Mid Life Crisis

lukin2006

Mostly for the over 35 crowd. Do you believe in a mid life crisis? Going through/been through mid life crisis? If so, how did you handle?

Jeanie

Yeah, I believe in it. I'll get back to you on how I handle it.

kenshunt

It's a great song by Faith No More

KosmicJelli

Hang on and welcome the ride..... think ive been through like 4 now... haha

decides2dream

beemster wrote:

Mostly for the over 35 crowd. Do you believe in a mid life crisis? Going through/been through mid life crisis? If so, how did you handle?

yes. i also think it happens way earlier than 50....or perhaps it happens more than once?! :eek: my husband definitely had *something* along the lines of a mid-life issue around age 34. why 34? who the hell knows. i don't think i've had my *crisis* just yet, maybe i won't....but i definitely believe they happen. whether it's the idea of facing your own mortality, or realizing your life path is pretty well chosen, seeing the direction of your life, seeing all that scaring you.......whatever. the only way to 'handle it' imo...is simply to acknowledge it, and yes...try not to do anything too stupid, irriversible...that will hurt your loved ones.

GreenTeaDisease

consider that about 6-7 years ago I went through the worst *quarter* life crisis ever, I definitely believe in the mid, and not looking forward to it!

Actually, I seem to have "post school" crises. I kinda feel the same way now, after finishing grad school as I did when I finished college. I think I just need to be school forever!

FinsburyParkCarrots

Nope. I play gigs on the bill with a load of 19 year olds, and they seem way more fucked up than I am, at 35. They talk about shit like bills, and credit, and the future. When I was 19, I was just making sure the squares of blotting paper were double dipped.

wolfbear

decides2dream wrote:

yes. i also think it happens way earlier than 50....or perhaps it happens more than once?! :eek: my husband definitely had *something* along the lines of a mid-life issue around age 34. why 34? who the hell knows. i don't think i've had my *crisis* just yet, maybe i won't....but i definitely believe they happen. whether it's the idea of facing your own mortality, or realizing your life path is pretty well chosen, seeing the direction of your life, seeing all that scaring you.......whatever. the only way to 'handle it' imo...is simply to acknowledge it, and yes...try not to do anything too stupid, irriversible...that will hurt your loved ones.

I agree with D2D on this. I believe it does happen, but it doesn't happen to everyone. I know it didn't to us. I totally agree with her way to 'handle it' as well.

mbangel10

kenshunt wrote:

It's a great song by Faith No More

I've been on an FNM kick lately, and that song is one of my favorites!

Brain of J.Lo

I don't think I'm focused enough on the future to ever possibly have a crisis of this sort. I've spent most of my life just bobbing along in the water and taking life as it comes, and I imagine I'll continue to do so.

Either that, or I'll realize that I've pissed so much time away and that I need to start focusing on something right now or else!!!! :eek: :eek:

GreenTeaDisease

Brain of J.Lo wrote:

Either that, or I'll realize that I've pissed so much time away and that I need to start focusing on something right now or else!!!! :eek: :eek:

this is my problem!

_

At 31, I can't decide whether I'm currently going through a mid-life crisis or a late adolescence....

LONGRD

kenshunt wrote:

It's a great song by Faith No More

Your menstruating bleeding hearts
it bleeds enough for two

lukin2006

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

this is my problem!

my problem as well.

decides2dream

beemster wrote:

my problem as well.

or else....what?
you'll think/feel like you pissed your life away? wasn't worthwhile?
or.........
you lived and enjoyed today, let life take you where it may. it's all choice. even not making choices...is a 'choice.'

it IS all state of mind.
perspective.

boxwine_in_hell

beemster wrote:

Mostly for the over 35 crowd. Do you believe in a mid life crisis? Going through/been through mid life crisis? If so, how did you handle?

I'll resist the urge to make a joke here, so I'll get a little deep on you. I'm 38 and as near as I can tell a mid life crisis is basically coming to terms with your own mortality. As you start to age, be married for several years, have children and start a family I think you start to wonder...."Is this it? Is this as good as it's going to get?" You start to become a lot more introspective, existential and philosophical than you did when you were younger. I think part of it is that when you're my age you're at the height of your earning power and money and survival isn't as large of a focus as it was when you're younger and in general I think you just become a lot more pensive and you're past all that bullshit that comes along with maturing. Anyway, that's my take. In a nutshell, I think a mid life crisis is a rebellion against one's own inevitable mortality.

libragirl

scb wrote:

At 31, I can't decide whether I'm currently going through a mid-life crisis or a late adolescence....

That's how Im feeling too...

norm

Brain of J.Lo wrote:

I don't think I'm focused enough on the future to ever possibly have a crisis of this sort. I've spent most of my life just bobbing along in the water and taking life as it comes, and I imagine I'll continue to do so.

this is my feelings on the subject.....being single and having no kids and at this point never going to have either, i wonder if i'll ever have a "mid life crisis".....:o

lukin2006

boxwine_in_hell wrote:

I'll resist the urge to make a joke here, so I'll get a little deep on you. I'm 38 and as near as I can tell a mid life crisis is basically coming to terms with your own mortality. As you start to age, be married for several years, have children and start a family I think you start to wonder...."Is this it? Is this as good as it's going to get?" You start to become a lot more introspective, existential and philosophical than you did when you were younger. I think part of it is that when you're my age you're at the height of your earning power and money and survival isn't as large of a focus as it was when you're younger and in general I think you just become a lot more pensive and you're past all that bullshit that comes along with maturing. Anyway, that's my take. In a nutshell, I think a mid life crisis is a rebellion against one's own inevitable mortality.

I like your spin on things, you make a lot of good points. I figured once past 40 I was clear of feeling different, now that I,m about to turn 42 I getting into a funk, or at least I hope thats all it is, but in one way its good, because I booked a trip to southern cal in March, because one of the things I always wanted to do was travel more, so something good may come out of this funk.

Ms. Haiku

As far as activities go I've been going through a mid-life crisis since I was 25, or approximately 15 years. My understanding is that supposedly it's a time to reevaluate where you have been, and where you are headed, and what needs to change to get there. Possibly time to try a new career, reevalute the relationship, pick a new state to live in - things like that.

I definitely did not leave trying new things out until now. Now, I'm ready to stay home and eat bonbons. Is that what you expect of a 40-year old? I think the notion of a mid-life crisis has to be evaluated. What were the social norms when it was first proposed? What are the social norms, currently, and how would they affect someone who is 40 or older? I think if we look at the mid-life crisis notion in that way, we'll see it's not relevant to contemporary culture.

What I have noticed is a wall of expectation. All of a sudden I feel like others expect me to grieve for my youth. Life keeps getting better for me, though. This is not the time for me to evalute my youth and grieve it. Eh, it's gone, goodbye! I continue to get physically, and mentally stronger.

As my grandma is alive and kicking at 96, I figure I'm still relatively a baby.

Ms. Haiku

boxwine_in_hell wrote:

I'll resist the urge to make a joke here, so I'll get a little deep on you. I'm 38 and as near as I can tell a mid life crisis is basically coming to terms with your own mortality. As you start to age, be married for several years, have children and start a family I think you start to wonder...."Is this it? Is this as good as it's going to get?" You start to become a lot more introspective, existential and philosophical than you did when you were younger. I think part of it is that when you're my age you're at the height of your earning power and money and survival isn't as large of a focus as it was when you're younger and in general I think you just become a lot more pensive and you're past all that bullshit that comes along with maturing. Anyway, that's my take. In a nutshell, I think a mid life crisis is a rebellion against one's own inevitable mortality.

You bring up a good point. It's probably why I feel that mid-life crisis needs to be evaluated. Personally, I was facing mortality, thanks to doctors with no empathy, in my late 20's early 30s. Hopefully, the hard introspection that is suppose to happen has happened. It couldn't get much worse than that scary time.

PJaddicted

Nope....48 here....one day at a time....fill it, live it and never look back....

oxc

decides2dream

Ms. Haiku wrote:

My understanding is that supposedly it's a time to reevaluate where you have been, and where you are headed, and what needs to change to get there. Possibly time to try a new career, reevalute the relationship, pick a new state to live in - things like that.

well damn, sure...i've done all THAT, a couple times already. i never thought of it as 'mid-life crisis'....just living to the fullest! :


to me, mid-life crisis was the *fear* of growing old, facing your mortality...and the cliched dumb choices: fucking around for the sake of fucking around, married or not ....wearing clothes that do NOT look good on you.....buying the sports car....the comb over .....whatever, you get the picture. top me, it was all about fear, being scared....not wanting to face your life changes head on, but holding onto that proverbial youth...movbing forward not by choice, but kicking and screaming.

me, i'll kick and scream...but just b/c i am having FUN! :cool:
i truly enjoy my age.....like where i'm at.....it's all good.

rise! life is in motion!


HELL YES!

PJaddicted wrote:

....one day at a time....fill it, live it and never look back....

LOVE IT!
*cheers*

wolfbear

PJaddicted wrote:

Nope....48 here....one day at a time....fill it, live it and never look back....

oxc

I agree. That's how I am. Hence no problem here. But, I do think some people do have a mid-life crisis. I have known people that have gone through some rough times.
I don't know what causes it or how to avoid it though.
Big help here. lol

PJaddicted

wolfbear wrote:

I agree. That's how I am. Hence no problem here. But, I do think some people do have a mid-life crisis. I have known people that have gone through some rough times.
I don't know what causes it or how to avoid it though.
Big help here. lol

I'm not saying it is all easy....the sudden death of my Dad three years ago came close to taking me out....but if you deal with the pain of life when it happens, you can be happy again, if you don't deal with the pain of early life....it will catch up to you and then you will go through major problems at midlife. Life's hardest lesson is loss and if the losses are too great to bare....which they can be, like my hubbies cousin who's 16 year old son died in his sleep 18 months ago...there is no recovering from that. The man is broken and will die broken, and most likely never grow old. That is a real midlife crisis that few people can ever get over.

Be thankful for all you have, don't look at other peoples lives with envy, make your own life unique and fill it with hobbies and people you love. Make your heart sing everyday. I love to get out in to nature....and I do every single day...it is free and just puts a smile on my face no matter what.

oxc

Anon

at 46, i guess i would have to say i'm in one now, although "crisis" seems harsh. just trying to find the balance in caring for my child, my marriage, my home, my job and more and more my elderly mother. trying to make sure i don't get lost in all of that and can still find the time to care for ME as much as i care for everything/everyone else.

and then there is always my signature..... ;-)