5 years ago today. . .

angryyoungman

i lost my best friend (mentioned in my sig) and it doesnt seem any fairer now then it did then. . .i brought him to my first pj concert, met up with him in the city when he was going to college at f.i.t. . .he dug the show even though he wasnt as big a pj fan as any of us. . .good memories. . .but i miss him still. . .r.i.p. jeff

brain of c

to young to die.

PJaddicted

The pain of loss of someone you love so much never goes away. It lessons over time....but you never "get over it". When I was 17 I lost a friend at a Grateful Dead concert. He was very drunk and high, our friends brought him to a med station, and they left him lying on his back, he vomited and aspirated. 18 years old....gone from all who loved him lives forever. I don't think of him as often anymore, it has been 30 years, but I tell his story to my sons....ALL THE TIME! Maybe one of them or their friends will be saved by the loss of his life.

((((( Hugs ))))))

oxc

angryyoungman

PJaddicted wrote:

The pain of loss of someone you love so much never goes away. It lessons over time....but you never "get over it". When I was 17 I lost a friend at a Grateful Dead concert. He was very drunk and high, our friends brought him to a med station, and they left him lying on his back, he vomited and aspirated. 18 years old....gone from all who loved him lives forever. I don't think of him as often anymore, it has been 30 years, but I tell his story to my sons....ALL THE TIME! Maybe one of them or their friends will be saved by the loss of his life.

((((( Hugs ))))))

oxc

thanks for sharing your story pjaddicted. . .yeah i had a situation when my friend past away where i was there and couldnt do anything to help him, and that left me with a lot of guilt. . .we were playing basketball just the two of us and after a few minutes he just slowly collapsed, i thought he was screwing around, when i realized he wasnt i called 911, but they were unable to save him. . .turns out he had a genetic heart disorder which he was unaware of his whole life

pjfan31

mate that is sad. Keep strong but never forget

Indian Summer

what happened to him?

PJaddicted

angryyoungman wrote:

thanks for sharing your story pjaddicted. . .yeah i had a situation when my friend past away where i was there and couldnt do anything to help him, and that left me with a lot of guilt. . .we were playing basketball just the two of us and after a few minutes he just slowly collapsed, i thought he was screwing around, when i realized he wasnt i called 911, but they were unable to save him. . .turns out he had a genetic heart disorder which he was unaware of his whole life

There is no need for quilt....you can't save someone when that happens, it isn't like a regular heart attack, only surgery can help someone with a heart defect. 15 months ago my hubbies, cousins 16 year old son died in his sleep of the same thing. His mother found him not too long afte, he was already gone, they tried to save him, the guilt they are feeling is just awful. His family is completely destroyed, both parents drinking night and day.

Forgive yourself, and do some nice things for your friend, live for him.

I love where you live!! We used to go on vacation out in Aquebogue! I love Peconic bay. I have some of my dads ashes to spread there....my favorite childhood memories are those 2 week vacations! My grandparents lived in Jamesport.

oxc

miskin

PJaddicted wrote:

There is no need for quilt....you can't save someone when that happens, it isn't like a regular heart attack, only surgery can help someone with a heart defect. 15 months ago my hubbies, cousins 16 year old son died in his sleep of the same thing. His mother found him not too long afte, he was already gone, they tried to save him, the guilt they are feeling is just awful. His family is completely destroyed, both parents drinking night and day.

Forgive yourself, and do some nice things for your friend, live for him.

I love where you live!! We used to go on vacation out in Aquebogue! I love Peconic bay. I have some of my dads ashes to spread there....my favorite childhood memories are those 2 week vacations! My grandparents lived in Jamesport.

oxc

some really horrible stories. but yeah living for them is the best you can do. rather than letting it affect your life, having a worthwhile, happy and enjoyable life is the best thing you can possibly do, without forgetting your friend or family of course. I lost a 7 year old cousin almost exactly a year ago due to a brain tumour. Life can be so short, so the best thing to do is not to waste it. And think of them sometimes, happy memories

PJaddicted

Try to live for today....it is all we really have. Make it the best day ever, live like it is your last.

oxc

miskin

PJaddicted wrote:

Try to live for today....it is all we really have. Make it the best day ever, live like it is your last.

oxc

its a nice idea but rarely happens. we can but try!
i find writing songs or poetry helps me to deal with this kind of thing.

PJaddicted

miskin wrote:

its a nice idea but rarely happens. we can but try!
i find writing songs or poetry helps me to deal with this kind of thing.

That is the goal.....living in the moment. None of us do it for very long, but we should try! I get out in nature....nothing like the beauty of it to help put everything else into perspective! I plan on getting out today before I do anything towards Xmas!!! My puppy will have his hike, and I will clear my head and find the true meaning of the holiday. I will come home feeling great, and everyone else around me will benefit from that!

oxc

angryyoungman

PJaddicted wrote:

There is no need for quilt....you can't save someone when that happens, it isn't like a regular heart attack, only surgery can help someone with a heart defect. 15 months ago my hubbies, cousins 16 year old son died in his sleep of the same thing. His mother found him not too long afte, he was already gone, they tried to save him, the guilt they are feeling is just awful. His family is completely destroyed, both parents drinking night and day.

Forgive yourself, and do some nice things for your friend, live for him.

I love where you live!! We used to go on vacation out in Aquebogue! I love Peconic bay. I have some of my dads ashes to spread there....my favorite childhood memories are those 2 week vacations! My grandparents lived in Jamesport.

oxc

again thanks pjaddicted. . .i have always wondered if it was diagnosed earlier if they could have done something for him, but im not medically trained so i dont know. . .i have an aunt and uncle that live in jamesport. . .yeah those towns are further out east then me. . .but it is nice out there. . .you're in the city?

PJaddicted

angryyoungman wrote:

again thanks pjaddicted. . .i have always wondered if it was diagnosed earlier if they could have done something for him, but im not medically trained so i dont know. . .i have an aunt and uncle that live in jamesport. . .yeah those towns are further out east then me. . .but it is nice out there. . .you're in the city?

I grew up in Massapequa Park and now live up in Warwick NY, around 50 miles from NYC, just on the Jersey boarder. Its the country still...for a least another 5 minutes anyway!

The 16 year old I wrote about had a cardiologist visit scheduled for that coming Thursday and died on Monday! An irregular heart beat was discovered by a doctor during his Firefighter physical,so he went to the family doctor who said oh it is probably nothing, so they didn't rush him right in to the specialist?! Sooooo sad! My Dad who died almost 3 years ago always believed when it is your time....IT IS YOUR TIME, nothing you do will change that....so I'm going with that!

Hey have a very happy holiday! Feel your friend in your heart....he is there!

oxc