I found a few pieces of myself today...

CHANGEinWAVES

It's incredible, a few months ago I asked here "how do you find yourself" and there was so much great advice, though, I still felt it couldn't happen... seemed too far from what I knew, or didn't know for that matter.


Today...... I found a few pieces of ME!:D
(ok maybe not the best wording, but you know what I mean)


#1. After a few years of planning with the soon to be ex on where to move to so we don't have to experience snow and cold weather any longer, today I found that I LOVE the snow and cold weather! I guess I just wanted him to be happy. I love everything about being cold... preferably what it takes to GET warm:D hot liquids, soups and stews, fires, snuggling, layers, blankets, hats, gloves and scarves (even mittens),coming in from the cold and that first feeling of warmth that feels like extreme happiness and so much more. I love the SNOW.... i love playing in it, shoveling it (yes i actually do!), snowballs, driving in it, the way it falls on your face, the way it makes the night sky look, the way it makes the air feel, they way it makes it look like you are doing "warp speed" when you drive:p, the way it can make even the crappiest of areas look like a beautiful winter "wonderland". I am so glad I didn't move away from the cold and snow for him (though I would of)... I enjoy it and it puts a smile on my face.


#2. All my life I was raised "Catholic". I use quotations because I use the word very loosely. Raised to believe Jesus was the son of God and so on and so forth...no questions asked. Then I met my (soon to be ex) husband, he was a born again Christian... believe it or not! It went back and forth for us... he liked me but couldn't date me cause I wasn't 'born again'...blah, blah,blah.... we'd date, he'd end it over guilt..blah, blah, blah this happened for a few months... and I think I made it my mission to date him because of the "struggle" I was faced with. Then his father passed away and we just started doing the church thing together, I think he assumed I was 'saved' and I didn't wanna bring it up since he'd dumped me in the past for that reason. Any HOOOOO.... my point is..... I adapted HIS beliefs that just meshed with my parents beliefs..... together he and I separated from church (probably cause we preferred sleeping in on Sundays;)).... but the beliefs stayed around, maybe because I was too lazy to re-evaluate them at the time. Well I actually started to think for myself on the matter.... and I am content, more so, HAPPY with what I've found with in myself. I am NOT Catholic, I am NOT Christian.... I am NOT religious. I have faith in something... but there is no son of God for me.... Maybe this path/ decision is wrong by OTHERS standards.... but for ME it feels SOOOO right! I have no religion, I just have faith. So what I'm saying is.... I renounce religion.



These thoughts are how I feel... so please don't think I'm trying to impose them on anyone.
I have finally stopped to think about MYSELF for once, and it feels great!!!!!!

****ALSO: thanks to everyone who has been supportive... I'm coming out of the fog... slowly.

South of Seattle

Welcome aboard.

I am both numbers 1 and 2

CHANGEinWAVES

South of Seattle wrote:

Welcome aboard.

I am both numbers 1 and 2

thanks:)
it feels good to have made my OWN decisions on the matters:D

South of Seattle

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

thanks:)
it feels good to have made my OWN decisions on the matters:D

Exactly. Luckily I have always been able to make my own decisions. It's easier to live with yourself that way.

CHANGEinWAVES

South of Seattle wrote:

Exactly. Luckily I have always been able to make my own decisions. It's easier to live with yourself that way.

I always thought I did....
turns out, my decisions were to make others happy with what I decided!

haffajappa

well done you

ps-- haha, warp speed...
you ahfto make starwars noises when you drive through it tho...
or spaceballs and yell LUDICROUS speed!

CHANGEinWAVES

doin'the-evolution wrote:

you ahfto make starwars noises when you drive through it tho...
or spaceballs and yell LUDICROUS speed!

who says I don't already do that??!!!

haffajappa

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

who says I don't already do that??!!!

i'd expect nothing less!

catefrances

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

who says I don't already do that??!!!

we all do that.

corduroid

I love the clarity and joy ... the jubilation ... of your writing. It's such an empowering awareness, isn't it? That paradigms and 'learned' thoughts/behaviors can be shed, sometimes well into adulthood, sometimes via treacherous fire, and that "you" are present enough to emerge.

This awakening, deeply spiritual and certainly non-religious, is the enlightenment sought by so many on so many different paths. These are the gifts of true beauty within. When you feel it in fleeting snow, you are there

Look up into a soft falling snow,
you may see stars

Listen to a soft falling snow,
you may hear silence

And know the timeless beauty
of all

CHANGEinWAVES

corduroid wrote:

I love the clarity and joy ... the jubilation ... of your writing. It's such an empowering awareness, isn't it? That paradigms and 'learned' thoughts/behaviors can be shed, sometimes well into adulthood, sometimes via treacherous fire, and that "you" are present enough to emerge.

This awakening, deeply spiritual and certainly non-religious, is the enlightenment sought by so many on so many different paths. These are the gifts of true beauty within. When you feel it in fleeting snow, you are there

Look up into a soft falling snow,
you may see stars

Listen to a soft falling snow,
you may hear silence

And know the timeless beauty
of all

it's beautiful, I may think of this next time I feel the snow on my face:)
thanks!

iluvcats

I am a Presbyterian Christian and I'm married to a Catholic.

I am glad you found yourself.

CHANGEinWAVES

iluvcats wrote:

I am glad you found yourself.

Thanks:) there's still pleanty of me to look for though:)