 7/22, 7/23, 12/2
    2007 - 6/27, 8/3
    2008 - 6/14, 6/19, 6/20, 6/22, 6/24, 6/25, 6/27, 6/28, 6/30, 7/1
  • No Fear Of FallingNo Fear Of Falling Posts: 419
    Saturnal wrote:
    If you're seriously the only one in your group of friends who can see that this guy is nuts, I'd stay away from all of them including the girl. If she hasn't reported him yet, she's a fool.

    Everyone sees that he is nuts (except for this 1 who is just a jackass himself), however none of them realize to the extent. I grew up with a father just like this guy, which is why i know exactily how this story ends. Nobody seems to think its that bad though.

    When you break up in August, and your stalking her out in March.. you've got issues. I feel like im in psycoville and ray finkle is the mayor.
    2004 - 10/1, 10/11
    2005 - 9/15, 9/16, 9/30, 10/1, 10/3
    2006 - 5/5, 5/12, 5/13, 5/27, 5/28, 5/30, 6/1, 6/3, 6/23, 7/22, 7/23, 12/2
    2007 - 6/27, 8/3
    2008 - 6/14, 6/19, 6/20, 6/22, 6/24, 6/25, 6/27, 6/28, 6/30, 7/1
  • know1know1 Posts: 6,794
    No Fear Of Falling wrote:
    Its totally a weird situation, and yes, she had a restraining order. Not sure if it is still in effect.

    I told her plenty of times that the ball is in her court, and at this point its all up to her. She has to go through the proper channels (police report, restraining order, change locks/numbers/email).. but, alas, you can lead a horse to water..

    Its just a horrible thing to sit here and watch just knowing exactily what the outcome will be, but it seems nobody can see it but me.

    She needs to enforce the restraining order. It's kind of a no-brainer.
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

    Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    if nothing else, try to make sure she is never alone until the situation is resolved....
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    eMMI wrote:
    no offense but how would beating him up do any good whatsoever?

    guess all there's to do is keep an eye on the situation and the girl should definitely contact the authorities.

    well talks and restraining orders seem to be doing no good

    so i figure b4 he does something to her

    he might need a good lesson taught to him (followed by a stay the kcuf away or else talk )

    i guess its my nyc mentality
  • eMMIeMMI Posts: 6,262
    NY PJ1 wrote:
    well talks and restraining orders seem to be doing no good

    so i figure b4 he does something to her

    he might need a good lesson taught to him (followed by a stay the kcuf away or else talk )

    i guess its my nyc mentality

    worst case scenario, getting beat up sends him "over the edge" and he goes more mad than he was to begin with. hardly any good.

    also the person beating him up wouldn't be a "hero", mainly just as much of an arse as the guy he beats up, if you ask me.
    "Don't be faint-hearted, I have a solution! We shall go and commandeer some small craft, then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place for our waterside supper with riparian entertainments."
  • moxiemoxie Posts: 80
    I'm pretty confident if a guy did that shit to me, I would just solve the situation with a baseball bat to his knee caps and balls.

    Then a restraining order.

    Seriously, though, she needs a restraining order.
    I have dogs instead of children... I'd rather ruin my carpet than my life.
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    eMMI wrote:
    worst case scenario, getting beat up sends him "over the edge" and he goes more mad than he was to begin with. hardly any good.

    also the person beating him up wouldn't be a "hero", mainly just as much of an arse as the guy he beats up, if you ask me.


    fair enough but maybe it will knock sense into him?
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    moxie wrote:
    I'm pretty confident if a guy did that shit to me, I would just solve the situation with a baseball bat to his knee caps and balls.

    Then a restraining order.

    Seriously, though, she needs a restraining order.


    thats what im saying
  • eMMIeMMI Posts: 6,262
    NY PJ1 wrote:
    fair enough but maybe it will knock sense into him?

    and what if it doesn't? and what if he knows people who'll beat others up?

    violence is not the fecking solution.
    "Don't be faint-hearted, I have a solution! We shall go and commandeer some small craft, then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place for our waterside supper with riparian entertainments."
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    eMMI wrote:
    and what if it doesn't? and what if he knows people who'll beat others up?

    violence is not the fecking solution.


    i hate to say it but this guy is gonna do something he is obviously out of his mind

    someone needs to do something

    i just hope it works out for all
  • eMMIeMMI Posts: 6,262
    NY PJ1 wrote:
    i hate to say it but this guy is gonna do something he is obviously out of his mind

    someone needs to do something

    i just hope it works out for all

    how many cases do you know when someone who's outta their mind has gotten better or decided against doing something crazy after getting beaten up?

    yes, someone really needs to do something, but beating him up? is honestly hardly a good idea.

    I think we all hope it works for the best for everyone. :)
    "Don't be faint-hearted, I have a solution! We shall go and commandeer some small craft, then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place for our waterside supper with riparian entertainments."
  • josevolutionjosevolution Posts: 29,573
    well if the OP knows this lunatic he/she should just have a fucking serius talk with the person in ?? like "hey wtf are you doing are you ok or what cause the way your acting is really way off the charts" or talk to the girls parents if she has any and make them aware of this phycho who is acting up ,you better act on this fast don't let this guy take the next step in this matter ......
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
  • DerrickDerrick Posts: 475
    No chick is worth wasting six months of your life pawning over. Tell him to get a fucking life and he could have dated four girls in the time he wasted on Christine.

    You're only young once...may as go after girls who ACTUALLY LIKE YOU.
  • No Fear Of FallingNo Fear Of Falling Posts: 419
    Just got back from her house on my lunch break, we're going to the police after I get out of work.

    Right now, her best friend is there with her making sure everything is ok.

    Thanks for all your suggestions, guys.. This forum is a good place to get advice from people who have no personal attachment to anyone involved. I love un-biased opinions.
    2004 - 10/1, 10/11
    2005 - 9/15, 9/16, 9/30, 10/1, 10/3
    2006 - 5/5, 5/12, 5/13, 5/27, 5/28, 5/30, 6/1, 6/3, 6/23, 7/22, 7/23, 12/2
    2007 - 6/27, 8/3
    2008 - 6/14, 6/19, 6/20, 6/22, 6/24, 6/25, 6/27, 6/28, 6/30, 7/1
  • moxiemoxie Posts: 80
    She also should get a gun. Not to kill him... not intentionally, anyway... but so that if he comes around bothering her again she can shoot him in the balls.

    See if I were her, I wouldn't want to end his life, but I would want to get him where it really hurts and so that he'll always remember what a huge mistake he made messing with me.
    I have dogs instead of children... I'd rather ruin my carpet than my life.
  • Kilgore_TroutKilgore_Trout Posts: 7,334
    moxie wrote:
    She also should get a gun. Not to kill him... not intentionally, anyway... but so that if he comes around bothering her again she can shoot him in the balls.

    See if I were her, I wouldn't want to end his life, but I would want to get him where it really hurts and so that he'll always remember what a huge mistake he made messing with me.
    ever see the movie "hard candy"? :D
    "Senza speme vivemo in disio"

    http://seanbriceart.com/
  • moxiemoxie Posts: 80
    sgossard3 wrote:
    ever see the movie "hard candy"? :D

    no
    I have dogs instead of children... I'd rather ruin my carpet than my life.
  • Kilgore_TroutKilgore_Trout Posts: 7,334
    moxie wrote:
    no
    its got ellen page from juno... dealing with a child molester kindof the way you suggest dealing with this individual... good flick... check it out
    "Senza speme vivemo in disio"

    http://seanbriceart.com/
  • Flannel ShirtFlannel Shirt Posts: 1,021
    those two text messages you posted scream "I am really fucked up".

    if the dude is stalking her house, you can call the cops and get a restraining order. they will partol the neighborhood and keep a lookout for this creep.
    All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    eMMI wrote:
    how many cases do you know when someone who's outta their mind has gotten better or decided against doing something crazy after getting beaten up?

    yes, someone really needs to do something, but beating him up? is honestly hardly a good idea.

    I think we all hope it works for the best for everyone. :)
    well the opposite also applies I'm afraid... how many cases of stalking gone terribly wrong have you read that she had him beaten up recently? It's not something that pops up often so you could also deduce that perhaps some tragedies have been prevented by this method.

    sounds like the OP is doing the right thing though :) . You're a pretty good friend to have.
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    eMMI wrote:
    how many cases do you know when someone who's outta their mind has gotten better or decided against doing something crazy after getting beaten up?

    yes, someone really needs to do something, but beating him up? is honestly hardly a good idea.

    I think we all hope it works for the best for everyone. :)

    and sometimes violence is the only thing some people understand. im not saying it's right, i'm just saying. :)
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
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