Stock Market Info :) ..

josevolution
josevolution Posts: 31,827
edited October 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
Just in case you don't understand some of the terms you have been reading in the news lately:


CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to
mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no
allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants
as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your
assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears
down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker
for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who
bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked
up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
jesus greets me looks just like me ....
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Gremmie95
    Gremmie95 Posts: 749
    thats funny
  • riffrandall
    riffrandall Posts: 685
    Gremmie95 wrote:
    thats funny

    Yeah, in a "it's 1998 let's forward this lame email to everyone we know" way.
    Don't you have anything less interesting to read, like maybe a "differences between men and women" mass-email?
    "If you're looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch, you're out of luck."

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