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Don't shave your ass

CorduroyboyCorduroyboy Posts: 1,256
edited November 2012 in All Encompassing Trip
I was in tears after reading this!

http://listoftheday.blogspot.com/2008/06/confessional-of-day-dont-shave-your-ass.html
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  • drivingrldrivingrl Posts: 1,448
    That is amazing. Thanks for posting!
    drivingrl: "Will I ever get to meet Gwen Stefani?"
    kevinbeetle: "Yes. When her career washes up and her and Gavin move to Galveston, you will meet her at Hot Topic shopping for a Japanese cheerleader outfit.

    Next!"
  • HOOKERHOOKER Posts: 1,443
    I will stop today.
    Nice to know you.
  • Medicated-GeniusMedicated-Genius Posts: 359
    Corduroyboy wrote:
    I was in tears after reading this!

    http://listoftheday.blogspot.com/2008/06/confessional-of-day-dont-shave-your-ass.html


    I can't help it, this kinda shit (pardon the pun) gets me every time! LMFAO
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    Corduroyboy wrote:
    I was in tears after reading this!

    http://listoftheday.blogspot.com/2008/06/confessional-of-day-dont-shave-your-ass.html

    is THIS the kind of stuff you come up with now that Rock of LOve isn't on anymore??!! :eek:
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

    "Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95

    It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    Corduroyboy wrote:
    I was in tears after reading this!

    http://listoftheday.blogspot.com/2008/06/confessional-of-day-dont-shave-your-ass.html
    That was hysterical! :)
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • CollinCollin Posts: 4,931
    That was hilarious!

    Still laughing.
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


    naděje umírá poslední
  • CorduroyboyCorduroyboy Posts: 1,256
    SENROCK! wrote:
    is THIS the kind of stuff you come up with now that Rock of LOve isn't on anymore??!! :eek:


    Haaaaaaaaaaa!!! I have to inject hilarity in my day, and without Rock of Love, I must find other sources!!
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    Corduroyboy wrote:
    Haaaaaaaaaaa!!! I have to inject hilarity in my day, and without Rock of Love, I must find other sources!!

    hahahaha good to know! :D
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

    "Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95

    It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
  • CorduroyboyCorduroyboy Posts: 1,256
    SENROCK! wrote:
    hahahaha good to know! :D

    It's also good to know, that I too will stop shaving my ass! :)
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    Corduroyboy wrote:
    It's also good to know, that I too will stop shaving my ass! :)

    lovely.
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

    "Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95

    It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
  • elmerelmer Posts: 1,683
    'lingering loaf..'


    that was very funny! I did myself once have the same problem to a lesser extent. A mate had an ingrown hair on one of his buttcheeks, his recount was incredible: had to show me the scar before I could believe him, though he's a proper bushmonkey.
  • he still standshe still stands Posts: 2,835
    Here is the appropriate method:

    I use my clippers, actually the same pair that I use on my head, to shave my ass. Of course a different attachment is used so I'm not co-mingling ass hair with the hair on my head.

    Use the shortest or second shortest attachment on the clippers so it shaves down to about 1/4 of an inch.

    Shave away!!!

    Now this most definitely is an exact science. Anything less than 1/4 of an inch will result in incredible itching. Itching like you've never itched before. Also, steer clear of the "turkey neck" because it can easily become caught in the clippers.

    I prefer to stretch out the turkey neck to keep it from getting caught. You know, the old "flying squirrel" routine?

    Also, make sure to do this on a laminate or tile floor, and spend at least 10 minutes afterwards cleaning up the jungle that suddenly appears on the floor. (Yes, the more hair, the prouder you will be) Nothing is worse than having your wife yell at you because your ass hair is all over the bathroom floor.

    And yes, it does help with the flow. I wouldn't describe it as "beer out of a keg," but more like a nice squeeze bottle of creamy peanut butter.

    Cheers.
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    he still stands wrote:
    Here is the appropriate method:

    I use my clippers, actually the same pair that I use on my head, to shave my ass. Of course a different attachment is used so I'm not co-mingling ass hair with the hair on my head.

    Use the shortest or second shortest attachment on the clippers so it shaves down to about 1/4 of an inch.

    Shave away!!!

    Now this most definitely is an exact science. Anything less than 1/4 of an inch will result in incredible itching. Itching like you've never itched before. Also, steer clear of the "turkey neck" because it can easily become caught in the clippers.

    I prefer to stretch out the turkey neck to keep it from getting caught. You know, the old "flying squirrel" routine?

    Also, make sure to do this on a laminate or tile floor, and spend at least 10 minutes afterwards cleaning up the jungle that suddenly appears on the floor. (Yes, the more hair, the prouder you will be) Nothing is worse than having your wife yell at you because your ass hair is all over the bathroom floor.

    And yes, it does help with the flow. I wouldn't describe it as "beer out of a keg," but more like a nice squeeze bottle of creamy peanut butter.

    Cheers.
    OK, that was way too much info.
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • RygarRygar Posts: 8,690
    he still stands wrote:
    Here is the appropriate method:

    I use my clippers, actually the same pair that I use on my head, to shave my ass. Of course a different attachment is used so I'm not co-mingling ass hair with the hair on my head.

    Use the shortest or second shortest attachment on the clippers so it shaves down to about 1/4 of an inch.

    Shave away!!!

    Now this most definitely is an exact science. Anything less than 1/4 of an inch will result in incredible itching. Itching like you've never itched before. Also, steer clear of the "turkey neck" because it can easily become caught in the clippers.

    I prefer to stretch out the turkey neck to keep it from getting caught. You know, the old "flying squirrel" routine?

    Also, make sure to do this on a laminate or tile floor, and spend at least 10 minutes afterwards cleaning up the jungle that suddenly appears on the floor. (Yes, the more hair, the prouder you will be) Nothing is worse than having your wife yell at you because your ass hair is all over the bathroom floor.

    And yes, it does help with the flow. I wouldn't describe it as "beer out of a keg," but more like a nice squeeze bottle of creamy peanut butter.

    Cheers.
    This was almost as funny as the original link!
  • he still standshe still stands Posts: 2,835
    Rygar wrote:
    This was almost as funny as the original link!

    Next week I'll write about keeping the razor burn away when shaving the front-side.

    Cheers!
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • itsevobabyitsevobaby Posts: 1,809
    Ah who am i kidding, poo jokes are funny! :D
    Look Alive,
    See These Bones
  • hrd2imgnhrd2imgn Southwest Burbs of Chicago Posts: 4,902
    yeah everything he said...true

    just Say No to anal Shaving
  • Sian-of-the-deadSian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    Oh my god I haven't laughed so hard in ages! :D

    Thanks for posting it!
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • he still standshe still stands Posts: 2,835
    Dudes... The key is using CLIPPERS!!! Don't go anywhere near your asshole with a fucking RAZOR!!!

    I posted earlier the appropriate method.

    You're Welcome.
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    Omg...
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • upina2001upina2001 Indiana Posts: 764
    now that's a funny ass story!!!!

    Toledo, Ohio (September 22, 1996), East Troy, Wisconsin (June 26, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 17, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 18, 2000), Cincinnati, Ohio (August 20, 2000), Columbus, Ohio (August 21, 2000), Nashville, Tennessee (April 18, 2003), Champaign, Illinois (April 23, 2003), Noblesville, Indiana (June 22, 2003), Chicago, Illinois (May 16, 2006), Chicago, Illinois (August 05, 2007), West Palm Beach, Florida (June 11, 2008), Tampa, Florida (June 12, 2008), Columbus, OH (May 06, 2010), Noblesville, Indiana (May 07, 2010), Wrigley Field (July 19, 2013), US Bank Arena (October 01, 2014), Lexington (April 26, 2016), Chicago Night 2 (August 20, 2018), Boston Night 1 (September 02, 2018), Nashville (September 16, 2022), St. Louis (September 18, 2022)

  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    he still stands wrote:
    Dudes... The key is using CLIPPERS!!! Don't go anywhere near your asshole with a fucking RAZOR!!!

    I posted earlier the appropriate method.

    You're Welcome.
    This comment caused my sphincter to pucker.
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • Flannel ShirtFlannel Shirt Posts: 1,021
    This had me dying....still wiping the tears from my face.

    "Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair: ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. "
    All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
  • he still standshe still stands Posts: 2,835
    Flannel Shirt wrote:
    This had me dying....still wiping the tears from my face.

    "Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair: ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. "

    I remember that feeling. I haven't had the pleasure for quite a few years, not since I was a hairless pup...
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    What's with all this shaving anyways? Who has the time? Anyways, we're men, we're supposed to be hairy little monkeys. :)
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • Kilgore_TroutKilgore_Trout Posts: 7,334
    ive considered grooming it before... but more for aesthetic reasons... im just afraid itll grow back thicker... i dont have time to make this a regular routine... and until a gf comments on it its not really a problem... once im bald i might even need those ass hair to replace the missing ones on my head :D
    "Senza speme vivemo in disio"

    http://seanbriceart.com/
  • urbanhippieurbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    Hahahahaha!!!!! :D:D:D
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • he still standshe still stands Posts: 2,835
    sgossard3 wrote:
    ive considered grooming it before... but more for aesthetic reasons... im just afraid itll grow back thicker... i dont have time to make this a regular routine... and until a gf comments on it its not really a problem... once im bald i might even need those ass hair to replace the missing ones on my head :D

    Nah it doesn't grow back thicker... seriously it only takes about 20 minutes once every 3 or 4 weeks. And once again, DON'T SHAVE... use CLIPPERS!!!

    There isn't much better than a fresh ass-grooming session, coupled with a fresh man-scaping session on the front-side, and then finish it all off with a handful of baby powder.

    It feels sooooooo good!!! LOL ;)

    (I am being serious... and yes I know how ridiculous I am)
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • Kilgore_TroutKilgore_Trout Posts: 7,334
    he still stands wrote:
    Nah it doesn't grow back thicker... seriously it only takes about 20 minutes once every 3 or 4 weeks. And once again, DON'T SHAVE... use CLIPPERS!!!

    There isn't much better than a fresh ass-grooming session, coupled with a fresh man-scaping session on the front-side, and then finish it all off with a handful of baby powder.

    It feels sooooooo good!!! LOL ;)

    (I am being serious... and yes I know how ridiculous I am)
    naw... cleanliness is next to godliness... im sure gods got a well groomed backside too :D

    and ill have to try your advice
    "Senza speme vivemo in disio"

    http://seanbriceart.com/
  • restlesssoulrestlesssoul Posts: 6,951
    seriously, thank you...that was a great laugh. holy shit.

    reminds me of when i was young and fighting the ass hair. i didnt shave it, i used nair. my god, talk about a stench. a chemical burning off your ass hair.

    it definately has a purpose.
    Van '98, Sea I+II '00, Sea '01, Sea II '02, Van '03, Gorge, Van, Cal, Edm '05, Bos I+II, Phi I+II, DC, SF II+III, Port, Gorge I+II '06, DC, NY I+II '08, Sea I+II, Van, Ridge , LA III+IV' 09, Indy '10, Cal, Van '11, Lond, Van, Sea '13, Memphis '14, RRHOF '17, Sea I+II '18, Van I+II, Vegas I+II '24
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