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I'm getting fat. Help!

harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
edited December 2007 in All Encompassing Trip
I was eating so well when my wife was controlling my diet... She was obsessed, and it looked good on me. Now it's all gone to shit and I've just eaten my third chinese take away in two weeks. I guess I should do some shopping... for something other than cider....

Why does life have to be so complicated? Where's the vegetable aisle?
'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

- the great Sir Leo Harrison
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  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    I was eating so well when my wife was controlling my diet... She was obsessed, and it looked good on me. Now it's all gone to shit and I've just eaten my third chinese take away in two weeks. I guess I should do some shopping... for something other than cider....

    Why does life have to be so complicated? Where's the vegetable aisle?

    Don't ask me! I fainted at the thought of vegatables! ;)
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    I'm going to bed soon, you three. (You know who you are :))

    Boys, behave yourselves!
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    *whispers* She's gone....

    Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggghrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa let's tear this joint down! Behave ourselves? Let's torture some ferrets and paint the walls of the pit with their blood!!! HA HA HA HA HAAAA
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • sweet adelinesweet adeline Posts: 2,191
    start exercising.
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    *whispers* She's gone....

    Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggghrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa let's tear this joint down! Behave ourselves? Let's torture some ferrets and paint the walls of the pit with their blood!!! HA HA HA HA HAAAA

    yeah, alright!

    I'm sure you don't need to lose weight, Mark.
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    MattCameronKicksButt wrote:
    yeah, alright!

    I'm sure you don't need to lose weight, Mark.

    Well I'm heading that way....
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • Jeremy1012Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    MattCameronKicksButt wrote:
    I'm going to bed soon, you three. (You know who you are :))

    Boys, behave yourselves!
    psst. who are the three? I'll keep them in line.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    sweet adeline wrote:
    start exercising.

    I can't run.....

    I do lift weights, but that won't control the belly monster when it starts knocking at my door...
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • anothercloneanotherclone Posts: 1,688
    I pretty much don't follow any kind of real healthy diet between Thanksgiving and New Year. What's the point? There is too much evil stuff that I like during the holiday. Helloooooo stuffing and gravy! I'm good all year long. I deserve a vacation.

    Maybe you should look at this time as a vacation from healthy eating. Start new in January. :)
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    anotherclone wrote:
    I pretty much don't follow any kind of real healthy diet between Thanksgiving and New Year. What's the point? There is too much evil stuff that I like during the holiday. Helloooooo stuffing and gravy! I'm good all year long. I deserve a vacation.

    Maybe you should look at this time as a vacation from healthy eating. Start new in January. :)

    Don't put off 'til tomorrow what you can do today, is what I always say. :)
  • sweet adelinesweet adeline Posts: 2,191
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    I can't run.....

    I do lift weights, but that won't control the belly monster when it starts knocking at my door...

    it sounds lame, but try spinning. its not hard on your joints like running can be and its a good cardio workout. there is also eliptical trainers, ect. just a thought.
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    sweet adeline wrote:
    it sounds lame, but try spinning. its not hard on your joints like running can be and its a good cardio workout. there is also eliptical trainers, ect. just a thought.

    I spin in my wheelchair when I'm drunk... doesn't work the belly though :o

    :D
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • Jeremy1012Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    I spin in my wheelchair when I'm drunk... doesn't work the belly though :o

    :D
    Dude, that just gave me a mental image that I'm not even sure it's ok to laugh at :)
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • anothercloneanotherclone Posts: 1,688
    MattCameronKicksButt wrote:
    Don't put off 'til tomorrow what you can do today, is what I always say. :)


    PROCRASTINATORS UNITE!!!!

    (tomorrow ;) )
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    Dude, that just gave me a mental image that I'm not even sure it's ok to laugh at :)

    You think I do it with a straight face?

    Na, j/k, I don't do it really... just wanted to get a LAUGH... so yeah, don't worry, don't think, just LAUGH... :D Only time I span was when I used to play basketball.. or when some little chav kid in the street goes 'Hey, do a spin while staying in a wheelie! Sweeet!' And then I can't resist....
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • Jeremy1012Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    You think I do it with a straight face?

    Na, j/k, I don't do it really... just wanted to get a LAUGH... so yeah, don't worry, don't think, just LAUGH... :D Only time I span was when I used to play basketball.. or when some little chav kid in the street goes 'Hey, do a spin while staying in a wheelie! Sweeet!' And then I can't resist....
    :D That's awesome. Speaking of the basketball, why not still do it? That's good exercise right?
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    sign up for a half marathon :)

    but seriously, don't get too controling over what you eat, it only ends up backfiring. just go with the flow and exercise. if you go from not exercising regularly to exercising regularly, you are almost guaranteed to lose weight (but it tappers off the better shape you get in). plus, remember that everyone's weight goes up and down throughout their life for life style changes, biology, whatever. you might just be going through a fat phase!
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    :D That's awesome. Speaking of the basketball, why not still do it? That's good exercise right?

    Yeah I want to get into a team to be honest.. there's one fairly near me-ish.. just don't know if I could fit it in outside of work.. I'll work it out..
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    sign up for a half marathon :)

    Funniliy enough I plan to do that.. maybe eventually a whole one.. raise money for the charity I work at
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    but seriously, don't get too controling over what you eat, it only ends up backfiring. just go with the flow and exercise. if you go from not exercising regularly to exercising regularly, you are almost guaranteed to lose weight (but it tappers off the better shape you get in). plus, remember that everyone's weight goes up and down throughout their life for life style changes, biology, whatever. you might just be going through a fat phase!

    You make it sound so OK! Yeah, you know what, you're right... I should just embrace my fat phase.. :D
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • RolandTD20KdrummerRolandTD20Kdrummer Posts: 13,066
    Smack down 5 of these a day. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6498304/

    The shock should be enough to cause the fat to explode off your body...
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    sign up for a half marathon :)

    Funniliy enough I plan to do that.. maybe eventually a whole one.. raise money for the charity I work at



    You make it sound so OK! Yeah, you know what, you're right... I should just embrace my fat phase.. :D

    but seriously, it IS ok.
    people act like gaining a few lbs here and there is the worst crime on earth, but it's so not. and if you stress too much about it, it will only make it harder to lose weight. I stressed A LOT about it, but then after seeing a nutritionist, a trainer, and reading a couple books, I've learned that my body is just in a different place right now and that's ok.

    Actually, a book I *highly* suggest is called Intuitive Eating. I would check it out.
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:
    Smack down 5 of these a day. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6498304/

    The shock should be enough to cause the fat to explode off your body...

    WOAH yeah I've seen that before... crazy...
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    sign up for a half marathon :)

    but seriously, it IS ok.
    people act like gaining a few lbs here and there is the worst crime on earth, but it's so not. and if you stress too much about it, it will only make it harder to lose weight. I stressed A LOT about it, but then after seeing a nutritionist, a trainer, and reading a couple books, I've learned that my body is just in a different place right now and that's ok.

    Actually, a book I *highly* suggest is called Intuitive Eating. I would check it out.

    I will, cheers :)
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!~
    Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son - Dean Wormer


    SERIOUSLY - you need to get off of your eating take out/away!!!

    buy salad ingredients, and eat that during the week - it's easy and fast, and you can't get fat on romaine lettuce! add some garbaonzos and some parmesan with a little dressing (not a cream dressing...you can use that somewhere else ;) ) and you have a proteined up caesar salad...

    and you said you lifted weights, but it didn't remove the belly??? actually you can do weighted stomach crunches...and they can be done in a chair... :D

    you only need to take care of all of this if you feel unhealthy - if you are feeling healthy then you shouldn't worry about your weight for aesthetics...that is just superbly lame.

    (wooooh! a post that wasn't vulgar!!!)
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    failedpersephone wrote:
    DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!~
    Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son - Dean Wormer


    SERIOUSLY - you need to get off of your eating take out/away!!!

    buy salad ingredients, and eat that during the week - it's easy and fast, and you can't get fat on romaine lettuce! add some garbaonzos and some parmesan with a little dressing (not a cream dressing...you can use that somewhere else ;) ) and you have a proteined up caesar salad...

    and you said you lifted weights, but it didn't remove the belly??? actually you can do weighted stomach crunches...and they can be done in a chair... :D

    you only need to take care of all of this if you feel unhealthy - if you are feeling healthy then you shouldn't worry about your weight for aesthetics...that is just superbly lame.

    I highlighted my favourite part :D

    Na, I feel fine... not unhealthy.. yeah, aesthetics are lame!

    But no, thanks for the tips anyway.

    WTF is a garbaonzo? It sounds like an Italian muppet.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • Pearl Jam and toastPearl Jam and toast Posts: 4,475
    Go veg. Excercise. Eat less.

    Let me stress the eat less part,.. Your body is used to eating a certain amount of food, but if you make an effort to actually stick to a smaller diet you'll adjust, and in two weeks (if it even takes that long) your hunger pains will go away and you'll feel normal.

    All three of those things depend on you eating better though. And if you decide to go veg (great desicion by the way, you'll feel lighter and more energetic than ever) make sure you don't become a junk food vegetarian! Tofu can be delicious if you know how to cook it, Morningstar Farms and other soy products are delicious, fruits and vegetables themselves are rather delicious too.. My point is, becoming a vegetarian doesn't mean having a boring diet.

    edit: Garbanzo beans are great but I prefer black beans :)
    Come on pilgrim you know he loves you..

    http://www.wishlistfoundation.org

    Oh my, they dropped the leash.



    Morgan Freeman/Clint Eastwood 08' for President!

    "Make our day"
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    I highlighted my favourite part :D

    Na, I feel fine... not unhealthy.. yeah, aesthetics are lame!

    But no, thanks for the tips anyway.

    WTF is a garbaonzo? It sounds like an Italian muppet.

    mmmm muppets...and you just said the magic word to enter the failedpersephone fun castle of vulgar innuendo and joyfully wicked smack time!!!


    garbanzos are legumes...sometimes called chickpeas...and if it were an italian muppet, it would have to have a set of "garbanzos" made out of blue felt covered golf balls (for weight and density)

    *mmm mental image* :D:D:D
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    failedpersephone wrote:
    mmmm muppets...and you just said the magic word to enter the failedpersephone fun castle of vulgar innuendo and joyfully wicked smack time!!!

    Oh failedpersephone, you have NO idea how long I've waited for you to say those words and invite me in for vulgar innuendo and smack time!!!
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    would you like the verbal/ non image smack down or would you prefer to visualize as well...

    *takes it to the PM world*

    hey - this can also help you to lose weight!

    ahem: the average mental induced masturbation session (lasting no longer than 15 minutes) can use up to 200 calories.


    let's see if you can't beat that time record and use up all the chinese food calories...beat it, get it?? get it???
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    failedpersephone wrote:
    would you like the verbal/ non image smack down or would you prefer to visualize as well...

    *takes it to the PM world*

    hey - this can also help you to lose weight!

    ahem: the average mental induced masturbation session (lasting no longer than 15 minutes) can use up to 200 calories.


    let's see if you can't beat that time record and use up all the chinese food calories...beat it, get it?? get it???

    OK, if you say so, but those PMs will be USELESS without pictures.... ;)
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
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