Lightbulb Moments...
releaselauren
Posts: 384
When did you decide to say "fuck it" about a relationship? When did you decide that you had all you could take and that certain boundaries were crossed? If you are familiar with addiction, how long would you endure relapses before you knew that you needed to get out......or would you stay and hope that at the three year mark, he/she wouldn't relapse and wreak havoc on your life......again?
I'm done. I'm done and I am done.
Just when I think all is going well in my life after all these years....I am struck by chaos that I can't control and after 15 fucking years of this shit....two sons who are old enough to witness destructive behavior.... I AM DONE!
and to the motherfucker computer guy (you know who you are) who works for my husband who hacks into my computer with a keylogger..... FUCK YOU!
My lightbulb moment was a few days ago when I realized that I am 37, looking good, have the money to take care of my boys and I do NOT need to deal with this shit every fucking three years of my life. I deserve better and so do my sons. Fuck addiction.... After all these years, I can only forgive so much....
I'm done. I'm done and I am done.
Just when I think all is going well in my life after all these years....I am struck by chaos that I can't control and after 15 fucking years of this shit....two sons who are old enough to witness destructive behavior.... I AM DONE!
and to the motherfucker computer guy (you know who you are) who works for my husband who hacks into my computer with a keylogger..... FUCK YOU!
My lightbulb moment was a few days ago when I realized that I am 37, looking good, have the money to take care of my boys and I do NOT need to deal with this shit every fucking three years of my life. I deserve better and so do my sons. Fuck addiction.... After all these years, I can only forgive so much....
"you shall be released" ~ EV
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If you don't mind, what type of addiction?
I don't mind...
Drugs: it was Xanax this time that he abused that led to coke that led to heroin, which I discovered tonight, he was snorting....that is a new one to the list of drugs he has abused over the past 25 years. He has been in rehab at least six times and the last time was due to crack. Of course, with all of this drug use, alcohol is a factor. He has also abused Valium and Vicodin over the years....on/off. I think he had at least a couple years "clean"....or at least it appeared to be that way.
He comes from money...there hasn't been real consequences or rock-bottom, although this time he will go to jail (after rehab...should he choose to go) as I have an order of protection against him that he violated. Apparently, snorting heroin makes one completely paranoid and violent and, well, I don't tolerate that shit.
thank God for Pearl Jam music....and Tool......and "Bodies" by Drowning Pool....
That does suck. I've heard friends go down all those roads. The ones without consequences always get into the most trouble, in my experience.
I had a heroin addict move into a house I was living at once and one of my friends started to dabble. He always had a pill and alcohol problem and he also came from a well off family.
You said it yourself in the first post. You're 37 able to handle yourself, plus if the kids are old enough to understand, they'll understand why it has to be done.
stay strong