Men

Heineken Helen

catefrances wrote:

i know someone who says " i'm just gonna have a quick shower. give me 15 minutes". 45 minutes later im still waiting. and i have ZERO patience. if it were anyone but this someone they'd be spending the night watching porno. alone.

if you give me a time that you say you'll be ready or to meet, stick to it cause i will. i really only accept death as an excuse for lateness. and that is just my personal preference.

Most of the time I'm quite patient and don't mind waiting, UNLESS someone leaves me waiting all the time... in which case I think it's simply disrespectful. But yeh, if it happens the odd time, that's fine, and especially in these situations, I would never expect the call to be on time. And everyone says they'll be 15 minutes in the shower

comebackwoman

catefrances wrote:

i know someone who says " i'm just gonna have a quick shower. give me 15 minutes". 45 minutes later im still waiting. and i have ZERO patience. if it were anyone but this someone they'd be spending the night watching porno. alone.

if you give me a time that you say you'll be ready or to meet, stick to it cause i will. i really only accept death as an excuse for lateness. and that is just my personal preference.

Oh...I agree completely...death is the only excuse! I'm always on time...so I appreciate when my partner is on time. I know someone who once told me he'd call in an hour...and 3 hours later I finally got a call. Let's just say he doesn't do that anymore

comebackwoman

Heineken Helen wrote:

I do actually agree completely. Which is why I was wondering why so many people were calling this guy a jerk and why the OP was so annoyed at him and making out like he seriously fucked up, etc. But yep, looks like it's all cleared up now.

Also, in this last page, why do I feel like there's a post that was removed or something?

Yeah...I don't think he's a jerk...and she's not wrong either. Just different styles and it's normal to get annoyed by things like this.

BTW - I NEVER say I'll be 15 minutes in the shower...it's at least 30 minutes God how I love a nice hot shower I tried to adjust when I was in Australia Cate, but it was hard! :(

Heineken Helen

comebackgirl wrote:

Yeah...I don't think he's a jerk...and she's not wrong either. Just different styles and it's normal to get annoyed by things like this.

BTW - I NEVER say I'll be 15 minutes in the shower...it's at least 30 minutes God how I love a nice hot shower : o I tried to adjust when I was in Australia Cate, but it was hard! :(

See I don't think it's normal or right to get annoyed about it. I think it's very immature to say everyone gets one chance and that's it... which is why I suggested she's not ready for a relationship. Obviously I'm not talking about this guy, but if ya wanna have a relationship, you MUST be willing to let SOME things go. If you can't, well best of luck!

And lol, Jason at the weekend left us for a shower so I said I'd meet him... he said he'd be 15 minutes, so I said 'ok I'll meet ya here in 20', I turned up 25 minutes later and waited 5 minutes for him . Somebody says they'll be 15 minutes in the shower, I just smile and nod and see them in half an hour

comebackwoman

Heineken Helen wrote:

See I don't think it's normal or right to get annoyed about it. I think it's very immature to say everyone gets one chance and that's it... which is why I suggested she's not ready for a relationship. Obviously I'm not talking about this guy, but if ya wanna have a relationship, you MUST be willing to let SOME things go. If you can't, well best of luck!

And lol, Jason at the weekend left us for a shower so I said I'd meet him... he said he'd be 15 minutes, so I said 'ok I'll meet ya here in 20', I turned up 25 minutes later and waited 5 minutes for him . Somebody says they'll be 15 minutes in the shower, I just smile and nod and see them in half an hour

I think different people are annoyed by different things. It sounds like there was more than one thing that annoyed her here...some of those things might also annoy someone else...some of them may not. I don't think it's fair to say he's a jerk, nor that she's immature. They just didn't click. Yeah...it's good to let some things go...but you don't wanna find yourself working overtime to make a relationship work if it's just not the right fit.

Heineken Helen

comebackgirl wrote:

I think different people are annoyed by different things. It sounds like there was more than one thing that annoyed her here...some of those things might also annoy someone else...some of them may not. I don't think it's fair to say he's a jerk, nor that she's immature. They just didn't click. Yeah...it's good to let some things go...but you don't wanna find yourself working overtime to make a relationship work if it's just not the right fit.

Oh I'm definitely not saying you should work overtime... if it's a chore it's not working... BUT you need to learn to laugh at some differences! Life's too short otherwise. I mean the poor guy went out of his way to get a friend to recommend a place... if a friend recommends somewhere to me... I take their word at where it is and presume it's still open. I may or may not google it, I usually don't.

catefrances

Heineken Helen wrote:

Most of the time I'm quite patient and don't mind waiting, UNLESS someone leaves me waiting all the time... in which case I think it's simply disrespectful. But yeh, if it happens the odd time, that's fine, and especially in these situations, I would never expect the call to be on time. And everyone says they'll be 15 minutes in the shower

i never say i'll be 15 minutes in the shower. though thats about how long i do actually take. but i mean what the fuck are you doing in there anyway for all that time if youre in there for so long?
anyhoo i do not accept lateness. it seriously pisses me off and shows a lack of respect as far as i can see. if you're not planning on sticking to the time or for whatever reason you just feel the need to nominate a time, then please don't. i'd rather be told im not sure what time ill call you, but it'll be sometime around x o'clock, okay/ to which i will reply, yeah sure thats cool but i go to bed at blah blah oclock

catefrances

comebackgirl wrote:

BTW - I NEVER say I'll be 15 minutes in the shower...it's at least 30 minutes God how I love a nice hot shower I tried to adjust when I was in Australia Cate, but it was hard! :(

hey come on now, we just dont have the spare water down here for a leisurely shower elana.

Heineken Helen

catefrances wrote:

i never say i'll be 15 minutes in the shower. though thats about how long i do actually take. but i mean what the fuck are you doing in there anyway for all that time if youre in there for so long?
anyhoo i do not accept lateness. it seriously pisses me off and shows a lack of respect as far as i can see. if you're not planning on sticking to the time or for whatever reason you just feel the need to nominate a time, then please don't. i'd rather be told im not sure what time ill call you, but it'll be sometime around x o'clock, okay/ to which i will reply, yeah sure thats cool but i go to bed at blah blah oclock

I agree that it shows a lack of respect if you do it ALL the time... but hey, things happen. If you're supposed to meet somebody at 6, give yourself plenty of time, sometimes things just go against ya. There might be an accident and traffic takes two hours rather than 20 minutes. Or if you're supposed to call somebody, it's easy to realise you're 45 minutes later than you'd planned... although I never tell people I'll call at a certain time, I like random calling These things happen... they don't happen all the time however, so yeh, if it's a frequent event, serious lack of respect.

Rygar

Heineken Helen wrote:

I agree that it shows a lack of respect if you do it ALL the time... but hey, things happen. If you're supposed to meet somebody at 6, give yourself plenty of time, sometimes things just go against ya. There might be an accident and traffic takes two hours rather than 20 minutes. Or if you're supposed to call somebody, it's easy to realise you're 45 minutes later than you'd planned... although I never tell people I'll call at a certain time, I like random calling These things happen... they don't happen all the time however, so yeh, if it's a frequent event, serious lack of respect.

Does anyone else find it funny that the topic is partly (recently, at least) that the man is the one who isn't ready on time?
hehehe!

Heineken Helen

Rygar wrote:

Does anyone else find it funny that the topic is partly (recently, at least) that the man is the one who isn't ready on time?
hehehe!

actually in that post you quoted I did have a female friend in mind... she'd OFTEN leave me waiting up to two hours on my own, which I can do... I can go into a pub and find somebody to chat to no problem... but when she kept doing it, it's just rude... so ONCE I took my time and let her wait! Do ya think she EVER let it go? :rolleyes: but she was never so late herself again after that

Rygar

Heineken Helen wrote:

actually in that post you quoted I did have a female friend in mind... she'd OFTEN leave me waiting up to two hours on my own, which I can do... I can go into a pub and find somebody to chat to no problem... but when she kept doing it, it's just rude... so ONCE I took my time and let her wait! Do ya think she EVER let it go? :rolleyes: but she was never so late herself again after that

That's why it's funny!
At least you had plenty of rebuttal material for her complaining. I'd have done the same thing you did.

catefrances

Heineken Helen wrote:

I agree that it shows a lack of respect if you do it ALL the time... but hey, things happen. If you're supposed to meet somebody at 6, give yourself plenty of time, sometimes things just go against ya. There might be an accident and traffic takes two hours rather than 20 minutes. Or if you're supposed to call somebody, it's easy to realise you're 45 minutes later than you'd planned... although I never tell people I'll call at a certain time, I like random calling These things happen... they don't happen all the time however, so yeh, if it's a frequent event, serious lack of respect.

well of course there can be extenuating circumstances. but you have to make allowances for such events i reckon. leave half an hour earlier just in case. though if a truck has rolled on the highway and the flaming wreck is blocking the road, then sure ill take that excuse. but if i can adjust on the chance that transport connections are out then so can someone who'll maybe, just maybe stuck in traffic. if i can be somewhere in an hour and a half by somewhat unreliable public transport you bet i expect the other person, if they're travelling by car, to be there on time too. but whatever you do DO NOT call me around the time we're suppose to be meeting and say oh im just leaving. i'm getting in the car now cause i will not be there when you get there.

Heineken Helen

catefrances wrote:

well of course there can be extenuating circumstances. but you have to make allowances for such events i reckon. leave half an hour earlier just in case. though if a truck has rolled on the highway and the flaming wreck is blocking the road, then sure ill take that excuse. but if i can adjust on the chance that transport connections are out then so can someone who'll maybe, just maybe stuck in traffic. if i can be somewhere in an hour and a half by somewhat unreliable public transport you bet i expect the other person, if they're travelling by car, to be there on time too. but whatever you do DO NOT call me around the time we're suppose to be meeting and say oh im just leaving. i'm getting in the car now cause i will not be there when you get there.

Trust me Cate... I'm a time FREAK... my bus takes about 30 minutes, so I usually leave about an hour and a half early in case of traffic and bus turning up late and stuff... which is why I've got used to waiting, cos I'm often an hour early anyway but yeh, if someone does it once or twice, it's no problem... all the time, it IS a problem.

Heineken Helen

Rygar wrote:

That's why it's funny!
At least you had plenty of rebuttal material for her complaining. I'd have done the same thing you did.

Yep, cos she used to lie... obviously lie... about where she was... 'oh I'm stuck in traffic in Christchurch' which is a ten minute walk from where we usually met... I'd tell her to walk and she'd SWEAR she begged the driver but he's insisting she'd wait til the stop. So an hour later she'd turn up. So the time I made her wait, it was after a rugby match and me and my bf at the time were enjoying other peoples company in another pub so I told her to just come there... but she wouldn't cos she didn't like drinking in any other pub :rolleyes: so in the meantime he'd gone to the bar for more drink... I told her we were waiting on a taxi and there was none to be found and this went on for two hours til we finally decided to leave it felt great.

Cuntified C

What's a useless bit of skin belonging to a penis?

A man

acoustic guy

comebackgirl wrote:

I think it's all about personal preference. Everyone has a certain dating/relationship style and it's just important to find someone who's style meshes with yours. I don't think there's a right or wrong or that having a preference means someone isn't ready to date. We all teach people how we like to be treated...it's important to communicate that in any relationship. Time is a very cultural thing...what's considered "normal" in terms of lateness, etc. varies very much from region to region also. I would not be happy with someone being 45 minutes late...it's not right or wrong...just a personal preference.

Not sure if what I am saying here is revelant, but I just though of it so I'm saying it.

The type of woman I married is different from the type of woman I used to pick up. I used to like to date girls who were a little more....uh.....well naughty. I like dirty nasty girls. Hot girls not ugly ofcourse.
My wife has much more class then those girls. I picked her type b/c she is a great person and I knew would make a great mother.

Sorry if this is completlely from left field.

catefrances

Heineken Helen wrote:

Trust me Cate... I'm a time FREAK... my bus takes about 30 minutes, so I usually leave about an hour and a half early in case of traffic and bus turning up late and stuff... which is why I've got used to waiting, cos I'm often an hour early anyway but yeh, if someone does it once or twice, it's no problem... all the time, it IS a problem.

oh i doubt you're as much of a freak as i am. i can not stand to wait AT ALL. ive got the public transport thing down so well that i add on the minutes i think the bus is gonna be late so i dont have to wait the extra minutes at the stop.

but what i really think it is, is that i just hate to deal with people.

comebackwoman

catefrances wrote:

hey come on now, we just dont have the spare water down here for a leisurely shower elana.

hehe I know I know!!! I've worked on speeding it up...but then something...erm someone usually winds up distracting me

comebackwoman

acoustic guy wrote:

Not sure if what I am saying here is revelant, but I just though of it so I'm saying it.

The type of woman I married is different from the type of woman I used to pick up. I used to like to date girls who were a little more....uh.....well naughty. I like dirty nasty girls. Hot girls not ugly ofcourse.
My wife has much more class then those girls. I picked her type b/c she is a great person and I knew would make a great mother.

Sorry if this is completlely from left field.

I think I understand what you're saying...the girls you liked to date and have fun with are different from the woman you decided to share you life with. I think sometimes what we want in a relationship and who we want to be with evolves over time. Nothing wrong with that...it's evolution baby

And yeah...we all make adjustments...give people a chance...but it's good to know your boundaries and limits and what you like and don't like. I'm a stickler for time...my fiance...um not so much but it is REALLY important to me...so he respects that...and I've made adjustments for him as well. Part of a relationship is learning what's important to your partner and respecting it...but sometimes I think styles/preferences/etc. are SO different that it's good just to realize it's not a good match and let the relationship go while you're both still in one piece